Lex (Unconventional Hearts)

by S. K. Logsdon

“Yes.” I whisper.

  “It’s okay. Don’t freak out. Do you want me to come up there with you?”

  Do I want him to? My brain screams NO, but every single cell in my body is begging for him to do what he did to me again last night. I’m already turned on thinking about it.

  Rolling over, I army crawl to the edge of the bed, the side I usually climb out from. Peeking over the edge, my stomach flat on the bed, I see him, he’s sleeping on my floor, still dressed in his suit from last night. Except his jacket and tie is missing and his shirt is slightly unbuttoned. Sleepy eyes peer up at me and he grins. I close my eyes to will the moan that I want to utter, away. I hate that he affects me this intensely.

  “Hi.” He’s the first one to speak.

  “Hi.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  How am I feeling? How am I feeling? I feel worried, scared, terrified, nervous, and at the same time I feel free, lighter, sexy and even desired. Not by just anyone but from the one man I can’t stop thinking about.

  “I’m okay.”

  “Do you want to talk now?”

  I chew on my lip, contemplating his question and he growls.

  “What?”

  “Stop chewing your lip, sweetheart. You know what that does to me. If you don’t want me to do what I did last night you’ll stop now.”

  I’m not stopping, not if that’s a promise.

  I keep chewing and he growls again, sinfully devouring me with his eyes. His hand reaches down and he rubs the bulge in his pants.

  “See what you do to me.” He darkly states. Turning the potent sexual heat in the room up a full hundred degrees.

  I swallow hard, my mouth drooling, unable to take my eyes from his hand as he masturbates over his pants.

  “Do you like?”

  I nod.

  “Tell me.”

  Even though his spicy demanding tone should scare me, even intimidate me, it doesn’t. It makes me feel powerful, and that he wants to know how I feel; that he cares to know.

  “I like it.” I shyly mutter, turning fifty shades of red.

  He deeply chuckles. “How much?”

  “A lot.” I watch a wet spot stain the outside of his pants and I close my eyes, suppressing another moan. What is wrong with me?

  “Tell me more. I might come just watching you watch me.”

  “You’re hot, Gage. So hot. What do you did to me last night scared me. I was so worried what you would think of it.” I turn my head again, afraid to speak more.

  “Look at me.”

  I listen.

  “What you have is not an it.” He emphasizes and goes on. “What you have is sexy, it’s mine and I want to suck it. Come down here, Angel, and straddle my chest. Show me that you know that I want it. That you accept that.”

  Anxious, with a giant knot in my gut and my heart rapping hard in my chest. I climb out of bed and lift my dress.

  “That’s it, now sit on me and put her in my mouth.” He licks his lips.

  Crouching, I rest on his chest and tuck my dress higher, but not too high. I can’t show him my scars. Those will turn him off for sure, and I don’t want that. I love this sexual power. Power he’s allowing me to have. Power I’ve never had before in my life with a person I desire and want as much as I do Gage.

  Leaning forward I grab ahold of my nightstand, ease myself forward on his chest and he licks the tip and I shudder, gasping.

  “That’s it, Angel. My balls are so sore from not coming last night. I’m going to come today. As I suck on… What’s it called?”

  He’s testing me. The cocky grin playing on the sides of his face and the raised brows tells me as much.

  “Lady.”

  “That’s right, she’s my lady. My lady dick. Right?”

  “Yours.” I breathe, trembling, anxiety and wanton need flooding my veins. Then he takes me all the way into his mouth and I work my length into his throat, gently making love to his face. My hips rocking, sliding myself in and out, he hums and groans, and I can feel his body shaking as he masturbates himself, hot air bursts from his nose as he devours me, sucking me into heaven.

  It doesn’t take but a few moments I can feel my balls tingle and I throw my head back. Scrapping his teeth on the underside of my lady, he sends me over the edge. I moan, jerking my rod into his mouth, coming, filling him and he swallows it all down, with a low growl, vibrating deep in his chest. Looking down and slowly trying to ease my semi-hard self from inside his mouth, he sucks me back in and scrunches his eyes shut. His body quakes under me and he roars, with me still inside of him, reaching his own beautiful climax.

