Impossibly Love

by Morgan, Shane

  “Honey,” she called. “Can I come in?”

  I nearly told her to go away, deciding against it after remembering what my grandfather used to say when I was little. That some kids had none at all, so I should always appreciate and respect my parents.

  Getting up, I sat on the side of the bed and rubbed my bare feet against the carpet. “Come in,” I replied.

  Mom snuck her head halfway and reassured me with her earnest smile. She wasn’t mad at me.

  Stepping in further, she placed a plate of pasta on top of my end table and sat down beside me. “You really should get something in your stomach, honey. You barely had anything all day.”

  I didn’t say a word. Nor did I look at her.

  Mom cupped my hands into hers and continued, “I wasn’t blaming you for our problems, Branden. That wasn’t my intention. I guess we’re all mad at the situation and each other for not being able to do more for you.”

  I looked at her then. “I’m sorry I said that. I know it’s not only me. It affects you guys as well.”

  She tipped her head and raised her hand to brush my cheek. “It’ll be alright, honey. You’ll see.”

  I doubted those words.

  Dropping my gaze, I glanced over at the plate of pasta. “Mmm…smells good.” It was my favorite.

  Mom got up and walked over to the end table, picking up the plate. “You don’t have to finish it. But it’ll make me worry less if you eat some.”

  Reaching over, I took the plate from her hands, wrapping the fork around a chunk right after.

  Mom sighed in relief and turned to walk out of the room. Before leaving, she swiveled with an afterthought, “Branden, who was that girl last night, really?”

  I swallowed what I had in my mouth and answered, “A friend. I told you.”

  She squinted with suspicion, brushing her long hair from the side of her face. “Yes,” she said, questionably. “You’ve said that.” A coy smile appeared briefly.

  I went back to eating but Mom still had something to add. “She seems like a nice girl.”

  Not waiting for my reaction, she walked out the door and closed it behind her.

  Was that a sign of her approval of Moya?

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Moya

  By Monday, I was relentlessly searching every face that I passed in hopes of catching sight of Branden. I really wanted to see him to clarify my complicated feelings. It was a decision I made after tossing and turning in bed the night before.

  Towards the end of the day, I concluded my best bet would be the library. Scanning the area, from lounges to passages and between shelves, Branden was out of sight. There was only one other place left to look.

  I walked down the path that ended out by Severn River, my heart racing the closer I got. There, sitting on the grass watching the stillness of the water as the evening sun created dazzling effects, was Branden as I’d predicted.

  I stopped midstride as he turned and absorbed my features, a questioning look developed in his eyes. “Moya…?”

  He jumped to his feet as I approached.

  “I never thought it was possible, I just…I thought if I stayed focus on studying then I’d never get trapped into anything. But I can’t seem to stop myself from wanting to be around you.” My voice came out rasped and completely pure. Not to mention my heart was pounding inside my chest.

  I leaned from one foot to the other, waiting for his reaction and nothing at all, peering unabashedly into his captivating blue eyes. I had no problem with the silence around us. Like he’d said when we sat on the bench in that little park in downtown Berlin Heights, silence between us was indeed comforting.

  Branden reached his hand out for mine, and without any resistance I slid my fingers slowly into his palm. It felt strong, safe. Energy streamed through my veins, sending jitters even down to my toes.

  He guided me gently down on the grass. We sat close enough that our arms brushed against each other. “I can’t stop thinking about you, either,” he finally muttered.

  I turned and glanced at Branden as he placed his hand on top of mine, squeezing lightly. Branden gazed with affection back at me and I breathed heavily as nervousness struck my whole body.

  Steering away from his hypnotizing eyes, I directed my attention on the setting sun instead, watching as orange-red colors painted the darkening blue sky, bringing forth the soundless, peaceful night.

  We sat in silence for seconds, minutes, hours, even, as the night got darker and darker and there was nothing else to look at. The fireflies had left, and the water was too black to pretend to observe. Then, suddenly, I found myself leaning on Branden’s arm, resting my head comfortably on him.

