Losing Her (The Lexington Series Book 1)

by Belle Winters

  Molly sauntered up to our table and stood on the side next to me. She placed both palms on the table and leaned over giving Nick her best come hither look. She’s one of Delilah’s closest friends, and quite frankly a major pain in my ass. Nick didn’t even glance her way. Her eyes swung from his arm around me to Mel then to my face and her expression took on disgust. She turned her attention back to Nick and put on a seductive smile. “Say Nick, why aren’t you sitting with us today? We, I mean I have missed you over there.”

  He glanced up and met her eyes for a second before he refocused on his lunch tray. “Didn’t want to.” He replied with a shrug. With that he cut off a piece of chicken and ate it. He grimaced at it then reached over and grabbed my soda taking a healthy swig. He looked at Mel’s plate that was empty then mine with longing before he commented, “that was gross. Mel you didn’t get me a slice?” he pouted then turned his attention to me. He gave me his cocky smirk pulled my chair closer. “So Lucy, I’m new here and I need a best friend ya know?”

  I couldn’t help it I laughed. I don’t know when the last time someone besides Max or Mel made this come out, but he’s done it. He’s playing the best friend card for my pizza. I can see the drool formulating over it. I don’t know what came over me but I picked it up and took a bite nodding my head at him. His eyes never left the pizza. I laughed harder. Mel was watching also and was cracking up herself. I already know the boy eats like three full grown men.

  We all seemed to have forgotten Molly’s presence. She cleared her throat, “So I heard you made the football team. I’m a cheerleader so you know we sometimes practice at the same time. I can’t wait to see what you’ve got.” He glanced up and she winked. His shoulder lifted in a barely there shrug and he watched my pizza. She was pissed, and she glared at me. “You know, it’s quite cute how you’ve taken on charity. But word is you never know what you might get sleeping with this whore. She’s known to have more diseases than a little, trust me. Just ask your cousin. I’d be careful.”

  My head dropped. And there it went. My moment of being an actual teenager at school was only that. I couldn’t look at anyone. I don’t want them to see the hurt or worse the defeat. Because I’m such a pussy and never defend myself. I was getting ready to get up and leave when the arm around me tightened. I looked up at Nick and he had a scowl on his face and his eyes had darkened. But this venomous look wasn’t directed at me – it was at Molly. Holy Shit. Hell has officially frozen over. This just does not happen. “Really Manny?” she flinched, he got her name wrong. He snatched my pizza and took a humongous bite. “Well, I guess you should keep your distance from me. I’ve already eaten and drank off of her. And I’m touching her. Pretty sure I’ve got it too.” He waggles his eyebrows at me and then pulls his cocky smirk then turns it to me. “Hey Lucy,” he swung his gaze over to Mel, “and Mel… guess what?”

  Mel was grinning from ear to ear. He was defending me. I think she just swooned, and I feel like I should be too but I’m not. “Yes Nick?” she replied sweetly. She was eating this up. If she liked the boy before she’s probably falling in love with him now. I can see the admiration in her eyes, and I know it must also be in mine.

  “I’m on the football team now. And, you have got to come to my first game next week and watch me play. I can’t wait for you to see what I’ve got. Maybe you can take some charity on me and bring me a celebratory pizza.” He eyed the rest of my pizza again and I raised an eyebrow. He groaned then gave me the saddest look a boy his age could muster and I couldn’t resist laughing again. I raised an eyebrow at him to get it out. “Lucy, I neeeeeed you” he pleaded. Me and Mel were laughing more than I think we’ve ever had at school. He sighed deeply and eyed my pizza. Then he said, “ok, ok we can share. You can’t do this to me.”

  We continued giggling at his suffering. “What’s so funny?” I groaned. I knew that voice and it wasn’t anything good. I could hear the anger. But before we could answer Molly beat us to it.

  She swung around with her hands on her hips and whined to Landon, “Oh Landon. Good thing you came over. I know Nick is new and all, but I was trying to warn him about hanging at this table. You never know what you’re going to get.” She turned back over to face us and you can see the victory shining off her.

