Holding on to Us

by A. E. Neal

  That was it. I had to have him. And it had to be now.

  I slid down his body until I was face to face with the one thing I wanted more than anything. I gripped the edge of his boxer briefs and shimmed them down his thighs, freeing his glorious cock. He kicked them off and I traced his muscled thighs with my tongue. I reached up and gripped him with one hand as he groaned. I worked the pad of my thumb over his glistening tip and...that's when I felt the metal ring between my fingers.

  "You're pierced?" I asked in awe as I stared at the silver loop at the tip of his penis.

  Deacon chuckled and nodded. In all my time at the tattoo shop, I'd seen and done some pretty crazy piercings, none of which, were what the kids on the street called a 'Prince Albert'. My body thrummed with excitement.

  "I've never seen one...in real life," I admitted.

  "He's gonna get offended if you just keep staring at him like that," he teased.

  And with that, I slowly wrapped my lips around his thickened length. I used the tip of my tongue to caress the jewelry and that seemed to make him even harder. A few more draws along his shaft, I gripped him again with one hand and he growled.

  "I want to feel this...you...inside me," I said softly.

  He smiled widely and I took that as my go-ahead. I slid my thong down my thighs and positioned him at my entrance. I rocked against him gently, covering him with my juices, dripping with anticipation. I moved forward, taking him in and what happened next, would be burnt into my mind for eternity.

  Chapter 16

  Kennedy

  "HE WHAT?!" Ally shouted, loud enough for the entire complex to hear.

  I grabbed her by the arm and dragged her into my room and shut the door, so there was no chance Brody would overhear us. "Jesus, Al. I'm pretty sure the whole world just heard you!" I snapped.

  "Sorry, but, did you say he had his...uh...thing pierced?"

  "Yeah," I said, shrugging.

  "And, what? What did it feel like? Oh my God, Kennedy, you have to tell me!" Her face was lit up like a Christmas tree.

  "It was horrible," I offered and she just stared at me in shock.

  "What? Horrible, how? I thought, um...those things were supposed to be...uh...good."

  "Yeah, me too. I'm pretty sure the damn thing should have a warning label."

  Suddenly, Ally started laughing uncontrollably. "It wasn't what I thought it would be like, at all. It kinda hurt."

  "Kinda?" she choked as the tears rolled down her cheeks. I could tell my best friend wasn't going to be any help.

  "No, not kinda. It fucking hurt like hell, and I think I need to see my gyno. I'm pretty sure there's permanent damage."

  She wiped the tears from her cheeks and took a deep breath. "I-I'm sorry, friend, but I can't help it. You just made my day. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time."

  I didn't know if it was the look on Ally's face or the fact that I'd set my expectations of the piercing so high and was left disappointed, but I started laughing hysterically, along with my best friend. Once I caught my breath, I explained my original fascination with Deacon's piercing and up to the part where I prayed it would stop clawing at the inner walls of my vagina.

  "So, you didn't stop him?"

  "No, I really wanted it to be good. And just my fucking luck, the one time I really, really wanted the rumors about peen piercings to be true. Now, I'm left unsatisfied," I laughed and pulled the ice pack from my bedside table and rested it between my legs. Ally's eyes went wide and we started laughing again.

  "An ice pack? Really, Ken? I think you're being a little overdramatic."

  I was and I knew it. I tossed the ice to the floor and shrugged. Yeah, Ally was getting a kick out of my misery as tears streamed down her face and she held her belly, laughing.

  "So, did you tell him yet?" she asked as she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.

  "No. I don't think I can. How embarrassing would that conversation be? Oh, hey, Deacon, I had a turkey sandwich for lunch today, and by the way, we can't have sex because your penis is like a miniature dagger," I laughed.

  "You should ask him to take it out. I mean, if he really likes you, he'd probably do it. Don't you think?"

  She was right, there was no way any girl in her right mind would let a tiny piercing stand in the way of being with someone she really liked. I knew I needed to talk to him about it, but I had no idea where to even begin.

  "Maybe I'll just spread my legs and let him see what he did to me," I joked.

