The Worst of Me

by Lisa J. Hobman

  Eventually Cat brought his food over and placed it before him on the bar. She eyed him suspiciously as he tucked in.

  “What?” he asked with a mouthful of haggis as she continued to stare at him.

  “I was just thinking… weren’t you in a women’s magazine a few months back about your hair?”

  He rolled his eyes and without bothering to swallow he nodded. “Yes…yes I was. Go ahead, take the piss. That’s what my band members did for ages after it came out.”

  She pulled her lips in, clearly trying not to laugh. “Well…it is very shiny. Kind of like the coat of a Border Collie.”

  He curled his lip at one side, hoping he looked menacing enough. “I could swear at you but I’m trying to be polite.”

  Giggling, she ducked back through to the kitchen and left him in peace.

  Chapter Seven

  Nick

  Nick awoke at nine the next morning following a remarkably good night’s sleep considering the recent events that had overtaken his already hectic life. Realising he only had half an hour to make it down for breakfast, he dashed into the shower, washed in record time and dried himself even quicker. He pulled on his jeans, high top trainers and his Tool band T-shirt and scraped his damp hair back into a band.

  Cat was there again, serving breakfast to the guests, and Nick wondered if she ever rested. The only other people staying were two elderly couples who were clearly vacationing together from the USA. They nodded in acknowledgement of Nick as he helped himself to fruit juice but, thankfully, they didn’t seem to recognise him. Nevertheless, he found a table in the corner and sat and looked out of the window at the stunning view. There was a mist hanging over the water but it didn’t detract from how eerily beautiful the place was.

  Truly breathtaking.

  Cat arrived at his table and interrupted his thoughts. “Morning, Random. You must have needed your rest. You nearly missed breakfast.”

  He didn’t much care for the new nickname she had allocated to him but decided to let it slide just this once. “Morning, Cat for short. Don’t you ever get a day off?”

  “Of course. It’s usually the day of the week without a ‘y’ in it.” She chuckled. “Dad needs a lot of help to run the place now he’s on his own. And I don’t mind really.”

  Without thinking first, he blurted, “What happened to your mum?” Worried he’d crossed some line with his question he cringed and braced himself for the backlash.

  The smile disappeared from her face and her gaze lowered to the carpet. “She passed away a few years back. The C word. We miss her terribly. But this place won’t run itself so we have to pull together.”

  Thinking about how much he loved and needed his own mum, he had the urge to hug her but didn’t act on it. “Oh…I’m sorry, Cat.” Guilt washed over him for his impertinent question.

  She shrugged her shoulders. “Thanks. It’s fine. Anyway, what are you wanting this morning?”

  Realising that particular conversation was over, he folded his hands on the table. “Can I have the full English please?”

  She narrowed her eyes and snapped, “Nope.”

  He pulled his face into a frown. “I thought I was down here in time?”

  “You are.”

  “But you’ve stopped doing a cooked breakfast?”

  “Nope. Still cooking.”

  He scratched his head. “Erm…I’m sorry…I…”

  She smirked at him. “God, you’re such a Sassenach. You’re in Scotland. We do a full Scottish.” She rolled her eyes at him.

  Heat seeped up to his cheeks. “Oh, yes…of course…sorry. I’ll have the full Scottish then please.”

  “Coming right up, Random,” she trilled and turned to walk away.

  “Cat.”

  She turned to face him again. “Yes?”

  “My name is Nick. You seem to be calling me Random.”

  She stepped back toward him and lowered her voice. “Aye, well, you are the random rock star that turned up here uninvited and I keep forgetting your actual name.” She pulled her lips in, obviously trying not to smile as she mocked him. Before he could respond further she scuttled off toward the kitchen.

  Breakfast was delicious. Who would’ve thought of eating Haggis at that time of day? In fact, who would have thought of eating Haggis at any time of day? Well, obviously not the Sassenachs. Suitably full and satisfied, he sat back to drink his freshly brewed coffee and watched Cat as she bustled around looking after the other guests and chatting to them about the area. She was a natural with people. Well, most people. Maybe it was just him she was awkward and brusque with. She had avoided chatting to him throughout the time he was eating and even afterward didn’t make much effort apart from to ask the obligatory question, “Was everything all right with your meal?”

