The Worst of Me

by Lisa J. Hobman

  “She’s just so gorgeous, Lach. I can’t get her out of my mind.”

  Aww, he’s so sweet. Cat paused to listen in on the lovely things he was saying about her.

  Lachlan huffed. “Well then, I really don’t understand why you did what you did, mate. If you love someone you don’t treat them that way. I know you’re my future brother-in-law but, come on, even you have to admit you were stupid.”

  “I was. True enough. And that’s why I had to do everything I could to get her back.”

  There was a brief pause before Lachlan spoke again. “So ... you and Sorcha ... it’s definitely over?”

  “You think I’d say otherwise when you screw my sister? You must be mad.” Camden laughed and Cat held her breath. Her heart pounded in her chest and she felt sure he would hear it.

  “So it’s not over?” Lachy sounded pissed off this time.

  “I didn’t say that either. But ... let’s just say it will be completely over after tonight. When Cat and Lorna get back I’m going to ask Cat to set a date for the wedding. It’s about time she made an honest man of me, eh?”

  “So basically you’ve kept your bit on the side just in case you and Cat didn’t work out?”

  “No, Lachy, no. It’s not exactly like that. I haven’t slept with Sorcha in a while now. Not since the engagement was back on, I think.”

  Cat was suddenly overcome with dizziness and nausea and she held the wall for support. Camden was still being unfaithful to her after she had agreed to take him back? And after he swore it was over for him and Sorcha too. She wanted to turn and run but her feet wouldn’t move. And she stood, stock still, with tears streaming down her cheeks, trying not to hyperventilate.

  Lachlan piped up, “Fuck. You’re a shit, you know that? And I hope for your sake she doesn’t find out any of this. Because I tell you, Cam, I’ve a mind to fucking tell her mysel’. And if Lorna wasn’t pregnant I would tell her. But this would make her fucking ill. And I don’t want to risk her health or the baby’s. But I want you to know right now that I don’t agree with any of what you’ve done. And I can’t even understand why you’re telling me all this.”

  Camden laughed. “Well, you asked.”

  “Aye, but I honestly thought you’d tell me things with you and Sorcha were over ages ago and that you’re so in love with Cat that you don’t need any other women in your life. Jeez. What the hell will Lorna think of me if Cat finds out the truth?”

  “Whoa, whoa, stop worrying, will you? She won’t find out. I’m the master of secrecy.”

  Lachlan sounded like he was speaking through clenched teeth. “And how the hell can you be so sure? You’ve put me in a damned awkward position here. And I don’t want to keep your sordid, dirty secrets.”

  “She won’t find out because she didn’t find out about the other thing.”

  Worry tinged Lachlan’s voice. “What ... other ... thing?”

  “Oh, just a little phone call I made to the press about that long-haired arse-wipe who tried to replace me. He wasn’t smart enough and he needed taking out of the picture.”

  Cat retched and covered her mouth with her hand as she bent forward.

  “You did what?”

  Yep, Lachlan was definitely not happy.

  Trying her best not to throw up, Cat clutched her stomach in the hope that the huge knot would unravel but, of course, it didn’t. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing and she bit into her lip to check this wasn’t some horrid dream. But when she tasted the iron tang of blood she knew it was, in fact, a cruel reality.

  Camden chuckled an evil little laugh. “Oh, aye. You know how the press turned up at the pub’s music night? Well it was me that rang the newspapers pretending to be that Nick bastard. I do a mean Yorkshire accent, you know?” He proved his point as he spoke. “I reckon I sound a lot like him, don’t you? Well, they believed me anyway. Gullible shits. So when they turned up saying he’d rung them, he hadn’t.” Camden clearly found this hilarious judging by the laughter. “He had no clue they were coming. It was so funny watching through the window. The expression on that arrogant dick’s face ... priceless. I told them that I, Nick Dacre, wanted plenty of publicity for the community work I was doing with a group of delinquent teens. That I needed their help to get back into the limelight. They bought it. Hook, line and sinker. Just like that. I knew how Cat would feel about him doing such a thing so it was sheer genius on my part, eh? And the stupid fucker didn’t even try to deny it. He just left. I didn’t even have to have words with him. Mission accomplished.”