  Ally snort-laughed and leaned over to give me a hug. "Do you like him? Like, is he someone you could see yourself with in the future?"

  It was a serious question and the answer was right on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't bring myself to actually say the words, so I just shrugged.

  "Well, I think if he means that much to you, you have to tell him."

  "I know," was all I could manage to say, because the truth was, I didn't see myself with him in the future. We were complete opposites on so many levels, but I really enjoyed his company and admired his sweet gestures. He was too perfect for the 'emotionally unavailable' Kennedy Allen.

  I laid back against my headboard and grabbed my phone.

  Deacon was called in to the hospital to cover one of the intern's shift who'd called in sick. He had left mere minutes after we finished, and I hadn't even had a chance to put out the fire burning in my depths of my womanhood before I had to lug the queen-sized mattress up from the basement.

  Me: I'm off today. Can I come meet you for coffee later?

  I stared at the screen for a moment before hitting the 'send' button. I figured it was now or never, no matter what the outcome would be.

  Deacon: Can I take a rain check? Crazy here today.

  Why didn't that surprise me. The one time I finally had enough confidence built up to talk to him, he was busy. Figures.

  Me: Sure. Call me tonight?

  Deacon: OK. Gotta run :)

  That stupid smiley face stared back at me. Mocking me. Ugh.

  Chapter 17

  Zac

  The past few days had been exhausting and I didn't have the heart to break off whatever the hell it was Kirsten and I had going on between us. She was sweet, but immature, clingy and if I had to sleep next to Paolo, the demon dog, one more night, I was going to lose my shit. She invited me over to watch The Notebook— God help me— and halfway through, she looked up at me with her big beautiful puppy-dog eyes and dropped the 'L' bomb. It was one of those moments I wanted to claw at my own ears, just so I could un-hear what she'd said. I brushed it off and she actually apologized, claiming she didn't actually mean it, but my brain screamed, "Bullshit!"

  I was a wreck. Between Kirsten, the band and my sister, I needed a vacation. My life was spiraling into a black hole and I'd lost all control over it.

  I pulled myself out of bed, trying to make as little sound as possible, since Kirsten was still sound asleep. She looked so peaceful, laying there curled up with her cheek squished against the fluffy white pillow. She was gorgeous, but obviously her beauty had come with a price. A hefty price I was now paying, for not keeping my dick in my pants like I should have, the first time she threw herself at me.

  I reached over and tucked one of her loose blonde tendrils behind her ear and kissed her forehead. Maybe it wasn't her fault that she was borderline bipolar and psychotic. Maybe she had a rough childhood...which was a subject we had yet to talk about. Truthfully, we didn't really talk much. Everything with her always involved sex. She couldn't get enough. While I was panting, pleading for one moment of peace and quiet, there she was rubbing her perfect, naked body against me again, begging me to take her.

  Of course, my dick ruled my life and I took care of her, sometimes three or four times a day. That had to be a record in my book, but it wasn't like I'd been keeping track. Kennedy was the only other girl I'd had sex with more than a couple times. I didn't like to be attached to someone and after the third or fourth time, it was always l
ike a light switch turned on and suddenly everything changed...and change wasn't always a good thing.

  I wasn't a relationship expert, either. My longest relationship was in high school and that lasted all of three months. Sure, I was young and pretty dumb, but most of all, I was a walking hard-on. Once I had a taste of how awesome sex was, I figured, why waste it on one girl? Apparently, she had the same idea. I'll tell you one thing I learned the hard way, once you had one cheerleader, you basically signed yourself up to have them all. Thankfully, my reputation didn't follow me to California. But it did turn into another never-ending cycle of beautiful women who would throw themselves at me when they found out I was in a band. And it wasn't like we were even any good, but they didn't seem to care.

  My lack of self-control was what got me in this shitty situation and here I was, sneaking out of my stalker-girlfriend's apartment in the middle of the night.

  Yep, save me a seat on the next train to hell, because that was where I was headed.

  "Where you goin', baby?" Kirsten mumbled as I pulled my jeans on.