  Reopening his smoky eyes, he dives his gaze into mine, locking us together and my heart climbs into my throat. Butterflies are flapping in my belly. An all-consuming dirty smile covers his face and he sucks me harder and harder until I’m fully aroused once more.

  “Why are you doing this?” I croak, unbelievably turned on again.

  He shrugs, sucking me. I know he’s enjoying it. I can see the happy lines crease around his eyes.

  “You’re not going to take me out of your mouth to answer me are you?”

  He shakes his head, and I giggle a smile.

  “Can I ask you questions? You nod or shake your head in answer?”

  He nods.

  “Do you like touching me?”

  Nod.

  “Are you going to let me touch you?”

  Shakes his head, and I frown.

  “Have you known about lady all along?”

  Nod.

  “And it doesn’t turn you off?”

  Shakes head repeatedly and an ‘uh-uh’ garbles out of his throat.

  “Can I get up to take a shower?”

  Shakes his head. I giggle.

  “When…can I get up and take a shower?”

  His eyes take in my body, sitting atop of his and he cutely bounces his manly eyebrows and sucks me forcefully a few times. Making me groan.

  I get the point.

  “Not until I get off?”

  He smiles, and nods.

  “Okay, then you better work your magical mouth. I’ve got to shower, do yoga and we need to talk.”

  He nods and starts sucking me harder and deeper into his mouth. Grabbing my butt, he lifts me off his chest, scoots down a little and positions me so he can control my hips thrusting. His arms do the work, as I hold onto the nightstand and he forces me to hump hard into his face with loud and powerful thrusts. Gagging as he hammers my length too far into the back of his throat, tears steam down his face and he does it again. Rough and forcefully, he makes me fuck his face and he moans the entire time, watching me, as I writhe on top of him. Unable to keep myself from steeping in the intense ecstasy, I let go and moan, allowing the pleasure to shamelessly overtake me.

  Hot come erupts from my prick and I lose myself again, in his hot wet mouth. Wringing me dry, he sets me back onto his chest, and with a ‘pop’ removes my length from his sexy mouth.

  Devilishly smiling, he licks his lips.

  “You taste so good. I hope you let me do that every day.”

  My eyes widen. He wants this to be more than a one-night stand. Now, I’m confused. I thought all Gage wanted was sexual encounters. I hear men say a lot of things in the heat of the moment, but we’re past that now.

  Pushing off his chest with my hands, I stand and pace my room. What is going on here? I’m elated he likes lady. That makes me feel beyond ecstatic, and I like Gage. I mean really like him.

  Shaking my head, bewildered, I see him stand out of the corner of my eye.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, breaking the pregnant silence.

  “I…I thought you just wanted to…you know… I didn’t.” I shrug, chewing my cheek.

  “Didn’t know what?” He’s getting angry, again.

  “That you wanted more. Every day kind of… I mean…” I stop pacing and shrug again, raising my hands palms up, with my shoulders this time.

  “You think I’d take
you to bed like I did last night and not want to do it all the time? Seriously? Do you not know me at all?”

  “I….I…dunno.”

  I don’t want to talk about feelings. Feelings aren’t good to discuss, not when my mind is such a clustered overwhelmed mess.

  “Goddammit Lex, I fucking want you. Not just sex.” He punches the air and growls, “Fuck!”

  I wince as his anger rolls through the room like a wild fog.

  “Do you think I don’t dream about you? That I don’t want to date you? I want that. I want it all, Lex. Please give it to me. I can make you happy.”

  The way he kisses me and touches me, it all feels so right. I can’t deny that. I care for Gage, more than I know I should. What he’s asking for, it is too much… Way, way too much. Men like him will drown me. I won’t be myself anymore. I will fall in love with him. I can already feel it brewing deep inside me, my heart already yearns for him. I can’t go down that slippery slope, no way, no how. I was brave to open my body. I can’t open up the past or the rest of what makes me, me. That’s too painful of a path to venture down. He wouldn’t understand. I’m sure he already has questions about why I have what I have, and not a vagina like he’s used to. The rest is darker, gloomier and more painful than that. He mustn’t know any of it. I can’t speak about it, to no one. Ever!

