Uncontrollable (Key West #3)

by C. A. Harms

  Chapter Six

  Avery

  I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had wanted Kade since the first smile he shot my way, but he always pushed me away. I knew he’d spent a long time hurting, and I knew he was having a rough time now, but this felt so right. I also knew Kade was attracted to me. He never hid that. But he always backed down before doing anything about it.

  Yet right now, in this moment, he let go.

  He stood before me, his shirt on the ground at his feet, his jeans unbuckled and hanging open, and the waistband of his boxers just barely covering his erection. My mouth watered at the thought of what was hidden beneath.

  He had pushed my skirt up, exposing my panties as he rested his hips just between my knees. He traced the edge of the blue silk with his finger, teasing and taunting me before bending forward and kissing my inner thigh. As he did, he flipped his tongue out, causing me to gasp in surprise. I looked down just in time to see a smile grace his lips. He knew he had me, and he was loving it. Just when I thought he couldn’t tease me anymore, he dipped his finger just under the edge of my panties. The way he lightly skimmed his fingers over my throbbing center caused me to thrust forward, begging for more.

  I was disappointed when he stood up. But when he slid his palms along my hips, hooking my panties, I couldn’t help but smile. Slowly, he pulled them down my legs. Once he untangled them from my sandals and dropped them to the floor, he put his hands under my ass and slid me closer to the front of the hood, then pushed my thighs apart. My face heated, and chills fanned out over my skin when he looked down at me, licking his lower lip slowly.

  “Fucking sexy,” he said as he knelt before me, still bracing my legs apart with his hands, exposing me completely.

  The first swipe of his tongue over my clit had my hips bucking. On instinct I tried to squeeze my thighs together, but he held them apart with force as he devoured me like a starving man.

  I fell back onto the hood, arching my back, squirming and rotating my hips in pleasure, and pressing myself against his mouth. I was lost, out of my mind as he ravished me. As he sucked my clit, he bit gently, and the scrape of his teeth threw me over the top as I screamed out, “Yes, oh fuck, yes.”

  He continued to roll his tongue along my center and drove it inside me before pulling back to take my clit into his mouth once more.

  I wasn’t sure when exactly he stood, but when he gripped my thighs and thrust his hips forward, I gasped. His hardness filled me as I tensed around him from the aftereffects of my orgasm.

  “Oh yeah,” he groaned. “Feels so fucking good.”

  He began to move hard and fast, and our bodies slapped against each other with each thrust. There was nothing slow about his moments; he wasn’t kidding when he said he wasn’t gentle. My back rubbed against the hood, making a squeaking noise of resistance with each shift of his hips.

  Kade’s head was thrown back and his eyes squeezed tightly shut as his deep grunts filled the silence. I tried to not analyze how detached I felt from him, but it was eating at me. He could at least look at me, pretend he cared just a little. From the moment he entered me, he had yet to look me in the eyes again.

  Something that started out so amazing had quickly shifted into a quick fuck between strangers.

  I turned my head to the side, doing all I could to fight off the tears that had begun to build, cursing myself for expecting anything more from a man who was incapable of making any type of connection. I mean, was I delusional? How could I be upset about the lack of intimacy? He was drunk when I showed up, and I picked up on it immediately. Why I had led myself to believe this was anything more than just a release for him, I would never know.

  His thrusts became more vigorous, and he lifted my legs and hooked them around his waist, then gripped my ass as he pounded harder and faster. The only sounds were our bodies slapping together and his deep breathing.

  I shifted against him, rotating my hips, hoping for some kind of reaction. But he kept his eyes shut as he continued to drive into me. Just when I was about to tell him to let me up, he slammed in one last time, and I could feel him twitching inside me as a warm jet of come filled me.

  He instantly let go of my hips and reached back to unhook my legs from his waist. He then pulled out of me and stepped back, still refusing to look at me. “Let me get you something to clean up with,” he said as he tugged his pants back in place and walked toward his office.

