Lex (Unconventional Hearts)

by S. K. Logsdon

  Chapter Twenty

  Lex

  What a heavy weighted emotional day!

  Gage departed my house about four hours ago, after we had the necessary ‘talk’. More of me listening, attempting to soak in an abundance of overwhelming information, and he getting the chance to finally spill an entire Lake Erie size can of beans. I’m fairly certain he didn’t leave a thing unsaid. We are both left emotionally drained.

  Between knowing just about everything there is to know about my past and present, he left his wife after years of pining for me. Me—Lex Keagan, a girl of sorts with a mountain of baggage. Baggage that we both seem to carry heavily on our shoulders. Mine bearing down on me harder than his. He seems to have his shit together. Knows how he feels, what he wants and has spent years surrounded in vast wonderment on how to accomplish his ultimate goal, that goal being me.

  If you were basically handed six years’ worth of emotions how would you react? How would it make you feel? Hopefully similar to me. I’m confused, lost and for the lack of a better term—flabbergasted. I can’t describe it any other way. A man liking you, attempting to woo you, is one thing, but this takes the gold, presidency and the dictatorship, all in one. It’s that massive, to a woman like me at least.

  What would you do in my position? Would you throw yourself at the mercy of a man who claims to love you and desire you? Or do you do the sensible thing and take a giant leap backward and take an inventory of life, feelings, things you’ve or should I say, I’ve, never dreamt about, let alone experienced.

  Honestly, I don’t have the answers and the woman I would be most willing to divulge my innermost feelings with, is in the proverbial bed with this said man. Roni—Veronica Phoenix, has joined forces with Gage, the Suit Master. Instead of presenting this debacle to me directly or having my back and concerning herself with what matters to me most—loyalty and friendship, she sides with him and even helps him. I’ve heard the entire story play-by-play. Some may feel her choice was in my best interest or justified. That’s how lawyer, Gage Masterson presented his case to me this morning, defending her when I dove off the deep end and actually screamed at him for involving my best friend in matters like this.

  I can’t pinpoint why, but I feel a deeper sense of betrayal from Roni than I do Gage, for portraying both men. At least his excuses and explanations carried weight and validity behind them. Roni added to the equation does not. I could never and would never do that to her, even if the result turned out to be good in the end.

  Alright, enough of this, since I can’t trust Roni, I’ve called upon the one other person I can trust—Lincoln. We’re meeting casually for dinner tonight at Dolly’s. I need another person’s input on this emotional cluster fuck and I know he’d never lead me astray.

  Gage

  “What’s wrong little brother?” Tasha throws her arm over my shoulder, as I stand here in the kitchen overlooking the backyard through the window, watching Emma, Uncle Max and Babs; my dad’s Lab, play fetch.

  “I’m fine.” I glumly state.

  “Uh huh, and I’m a size two.”

  Damn sarcasm, about her weight again, I swear my sister has got to cut that shit out. Natasha, or Tasha for short, is nearing forty, but ever twenty-nine, if you ask her. She has a severe body complex and has since we were kids. Maybe all women are that way.

  Tasha has long wavy brown tawny hair. It’s truly gorgeous. I grew up being forced to brush it and style it for her. I worshiped the ground she walked on. She always played the mother role in my life. Since our mom was always drinking or doing god knows what else. Tasha also has the family green blue eyes that we all inherited from our dad. She stands about five seven and what she bitches about most is her body. Tasha’s a fashion queen but she’s not skinny. I’m not exactly sure what size she is but if I’d have to guess she’s slightly less than plus sized. And her breasts are gigantic. I’m her brother so I’m not speaking in sexual terms. Just the truth, they are impossible to miss. Considering they swallow up the entire top portion of her body.

  “Stop talking about your body that way.” I ring her neck with my arm, pull her into a hug and kiss her forehead.

  “Awe, what are you two doing? I didn’t get my hug today.” Chelsea, my dad’s wife who’s Lex’s age, comes strolling into the kitchen and sidles up next to me.