  He eased away slightly to wrap his strong arms around my body, pulling me in closer. I’d never felt more safe than I did in that moment. Branden lowered himself on the grass, and I relaxed further on his chest as he clutched me in his arms.

  No words spoken to interrupt, no excuses made to run away.

  I closed my eyes and began to devour his intoxicating scent. I pressed my hand against his heaving chest and listened to the melodious beating of his heart.

  It was like a fight to keep at bay the rising feelings within my stomach—the desire for Branden to gently place me beneath him, hover on top and stare yearningly into my eyes. Then he would plant his soft lips on mine and take what I’d been saving for so long: my first kiss.

  Nothing happened.

  We both lingered in the still of the night, lying tightly close together, until finally I could fight sleep no more.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Branden

  I woke up feeling the dreadful cold of the morning, and my eyes flickered as they stung in the bright sunrise. A light moan resounded next to me and I glanced over at Moya, gently stroking the side of her beautiful face as she started to wake up as well.

  I all but lower my head to kiss her cheek as those alarmingly gorgeous brown eyes cracked open and bored into mine. I found myself smiling irrepressibly in admiration at how she glowed naturally in the sunlight.

  Moya wrinkled her forehead as she rose to her feet. I got up as well, touching her carefully on the shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

  She twisted, looked down at my hand and then moved out of my reach. “I don’t think I can do this.” Her voice came out almost inaudible. “Damn it,” She shook her head and her curls bounced.

  Moya seemed so frustrated not knowing how to deal with her feelings. Then I remembered this was the girl from two weeks ago, strong-minded about not falling for anyone. It hit me. “You’ve never liked anyone before, have you?” It was so easy for me to see who she really was then, so open and vulnerable.

  Slanting her body, Moya watched the water with dimmed eyes. I could see the way she struggled to keep her breath soft; a nearly undetectable quiver to her body that didn’t seem to be a result of the chilled air.

  She sighed then spoke, “My father left me and my momma when I was seven years old. Before he walked out the door, he promised me he’d always be there. That even though it didn’t work out with my momma he’d never stop calling or stop spending time with me. After my fourteenth birthday, though, I finally gave up on waiting.”

  She turned fully towards the river, trying to hide the single tear that fell down her left cheek. I moved closer and wiped it away. Seeing how heartbroken she was made me feel so helpless.

  Moya spun and looked me in the eye as she sobbed, “Because it took me that long to accept the truth, that my father didn’t love me. That he was never coming back.”

  I wrapped my arms around her as Moya sank into my chest and cried. Her suffering pained me. I wanted so badly to make it disappear.

  “Moya, I’m sure he loves you.”

  “No, he doesn’t,” she whimpered. “And you know what, Vanessa’s right, hating him made me angry with the world and at every guy I meet. Because I feel like they’ll hurt me the way he hurt my momma. I saw how heartbroken she was. I lived through it, and
I don’t want to feel that kind of pain, Branden.”

  I eased her away and tilted her chin up to meet my gaze. “I would never hurt you, Moya. You have to believe me.” Then following those words was the reminder that maybe I couldn’t make such a promise after all. “It’s just…” I lowered my head. “I have to tell you—”

  Moya burst out of my grip before I could finish and began to walk away. “I can’t do this after all. I refuse to set myself up to get hurt.”

  It was better that way, just let her go, I told myself. Moya’s protest faded in my ears as she got further away. Then my feet started to move as if they weren’t my own. I hurried to the path and caught up to her, gripping her around the waist to stop her from leaving.

  Moya’s eyes widened when I spun her around to face me. It was obvious what I was about to do and I knew very well she wouldn’t let it happen without a fight. Her attempts at being freed were futile as my hold increased the more she squirmed in my arms.

  “Let go!” she demanded.