  He decided to admit defeat on this occasion and leave it at that. He headed back up to his room and sat on his bed with a huff. He checked his phone and discovered he had four missed calls. Four? In the short space of time since I went down for breakfast? Damn stupid mobile signal. Why couldn’t it be rubbish like I expected?

  He played back his voicemails.

  The first one: “Nick, mate, we’re worried about you, dude. Where the hell are you? We need to speak to you about the set lists for Germany, mate. Gimme a call, ‘kay?”

  The second one: “Nick, it’s Den. Pick the fucking phone up and ring me, will you? We’re scared you’ve jumped off a fucking cliff or something. This is just not like you, Nick. And it’s not fair on the rest of the lads. Come on…do the right thing, eh?”

  Third: “Nick…I’ve just been speaking to Den. He tried calling you too. Why can’t you just return a call to someone? Whatever it is, you’re like my brother. I hate the thought of you out there somewhere on your own. Gimme a call ‘kay?”

  Fourth: “Okay, Nick. I’ve just spoken to your mum and although I still don’t know where the fuck you are, I know you must be okay ‘cos I can tell your mum is in on the whole damn thing. God love her, mate. She is really keen for you not to be found. Okay…well, we’ll give you a couple weeks. But remember we have a contract, okay? And you’re the main songwriter. Without you the band folds. I know that sounds like a shit load of pressure right now but…well, I’m sorry, but it’s true. Think about it, okay? Take care, mate.”

  Shit.

  A couple of weeks.

  That wasn’t long enough. His heart began to pound at his ribs and sweat broke out on his upper lip. He needed to get out. Get some fresh air. He pulled on his woolly hat and leather jacket and trudged downstairs. Cat was behind the bar doing some kind of stock take. She looked cute chewing on the end of the pen in her hand, her head tilted in concentration. He couldn’t help staring. She was completely oblivious to his presence as she continued to count the various bottles, pausing only to scribble on a note pad. Her auburn hair was scooped around and tied so that it fell in waves on her chest. Her slender neck was elongated and exposed and he found himself wondering how soft the skin would be under his lips.

  Fucking idiot. She can’t stand the sight of you.

  He leaned on the bar and waited for an opportune moment. “Hiya, Cat.”

  She jumped and dropped her pad and pen. “Shit! You scared me to death, you idiot!”

  Yup. See, you are an idiot. He smiled widely. “Whoops, sorry. Didn’t mean to make you jump.”

  “Yeah? Well don’t sneak up on me then!”

  He stifled a chuckle. “I’ll try not to do it again.”

  She responded with a scowl. “Make sure you try very hard then, eh?” She chuntered under her breath about stupid random rock stars.

  He lowered his voice to a seductive whisper. “I’ll try…very hard…I promise.”

  She turned to face him and swallowed, and for a moment something new flashed in her eyes. Had he turned her on?

  The moment was fleeting and she huffed. “Well…you’re nothing if not trying.” She grimaced at him. “Anyway, what do you want?”


  Nick scrunched his brow. “Has anyone told you that your customer service skills leave a lot to be desired?”

  She pursed her lips and her nostrils flared. “Can I just point out that usually I’m not accosted in my own home by random rock stars on the run from fame?”

  He shrugged. “If you must.”

  Narrowing her eyes she fixed him with a stern stare. “I think I just did. Now I will ask again. What. Do. You. Want?” She punctuated each word with a pause as if speaking to some kind of moron.

  He could see that attempts at being friendly were completely lost on Cat. She didn’t look at him all doe-eyed like women usually did; she mostly looked at him with disdain or indifference and he didn’t know which he liked the least. It didn’t sit well. Not when he was so used to women falling at his feet. So…this is what rejection feels like, eh? Good thing I’m not interested.

  Cat stood, hands on hips, her scowl fixed in place.