  Nick stared straight at Landon, lifted both eyebrows and said, “yea, I’ve learned quite a bit today. Manny was just asking to jump my bones, and I told her not a chance. That about sum it up for you?” At that he redirected his gaze to my tray and it was almost as if that was the last straw. He snatched up my pizza took a bite and moaned rubbing his stomach. Even with Landon there I couldn’t help but snicker at his theatrics. He took another bite then leaned close to me and raised the pizza towards my mouth. When I kept giggling he started waving it, “last chance ‘cause I won’t think twice about not sharing.” Without thinking I bit the pizza he was feeding me. I heard a growl, like a real life to god growl from Landon.

  Nick must’ve heard it too because his eyes snapped up. I knew he was looking at Landon and a frown took over his features but he didn’t comment. Instead he turned his attention back to me and then to Mel and said, “so what do ya girls say? You going to come cheer me on then fulfill all my personal needs with pepperoni pizza? Say yes, Mel come on.” His head swung back my way, “fine, I’ll let you wear the short skirts and pom pom’s too. You don’t have to twist my arm about it god.”

  Mel was the first to cave. She gave me a pointed look and I sighed before agreeing too. “Fine, we’ll come.”

  Nick gave a bright smile and the bell rang. “So ladies, don’t forget short skirts, pom pom’s, and pizza. Oh and you can only cheer for me, I need you screaming my name.” He’s saying all this as he’s walking out of the cafeteria backwards with all 3 of our trays in his hand. He’s making a spectacle because the further he gets the louder he talks and he’s moving pretty fast. By the time he’s done I take a glance around and notice most of the school is staring at us. I can feel the blush taking over my face, and I know I’ll be red as a tomato soon if we don’t get away from all this attention.

  We get out of there as fast as we could, and I barely catch a glimpse of Molly and Landon, who thanks to Nick we forgot about their presence again, are still standing in the same spots fuming. When we clear the doors to the café Mel and I looked at each other than bust out laughing.

  “Oh my fucking god Luce. That was awesome, he totally handed her her ass. That was so HOT! He totally stood up for you even to Landon. By the way, Landon looked ready to commit murder. You think it’s because he feels betrayed by Nick?” I honestly wasn’t sure; they didn’t really have it out or anything but there was definitely tension. I guess it was apparent to everyone. I shrugged because it didn’t make total sense, right? Why would he even betray his cousin that he’s so close with for me? She took my response for what it was and continued, “anyway serves him right. And finally! I get to drag you out and do something normal. With an actual invitation from Nick to attend you have to totally go and show these bitches up.”

  We made it to my locker and that last statement punched me in the gut. I don’t want to show anyone up. That just makes things worst. I need to stay invisible. Why did I agree to go. Panic was starting to take over, this wouldn’t end well. I couldn’t even count on him to defend me or not turn on me. I felt sick. Mel grabbed my shoulders and made me look into her face. “I can see the wheels turning in your head but stop. These people have bullied you for too fucking long, and have taken too much from you. I know you’re strong. The shit you deal with your mom. She could fucking bulldoze you but you don’t let her. You hold your own. I know this seems different because there may be more of them or for some reason you think they’re a bigger threat but they aren’t. Half of them are pussies and only do it because you don’t fight back and they know they’ll get away with it. I’m telling you this because I’m sick of it! I want to retaliate on people all the time but I don’t because I don’t want anything worse for you
. Just know this is the first step to getting what you want out of these years. And I have your fucking back.” She pulled me into a hug.

  I let her words ping pong through my head for the rest of the day weighing the pros and cons. This is what I do, think everything through and choose the safest option. Think of all the bad shit that could happen to me and cower in fear. When I went to my locker at the end of the day to put my stuff away I found a note tucked in: Stay the fuck away from Nick or we will beat your ass hoe. What? All the blood drained from my face. In all these years, they’ve done some cruel shit to me, even crazy gluing me to a seat. Yea they’ve bumped me, pulled my hair. But never actually beat me up or punch me. Just talking to Nick has made this even worse. My head thumped against the locker and I let the fear take hold. It’s what I know. I began to think of all the opportunities and places they would have to carry this out.

