Losing Her (The Lexington Series Book 1)

by Belle Winters

  At that I rolled my shoulders back and walked towards them. Seeing as there’s four of us I suggested the table it just made more sense. Without a word Landon got up from his seat and went to the table. Once again Max took up the seat next to him. I turned around to get the other plates and Nick was right behind me holding them. I jumped a little startled at his close proximity. He gave me that cocky smile and set the two plates down across from Landon and Max. I walked around him and made my way to the fridge for drinks. I made lemonade so I grabbed the whole pitcher and some cups. I dropped everything in the middle of the table and took my seat. Nick took the seat across from Landon, which left me in the seat to his left across from Max.

  Dinner was going well. I stayed mostly quiet while the boys spoke. Of course Landon polished off his food quickly as did Nick. They both got up out of their seats and went to refill without a word. When we were all slowing down and almost done, Nick’s leg tapped mine. I looked up at him with the question on my face. He flashed me a grin and nodded to my cup, “babe, you want some more juice?”

  My throat got dry. Did he just call me babe? What is going on here? I couldn’t speak but now I couldn’t refuse because I really needed a drink and I couldn’t talk. I nodded my head slowly. He shifted his body so he was angled facing me and slide his left arm along the back of my seat. He reached for the pitcher and leaned over me to refill my cup. His hair and neck were so close to my mouth I closed my eyes and inhaled. Holy Batman. He smells amazing. His cologne should be lethal. I mean hell I don’t think I have ever been this close to a guy but once. Kenneth my only boyfriend was never even this close and he sure as hell didn’t smell like that.

  I heard a throat clearing and I realized I was still in la-la land thinking of the way he smelled with my eyes closed. Great. Can the floor just open up and swallow me whole? This has got to be in my top 5 most embarrassing moments, and looking back at my life that’s saying a lot. I was almost afraid to open them. I could literally feel his threatening gaze trying to sear me. When I did, my eyes immediately locked on Landon’s. Jesus H Christ. He’s angry. His body is rigid and his hands are on either side of his plate balled up in fists. When he met my eyes his nostrils flared, and I could see the tick in his clenched jaw. Alright, it’s time for me to beat a hasty exit. It doesn’t look like there’s any chance of him holding back. I quickly grabbed my plate and washed it. I spun on my heels headed straight for Max, making sure I avoid any eye contact with either Nick or Landon. I gave him a huge hug, whispered goodnight then gave him kiss on the forehead and quick hair ruffle.

  I picked up my pace, and had every intention of making a run for it as soon as I was out of eyesight. I heard a chair scrape back behind me before I was in the clear. Oh no. I had every hope that it was Max, but deep down I knew it wasn’t. If I wasn’t totally sure, the heavy footsteps behind me sure cleared that up. I tried to pick up the pace but knew it was no use. “Lucy.” One word, just one and my anxiety sky rocketed. Landon never pulled his punches. I thought of everything he could possibly do to me at this moment and took off. I don’t care how big of a coward I was but I just didn’t want this to happen. Not today, and our parents not coming home. God I was halfway up the stairs and I heard him following me. Oh no, is he going to push me down the stairs. The fear was climbing up my throat threatening to consume me. God this is so sad.

  I cleared the top of the stairs, and was able to let go of a bit of tension. That seemed like the worst would be to go flying down all those stairs. I cringed. I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn’t realize he gained on me. I was twisting down the knob of my room ready to slip in and lock it before he caught up but I was too late. The door swung open and he grabbed my arm. He pushed me into the room and kicked the door shut surprisingly soft for the venomous glare he was directing my way. He grabbed both of my shoulders and pressed me against the wall. He continued to glare at me and I tried to escape through the wall. His breathing became heavier and more ragged and I felt his fingers tighten where he was holding my shoulders.