  Turning away so I don’t have to see his pained expression, I mutter. “I think you should leave.”

  “No.”

  “Gage, please. This isn’t going to work.”

  “Yes it is!”

  I flinch at his outburst.

  Warm arms surround me, pulling my back against his chest. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have yelled.” He kisses my neck.

  Damn him! He’s distracting me.

  “Stop. Please.” I cry, my heart aches too much.

  “No. I’ve been trying to be with you for six years, Lex. Since I was the one who worked on your case with Brian.”

  He’s lying! What a low, painful blow!

  “Get out!”

  “No.” He holds me closer and I start to tremble and helplessly cry in his arms. “I’m not. This is the truth and you’re going to fucking listen, even if I have to hold you down and suck your nipples, until you come a hundred times and you can’t move any longer. You are going to listen. I need to tell you.”

  I nod giving in. Sucking back a sob. I don’t have much choice.

  Gage

  “Six years ago, Biff, the lawyer who worked your case, handed me a file. Your file. I read it. I memorized it. I worked night and days for weeks on that case. I was married, I loved my wife, but you consumed me from page one. I loved you from the first day I got that folder, Lex. I’ve fucking loved you for six years.” I get to the point, I lay it all out with my deep, but gentle voice.

  Turning her around, I stop my story and I wipe her tears. I know this going to be hard to hear, but she deserves to know. Bending forward, I kiss her neck and she whimpers. I know she can’t decide whether to run, fight, or listen. I’m not giving her a choice. I’ve waited long enough.

  Reaching around her backside I unzip the dress and she trembles. Sliding one strap of the dress off her shoulder and then the other, it falls over her breasts and she screeches out a horrified cry. Covering herself with her hands.

  “Let me.” I order and tug the gown to the ground pooling around her feet. Exposing her naked body to me fully. Just like I’ve always remembered her in her pictures. It’s covered in thick pink, ridged scars.

  “Beautiful.” I breathe, soaking in the soft purity in her glorious form. Unbuttoning my pants, I drop them to the floor and kick them to the side. She hasn’t stopped shaking or crying. This is good for her. She needs this. I need this. We need this. I’m doing this for us, or that’s what I’m telling myself. Slowly, I unbutton my white dress shirt and shrug it off my shoulders dropping it onto the floor. Through her tears, I know she’s taking in my body. I’m muscular, I have toned ridged abs, a deep V at my hips, and a dark dusting of hair that runs from my cock to my chest where it fans out. My chest is hard and firm. I have tattoos everywhere, to cover my own scars.

  Lastly, I hook my thumbs into my waistband of my black boxer briefs and drop them to the floor. I’m naked in front of her and she is naked before me. Both of us, playing an emotional game of you show me yours and I’ll show you mine.

  Stealing her shaking hand into my own, I run her cold pointer finger along the rim of my bleeding heart tattoo that’s above where my actual heart lies. My tattoo is old school with a key lock, blood dripping, and it’s a show stopping piece of art. Around the rim of it lies a scar, one of many I’ve gathered over the years. This one being a broken beer bottle carved into my chest from my drunken mother.

  Her eyes widen in surprise as the soft pad of her finger caresses the raised scar. I show her another. A scar that rides low on my abdomen and spans from nearly hip-to-hip. I also received that one from my mother when she hit me in the stomach with a metal shovel for cleaning out the beer bottles from under the seat of her car. Each new scar I allow her to feel and I explain in short detail what they mean. Her crying stops as she starts to willingly explore my naked inked body.

  Once she comes to the tops of my thighs still exploring my front. She sucks in a hissing breath, as her fingers dance and caress dozens of cigarette burns. “I have those too.” She whispers.

  “I know.” I reply, just as quietly, not wanting to break her momentum.

  Sliding her hands down my calves she stops at a chunk of flesh that was pulverized. “Motorcycle accident.” I explain and she nods.