  I felt a hand on my shoulder and spun around to find Mel with a concerned look on her face. She scanned me and then noticed the paper I was clutching in my fist. She snatched it from me and read it. I saw the transformation instantly, the anger consumed all of her features and I’ve never seen her look so scary. She crumpled up the paper and looked me in the eyes as she muttered, “over my dead body. Those bitches!” she swiped a hand over her face then watched me for a beat. “Lucy, think about what I told you earlier. Nothing is going to stop them. It’s not about Nick or Landon. It’s about you. They can only do what you let them.” I nodded but I didn’t have it in me to believe her. I let her guide me to the parking lot and tuck me into my car. After a brief wave and goodbyes I drove home.

  CHAPTER 4

  Shortly after I got home Dean left. I was sitting in the living room with Max, watching Blaze and helping him with his homework when I heard the door. Nick sauntered into the room – alone. That was weird. He and Landon rode to school and home together. Their schedules were basically the same with football and everything, and Nick hadn’t gotten around to getting his own ride.

  “Hey Lucy, Max.” he greeted. He sat down on the couch on my side that was unoccupied.

  Max gave Nick a hug then went back to his writing practices. I turned to Nick, “hey, skipping football practice already huh?”

  He gave me a soft chuckle. “Nah, no practice today. Landon went over to Delilah’s afterschool so I took the car.” My chest tightened. He was with one of the bitches that threatened me today. When Max finished up his homework, he and Nick continued to watch cartoons and I got up to whip something up to satisfy my hunger. I only had those few bites of pizza today. As I was cooking I heard someone come up behind me and I automatically tensed.

  “Hey relax Lucy, it’s just me. I smelled all this good stuff, and I came to be nosey. Whatcha got going on over there?” I can feel his heat pouring off of him onto my back. I stirred the soup some more and I felt his hands fall and rest on my hips. He moved in closer and I could feel his chest against my back. His head peeked over my shoulder and down into the pot I was stirring. I heard his stomach growl and I let out a laugh.

  He backed up a bit and used his hands on my hips to turn me around to face him. He had an amused smile on his face with his eyebrow arched. “And, what is so funny miss?”

  I couldn’t help but smile back. “Are you always hungry? Your stomach seems to have a mind of its own. Sounded pretty viscous actually, you might want to put a leash on that thing.”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “I’m a growing boy. It’s your job to keep me fed woman.” He moved in closer to me. His stomach growled again, this time louder. There was no missing it. I broke out into a fit of laughter and he joined me.

  “Well if it isn’t the big happy family.” My head snapped up at the sound of Landon’s voice. He was looking back and forth between us. I turned my head towards Nick and took in the scene. I had my hands on his chest which must’ve happened while laughing. Both his hands were on my waist and we were pretty close. I realized now how this must look. It’s awfully intimate. When I tensed Nick’s gaze bore down on me. He held me tighter and pulled me closer to him until I was flush against him.

  “Yea, I would think so. Right Lucy?” my throat was drier than the Sahara. What the fuck is happening these days.

  I let out a small forced laugh and pointed my thumb towards the stove. “Need to check the food. Think it’s done.”

  After confirming the food was ready to serve I called Max in. He ran into the room jumped into Landon’s arms in greeting who returned the gesture. When he placed Max down I swallowed and watched him nervously. For Max’s sake I will not exclude him. I’ve noticed Max gets pleasure out of these family dinners where really me and Landon are the constant. I’m starting to realize by their relationship that this may not be typical behavior for their father and it probably just usually is just the two of them here all the time kind of like now. Just with me and now Nick here too, but still no adults.

  I asked him tentatively, “are you eating? I made chicken soup.” He stared at me for a long while before answering.

  “No. my woman already fed me.” With that he turned on his heels and disappeared. Me, Nick, and Max ate dinner and I cleaned up. I put the leftovers away and headed to my room. I think Max missed Landon at dinner and earlier while we were hanging and wanted some alone time with him. I let him go. I had things to think about.

  I woke up and saw that it was 12:30 in the morning. I think I passed out as soon as I hit the bed and that was pretty early. I was wide awake now and decided on a snack. I went downstairs and was about to turn the corner into the kitchen when I heard someone there. I tiptoed my way to the kitchen to get a better idea of if I wanted to enter or not. I saw Landon sitting at the breakfast bar with a large bowl eating. He had on basketball shorts and nothing else. My eyes traced his broad shoulders going to his trim waist. When I realized I was ogling him I stepped in and went straight to the fridge avoiding eye contact.