  "Go back to sleep. I'll call you later, okay?"

  "Okay, babe, love you," she said sleepily as her eyes closed and she snuggled back underneath the comforter.

  The dreaded 'L' word rang in my ears as I gathered my things and hurried back to my apartment.

  Kennedy

  I stood in the bathroom, staring at the mirror. I'd already fixed my hair three different ways, touched up my make-up and put on a little lipgloss. Deacon asked me to meet his mother for dinner and I was having a mild panic attack. Sure, I could've said no, but the air grew silent between us as he awaited my answer, so I finally said, "I'd love to."

  Granted, I hadn't seen him since the piercing incident, which had become an inside joke between Ally and I, I figured if there was anything I could do to soften the blow I was about to lay on him, I could at least do him a favor by meeting his mom.

  I decided on a modest, light blue and white, polka dot wrap dress and a pair of black, peep-toe Manolo Blahnik pumps. He was picking me up at seven and we were going to meet his mom at Cecile's in Scottsdale, so I decided I'd tone down the everyday Kennedy look.

  At seven o'clock on the dot, the door bell rang and Ally rushed to answer the door. I peeked my head around the corner, just as Deacon stepped inside the townhouse.

  "She's just finishing up, if you wanna wait in the living room," I heard Ally say.

  I closed my door and scampered back to the bathroom. I took a deep breath and said to myself, "It's just dinner, you got this."

  I slipped my pumps on, grabbed my clutch and headed into the living room.

  "Wow, you look amazing," he said as he caught sight of me.

  "Thanks, so do you." He was wearing a dark gray suit with a solid black tie. I rubbed my bare arms, wishing I had grabbed a cardigan or something to cover my tattoos. "Although, I feel a little underdressed," I added, frowning.

  "Stop fidgeting. You look beautiful," he said sweetly as he gave me a quick kiss and I fussed, telling him I didn't want to mess up my make-up. He shrugged. "Are you ready to go?"

  Things already felt distant between us, but maybe it was just me. Yeah, it most definitely had to be me.

  "I'll be home late," I called to Ally who was in the kitchen making spaghetti.

  "Have fun, I won't wait up," she teased.

  As always, Deacon was a true gentleman. Opening car doors, tipping the valet once we got to the restaurant, and offering his suit jacket to me when I stepped out of the car into the cool night air.

  "No, I'm okay. I'll be fine once we're inside," I said and offered him a weak smile. It wasn't freezing, by any means, I was just nervous as hell. I tried to clear my mind, but all I could do was think of the last time I'd met the parents of a guy I was dating. A knot formed in my belly as we walked hand in hand through the smoky glass doors of Cecile's.

  "Good evening, sir...madam," the maître'd said and I smiled.

  "Reservation for three, under Russo," Deacon offered and the man nodded.

  "Of course, Mr. Russo, your mother is already here. Right this way."

  I took Deacon's arm and we followed the short, plump man to a table in the back of the restaurant. The smell of roasted garlic and wine filled the air as we walked. My mouth watered and I realized I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.

  A woman, who looked to be in her mid-forties, smiled as we stopped at the edge of the secluded booth. She ushered us closer and rose from her seat. She had dark hair, like Deacon's, beautiful amber colored eyes and as she held her hand out in greeting, I caught a glimpse of the biggest diamond ring I'd ever seen.

  "Mrs. Russo, it's so nice to finally meet you," I said as I shook her hand lightly.

  "And you, as well. Although, my boy, here, didn't mention he had a girlfriend until yesterday," she said as she poked a finger into Deacon's chest. There was either jealousy or pure hatred behind her words, but I just smiled and Deacon tightened his grip around my waist.

  "Mother, behave," he scolded.

  "Right. I'm sorry. Please, won't you join me for dinner," she said flatly. She was trying to be nice, but it was like the woman just oozed disgust toward me. This was going to be fun, I thought.

  I took a seat next to Deacon and he immediately placed his hand on my thigh, squeezing gently as if he was letting me know it would be okay.

