Uncontrollable (Key West #3)

by C. A. Harms

  “Last night never should have happened.” The regret was evident in his words, and they left an empty ache in my stomach. “I shouldn’t have—”

  He stopped abruptly when I pushed back against the railing. It was time for the brush-off, and I’d be damned if I was going out like the poor girl who got tossed aside. “Really, it was no big deal. I mean, it was just sex, right? We both had an itch to scratch and nothing more. Don’t worry about it. We’ve flirted and we’ve played around, now we can move on. No mystery left, right? On to bigger and better things.” I forced a smile and turned back to the restaurant. “Honestly, Kade, don’t lose any sleep over it. I’m fine.”

  I didn’t wait for him to argue or say anything more. I refused to leave him with the impression I would be pining over him. Which I knew was exactly what I would be doing in silence.

  I spent the next three hours laughing with my friends and avoiding eye contact with Kade, and I blocked the last twenty-four hours from my mind the best I could. I lived in the moment, remembering there was life without Kade Thomas, and prior to him I used to hold my head high. I would not, could not be that girl who cried over the guy who didn’t want the same things she did. I would not settle. I deserved more than a random hookup.

  ***

  “Well, Mr. Hebner, it looks like you’ll need a few stitches,” I said as I inspected the gash above the young man’s eye. The emergency room was fairly slow today. I was so glad I’d been put on the day shift. Nights were horrible.

  “You can’t just stick one of those bandages on it to hold it closed?” he replied.

  “I’m afraid not.” I almost laughed at the look of panic in his eyes. He was a twentysomething-year-old man who was nearing a total meltdown at the thought of needles. “We can numb the area for you, and basically you’ll just feel some gentle pressure. It’ll be over before you know it.”

  He looked a little green, maybe on the verge of passing out. “I hate needles,” he confessed as he gripped the side of the hospital bed.

  “I kinda picked up on that.” I smiled, and he hung his head immediately. But then he chuckled and lifted it once more to meet my stare.

  “Bet you don’t get many like me in here. A grown man about to have a panic attack.”

  “Oh, you’d be amazed,” I assured him. “I’ll be back in just a few minutes, and we’ll get started.” I then went to get the supplies the doctor would need for the procedure, leaving behind a very nervous man.

  Dr. Wilson stepped up at my side and handed a chart to Heather, the nurse who sat on the other side of the counter. “Room 6 ready?” she asked.

  “Yep, and he’s a phobic. Hates needles and may need to be coached through the process,” I explained.

  Dr. Wilson laughed and stepped back from the counter. “Those are always fun,” she said as she walked toward the room. I followed closely behind with the supplies.

  “Good afternoon, Mr. Hebner,” she said as she entered. “Let’s see what you got.” She pulled a chair up to the side of the bed, then moved the gauze away from his forehead to analyze the cut above his eye. “That’s not too bad. Four stiches, maybe five. You’ll be good as new in less than ten minutes.”

  As I began to lay out the items Dr. Wilson would need for the procedure, the color drained from Mr. Hebner’s face. I knew this was going to be one of those times I would have to hold the patient’s hand. I was just used to that hand belonging to a patient that was a lot younger.

  I had graduated with my nursing degree a few months ago and had been working at the emergency room ever since. It wasn’t my idea of a long-term job, but it was the first offer I got, and it would give me the experience I needed to work in a private practice someday. As I busied myself, my mind wandered back to Kade. If only healing his wounds were as simple as healing those of the patient we were currently treating—just a stitch or bandage to take away the gaping hole in his heart, a shot of Lidocaine to soothe his pain. I would give anything to be able to help him see through the darkness, but he hadn’t let me in. Not fully.

  I wasn’t sure he would ever be able to.

  Chapter Nine

  Kade

  I sat on the beach as the water washed up around me. I had been there for more than an hour, just taking in the calmness. The cool water felt refreshing as the sun beat down on me. I had left the shop and come straight here, needing the solace of the ocean.

  I wanted Avery to accept my apology. I wanted things to stay friendly between us, because her friendship meant the world to me. But why the hell did her brushing off what happened between us bother me so much? It was an easy out from the mess I’d caused, yet it ate away at me.

  I looked down at the oversized cup in my hand, still over half-full with whiskey. The contents weren’t soothing the ache I felt—the emptiness that set in more and more each day. I knew I’d brushed off Jett, pretending I didn’t need his help. But the truth was, I had to get out of my own head. I was drowning, and I didn’t know how to pull myself out of this fucked-up funk.

  It had been seven days since Avery acted as if what we’d shared was just a hookup—and that she did one-night stands all the time. It shouldn’t bother me, but the entire situation between us was a mind fuck. And it was the total opposite of the outcome I said I wanted.

  I stood up, brushing the sand from my shorts and walked toward my Tahoe that was parked only a few hundred feet away. Maybe a little time with my boy could shed some light on my confusion.

  ***

  As I pulled up at Jett’s house, I could hear the music spilling out from the backyard. I turned off the ignition, grabbed my keys, and walked toward the gate at the side of the house.