  I took a shaky breath. God I was so scared. He was so angry. He had closed the door behind us, and I’m afraid of what’s going to come next. He pinched his eyebrows together and took a step closer to me. “Lucy.” There it was that one word again and it held so much promise. Of what? I’m not sure I want to find out. He cocked his head to the side and inched just a bit more closer so he was fully invading my space. All the air in the room evaporated. My heart was beating so fast, and for once it didn’t feel like fear. This felt like something completely different. Totally foreign. I can smell Landon, we’ve only been this close one time before. I remembered his scent as one of the best, but my memory didn’t do it justice. Nick smelled like expensive cologne mixed with fresh air. Landon, he smelled like soap and sunshine, and what I can only expect is just… him. It made me light headed and weary all at once. “Lucy. Do you like Nick?”

  Lucy, do you like Nick. Is he serious? I have a lot more sense than to fall for his future partner in crime. No I do not like Nick, I still haven’t figured out his angle and why he was being nice. I stared right back at Landon, but didn’t say a word. His hands flexed where they were holding me. I gulped and instead of answering him, I asked the question that has been nagging me. I had to know, I needed to just get it out there. “Landon… what are you going to do to me?” my voice came out on a shaky whisper. His eyes turned to slits and his hands left my shoulders. He didn’t move back from where he was standing but his hands weren’t on me anymore.

  He gritted his teeth and I can see his patience waning. “It depends. Lucy, it depends on the answer to my question.” He paused for a beat and brought his arms up and placed his palms against the wall on either side of head caging me in. “Do. You. Fucking like Nick? I’m not going to repeat myself again girl.” I wanted to shrink into a corner but I couldn’t let go of his stare. I had to answer; he’s not giving me a choice.

  “No” I said so softly I’m not sure he heard it. He held my stare for what felt like hours but could have only been a few seconds. He dropped his arms and took a few steps back putting much needed space in between us.

  He sighed and dropped his head. I can see the tension slowly draining from him. When he looked back at me I saw it. The asshole I know him to be was there, and I wasn’t getting off easy. “Good, because you didn’t have a chance. My cousin doesn’t like ugly bitches, and I’ve already informed him you probably have a few STD’s so he knows you’re not even worth a good fuck. Think of this as me giving you a gift. This way you don’t continue to embarrass yourself by drooling on him.” I tried to keep my face impassive; I don’t want him to see the hurt. Once they see it, it’s almost like an invitation to continue. But this time, he didn’t stop either way. “And you have a hole in your shirt. You look homeless. Your mom is always fucking shopping spending my dad’s money. Tell her to fucking get you something decent at least. You went outside with my brother today, that’s fucking embarrassing for him.” With that last dig he walked out of the room. My back was still plastered to the wall so I slid down and hugged my knees to my chest. I couldn’t control it anymore and I let the tears roll. I don’t know why I’m so fucking weak.

  The next day, our parents arrived earlier than I anticipated which I was happy for. Landon and Nick also headed out shortly after. Apparently Nick also plays football and is looking to get a spot on the team, so he needed to meet with the coach. Fine by me.

  By lunch time on Monday the school was already buzzing with the arrival of Landon’s hot cousin. Whatever, I ignored it like I usually do. Mel was already waiting for me by my locker when it was time for lunch. As I approached her, she looked up from her phone then pocketed it. With a smile she reached out to me for a hug, “hey girly.”

  “Hey Mel.” I gave her a smile as I moved back. “French is totally kicking my ass. Who the hell invented it anyway?”

  Mel let out a light laugh as we stored our stuff in my locker. We headed to the café and I held m
y breath. I had no idea what was waiting for me. I hadn’t interacted with Nick since that first day, and I’m not sure if I have a second tormentor as bad as the first. We grabbed lunch and sat out our usual table. I took a glance over at Landon’s usual table under my eyelashes. Neither of them was there. Call me lucky today.

  I was able to avoid them for the remaining of the week, opting to have my lunch in the art room. Mel knows that this is my refuge when I’m trying to get a break from these assholes, so there’s no question or judgment, which is why I love her. It was Thursday at lunch when she finally asked what I’m sure she’s been thinking about all week.

  “So… I’m sure you know that Landon’s cousin started going to school here.” She paused meeting my eyes. She seemed nervous, like she was afraid of my reaction. I gave her a brief nod so she continues, “Are we eating here because he’s here and bothering you too?”

