Uncontrollable (Key West #3)

by C. A. Harms

  “What the hell happened to your face?” I asked, pointing at the spot.

  “You and your drunk stupidity happened. You better thank Avery and Callie when you see them next time. I was ten seconds from beating your fucking ass, but they convinced me you were already on the edge of death, so killing you would be a waste of my time.”

  I knew Jude was a mean son of a bitch. I had heard stories from Jett about his temper and his constant torn-up knuckles. Which could only mean one thing—he liked punching things. No one was completely clear as to what he was punching or whom, but it was obvious to anyone he didn’t take any shit. On more than one occasion he’d shown up at Jett’s for his shift looking as if he’d gone ten rounds with the heavyweight champion of the world. He never offered an explanation, only insisted that his business was private and to back the fuck off.

  Then it all came back to me—the wedding and the reception, followed by telling Avery that her stepdad was responsible for Jenna’s death. “Shit,” I grumbled. “How’s Avery?”

  Jude walked out, ignoring my question.

  I scrambled from the bed and followed. “Jude, is she okay?”

  “She’s fine. I mean as good as she can be doing, considering you told her the man she calls Dad is a murderer.” The irritation rang loud and clear in his voice. “But let me ask you something,” he said, turning around to face me as we reached my small kitchen. “Was that shit really necessary? Was it the time or the place to break her heart and throw that garbage in her face?”

  I hung my head. Knowing I threw my problems back on Avery only made me feel like a complete asshole.

  Chapter Four

  Avery

  Callie wouldn’t let it go. She began interrogating me the moment we entered the bathroom. But truthfully, I wanted to get what had happened between me and Kade today off my chest because I felt like it was taking me over. So I told her everything that had happened during the wedding and reception. Between the tears I shed for both Kade and my stepdad, I was a mess.

  After I finished, she stood staring back at me in shock. “Wow,” she whispered.

  “Yeah, wow.” I turned to face her, my heart heavy as I leaned back against the sink. “I’m stuck in the middle, and I don’t want to be.”

  “He never should have brought it up here. It wasn’t the time or the place.” She appeared irritated.

  “I’m glad he told me. It was just a lot to take in. I wasn’t prepared to hear we had such a connection before we even met one another.” I was glad Kade had finally found the strength to open up, but I never expected to hear my dad was responsible for his heartache, and that knowledge broke my heart for the both of them.

  When we finally exited the bathroom, I realized we’d been in there for an hour and Kade was now hammered. He was hunched over at the bar, slurring his words heavily. It hurt to see him like that. I was so used to his fun-loving attitude, his playful comments, and his crazy banter.

  After I helped Jude get Kade to his car, Callie insisted I go home with her. I spent the entire night sifting through everything Kade said, over and over. His words changed everything. I now knew whenever he looked at me, he would be reminded of Robert and the accident.

  So when I was still wide awake at four thirty in the morning, staring up at Callie’s living room ceiling, I decided it was time to talk to Robert. After calling a cab and writing a quick note to Callie, I locked her door and pulled it closed behind me. As I made my way down the sidewalk toward the awaiting cab, my stomach rolled with anxiety, which only grew worse as the cab seemed to take forever to reach my parents’ house. When it finally pulled up along the curb, I handed the driver the money through the open window between the cab and the backseat and pushed open the door. With the sun barely above the horizon, I slowly walked up the path to my parents’ house. I used my key to open their front door and softly closed it behind me.

  I planned to just curl up on the couch and wait until Robert got out of bed. I didn’t expect to find my stepdad alone in the darkened sitting room just to the left of the entryway, staring into space.

  “Dad,” I whispered.

  He looked up, and I couldn’t make out his expression from the shadows in the corner where he sat. As I stepped farther into the room, he shifted slightly in his chair.

  “Avery, are you okay?” he asked as he quickly stood and took a step in my direction. “It’s so early, sweetheart. Did something happen?”