  When the pool came into view, I stopped just at the side of the house, where I was hidden by the darkness.

  Jett and Easton were sitting on the deck, holding a bottle of beer each. Avery, Harper, and Quinn were at the side of the pool, dancing around to the music. Callie floated on a raft in the center of the water, laughing at the girls as they hollered out the verses of the song.

  Avery held her hands above her head and twisted them around, wiggling her hips. Quinn matched her movements, like they had practiced them a hundred different times.

  The sounds of Avery’s laughter pulled at something in me. I knew my presence would only take her laughter away. I observed a few minutes longer, loving the sight of her being happy. Harper, Avery, and Quinn were now standing side by side at the edge of the pool, holding hands. They counted to three and then cannonballed into the water right next to Callie. Her raft wobbled in their wake before she fell off the side and went under.

  I chuckled to myself, remembering the time I pulled a cannonball on Jett about a year ago. He was feeling down about his relationship with Quinn, and I was trying to cheer him up. Now I was the one in the dumps, though honestly I had no right to be. I was the one who remained detached and distant. I had caused this mess between me and Avery, so why did it feel so fucked up?

  I quietly slipped away and made my way back to my truck. I wasn’t about to ruin the moment and her mood.

  Suddenly that bottle of whiskey sounded real good.

  ***

  My phone ringing on the table next to my couch woke me. I had drunk myself into oblivion last night and passed out on my couch. It was Saturday morning, and only one person would call this early.

  I didn’t even look at the screen as I swiped my finger across it. “Morning, Mom,” I said, squeezing my eyes closed tightly. Her voice was one of those that went right through you. It was always a few decibels too high, and after the night I’d had, it was going to hit me hard.

  “Kade Russell, what does it take for a mother to get a visit from her only child?” she asked. “Did you forget where I live?”

  I chuckled at her attempt to make me feel bad. Even without seeing her, I knew she was grinning. She always tried to pull off the “wounded, lonely mom” act. “Just been a little crazy, Ma. Sorry.”

  “Well, I made a big ol’ bre
akfast, and I’m giving you until ten to get here. If you don’t show up, I will come over there and drag your ass out.” After that, she hung up, giving me no chance to argue.

  Looked like I’d be having breakfast with my mom.

  Chapter Ten

  Avery

  I sat at the table across from my mom and Robert. They had invited me for lunch, and I needed the distraction. It beat sitting in my apartment, pitying myself.

  There was no use crying over the impossible.

  “How is Kade doing?” Robert’s question caught me off guard, and I choked on the piece of chicken I was attempting to chew. He was the last topic I expected to come up.

  “I guess he’s okay. I mean, I haven’t seen him much over the last several weeks. He stays pretty busy with the shop and everything else.” I used the best excuse I could come up with.

  Robert nodded as he picked at his food. An uncomfortable silence stretched out.

  “We decided to take that Alaskan cruise,” my mom piped up, breaking the silence. “It took a lot of pushing on my part, but this big lug decided giving in was his best option.” She nudged Robert with her shoulder, and he offered her a smile.

  “That’s great,” I said. “When do you leave?”

  My stepfather put his arm over my mother’s shoulders. “We leave next Tuesday, and we’ll be gone for ten days.” He pulled her toward him and kissed her temple. “It’ll be good for us.”

  The comment made me a little nervous. Had they been having problems I wasn’t aware of? I brushed the idea away, because honestly they were almost too perfect to be true sometimes. I was overthinking every situation after my fallout with Kade, and it was easy to let my mind wander. “You both deserve some time away. Take lots of pictures, though,” I insisted.

  “See, um…” My mother leaned forward and placed her arms on the table in front of her. “We purchased three tickets.”

  I looked over her shoulder at my stepfather, who leaned back in his chair next to her, smiling.

  “What do you mean, three tickets?”

  “We want you to come too,” she said. “You’ve worked so hard, and you deserve a little break too.”

  “Mom, I can’t just pick up and leave. I just started at the hospital. Asking for time off so soon…” But even as I said it, I sensed she’d already handled the matter. My mother was best friends with the chief of staff at the hospital, so calling in a favor to get me time off was nothing. I just didn’t like the idea of her using her connections to get me special treatment.

  “Let us do this, Avery,” she said. “We want to do this.”

  Like refusing my mother was a possibility. She’d always been one of those mothers all my friends wished for. She had given up so much to make sure I had an amazing life and never once made me feel like I couldn’t come to her with anything. Even after my father left us, she continued to push forward.

  “I’m sensing you’ve already taken care of the hospital.” I cocked an eyebrow at her, and she and my stepfather smiled in return. “Well then, I better pull out my warmer clothes.”

  ***

  “A seven-day Alaskan cruise?” Quinn asked as I packed the suitcase on my bed.

  I nodded as I mentally counted the pairs of underwear I had compared to the days I would be gone. We had about three days of travel and seven days aboard the cruise ship, so I had to pack for a total of ten.