  I blew hard, eager to drown myself in the sweetness of her lips. Dismissing her protest—and the little voice at the back of my head telling me not to—I shoved my mouth to hers and kissed her hungrily.

  Moya lifted her hands to my chest and pushed tentatively, and just as fast they began to lower. I knew she couldn’t resist the deep passion evoking between us. Finally, she yielded, and I wrapped my arms even tighter around her as Moya parted her lips and allowed me to enter.

  We groaned as our tongues collided, touching each other wildly as if the kiss was not only our first but our last. Moya placed her hands on my lower back, touching me sensually with her fingertips as she worked her way up my spine. She caressed the back of my neck, and then combed her fingers seductively through my hair.

  By the time the kiss ended, we were both panting, trying to breathe steadily.

  Moya wobbled as she backed away. “I have to get to class,” she whispered shakily as if under a trance.

  I released her with regret and watched as Moya turned and started up the path, staggering along the way.

  Afterwards, I dragged my thumb lightly along my lips, eyes fastened on Moya as she walked away. I could still feel the heat of her skin on mine, giving light to a fire of pleasure that threatened to make my hands shake in memory of her taste.

  Motivated by the promise of her presence, I walked up the path as well, following behind the girl I was indisputably falling hard for and fast.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Moya

  Later that night, I filled Vanessa in on all that went down with Branden, from falling asleep on his chest by the river, to our steamy kiss in the morning.

  “Whoa!” she screamed in the phone, “You guys kissed. Oh. My. Gosh! That’s so romantic. So, are you officially dating now?” she giggled.

  I checked my reflection in the mirror hanging on the closet door. “I don’t know, Nessa. We didn’t say much afterwards because I hurried off to class.”

  Vanessa hissed. “Oh jeez, of course you would run away. Whatever, text him now and solve that problem, and don’t give me that bull about being the first to text or call.”

  Sighing, I went over to the bed and lay down flat on my back. “I don’t have his number.”

  “What the hell!” she screeched, “Dumb, dumb, dumb. What is wrong with you two, don’t you want to date each other?”

  I rolled over on my side. “I’m still unsure about it all. Branden definitely makes me question the choices I’ve made, but I don’t know. I’m still scared.” I said.

  Vanessa crunched on chips in the phone and her words came out garbled.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “I said, get your butt over to his dorm right now and get all the confirmation you need.”

  I flew up. “No way, I don’t want to give him the wrong impression, that I’m there to sleep with him or something—”

  “Girl, please,” Vanessa smacked her mouth and made a sound as if she was licking the crumbs off her fingers. “Go get the damn number, and while you’re at it, enjoy another kiss.” She giggled before hanging up.

  I swallowed hard in deliberation. It wasn’t like I wouldn’t see Branden on Wednesdays in Business Law, by the river on some nights watching fireflies, or even at the library. Those were all chance encounters, though, and I didn’t want to only rely on simply running into him coincidentally.

  I wanted to talk to Branden at nights when my mind would contemplate combing my fingers through his ash blond hair, drowning myself in those possessing blue eyes, and kiss his sweet soft lips again and again. In spite of all I said in the past, to be honest, I wanted that someone to call my own. Someone I could trust.

  I was falling hard for Branden.

  Building up the courage to march over to his dorm, I jumped up from my bed determined to get Branden’s number, and also, like Vanessa said, possibly indulge in another heated kiss. I wasn’t sure where my braveness was coming from, but in this moment I wanted to take the risk and not think about the consequences.

  I made it to the exit and walked down the steps. As I got outside and began heading up the concrete path towards Branden’s dorm, I noticed a familiar figure coming towards me. From a far, the darkness casted a shadow over his face, once he got closer I made out the attractive features I’d grown to adore.

  “Where are you off to?” Branden grinned, stopping once he’d seen it was me.

  “Um, to your…library,” I lied. “Where are you heading?”