  “No. he hasn’t done anything to me. I haven’t really seen him actually. I guess that’s a good thing.” Mel diverted her eyes from mine for a few. She opened her mouth to speak then hesitated. When she did this twice, my eye twitched. Uh-oh. I didn’t like this. She had to tell me something I might not like. I tensed, but needed to know. “Out with it woman, what is it? Just tell me.”

  Mel let out a long sigh but continued, “Well… I kind of like him. And I was hoping you know, that you would be ok with it if I were to you, show interest in him.”

  I was taken back. That was not at all what I was expecting. I didn’t want her to like him. Of course not, he was the beast’s family. But I couldn’t say no that would be a shitty thing to do. She’s been my friend and stayed by my side supporting me all this time. I had to do the same for her. If that would make her happy then who am I to stand in her way? At that I gave a soft smile and told her, “go for it. I’ll support you.”

  She studied my face and I guess when she saw the sincerity in my words she sighed in relief then hugged me while she let out a squeal. “oh my god. Thank you Luce. He is so hot. I would never do anything to hurt you, but this is like my first major crush. I mean seriously…” she seemed to get lost in her thoughts for a second then her eyebrows furrowed. She began biting on her lip and I can tell she was thinking over something hard. I gave her a raised eyebrow, as if to say tell me already and then she spilled. “Well it’s just ok I like him and you said you’re ok with it. but that was only one of the hard parts. The other is I mean; well I’m no Delilah or anything. I don’t even know if he’s going to like me back, you know? I don’t have much experience here except the few guys I dated but they weren’t even in his league. God. Am I in over my head? You know like setting myself up for failure. Should I just admire him from a distance?” she let out a long deep breath after her spiel and I mused over her questions. I looked at my friend. She had beautiful red hair, grey eyes, fair skin. Her body was toned and nice. She had a nice size chest and some curves. She was gorgeous.

  “Honey, if he doesn’t like you he’s an idiot. You know that I believe you are amazing. And I’m grateful you’re nothing like those sluts. You’re better, so much better.” My friend sniffled and gave me a tight hug.

  “Love you Luce”

  “Love you too Mel” With that we finished up lunch with idle chit chat.

  The next day, the art room was being occupied by kids working on a big project. That left us going to the cafeteria. We grabbed some pizzas and grabbed a seat at our normal table. Mel was telling me about an English paper she needs to finish tonight when I saw someone standing behind her. My breath caught in my throat when I realized it was Nick, with a lunch tray. When I met his eyes he gave me that cocky smile of his and a head nod. Mel noticed I was no longer paying attention and turned to see what I was looking at. She turned back to face me and gave me an inquisitive stare. She was just as confused as I was of his presence. He strolled over to my side of the table dropped his tray and took the seat next to me.

  GAH! I looked around and noticed people were staring and whispering. What is going on? What is he doing? Jesus I’ve lost my appetite. Nick turned to lounge back in his chair and spread out his legs getting comfortable. Are you kidding me, he’s staying? He moved his arm over the back of my chair. Mel looked frozen in shock, mouth hanging open staring at him. She was just as surprised by these turn of events as everyone else. Her gaze became weary as I’m sure she was thinking the same as me. This is some cruel joke waiting to happen.

  “Nick,” he says to Mel. He pointed a finger at me from the hand around my shoulder and said, “this is Lucy.” Then he turned the finger around to her, raised an eyebrow and said, “who are you?”

  Mel snapped her mouth shut and stared for a few seconds. She didn’t respond. So I did the only thing I could in this situation, “My best friend Mel.” I could feel Landon burning a hole in the side of my face with his stare but I refused to meet it. If I do the fear might take over. I turned my head towards Nick and spoke while I still had the nerve. “What are you doing here? Did he send you over here?”