  As I was moving around the kitchen I caught the faint smell of soup. So that’s what he was doing. I wouldn’t acknowledge that I knew.

  I was startled when he spoke. It was almost a whisper, “Lucy, why do you cook for us?”

  I looked at him then. I didn’t get the question. I mean we needed to eat, Max needed to eat. “I’m not sure I understand.”

  He sighed and then ran his hands through his hair. He took a mouthful of soup then began, “why do you cook for us? No one’s cooked here since Erica, and she didn’t know how to make much. I’ve told you I don’t want you here and I have to say I really fucking hate your mom. You know I don’t like you, but you feed us. It’s not like you have to. I mean we can afford to buy food. Max and I… I mean when it’s just us that’s what we always have to do because I’m shit in the kitchen and I have to feed him. But he comes to you and you make him whatever he wants. You don’t have to cook for him let alone anyone else. Why?” his gaze never wavered throughout this entire spiel. I’m shocked. I mean I don’t think he’s ever said so much to me without it being a verbal attack. Although he did insult me and said he hated my mother that much isn’t new. I knew he hated her before he met her.

  “For Max.” was all I could say. When he continued to stare looking for me to say more I sighed, “that first time I made food for him, he asked me to make your favorite. It means something to him. You mean a lot to him. I know that and I see it. Regardless of any feelings between you hating me, you hating her, me hating her, he’s the innocent here. I can’t speak for your dad as he’s been pretty much nonexistent here. Max doesn’t do relationships and I’m not particularly sure why, but for some reason he likes me. He opened up to me, and he’s an incredible boy. Knowing that he values his relationships with us, I wouldn’t jeopardize it. He enjoys our dinners and breakfasts and I won’t take that away. I’m sure that you can afford to buy food, but why would I cook and not make enough for everyone? We don’t like each other or speak to each other fine. But having us all there makes him happy. You can see it in his eyes and the way he chatter
s away or even waits for us all to be sitting to eat. To him we’re his family. And whatever you and your minions do and say to me, he doesn’t deserve that to be taken out on him.”

  At some point my hands flew to my hips and I took a defiant stance. I realized that for Max, I can stand up and have a backbone. He’s worth the fight. “You love Max don’t you?” it was more of a statement that a question.

  “Listen, I know he’s your brother and if it is effecting or will affect your relationship I will stop cooking and things. I love him I do, but he needs you more than he’ll ever need me. Just tell me.” I snapped at the end, because although I believe what I’m saying I don’t want to cave to this.

  He doesn’t answer and his head drops down. I take that as a silent yes. My shoulders drop and my heart hurts just thinking of the loss. I forget about the snack I came here for as my stomach is in knots now just thinking about tomorrow and Max. God he’s grown on me something fierce. I don’t want this to end; I want to be there for him. I was walking past him to head back upstairs when his arm shot out and he grabbed my arm. I stopped, and for once I wasn’t afraid. The pain consuming me this time was from a whole other form. Love lost. There’s nothing he can do or say to me right now that will make me hurt more. I turned to him.

  His shoulders sagged forward, his head was down and he looked… defeated. This is something I never thought I’d see. His head tilted to the side and he looked at me through his eyelashes. He released a long breath before he spoke. His voice was so quiet and sad I had to strain to hear it. “But I like it when you cook.” Punch straight to the gut. Did he just say that? Am I in the fucking twilight zone? His grip on me tightened and he straightened in his chair. He tugged on my arm and I stumbled forward. He grabbed me and sat me on his lap and then picked up the spoon in his bowl and took a bite. “I like when you cook, but you only do it for Max. Not for me.” He’s still going on in the same low voice. What is he talking about? I don’t get it. He expects me to cook for him, because… what? I want more torment. I’m sure confusion must be written all over my face because he shakes his head at me and fills the spoon again. This time he brings it to my mouth and holds his breath. He’s tense now, like he’s waiting for my reaction. I don’t know what to do, or what this is about. Before my brain could fully process what’s going on, my body reacted. I ate what he fed me and he relaxed. He did this a few more times, some for him, some for me. The whole time with me perched on his lap until the bowl was done. I got up from him and he took the bowl to the sink. I leaned in that spot while he washed it out and left the room without another glance or word to me.