  I turn around. Gliding her hands up the back of my legs she stops right below my smooth firm butt.

  “What do you see?” I whisper.

  “A hot ass.” She giggles and pinches my butt.

  She’s in a better mood already. Good. I knew this would help us. She needs to realize she’s not the only one who’s been beaten and hurt. We’re in this together.

  “Tell me more about your story.” Grabbing my hips as leverage, she stands and that’s when she sees it. I know she does. It’s impossible not to realize it. Especially if it’s like looking in the mirror.

  “Oh my god!” she shrieks and I ready myself for her to bolt but she doesn’t. Her hand touches it. Sensuously, like a feather tracing my back.

  “Is that?”

  “Yes, that’s you.”

  “I’m not that pretty.”

  Boy, oh, boy, is she wrong. Nothing in this world could compare to her beauty.

  “You’re even more so.” I reassure her.

  Lex

  That is me! I am looking at myself. Gage has an entire tattooed back piece of an angel. Her body including scars, face and hair, everything about her is me. Except her wings—those are large and resting outward. She’s so beautiful and angelic, sweet, and impeccably intricate. The angel is nearly naked, her body draped on a silken cloth just over her breasts and privates. A wispy silken banner waves around her body as if it had been windblown. On the thin fabric it says ‘To Love You Is to Receive a Glimpse of Heaven.’

  Then it registers with me, like I was smacked right in the face. “You’re him, aren’t you?”

  “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurtles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

  I gasp.

  The Suit Master!

  Instinctively, I sock him in the back and he grunts. “What’d you do that for?” As he turns around with his cock hard.

  “Does me hitting you, turn you on?” I basically spit acid in his face using my words.

  “No, you being naked does. And look.” He points down at mine and she’s ruining this moment. She’s growing. Why! Why can’t she listen to my brain and not her own!?

  I scowl and toss my hands over my bare chest and he grins. “I am the Suit Master. Yes, I originally used that as way to get into your life. Then Corey kind of ruined my plans and I had to take matters into my own hand
s.”

  “How were you texting me?” I’m now tapping my agitated foot on the floor.

  How dare he do all of this!

  “I have two numbers programed into my phone. With separate texting mailboxes. It was simple. Are you mad?”

  Bunching my fists at my sides. I can’t decide if this is the sexiest and sweetest thing or the fucking dumbest. It’s too flattering to ignore. However, deceiving me, peeves me off big time!

  “I… I…don’t know.”

  Sawing my lip with my teeth, I stare, fixated on nothing and I think. Pondering, deep and hard.

  Gage

  Watching her stare into space all angry with me is hot. I know I should be worried she’s going to go ape shit and never speak to me again, but I’m not though. As sure as I am of my feelings for Lex, I’m just as sure her feels for me are just as real.

  Giving her time to simmer, naked, standing and absolutely stunning, I excuse myself to her bathroom to cool my jets down before looking at her too long breaks my resolve, not to throw her on the bed and ravish the shit outa her.

  Peeing, washing my hands, my face, and examining my naked body in the mirror, I give her some time to adjust. Walking back into the bedroom, she’s now sitting on the bed staring starry-eyed out of her bedroom window.

  “Want to hit me?” I ask, coming to her side.

  Shaking her head, she doesn’t look at me.

  “What do you want then?”

  “I want to know it all. I want to know how six years is possible. How you’re the Suit Master and why you are doing this.”

  I can give her that. Going over to her closet I pull out her robe and carry it over to her draping it over her shoulders, she feeds her arms through the holes and I help tie the front. “I can’t tell you it all if you’re naked. See,” I point to my re-growing erection. Her eyes latch onto it and she turns bright red. I love when she blushes; it’s so cute. “Now, I’m going to slide on my work pants, and we are going to lay in bed, talk, and then I have to get going. I have to pick Emma up from my dad’s.”

  “Okay.” She rolls into the bed, I dress in my pants and it’s time to start this much needed conversation. It’ll be good to finally get this off my chest to the one person I need to express my feelings to.