  I shook my head. “No, nothing happened. I just…” I paused, unsure of how to continue. “I, um, thought we should talk.”

  He looked back at me with a blank stare.

  “I know…about the accident,” I said.

  He stepped backward and lowered himself back into his chair. Hanging his head, he ran his fingers through his brown, wavy hair, pulling at the ends at the base of his neck.

  “It was before I met your mother,” he began. “Six months before, actually. If it wasn’t for her, I’m not sure I would have recovered from that night.” He looked up, and his gaze met mine. “That was the lowest point in my life, the darkest time. That poor girl.” His voice cracked with emotion.

  “It was an accident,” I whispered.

  “I know,” he said. “But it will never change the fact I’m responsible for Jenna’s death. She was only seventeen years old, captain of the debate team, and an honor student.” He paused, biting his upper lip. “Did you know she wanted to be a doctor?”

  The fact he knew so much about Jenna told me his remorse hadn’t faded in all these years.

  “She used to tell everyone all she wanted to do was give people back hope,” he continued. “She wanted to cure the incurable, make a difference she would always be remembered for.”

  Hearing him talk about the girl Kade had loved so dearly made my chest ache and my eyes sting with tears. I wondered how he knew these things.

  “I watched hours of news clips,” he said as if he had read my mind. “The ones where her family and friends talked about the special things they remembered about her. It was torture, but I couldn’t stop myself. I would lie awake at night crying, knowing I had taken such a special girl away from the people that loved her so much.”

  As he dried his eyes, my throat tightened at the knowledge had been crying. “I know Kade hates me. Hell, not a day has gone by since the accident that I haven’t hated myself too. I robbed the world of a beautiful, ambitious young girl, and I will never forgive myself for that.”

  “He doesn’t hate you,” I tried to soothe him.

  He cocked an eyebrow at me and twisted his hands in his lap.

  “He just needed someone to blame,” I assured him. “He blames himself too.”

  “I fell asleep at the wheel, Avery. If I had just gone home after my shift, things would have been fine. But I chose to work a double, and that puts Jenna’s death on me. I did that. I ran that light. Not him, me.” Robert covered his eyes with his hands, and his shoulders shook as he sobbed.

  I felt lost, unsure of what to do next.

  When my mother appeared in the doorway and walked through the room to kneel before Robert, I tried my hardest to fight back the tears. I wasn’t sure until then if she knew about the accident. After all, I had never heard them talk about it.

  “You cannot keep doing this, Rob. You have to forgive yourself. It was an accident.” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him closer.

  Watching my stepfather cry with his face buried in my mother’s neck was heart wrenching. Two men I loved were both blaming themselves for something they’d had no control over, and the guilt of Jenna’s death was tearing them apart.

  Chapter Five

  Kade

  It had been three days since I last saw Avery. I thought about calling her a number of times, only to talk myself out of it. Distance was the best thing, and she deserved better. I knew I would only hurt her. I had entirely too many demons, and Avery didn’t need my depression bringing her down. Even if everything inside of me crav
ed her comforting presence.

  I held the bottle of Lexapro in one hand and my old friend Jack in the other. You were supposed to refrain from drinking alcohol while taking this medication, but I had spent the last three days with nothing but whiskey to drink and was still standing. Yeah, I felt tired and groggy as fuck, but at least it helped me forget the hell that was going on inside me.

  I popped the pill in my mouth and tipped back the bottle to wash it down. The burn felt damn good. Knowing the numbness would soon set in once more gave me a little hope that the pain I felt almost constantly may just be tolerable tonight.

  Every night since the morning I woke up at my place after Jude brought me home, I had slept at the shop, drinking my nights away. My days were filled with me dragging my ass at work while Tom and James slaved away. They were picking up my slack, and I should have felt guilty about it, but I was too hammered to care.

  It was just after eight in the evening, and I was sitting in my office in the back of the shop. The only light on was the one just above working bay two. It left just enough light to see by as I sat in the semidarkness, attempting to once again drown out the demons in my mind. The only sound was the air compressor as it hummed and occasionally let out a slow hiss of air. It was almost hypnotizing.