  He cleared his throat. “Erm, can you tell me where the nearest estate agency is please?”

  She snorted incredulously. “Don’t you dare tell me you’re going to buy a house around here. Don’t you dare.” She jabbed her pen in his direction.

  He rubbed his hands over his face. She exhausted him. Drained him. This reception was something he was simply not used to. She made everything such hard fucking work!

  He rolled his eyes as anger bubbled up to the surface, and he spoke through gritted teeth. “No, Cat. Not to buy somewhere…to rent somewhere a little longer term. Look, I would have been happy to stay here but…well, you clearly don’t want me here and so I aim to respect your wishes and get out of your hair, okay? Happy now?”

  She chewed on her lip for a moment. “This still means you’ll be around, though. And for longer. I want you to go away. Far away. I know it sounds cruel, Nick, but you being here is not good. This is a small place. A peaceful place. If I didn’t think it would cause more trouble to give you up I would be straight on the phone to find someone to come and take you back to London or…or New York, or wherever the hell you came from.”

  He took a deep breath to try and calm himself but his voice was still raised when he spoke. “Look, Cat, it’s a free country, okay? And I’m sorry, but I’m staying. For a while anyway. I know you don’t like me being here but like I’ve already said, I’m not going to do anything to cause problems for you. Once you get that into your thick head we can begin to tolerate each other. But until then I’ll just keep out of your fucking way! All right?” He turned to go. “And I’ll find a fucking yellow pages for the estate agent. Thanks for nothing!” He stomped across the pub and slammed through the exit.

  Once outside he breathed in the crisp morning air and calmed his racing heartbeat lest he have another damned-awful panic attack. Why did she have to go out of her way to be a bitch? Okay, so having a famous person in the village probably wasn’t commonplace, but shit, she was totally overreacting! Although, he had pretty much called her thick. Smooth, Dacre. And he had shouted and sworn at her. Really cool. Way to make friends and influence people, eh?

  He walked down to the water’s edge and looked out at the view before him.

  Breathtaking.

  Now the mist had lifted the winter sun was low in the sky and cast glistening golden highlights on the sea as it rolled toward the shore. Even the salt water was in no rush. Watching it soothed him. He took in a deep breath and exhaled, holding his hands interlocked on the top of his head. The chill of a slight breeze caressed his bare abdomen making him shiver and lower his hands to pull his T-shirt down.

  He walked for about an hour, simply looking out at the stunning views that greeted him. He resolved to go shopping as soon as possible to replace the ridiculous boots he was wearing after his ankle gave way on more than one occasion. Walking up a long dirt track that led away from the main road he noticed a little white cottage off to the side. A “To Let” sign leaned up against the white picket fence that skirted the front of the property. The back was surrounded by a tall hedge and the boundary seemed to go on and on. The nearest house he could see was hundreds of yards farther up the track.

  My God, it’s perfect.

  An hour later Nick pushed through the doors of the pub and made his way over to the bar where Tam leaned, chatting to an older couple. He briefly lifted his head and nodded in acknowledgement but a scowl creased his forehead and Nick wondered if Cat had complained to him about his earlier diva strop.

  He waited until Tam made his way over and greeted him with what he hoped was a friendly smile and not a worried grimace. “Hi, Tam. Is…ah…is Catriona around please?”

  “Look, Nick…she’s a sensitive wee girl, despite how she may come across. It’s all a defence mechanism—the surly front, I mean. She means nothing by it. It’s just her way. Since we lost her mum and her heart broke she’s always trying to protect her old dad.” He laughed. “Lord only knows why considering I’m in my fifties. She just worries about the implications of you being here and the peace of her home being shattered. It doesn’t bother me at all. I think things around here could do with stirring up a wee bit but, well, anyway….” He paused as if weighing up his next words. “She’s through the back at the house. I think you’d better go on through.” He gestured toward the back hallway that continued past the kitchen.

  “Cheers, Tam. I’m sorry if I upset her. It wasn’t intentional I can assure you. She just ... ”

  “Frustrates the living hell out of you? Aye. I know, lad. On you go. Mind out for JD, now. He’s a little scamp but he’s a wee live-wire.”