  Lachlan’s voice lowered in tone. “How long had you known who he was?”

  “From day one, mate. Day one. All that crap about keeping it a secret ... seriously. How stupid can one person be? It’s not like he was some b-side pop wannabe or a one hit wonder. He’s Nick fucking Dacre. I can’t believe Cat was so stupid either in all honesty. I thought she was far more intelligent than to believe she could help him keep his secret. And the fact that she wanted to help him pissed me off. He needed taking down a peg or two. The whole village knew who he was for fuck’s sake. It’s just that some were happier to keep it quiet so Gairloch wouldn’t be overrun with paparazzi and screaming girls. But I figured once the word got out he’d have to crawl back under his little rock.”

  In a complete and utter daze, Cat turned and began to walk away. A kind of numbness had settled in and she didn’t hear Lorna when she called her name several times.

  A hand landed on her shoulder, making her yelp. “Hey, Cat, it’s just me.” Lorna was out of breath, like she’d been running.

  Turning to face her friend she pleaded, “Lorna please let me go. I have to go ... I have to get to Inverness. I’ve got to go.”

  Placing both hands on Cat’s shoulders Lorna stopped her from walking away. “Hey, you’re going nowhere in this state. Are you sickening? You’re so pale and your eyes are all bloodshot. I think you should come home with me. Cam’s there.”

  Cat shook her head, nothing really registering and her mind a whirring mess of incoherent thoughts and scrambled words. “No ... no way. It was all lies. It wasn’t him. He didn’t do it. But I blamed him and now he’s gone.”

  Lorna frowned and squeezed Cat’s shoulders. “Cat, you’re scaring me, honey. Who didn’t do what?”

  Cat reached up and grabbed at the strands of her own hair. “I didn’t even give him a chance. You were right. I made him leave.” Panic washed over her and she turned to run.

  But as she set off there was a screeching of brakes and a loud scream.

  “Cat, no!”

  Chapter Thirty Six

  Nick

  “Do you think she’ll come?” Chris’s words yanked Nick back from his daydream.

  He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “Honestly? No. I think I blew it.”

  Chris held up his hand in protest. “But, Nick, you did nothing wrong, mate. She presumed the worst of you.”

  Chris was right, of course, but perhaps he should have argued his side and told her that. Told her he had no clue who had called the press about his whereabouts but that he loved her and would never have done anything to hurt her.

  He shrugged. “The trouble is, Chris, I didn’t stay and fight. I should have but I took the coward’s way out.”

  “And you don’t think your performance on TV last night will have made her see how you feel? You were heartbroken, mate. Surely even an ice queen would have melted at that? I reckon she’ll be here. Just you wait.” Chris patted him on the back and stood. “Well, I’m off to go look around the stalls and grab a bite to eat. You want anything?”

  “Nah thanks, buddy. I’m good.”

  “Well don’t sit there wallowing all afternoon. It won’t do you any good at all.” Chris walked away in the direction of the main festival and Nick was once again left to his own thoughts.

  After strumming on his guitar and penning the lyrics and chords to a new song he decided that maybe Chris had been right. He stowed his guitar
on the tour bus and stuck on his shades and hat. It was as incognito as he could manage but it would have to do.

  The festival was a heaving mass of bright coloured clothing and face paints. A myriad of different cooking smells teased his nostrils and he realised how hungry he was as his stomach growled in anticipation. So many people had taken the rainbow theme to the nth degree and the multitude of colours on display was only made slightly more subtle by his dark glasses.

  Stalls selling all manner of trinkets and toys lined the outer edge of the festival ground and revellers spontaneously broke into song and dance at almost every turn. He grinned like an idiot at the lively atmosphere and his excitement about their impending evening performance on the main stage began to build.

  There were several stages already boasting some hugely talented musical acts and he stopped to listen to a few, clapping along in unison with the other party goers.