  An overwhelming nervousness filled my body, and I felt the urge to move. I stood from the couch and stumbled a few feet before gaining my footing. I wandered into the shop and over to the 1967 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500, a car my father spent hours restoring. It was his pride and joy, or so I thought. He had it my senior year, just three months after Jenna’s death. The day he decided to retire and handed me the keys to Korbin’s Garage, he also handed me the keys to the Mustang. He hoped we could work on the car together as a way for me to get a sense of myself back. But after a year of me floating in and out of depression and anger, he gave up waiting on me. Looking back now, I felt guilty for the time I’d lost with him. It was time I could never get back. He passed away less than a year after retiring, leaving me with only more regret. I seemed to be living in a pool of it.

  I stood before the car, admiring the sleek, black body and chrome accents. I had yet to take it for a spin, afraid of tainting its perfection in any way.

  A light tapping from behind me caught my attention. I looked back over my shoulder, and my mouth instantly went dry.

  Avery stood on the other side of the full glass door. Her light blonde hair hung down over her shoulders in long waves, and her tight, red shirt hugged the curve of her breasts and exposed a small sliver of her taut stomach just above the waistband of her short skirt. It stopped at midthigh, making her long, tan legs appear to stretch out for miles, and those strappy, high-heeled sandals only added to the length. She was gorgeous, and I swore I could hear my heart beating in my ears as I squeezed the bottle of Jack in my hands just a little tighter.

  She offered a sweet smile as she motioned to the handle on the door, indicating she wanted to be let in. My breathing became a little less controlled as I walked in her direction. I was terrified of hurting her more than I already had.

  I opened the door and stepped back, allowing her to enter. The moment she walked past me, the clean, refreshing scent of lilacs washed over me.

  “What are you doing here so late?” she asked. “I went by your apartment first, and when you weren’t there, I thought I would give the garage a shot.”

  I hid the bottle of whiskey at my side, and when I locked the door behind her, I placed it on the rack next to the door as she looked around the shop curiously. Tucking my hands into my front pockets, I offered a shrug when she looked back over her shoulder. Why I felt I needed to hide it was a mystery. I was sure she already sensed I was wasted.

  “Just finishing up some things here. I work better when I’m alone.” The last thing I was going to admit was that I was too drunk by four p.m. to drive home.

  She turned her head to the Mustang in the corner, and her eyes grew wide. “Oh my God, is that a 67 Shelby?”

  Her knowledge of cars surprised me into silence, and she didn’t wait for my reply before walking over to it and running her fingers over the fender. As she leaned over slightly, her skirt rode up just a little higher. “It’s beautiful,” she gasped, still admiring it.

  My mind couldn’t register anything other than Avery, her toned legs, and her ass, which was pushed out as she looked in through the passenger window. I had on more than one occasion fought my attraction to Avery. She was gorgeous, and everything inside me wanted to feel her pressed against my body. The problem was, my body was all I could offer. My mind was too fucked up to be worthy of her.

  She stood up straight and turned around to face me. “Ever seen the movie Gone in Sixty Seconds?”

  What the hell? Where did that come from?

  “Nicholas Cage? Eleanor?” she said. “The Shelby GT500 was his unicorn.”

  She’d lost me. I seriously had no idea what in the hell she was talking about. For a minute I debated which of us was actually drunk and who was sober.

  “Oh wow, Kade, are you serious? You have never watched that movie?” She looked offended, and it almost made me laugh.

  “Babe, you lost me at the unicorn shit. I don’t watch crap like that,” I assured her. Garbage like unicorns, vampires, and people that turn into some kind of animal when they get pissed didn’t appeal to me in the slightest.

  She laughed and placed her hand against her forehead. “No.” She giggled. “It’s a car movie. Nicholas Cage plays the older brother that comes to his brother’s rescue when he fails at a heist. He has to steal so many cars in a certain amount of time to save his brother’s life from the guy he originally screwed over.”