  “Gagey here was just about to tell me about his girlfriend.” Tasha snidely remarks, wrapping her arms loosely around my waist, my arms draped over her shoulders. She doesn’t care for Chelsea when it comes to me. Every other way they seem to get along, but I know Tasha see’s what I do. Chelsea has the hots for me. My father is no spring chicken, and he’s surely not a romantic man. So, I must seem like an easy catch to her.

  Chelsea’s eyes go wide in surprise. “You have a girlfriend?”

  “I…well…”

  Tasha cuts me off. “Yes. Her name is Lex. She owns a company and she’s absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. Gagey’s sort of had a thing for her for a while now and they just had their first official sleepover last night. He was just about to tell me how great in bed she is. Weren’t you brother?” She briefly winks at me and gives nosey, flirtatious, Chelsea a speculative glance with a raised brow.

  “Lex, you say?” Chelsea asks, like she is actually interested.

  The back door swings open and Emma comes running inside.

  “Daddy what bout’ Lex?”

  Tasha backs away from being my human shield and I pick up Emma under her armpits and plop her down on the kitchen countertop to sit.

  “Chelsea was just asking about her, baby.” I explain to Emma, tucking an errant stand her of dark hair behind her ear, away from her flushed cheeks.

  “Lex, is daddy’s angel.” Emma explains maturely to Chelsea.

  “His what?”

  “Daddy’s angel. I’m daddy’s baby and Lex is daddy’s angel.”

  I know Emma is referring to my tattoo on my back that I’ve had for three years. I sat for about seventy hours to get all the details I wanted. Needless to say, my ex-wife hates it, and for good reason.

  “Oh, okay.” Chelsea mumbles and excuses herself from the kitchen.

  “Hey baby, why don’t you go wash up and say goodbye to everyone. We need to go home.” I lift Emma from the counter, to the floor.

  “K.” She scurries off and as she leaves the kitchen and I turn to my sister and frown.

  “I didn’t have sex with her.”

  “I know that but Chelsea doesn’t, and if she knows what’s good for her she’ll stop drooling over you. Now spill.”

  This is the first time all day I’ve been alone with my sister. Her husband, the kids or my dad have been lurking nearby so we haven’t been able to talk. Tasha knows all there is to know about my feelings for Lex and she knows about lady. I haven’t given her much of the background in terms of the abuse or the other things about Lex’s past. She knows the basics, mainly.

  “Well the plan at Vino’s worked.”

  “I told you it would.”

  I nod. “Well it did and I drove her home and we fooled around a little…”

  My sister squeals with boisterous excitement, a giant smile erupts on her face and she claps her hands, bouncing on the pads of her feet. Doesn’t take much to excite her — evidently.

  “And?”

  “And… What?”

  “Details, Gagey, I need details.”

  Rolling my eyes, I shake my head, laughing. “Fine, but not a word to anyone.”

  She pretends to zip her lips, lock them and toss the invisible key over her shoulder.

  “I made her come three times. I wouldn’t let her touch me, not yet. Then we talked about everything and I left.”

  “Was she…. You know… Big? Small?”

  “Fuckin’A, Tash!”

  Placing her hand on her hip, she throws out the attitude in waves.

  “I’ve been married for-ever, Gage. Max will never be married, and I’ve been gunning for you and Lex for years. Years
, Gage. Now tell me.”

  Fine.

  “It’s perfect.”

  Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, exasperated, she says, “Come on, you can do way better than that.”

  Nosey ass sisters! Ahhh! Can’t live with em and can’t live without em’.

  “Fine. It was the most amazing thing ever. It was the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on, or touched or sucked, or pleasured or anything. She’s perfect, fucking perfect, I tell ya. I’ve known it for years, but it’s even better than I ever thought. Ya happy? Does that fill your needs of wanting to know? That the woman I love tastes so good, I’m getting blue balls just talking about her.”

  Tash smiles and nods. “Yep, it’s about damn time. See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? So when she coming to lunch?”

  I shrug, “I. Don’t. Know. We’re not in a relationship.”