  At five o’clock he met up with the rest of Sonic Idols and they made their way to the Grassroots stage where Rockhill were due to play.

  “You guys are going to be blown away, seriously,” Nick told the rest of his band. “You won’t have ever seen a group so young with so much talent.” They took their places to the side of the stage so they were behind the barrier but could still see.

  The kids from Rockhill walked nervously on to the stage and took up their positions. They had kept in touch and had sent Nick a CD they had made on the little recording set up he had sent them after he left, and although he was slightly biased, he thought they sounded fantastic. They were really coming on in their song writing too. He held his breath and his heart pounded. Come on, guys. You’ve got this.

  Connor beat out the count in to their first song and Callum’s arm circled the air with his plectrum clutched in his fingertips, striking down on the first chord of the song like a true rock star. Nick exhaled and grinned like a proud father as he watched Grace strut around the stage like she owned it. Even Liam was no longer frozen to the spot and Jack could have given Bon Jovi’s Dave Bryan a run for his money with her mean licks on the keyboard.

  The audience were loving it too. They clapped and sang along to the couple of covers the band played and then Grace even had them singing along to one of their own numbers. She had the crowd eating out of the palm of her hand and Nick couldn’t have been happier if she was his own daughter.

  “Bloody hell, mate. I know you insisted they were good but I just thought were being kind. They’re fucking awesome!” Chris’s compliment meant so much and Nick was so proud he thought he may burst.

  Den appeared at Nick’s side. “I reckon I might have to be having a word with this lot about representation, Nick,” he shouted into his ear over the music. “You’ve done an amazing job with them. Maybe once you’re too old and fat to be a rock star yourself you could be a talent scout.” He chuckled and nudged him in the shoulder.

  Regardless of the fact that he had spoken in jest, something in Den’s words connected to a deep part of Nick’s mind that had been wondering something very similar. Although not the part about getting fat. He wouldn’t be letting that happen any time soon!

  After forty-five minutes the kids came off the stage to a raucous applause and they made their way toward Nick who grappled each member into a bear hug.

  “You were amazing. Absolutely fantastic!” he told them.

  “I was a bit flat in ‘All I Ever Wanted’ though.” Grace huffed.

  Nick scrunched his face. “Were you heck, Grace. Your voice was on top form. And Liam, fu ... lipping heck, mate, when did you take the superglue off your feet? I thought you had St Vitus Dance for a minute.” He ruffled the young lad’s hair. Liam blushed and grinned.

  “Jack, Callum, Connor, all brilliant. I’m buzzing.” And he was. It was the best natural high he had experienced in a long while.

  The kids were eventually taken away one by one by their parents, each one filled with compliments and thanks for what Nick had helped them achieve. By the time he headed back to the tour bus he was almost floating.

  Back on the bus he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and took a seat in the communal area. He was soon joined by the rest of the band who were all in high spirits and looking forward to the fast approaching gig.

  “The atmosphere in this place is phenomenal, don’t you think?” Si asked the rest of the group who all agreed.

  “Absolutely. One of the best festivals we’ve played. Bloody good food too. I had this bowl of some veggie and meat thing called Stovies. Heaven in a dish. I need to find me a good Scottish woman who can cook.” Chris laughed until he made eye contact with Nick and his smile faded. “Shit, sorry, mate. That was insensitive.”

  Nick held up a hand to dismiss his unnecessary apology. “Nah. It’s fine. But if you do find one, do yourself a favour, eh? Hold on tight and don’t let go. Don’t make the same mistake I did.” He dropped his gaze to the label on his bottle. “In fact, I think I might go for a bit of a nap if you guys don’t mind. Conserve my energy and all that.” He stood from the couch that wrapped around the wall.

  “Knock yourself out, mate. Not literally though, eh? We kinda need you conscious at some point tonight.” Chris chuckled and Nick shook his head as he walked toward the back of the bus.