  His eyebrows shot up to his forehead. He glanced over my head in the direction his cousin normally sits, then looked back down at me. His face was twisted with confusion. “Am I missing something here? I saw you so I decided to sit here with you. I haven’t really spoken to you since – “

  Oh no, I’m not ready for my secret to come out. Especially not now that I know Mel likes him and I still haven’t told her I’m sort of living with the boy. Before he can get the rest out I cut him off, “Monday morning, I know. Sorry about that by the way. Didn’t mean to bump into you.” I picked up my pizza and took a bite. I couldn’t stand to look at Mel right now. I’m afraid the guilt is written all over my face.

  Nick grunted, and I peeked up at him. He seemed totally flustered not understanding what’s going on. I’m beginning to wonder if Landon had told him about how much he hates me. At least from what he said he told Nick, it could be implied. He sure doesn’t act like he knows or is in on it though. Fucking curiosity, when will you stop? “Your cousin didn’t tell you how much he hates me?”

  His head reared back at that statement. “He… what?”

  Mel piped up at that. “Well yea, he’s been making her life hell the past few years. Him and all of his friends over there. So tell the truth, why are you over here. What are you up to?”

  He threw his hands up in defense. “Whoa, I just wanted to sit here honest. I didn’t know anything about this.” He swung his gaze to me, “what have they done to you?” I don’t know why, but this question triggered a memory from last year.

  I went to the bathroom during class, and the hallways were empty. I just walked out of the restroom and was on my way back when someone grabbed my arm. I turned around to see Landon. He had a grip on my arm and was giving me an evil scowl. Earlier that day, his friend Jared had used one of his lame slut jokes and I was having a shitty day.

  “Hey Lucy… I have $5. Can I have the whore special?”

  I was not in the mood for this shit right now. I don’t know what came over me, but I straightened my back and met his gaze, “and what does the special include?”

  Jared’s grin dimmed some, not used to me responding. Then it brightened, I think he might have actually thought I was going to take his offer. Idiot. “A good fuck and a blow job. We can go into the janitor’s closet now. How about it?”

  I looked down at the watch I didn’t have and said, “I have a test in a few minutes, and while I’m sure that will be more than enough time for you – I don’t do little dicks.” And spun on my heels. I heard some laughter behind me and it felt great that it wasn’t at my expense. Standing up for myself gave me a heady feeling.

  When Landon pulled me into the janitor’s closet I panicked. It was pitch black in there, and I couldn’t see anything. He pushed me roughly against a wall and held my hands above my head with one of his hands. I was only aware of the contact of our hands, his heavy breathing, and the fear. “You wanted to get fucked in a janitor’s closet huh? You�
��d do it for $5?” oh god, please don’t try to hurt me. I couldn’t even see to try to defend myself. “Huh?” he whispered. I felt his breath on my ear so I know he’s much closer than I thought.

  I stuttered, “n… no. I don’t want that.”

  He pushed his body up against me and I could feel his whole upper body plastered against me. He pushed his pelvis against me and I could feel the press of something against his zipper. I gasped as fear racked my body. “Be careful what you ask for…” his hand landed on my waist then trailed up to ribs and stayed there. He grinded himself against me. “This is what you want Lucy?” for a moment I wanted to say yes. I’ve never experienced this before and even though I should feel violated I wanted more. His scent filtered into my nose and I became lightheaded. What was happening? Then the bubble popped on his next statement, “I knew you were a whore Lucy. You going to do what whores do, or is that only for Jared?”

  I tugged on my wrist as tears pricked my eyes. What was I thinking being even a little attracted to him? He tightened his grip on my hands and ribs, and grinded against me again. “Landon, no I don’t want anything from anyone. Please let me go. I won’t say anything again, I promise.” He eased his body back off of me but held his hands where they were. I could still hear his heavy breathing. I think I heard him mutter ‘fuck’ but I can’t be sure. He released me and was out the door before I comprehend what just happened.

  I was still in that closet in my head when I felt someone squeeze my shoulder. The memory faded away and I was bought back to the present.

  “Lucy, where did you go?” Nick asked when I met his gaze, his eyes searched mine then he sighed. “Mel was just giving me a high level summary of what all this is about. The interrogation I mean, but I didn’t have a clue. I haven’t seen you around or anyone speak to you…” it’s like he summoned the ridicule.