  I felt like an idiot. I walked right into this one and had no one to blame but myself for my disappointment. I slid off the hood and grabbed my panties from the floor, not taking the time to even put them on, then stormed to the door, flipped the lock, and yanked open the door. I wasn’t gonna stick around to get the brush-off. Kade had made it perfectly clear I was only a means of release to him.

  Outside, I climbed into my car, quickly shut the door, and hurried to start the engine. As I placed it in drive, I took one last glance though the windshield at the garage. Kade stood in the doorway, still shirtless, his hands resting on his hips. We stared at each other, and he made no attempt to come after me. When he flipped the lock on the door, my chest constricted and my stomach felt like it bottomed out.

  I flipped him off before stomping on the gas and throwing gravel up as I sped off.

  Kade Russell Thomas could go to hell. I was done pining over a man who chose to live in the past. My heart couldn’t take it anymore.

  Chapter Seven

  Kade

  Thump! Clank! Clank!

  I squinted as I came fully awake. The bright sunlight spilling through the window in my office hurt my eyes, which felt like they had a jackhammer going off behind them. I tried to reach up and twist the rod on the blinds, but it did nothing to dim the brightness.

  “Dude, you smell like ass, and you look homeless,” someone said.

  I jumped from my position on the couch and looked across the room. Jett and Easton were perched on the edge of my desk, watching me like I was some sort of freak show.

  “What the hell do you assholes want?” I groaned as I covered my eyes with my arm. A hard blow to my thigh caused me to shoot up off the couch in defense. “What the fuck?” I spit out.

  “Damn, Kade, you—”

  “I got this,” Jett growled as he held his hand out toward Easton, scowling. He then turned back to face me. “Get up,” he said, looking like he was about to tear into me. “This hiding bullshit you’re pulling ain’t gonna fly anymore.” He grabbed the half-empty bottle of whiskey from the small table next to the couch. “You’re drinking your fucking life away over garbage you can’t change. You tried that shit once before, and it got you nowhere. I sure as hell am not gonna sit on the sidelines and watch you do it again.”

  “I didn’t ask for your damn help, now did I?” I stood up and squared my shoulders. “I don’t need you swooping in to save the day, man. Shouldn’t you be with your wife or some shit like that?”

  He narrowed his eyes. “I would have been. But when Avery showed up at our place crying, my very naked wife left our warm bed and got dressed to soothe the girl you just screwed over.” He paused for a minute before throwing another jab. “Or should I say the girl you fucked on the hood of your car only to throw away afterward?”

  “I didn’t throw her away. She left,” I countered.

  “Yeah, and I’m sure that had nothing to do with you. I’m betting you were the perfect gentleman.” He was still glaring at me. “Do you even give a shit about anything? You have all these people that care about you, but you act like none of us could possibly understand what you’re going through.”

  Jett’s voice raised as he yelled at me, and one of the guys in the shop looked over at the window of my office, a concerned expression on his face.

  “I watched my best friend lose himself once. I’m not gonna stand by and let it happen again. Whether you want me to be or not, I’m here. You can fucking fight me every step, but I can guarantee you, I will fight back. I’m not letting you drown agai
n, Kade. Fuck that shit.”

  “I’m fine,” I said, glaring back at him with matching anger. It was all I could say. My chest felt tight, and I just wanted them both to leave.

  Jett squared his shoulders and flared out his chest, growing angrier from my comment. His glare darkened, and he moved in until we were nose to nose. The tension in the air was thick as Easton stepped up to his side and put his hand on his shoulder.

  “Going to blows isn’t gonna fix shit here, boys,” he said.

  “No, but knocking some fucking sense into his stubborn ass sure would make me feel better,” Jett told him. “You owe Avery an apology,” he then said to me. “That girl has had a thing for you for a while now, and she deserves better. You should have been a man and stepped the fuck back last night if you knew going in you couldn’t give it your all.”

  I couldn’t argue with him on that, because he was right. “I’ll talk to her,” I said.