  “You better pack plenty of those.” She pointed toward the pile of underwear I held in my hand. Then she picked up the box of tampons still lying on the bed and tossed them into my luggage. She was right. I made a mental note to pick up some Pamprin too.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked. “Ya know, with the whole Kade situation.”

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I assured her. “I mean, I miss his friendship. But he’s just got too many things in his head to offer anything to anyone. He needs to sort all that out. Maybe one day he’ll find someone that can make him happy.”

  “Ten days is a long time,” she pouted. “I’m gonna miss ya.”

  Quinn was more of a sister to me than just a friend. We grew up together, and I couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t by my side.

  “I promise, I’ll call.” I laughed as she tossed the panty liners in my suitcase too.

  “Well, of all the weeks you could be gone, this will be the perfect one. You’re a bitch when it’s your time of the month.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her, but I couldn’t argue. I really was awful during that time.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kade

  I’d spent the last week fighting the urge to drink. My mother had read me the riot act when I showed up at her place looking like I’d been on a week-long drinking binge. I knew if I didn’t straighten up she would lay my ass out. My mom may be tiny, but she packed one hell of a punch. She spent a lot of years taking shit from me and had reached her limit long ago. These days, she had little tolerance for my self-pity and poor choices.

  Instead of drinking, I buried myself in the shop, taking myself out of boss mode and handling all the work I could. I needed the distraction. If my hands weren’t busy with tools, they were itching to grab the nearest bottle of alcohol.

  I couldn’t help thinking about Avery every time I looked over at my Mustang, for more than one reason. The way she told me the story about the movie she’d watched, something with Nicholas Cage in it, and her enthusiasm as she explained in detail the meaning behind it was cute.

  So after closing the shop down for the day, I stopped by the rental store in search of this car movie. I spent five minutes trying to describe it to the guy behind the counter. He looked at me like I was insane until some girl overheard me and told me the movie’s name was Gone in Sixty Seconds. She then led me right to it.

  I hadn’t sat down to watch a movie in a long time. I considered calling Avery but decided that was a bad idea. I didn’t need to keep playing with her head. So I sat through the movie and smiled from ear to ear during the scene she’d told me about that night, where Nicholas Cage called the Mustang his unicorn.

  The need to see her became even stronger.

  Going against all my better judgement, I turned the movie off and stood from the couch, then grabbed my keys from the hook on the wall just to the left side of the front door.

  I drove my truck to the shop and parked just to the right of the garage door. After unlocking the side door, I went straight for the Shelby, and for the first time since my father passed, I fired up the engine. The purr sent an excited chill through my body as I eased it out of the garage. In that moment, the joy I felt made me think of Avery. After I exited the garage, I jumped out to lock the shop back up before I drove toward her apartment. There, I pulled into the space next to her car and killed the engine, then took the pizza I’d stopped for along the way from the passenger seat and climbed out of the car.

  My stomach tightened as I approached the door. I wasn’t sure if she would even open it when she saw me on the other side. Taking a chance, I knocked on the door. When it went unanswered, I tried once more, but my loud knocking only gained the attention of her neighbor.

  “She’s not home.” The young brunette offered as she poked her head out the door. “She left a few days ago, and I know she said she would be gone for ten days total.”

  My stomach dropped. “Do you know where she went?”

  “Some guy picked her up and took her on some cruise. Not sure where.” She offered me a kind smile, and I nodded before stepping away and walking back to my car, disposing of the pizza in the dumpster along the way.

  Knowing she left with another guy irritated me more than I had the right to be, and knowing she was on a cruise ship, probably in the arms of another man, made my blood boil. The knowledge that I could have prevented this all from happening if I hadn’t acted like a dumbass in the first place only pissed me off even more.

  I’d pushed her away time and time again, and now she’d found someone willing to give back what I couldn
’t.

  I only had myself to blame.

  Chapter Twelve

  Avery

  I’d been on the cruise ship for five days now, and there were two more to go before my feet were once again planted on solid ground. I was not cut out for this. I was motion sick after the first day. The waves and the swaying, oh my God. I needed it all to stop, because this was a very, very bad idea.

  Don’t get me wrong. The ocean was beautiful, like nothing I had ever seen before, but I’d prefer to have my feet on flat land. I spent most of my time hovering over the toilet or lying in bed, sleeping away my days.

  I had just gotten out of the shower and was scheduled to meet my parents for dinner in less than an hour. The idea of food only turned my stomach more, but I was going to give it a shot. I’d opened up my suitcase in search of a bra and panties when my gaze landed on the package of tampons tucked securely to the side of all my socks. The calculations began immediately in my head. I should have been almost halfway through my period, yet I was looking down at the unopened box.

  Panic shot through me, and I frantically searched for my phone. When I found it, I pulled up my calendar, and my heart immediately sank, only making me feel more uneasy.

  “Oh shit,” I mumbled.

  I was four days late. I was never late.

  ***

  I had spent the last couple of days in a haze, still silently praying for my period to arrive while the tampons in my luggage still sat unopened. My stomach was in knots.