  “Okay, so what in the hell does that have to do with a unicorn?” I was now questioning her sanity.

  “Not a real unicorn, you dork. It’s a metaphor. Nicholas Cage’s character refers to the Shelby as his unicorn. A mythical creature that doesn’t exist in nature. He feels like it’s a magical being always just beyond his reach.”

  She was so fucking cute as she tried to explain the movie to me.

  “So you like the car because of some movie?”

  “Uh, no.” She cocked her head to the side. “I love the Shelby because it’s hot. I just fell in love with it more after it was referred to as his unicorn.” She smiled and shrugged her shoulder.

  She was making it hard to keep my distance. I honestly wanted nothing more than to rush forward and kiss the fuck right out of her.

  “You’re beautiful.” I said it before I had time to think about it. My brain-to-mouth filter was a little slow tonight.

  She stared at me a few seconds. “Thank you,” she whispered, and under the fluorescent light over the Mustang, her cheeks flushed as she looked at the ground.

  It bothered me that she shied away from the compliment. I closed the distance between us and placed my finger below her chin. As I lifted it gently, her eyes locked with mine.

  “You are beautiful, Avery. Kind and generous,” I said as I skimmed my thumb over her lower lip. “I can’t help smiling when you’re around. You bring out the joy in even the darkest moments.”

  She darted her tongue out, barely catching the tip of my thumb. The connection seemed to surprise her, and it made my cock jump in my jeans. It had been too long since I’d been with a woman, and Avery was making all that pent-up need come rushing at me at once. Not to mention, she had been starring in all my dirty dreams ever since I’d met her almost a year ago.

  I couldn’t look away from her sweet lips. They were moist, full, and begging to be kissed.

  “I want to kiss you,” I confessed. “Not sure if it’s a good idea.”

  Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and she fisted her hand in my shirt at my waist. “Why wouldn’t it be?” Her voice came out in a breathy whisper.

  “Because if I kiss you, I’m sure it won’t be enough to tame my hunger.”

  Her eyes widened at my words, and I was sure I had pushed too h
ard. I was feeling bolder than normal, thanks to Avery’s scent and the amount of alcohol I had consumed. Mix in a little antidepressants and that would explain my current state. It was definitely a dangerous combination.

  “What if I said I’m just as hungry as you are?” She bit her lower lip, and I tugged at it with my thumb. “Maybe a little more,” she whispered.

  I leaned in closer until our lips were only inches apart. Warning bells were going off right and left inside my mind, telling me this would only end badly, but I refused to listen. Her sweet breath grazed my lips, only making me want her more intensely.

  “Avery, I’m not a sweet and gentle kinda guy. I can’t offer—”

  She placed her finger against my lips to stop me. “I’m not asking you to be gentle, Kade. Stop thinking so much and just feel,” she said before removing her finger and smashing her lips against mine.

  The abrupt contact caught me off guard at first, and I froze. But the moment she traced the seam of my lips with her tongue, I groaned and placed my hand on the back of her neck. Our kisses quickly turned into a heated frenzy. The way she roamed her hands over my stomach and just beneath the hem of my shirt made tingles roll over my chest and arms. Slowly, she lifted my shirt as she worked her hands upward. Her touch caused relaxation to flood over me, and I let go of all my pain, allowing myself to be in the moment without questioning the consequences of my actions. It felt good to let it go, to live in the now, even if tomorrow all the pain and sadness would be back in full force.

  Pulling back from our heated kiss, I backed her up toward the hood of the Mustang as I stared into her eyes, looking for any hesitation. When the backs of her thighs bumped against the grille, I reached down, lifted her up, and placed her ass on the hood.

  Her gaze was locked on mine as I pulled my shirt over my head and dropped it to the ground at my side.

  “You sure you want this?” I asked.

  She nodded at me without a second thought. “Yes,” she whispered. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”