  “Take a shower first. You reek of whiskey,” Easton said.

  “You think you can show up at the restaurant for Callie’s birthday dinner tonight, or are you too damn good for your friends now?” Jett was still pissed as shit.

  “I’ll be there,” I said as my nostrils flared, just as angry as he was. They were in my space, and I needed some distance real fast.

  ***

  After Jett and Easton left, I went home and showered for a good thirty minutes, attempting to wash away all the sweat and grime from my night of drinking.

  I know I was an ass to Avery by refusing to look at her after I slid inside her. It was a poor choice, but looking her in the eyes and seeing her pleasure would have been the worst mistake I could have made. If our gazes had connected, I wouldn’t be able to hide my feelings for her. I longed to take my time and slowly make love to her, but I knew she deserved better than a moody, depressed man who drinks too much and can’t control his anger. She’s so outgoing, happy, and full of life that I would only bring her down. So instead I did the opposite. If I hadn’t detached myself emotionally, she would have seen right through me, and walking away after would have been even harder.

  I needed to explain my actions. She had to know I hadn’t acted the way I did because of her; I was the problem.

  Yet the moment I walked into Jett’s for Callie’s party and saw her tucked in the booth in the corner, I had to just stop walking and take her in from afar. She was smiling at a picture Quinn was holding in her hand. When Quinn pointed at it and said something, Avery threw her head back as she laughed, making her hair fall away from her beautiful face.

  “You feeling like a jackass yet?” Jett asked as he stepped out of his office and walked toward me.

  “I felt like a jackass the minute I let her leave last night.” I looked over at him as he continued to watch the girls across the room. “I’m not proud of the way I acted. I’m just not in the right place now to offer her anything more. And you’re right, I should have stopped it before it even started.”

  “Will you ever be in the right place?” he asked as his gaze finally met mine. “Jenna’s death was not your fault, Kade. You know that. You can’t live your entire life denying yourself happiness. You deserve closure, and you deserve to feel the strength a woman’s love can give you.”

  He chuckled, an action I felt was a little out of place, considering what he’d just said. “But right now you have to survive the triplets of torture.”

  “What?” I asked, and he nodded toward the dining area. The girls had noticed me by now, and Avery was staring at her lap. Quinn, Harper, and Callie, on the other hand, were all glaring at me. “Fuck,” I muttered.

  “Yep, I’ve been on the receiving end of each one of those girls. Yet I’ll admit I’ve never had to endure all three of them coming at me at once.” He chuckled again. “I’d say your odds of survival look pretty damn bleak.” He slapped my shoulder and walked away.

  “Asshole,” I mumbled.

  “It’ll be good for ya,” he hollered back over his shoulder. “You need someone to wake your stubborn ass up. Maybe they can make you see the light or kill ya in the process.”

  After a few deep breaths, I pushed forward to face the three girls that looked as if they were already planning my funeral. I hadn’t even moved three feet before Quinn crawled out of the booth and began walking toward me.

  “You wait right there,” she directed. I had seen Quinn drunk and angry. I had seen her nail a guy in the nuts and drop him like he was nothing, so I sure as shit had no intention of pissing her off even further than I already had.

  “What the hell are your plans for Avery?” she demanded. “Are you here to finish her off? Throw out another sorry excuse as to why you can’t give her more?”

  Well hello, Spitfire. Damn, Quinn sure didn’t pull her punches.

  “I need to apologize for the way I treated her last night. I need to—”

  She held her hand up and took another step in my direction. “No, what you need to do is leave her the hell alone. I’m not gonna let you play head games with her. One minute you say you just want to be friends. That you can’t offer her more because you’ve decided to live in some crazy world inside your head. Yet the next minute, you’re fucking her on the hood of some car and then throwing her aside like four-day-old leftovers.”

  “I don’t want to hurt her, Quinn.”

  “Yeah, well, Kade, it’s too damn late for that. You already have.”