  "Kennedy, huh? That's an interesting name," she said.

  I smiled. "Yes, my parents were big fans of the President," I lied.

  "Ah. I see."

  Thankfully, our waiter interrupted before she could really sink her claws into me.

  Mommy Dearest ordered us a bottle of vintage Italian red wine, which after peeking at the wine list, I almost choked on my water when I discovered it cost three hundred dollars a bottle.

  Deacon had to translate the full Italian menu for me and I ended up ordering something similar to chicken marsala, called Pollo Brasato.

  "I didn't know you spoke Italian," I whispered as the words rolled off his tongue like it was his native language.

  "We used to spend our summers in Tuscany," he offered.

  I thought maybe I could somehow overlook his piercing, since he was beginning to amaze me more and more with each passing moment. But as I clenched my thighs together, I was quickly reminded of the damage the little ring had done.

  "Oh! That reminds me, Deacon. I ran into Isabelle at the spa last week. She says she hasn't heard from you in a few weeks. What happened between you two, anyway? You always did make such a lovely couple." She had said it so matter-of-factly that I shot Deacon a wary glance, begging him to explain.

  "Mother, you know Isabelle and I broke up, she's with that lawyer, now. There's no reason to bring up the past in front of my girlfriend."

  "Right, of course. I forgot. What was his name again?" she asked, taking a sip of her wine. "It doesn't matter really, now does it?"

  I picked up my glass by its fragile stem and gulped the entire thing.

  "Mrs. Russo, Deacon tells me your husband is doing much better with his new treatments," I said. I desperately needed to change the conversation and I prayed she would take the bait.

  "Yes, well, I'm happy my son has shared our family business with you. Thank you for your concern, but it's not necessary."

  "I apologize for overstepping my boundaries, I only—"

  She held her hand up to silence me and I'd about had enough of her, but I promised Deacon I would be there for him. Even if she was a life-sucking bitch.

  "Will you excuse me for a moment," she said as she waved to an older gentleman at another table. "I see one of your father's associates. It's best if I go say hello."

  "By all means," I said out loud, but thankfully, not loud enough for her to hear.

  She sashayed across the dimly lit restaurant and gave the man a light kiss on the cheek.

  "I'm sorry about my mom, she's just going through a rough time, right now. With my dad being in sick and trying to run
the company herself. She's under a lot of stress."

  "You don't have to explain. I know she doesn't like me, I'm not stupid."

  He took my hand in his and pulled it to his lips. "It just takes her a while to warm up to new people. There's no reason for her to act like this towards you. I'm truly sorry, Kennedy." And with that, Deacon slid out of the booth. The waiter had returned to fill our glasses again and I was thankful the wine was finally beginning to give me a buzz.

  Deacon and his mother returned to our table a few minutes later. "I apologize, dear. I suppose I was out of line earlier."

  She supposed? Good grief. What a joke.

  Our food arrived shortly after, and the three of us ate in awkward silence. By the time the waiter had returned to offer us dessert, I was stuffed, on edge and a little drunk.

  "Deacon, why don't you come by the office tomorrow. I know Mr. Davis would like to see you. He said he's tried reaching you on several occasions, but you haven't returned any of his calls."

  He turned to me as if he owed me an explanation. "Mr. Davis works for my father's firm and they've offered me a job."

  "What kind of job?" I asked out of curiosity.

  "Sales. I'd be in charge of the entire sales team from here to Seattle."

  "Wow, that sounds like an amazing offer," I said.

  "It really is. I think you've had your fun playing doctor, you should really consider it," his mother said.

  "I like my line of work, Mom. And as soon as Dad is well again, I can go back to school. I was even thinking of transferring to Arizona State, full time."

  She rolled her eyes and finished her glass of wine. "Well, I think I've heard enough for one night." She rose from the table, took a wad of cash from her wallet and tossed it on the table. "It was nice meeting you, Kennedy."

  I would have said the same, but she was gone before I could even open my mouth.

  I glanced over at Deacon, his cheeks were flushed and his fists were balled at his side. "You okay?" I asked.