  Nick had no clue what Tam was talking about so he simply smiled and walked around behind the bar and through the small corridor until he was greeted with a door that had a “Private” sign on it. He knocked tentatively and a dog barked from inside the room. Ah, so that’s JD. He heard Cat chastising the noisy canine and after a few moments of waiting, the door opened. Her eyes widened at the sight of him and she tried to close the door in his face.

  He stuck his foot in the gap. “Cat…please?” He hoped his eyes expressed the sorrow he felt for how he’d spoken to her.

  “I have nothing to say to you. Please, just go.” Her emerald green eyes were filled with sadness and tinged red around the edges.

  Had he made the ice maiden cry?

  Taking a deep breath for courage he began. “Look, I was a total shit back there. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you like that. And I shouldn’t have insulted you. I ... I want to apologise.”

  Without making eye contact she tried to shove the door again. “Whatever you say, Nick. Just leave me alone now, okay?”

  Resisting the force of the door with his hand he stopped its movement. “No…please just talk to me, eh? I get that you’re uncomfortable with me being here. I get that you don’t like me in the slightest. But I swear to you that I’m not going to do anything to jeopardise this place. I really like it here.” He inhaled and closed his eyes. “Cat, I really need this…I need some time to think. Being here will afford me that time. Please can we at least be civil?”

  ♫♫♫

  Catriona

  She opened the door wider so she could stand to face him and straightened her spine in defiance. “I won’t pander to you, Nick. You’re a human being just like the rest of us. Just because you’re some famous bloke with lots of money and women falling at your feet doesn’t mean you get special treatment. I won’t be falling like that, I can assure you. And I still want you gone as soon as possible.” Her own words made her inwardly cringe. She wasn’t used to being so negative with people. But she didn’t need him here. None of the villagers did, but especially not her.

  “Cat, I don’t want special treatment. What do I have to do to make you see that I’m not here to cause trouble?”

  She shrugged and her insides tightened as she peered into the beautiful pleading eyes of the man who had called her “thick” only a short time before. “There’s nothing you can do. I’m not saying you’ll intentionally bring tro
uble…but…you’re the kind of person that trouble has a habit of hunting down.”

  Nick dropped his gaze to the worn carpet. “Am I to guess that from that comment that you’ve been reading about me?”

  She sighed as she couldn’t deny the obvious. She was only human after all, and curiosity was a persistent wee beastie. “Like I said before, don’t flatter yourself, but…well you do seem to make the headlines for all the wrong reasons.”

  He lifted his gaze and locked it on her once more. “And that’s exactly why I want my life back. Don’t I deserve that? To be seen for me rather than some ... some invented tabloid persona? Doesn’t any human being deserve that?”

  She was aware that she was acting like a bitch and the poor guy really did need thinking time but she couldn’t bring herself to be kind to him ... not yet. “Nick, I don’t even know you. How would I possibly know what you deserve? And let’s not forget you chose to be a random rock star.”

  His jaw clenched. “No. No, you’re wrong. I chose to make music. I didn’t ask for the rest of the crap that accompanies it.”

  You’re not fooling anyone. She rolled her eyes. “So you don’t care about the fancy car parked out back? Oh, and the money…the women…the notoriety?”

  He raised his hands and quickly dropped them back to his sides. “I thought I did but, well, after what happened at the airport I’m beginning to realise there’s got to be more to life. I love my music, of course I do. But there’s a lot to be said for walking down the street unrecognised.” He pointed emphatically in the direction of the exit. “Do you realise I went for a walk outside this afternoon? On my own…no bodyguard, no press, no screaming girls. And it felt incredible!” A handsome, wide smile spread across his face and the ice encasing her heart melted a little more. The joy he felt over something she took for granted was evident in his eyes. “I can’t honestly remember the last time I did that.” He ran his hands back over his hair, a nervous trait she had noticed on several occasions. “It felt so fucking good, Cat. I love this place.”