  We chat for a few minutes; she pats me on the shoulder telling me I have to bring Lex over soon. Emma comes into kitchen and it’s time to head home. It’s been a long two days and I need to text Lex. I need to make sure we’re okay. That she’s good with us.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Thursday

  Lex

  “Hey boss, how’s your week going?” Daniel inquires, standing inside my doorway, hands on the frame, looking utterly uncomfortable.

  “It’s fine.” I mutter clicking around on my computer finalizing my last choices on some business deals that I have been working on all week.

  “Oh…well…Roni, she told me to…” He fumbles over his words.

  “To what? To see how I’m doing? Yes, I’m sure she has, because I refuse to speak with her. Please tell her to mind her own business. Better yet, I’ll do it.” I snap, irritated. I click my interoffice phone, turn it on speaker and press her number that’s on speed dial.

  “Hello?” she hesitates. “You’re calling me from the office?”

  “Stop telling Daniel to babysit me. It’s been four days since I’ve spoken with you. I want space. Get it through your thick skull. Goodbye.” I click off and Daniel has already retreated and shut my door. Good!

  Now. Let’s see… Where do I start?

  Sunday I had planned on meeting with Lincoln, but on my way to the garage, Roni approached me, and we had it out. It wasn’t pleasant and let’s just say I haven’t spoken with her since.

  “I want you to be happy.” Was her rebuttal when I lashed out saying, “You screwed with my privacy, and invited a man into my life knowing how hard and painful it is for me, and didn’t even have the decency to tell me!”

  You may think I was harsh, but this is my best friend we’re talking about here. Yes, she’s always stuck her nose where it doesn’t belong. I know it’s from love. However, when she gets angry and doesn’t speak to me for days because I didn’t admit to how I felt about Gage to begin with. That’s supposed to be acceptable. Now I’m supposed to just brush off the fact she’s lied to my face on numerous occasions. I’m following by example. Her lies by omission consisted of the drinks from the Suit Master at the bar. The dress. The dinner date. All of it. Now I’ve suffered through her shunning me. I’m just repaying the same gesture.

  Then on Sunday after I missed my date with Lincoln, because he had to go into work, I spent two hours arguing with Roni. Gage texted and I ignored him. Monday he texted again, and I ignored him. Tuesday he texted and I ignored him. Wednesday he texted and called and I also ignored him.

  I need space and I desperately need orgasms, lots and lots and lots and lots of orgasms. He has forever ruined me. I wake up horny, I come to work horny, and I go to bed the same way. I refuse to use Daniel for release, because somewhere in my catastrophically screwed up mind and most definitely my heart, just the mere thought of having Daniel make the throbbing cease, makes me ill, close to vomiting kind of sick. It’s not Daniel, he’s a good young man. It’s Gage, he’s gotten to me so badly, that every single part of me craves him, and the only thing I’ve ever craved before is chocolate and tea. Nothing else. This is new.

  My mind is a mess, my heart is an even bigger mess and lady—oh, and I might as well hang it up. I masturbated three times yesterday. Yes, I said it, three freaking times. Once when I got up to make the throbbing go away. Of course, my mind always uses Gage as the muse in my sexual release fantasies. Then I masturbated in my car during lunch. You know you’re desperate when you do it in your car on lunch break. Then I did it before bed. Still, nothing has helped.

  The picture of his glorious Adonis physique is burned forever into my retinas; tall, medium built, lean sculpted smooth muscles, tattoos in the most beautiful and intricate of designs that hide his scars. The cigarette burns on his thighs have been turned into stars, all a part of a nighttime galaxy of sizable majestic proportions. His body is hard, yet, soft and his dick… Oh. My. God. I’ve only actually seen three penis’s in person, in my entire life. Gage’s takes the cake and then some. It commands attention. It’s thick, long, perfectly straight and has the meatiest, sexiest, purple head I’ve ever beheld. His shaft has thick veins that protrude and his pubis is neatly trimmed. Then his balls, wow… They are heavy, hang just the right amount to stand out, it’s like they’re expressing. ‘Yes, I’m a fucking man!’ Plus, he pre-comes. I love that. I don’t know why, but when a man’s cock has that dewy drop of silken perfection glistening on the head, like it’s begging you to suck it off. It’s divine, and I nearly lost it when I got the briefest of glimpses of Gage’s tempting pre-come.