  Branden laughed knowingly. He filled the distance between us. “I can’t believe I forgot to ask for your number.” A feeling of relief ran through me.

  Reaching in my pocket, I took out my cell phone and handed it to him. “Put yours in and I’ll ring you afterwards. Oh, and does your friend still need someone to work on weekends? I keep forgetting to ask for the number.”

  Branden touched my fingers as he took the phone out my hand. I couldn’t help smiling at the brief connection. “I wonder why,” he teased.

  But yeah, he’s still looking. I’ll add his number as well. He owns a jewelry store in Berlin Heights called My Love’s Finest. You probably already know where it is, though.”

  I shook my head. “The name doesn’t ring a bell.”

  “Really?” he narrowed his eyes while handing me back my cell phone. “The necklace you wore a few nights ago looks a lot like the ones from his store.”

  I shrugged, “Beats me. My momma gave it to me for my sixteenth birthday. No idea where she bought it.”

  “Oh, I see.” Branden nodded, then pulled me in close and enclosed me with his arms. “So, any plans for the rest of the night?”

  I pressed into his chest. “No, no plans at all.”

  “Let’s go have some fun,” he said, taking my hand into his as he led me to the parking lot.

  “Wait, fun as in what?” I asked, slipping into the passenger seat of his car when he opened the door for me.

  “You’ll see.” Branden bent over and kissed me on the cheek. His lips sent shivers down my spine.

  He closed the door and hurried around to the driver’s side, starting the engine as soon as he got in. I’d never seen Branden more excited. The entire drive to wherever he was taking me he kept glancing over, smiling each time our eyes would meet. And always my heart would flutter and I’d look away shyly. All this was new for me, because I’d never had such feelings before. And for that, I was happy Branden made me change my mind about opening up to someone. It also made me fearful I’d someday end up regretting it.

  As soon as we arrived, my anticipation for adventure quickly vanished when I saw what Branden meant by fun.

  He parked along the side of the street, and I sat timidly in the car staring at the sign Sound Box, hesitant to even dare enter the dark red, multi-brick building in downtown Harrington.

  Branden sprang out of the car and hurried around to my side, opening the door for me. “Come on, Moya. It’s not that bad.”

  I
cringed. “No, uh-uh, I don’t do clubs,” I explained. “Besides, we’re still nineteen.”

  He laughed. “This isn’t that type of place. It’s more for college students. They don’t even serve alcohol here much less check your ID.”

  That was good to hear, because the only thing I grabbed from my dorm room were my keys and cell phone.

  “Come on, I promise you’ll like it,” Branden insisted. I decided to trust him, as he was right about me liking Charley’s restaurant the first time we went out.

  Placing my hand into his, I got out of the car and walked with Branden to the entrance. As we entered the Sound Box, Rihanna’s ‘Where Have You Been?’ boomed loudly from the speakers. It was quite an old building, much bigger on the inside than it appeared to be on the outside.

  I peered around to get a feel for the setting, spotting a stage towards the back for live performances, and a high-low section where people could dance. The dimmed light made the atmosphere sexy as it complimented the dark ceiling and gritty espresso interior. Indeed, Branden scored another point with me because I liked Sound Box after all.

  He observed my reaction as we sat at a high table near the dance floor. “I knew you’d like it,” he said confidently, sounding like my own personal broken record.

  I winked. “Okay. You were right, again.”

  “So, do you want anything to drink or eat?” he asked.

  “I’ll have a coke.”

  Branden left to get us drinks and I continued admiring the ambience. I was also unable to stop myself from grooving along with the music. The hypnotic beat was creeping underneath my skin. Even when Branden returned with our drinks, I kept rocking on the seat.

  He stood and watched me take a sip, then took my hand as he said, “Let’s go dance.”

  “Oh no, I don’t dance,” I said like a fearful little girl.

  “Well, there’s a first for everything, Moya.” Branden grinned broadly, exposing his perfectly white teeth as he led me to the dance floor.