  Chapter Thirty Seven

  Nick

  Standing outside the tour bus, Nick inhaled lungs full of the warm summer evening air. The sun had begun to set an hour before, casting a golden glow as the last rays descended below the horizon. The festival site was now lit by torches, fairy lights and hanging lanterns, and had a magical atmosphere. There was an ethereal wonderment to the whole place, like he had stepped into the film set of Peter Pan and he was making the most of the last few moments of peace.

  The band had all changed into their stage outfits—which basically meant they had donned clean underwear and shirts with their jeans—and were raring to get out and entertain the masses.

  Earlier Nick had tied his hair into a so-called ‘man-bun’, just how Cat had taught him, and on looking at his reflection he remembered the way her pupils dilated when she saw him that way. A knot formed in his stomach and he wondered where she was. How she was. And was she thinking of him at all? She was a constant in his thoughts and no matter what he was supposed to be doing she was always there in the back of his mind, reminding him of how good it had felt to be loved by someone real. Someone who loved him for Nick the regular guy.

  He had no idea if she had seen him on TV and he wondered if she had watched had his performance affected her at all? In his mind’s eye he was assaulted by conjured images of her snuggled up on her couch with Camden, watching him pour his heart out on live TV as they both laughed at how pathetic he was. A pain shot through him like he had been hit in the solar plexus; he doubled over, trying his best to breathe through it. The last thing he needed now was a panic attack to strike.

  Chris patted him on the back. “Hey, Nick, mate. Are you okay?”

  He straightened to his full height and smiled at his friend. “Yeah, I think so. Bit of indigestion maybe. I should lay off the chocolate crepes. I think I had five today.” He forced a laugh.

  His humour obviously didn’t fool Chris. “You going to be okay out there?”

  Nick was touched by the concern expressed in his friend’s eyes but he nodded emphatically. “Hell yeah. Bring it on!”

  A grin spread, ear to ear on Chris’s face. “That’s more like it, dude. Come on, let’s get this party started.”

  They joined the rest of the group at the side of the stage in readiness and had their usual group huddle. The crowd were going crazy and Nick could hear his name being chanted above the sound of the music being played over the PA system. Thankfully the nerves that may have petrified him only months before were kept in abeyance and instead a flip of excitement rolled through his stomach.

  The DJ from Radio Scotland was warming up the already heated crowd and as he announced them, a cacophony of noise erupted through the main stag
e area as Sonic Idols walked out into the spotlights.

  The glare of the lights dazzled Nick’s eyes as he took his place at the middle of the stage and peered out at the hundreds of people who were lining the basin of the outdoor auditorium as well as the bankings up the sides.

  “Good evening Belladrum!” he shouted into the microphone. The volume of the response almost knocked him off his feet. “You having a great weekend?” Another raucous cheer. Someone shouted ‘Marry me, Nick!’ and he laughed and shook his head. “I bet you say that to all the boys!” The crowd laughed and cheered. “Well, it’s great to be here tonight. In case you don’t know, we’re Sonic Idols and we’re here to rock this place!”

  Si beat out the intro to “Hot and Heavy” and Nick grabbed the mic from its stand. Strutting across the stage he beat out his fisted hand in time with the drums and began to sing. The chemistry between the band members was still there and, as always, Chris bounced around like a kid on a trampoline who’d eaten too many e-numbers. The audience sang along and clapped, hands above their heads when requested. The whole thing came like second nature to Nick and he still got the biggest buzz out of holding his microphone toward the audience and hearing his own words sang back at him.

  Although his mind was concentrating on delivering the sexy lyrics the fans knew so well, somewhere in his subconscious he wondered if there was just a slight chance that Catriona may be out there somewhere, watching the show.

  The festival audience were real live wires and the interaction on stage between the guys was the best it had ever been. But regardless of all this Nick was still aware of the Catriona shaped hole in his heart and being back in Scotland made him homesick for a place he hardly really knew. It was an unexplainable feeling that had gripped him the second they had crossed into the Scottish Borders, and the closer they got to the Highlands the more he had been gripped by a deep seated need to be back out there amongst the bracken and sea air.