  I pre-come too, but not like him. Mine’s a mess. Always has been. It reminds me of a pussy— soaking wet. Lady, acts the same way. She constantly seeps her juices. I’ve never needed lube to masturbate on the rare occasions that I do, or did. Now I can’t seem to tame this rampant incessant libido that’s beckoning for me to play nearly twenty-four seven. On Tuesday, I woke up at three a.m. from a wet dream. I’ve not had one of those in like twelve years.

  I even called my doctor yesterday to ask him if my HRT patches needed to be upgraded to twice a week instead of the once a week. The hormones I used to take in the beginning were injections, but since I’ve been on hormones successfully and healthily for so many years, I opted for the newest advancements and I wear a small patch on my butt. And according to my doctor, me being hard all the time is not an indicator that my hormones are inaccurate. Since I am a woman and women drive their libido mainly from mental stimulation, he said that my mind has decided it’s horny, and therefore my body is just following suit. Damn my over excited brain!

  “Boss, you have someone here to see you.” Daniel expresses over the intercom, tugging me out of my overactive mind.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s me, my girl, now can I come in or not?” Crap! He doesn’t sound too happy with me.

  “Yes.” I sigh.

  The door to my office opens, and Mr. Deep-sexy-voice boldly strolls in, walks around my desk, and picks me up out of my chair, forces my legs to wrap around his waist. Throws the stuff off my desk and plops my butt down on top of it, and then he forcefully grabs my face into his hands, making me look into his eyes.

  I’m breathing so heavily, I’m now panting and he is radiating bounds of powerful emotions through me.

  “Why haven’t you answered my calls?”

  I freeze, afraid if I give him the wrong answer he will yell. I know he’d never harm me.

  “Tell me, I have been trying to get a hold of you since Sunday. I have been worried sick. When I stopped by twice this week you wouldn’t answer your door. This isn’t like you. What happened?” His demanding tone is hard and I know he means business.

  “Something happened, something big, I’m…I’m, sorry. I’ve been…I dunno…” I shrug and he pulls me tightly to his chest, between my legs. Wearing his street clothes of jeans and a black t-shirt clinging to his massive body.

  Rubbing my back with his huge hand, he kisses my hair, “Don’t you ever do that to me again. You know what I do to women who are bad?”


  I shake my head into his chest, my arms hugging his waist.

  “I spank them. Hard. Until their cheeks turn bright red and they beg me to stop. Every single part of me right now wants to bend you over my knee, Lex. Every part of me wants to punish you for putting me through hell, but I can’t and I won’t. You know that don’t you? You know I would never hurt you.”

  I hesitantly nod, and whisper. “I know Lincoln, I’m sorry…”

  “Yes, you’d better be. I talked to Roni, she tells me you’ve found a man. She also tells me you’re mad at her. So what you’re going to do is, take the day off work. We are going to lunch at Dolly’s like we were supposed to on Sunday. Then you and I are going back to your place, where I’m going to rub your feet and we are going to watch a movie and eat ice-cream. You are going to tell me the whole damn story. I’m not leaving until you get your emotions in order. I’m worried because my gut it telling me to be, and if my gut is barking at me, it means something is wrong with my girl, and I’ll be damned if we don’t get this shit straightened out.”

  I nod. I love that Linc is such a great friend. I’m sorry I didn’t contact him sooner. I guess I failed to mention that he’s been calling me nonstop since Sunday. Between him and Gage, my phone has been going crazy. I honestly haven’t checked any of the messages or texts. It too much to handle. I’m already running on emotional overload as it is.

  Gage

  Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I’ve been calling, I’ve been texting and I’ve been trying to give her physical space. Fuck space! I can’t take this anymore. I think I’ve made progress with Lex. I was wrong. Really fuckin’ wrong. Now she won’t even text me or call me or anything. It’s not like I can take off work to chase her down. I want to so badly, but, I can’t. I’m working on an important case, trying desperately to get this scumbag abuser behind bars.