  Her words cut me deep. I looked up toward the table, where Avery was now sitting alone and still refusing to look in my direction. That’s when I noticed both Callie and Harper had joined the punish-Kade party.

  Of course, the guys were sitting at the bar to my left, watching with smirks on their faces. Cocky assholes were loving the show, watching my demise unfold right before them.

  “If you want to live your life in sadness, don’t drag my best friend along with you. She deserves a man that puts her first,” Quinn added before she turned and walked back to the table.

  “Dude, you fucked up,” Harper said.

  I looked over at the bar to find Easton staring back at her with a look of pride on his face. “You think?” I countered sarcastically.

  “Can you just answer one question for me?” Callie asked. I nodded and looked back over at Avery, hoping she would just glance in my direction. “How long do you plan on pretending you deserve to be punished?”

  “It’s time to wake up and stop blaming yourself for things you had no control over,” Harper said. “It’s hard to move past life-changing events. Believe me, I know. But there comes a time when you have to let go of all that anger and blame. The what-ifs will drive you insane, Kade.”

  Chapter Eight

  Avery

  My stomach had been in knots from the moment I woke this morning, not that I got any real sleep last night. The girls were fired up after I filled them all in at breakfast. They were ready to drive over to Kade’s place and cut off his manhood, or so Harper stated. It didn’t matter how many times I told them I was okay; they continued to plan Kade’s demise. In a way I felt sorry for him—sort of.

  I could sense the moment he entered the restaurant, because all three of the girls glared toward the door and refused to look away. Quinn darted from the booth, followed closely by Callie and Harper. They descended on Kade, ready to attack, and of course Jett left him alone to suffer.

  I couldn’t look at him. I was too embarrassed and angry. I never expected him to declare his love for me, but ignoring me while he had me pinned to the hood of a car wasn’t what I had in mind, either. It was as if I was just some random girl he picked up at the side of the road, not a friend he’d had for over a year.

  I wasn’t imaging the attraction between Kade and me. It was there. But he pretended daily that it wasn’t anything deeper and froze up every time things went a little too far. But last night he let his guard down, and yes, I thought for a moment things may have changed. I think it was a fantasy I created in the heat of the moment—a hope, really
—that he had moved past pushing me away, and I wasn’t about to stop it. It was something I had wanted for so long.

  “I could smack the stupid right out of that man,” Quinn spat as she flopped down beside me in the booth. “He never meant to hurt you my ass.”

  “Maybe he didn’t,” I whispered.

  “Excuse me?”

  I shrugged and continued to twist my hands nervously. “None of us actually understand what he’s going through. We act like we do, but seriously, he’s fought this for years.” I swallowed past the oversized lump in my throat. “Do you know Jenna’s parents blamed him? That when he disappeared right after the accident and everyone thought he left, he was right here in Palm Beach?” I took a chance and looked up at Quinn. She was staring at me intently. “He drank every day to try to drown out the demons that night created in his mind.”

  Quinn looked back up at Kade, her expression softening. It was clear she was seeing him not as the asshole she did a few moments ago, but as the troubled soul I knew he was. “I don’t like seeing you hurt,” she said as her eyes remained locked on Kade.

  “I’m a big girl, Quinny,” I reminded her.

  “Avery, can I talk to you, please?”

  Kade’s deep voice erupted at my side, and I jumped a little in surprise.

  As Callie and Harper sat back down in the booth, I turned to look up at Kade. A worried expression covered his face, and my heart ached for him. I nodded and slid out of the booth.

  We walked toward the back doors that opened out onto the balcony off the back of the restaurant. The smell of the ocean filled my senses as I took in a calming breath.

  “I’m sorry,” he said from behind me. I didn’t turn around, only leaned in a little closer to the railing, looking out at the water as it washed up on the beach in wave after wave, reminding me of the pattern Kade and I had shared over the last year. We moved forward, flirting, offering a small touch here and there, only to pull back when things got too close. Except last night, there was no pulling back until after it was too late.