Fighting For Our Forever

by Heidi McLaughlin

The drive to the airport usually takes about an hour, but with no traffic Fletcher gets us there in forty-five minutes. He drops us off curbside and tells us to wait for him while he goes to park the car. I’m thankful he had the wherewithal to do this because Evelyn is still out cold.

  “Shit, I forgot to put her shoes on,” I say aloud as I start going through her bag. Luckily her flip flops are in there, but I decide to hold onto them until after she goes through security.

  When Fletcher comes back, he reaches for Evelyn and picks her up. “You don’t have to.” I tell him, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

  “It’ll be easier for me to carry her while we walk to security.”

  “Maybe you can try to wake her up before we get there. I don’t think they’ll let you carry her through the detectors.”

  Our airport is small and there aren’t too many people traveling this morning, so it doesn’t take us long to get through the line and to the TSA agent who checks our identification and boarding passes. Somehow Fletcher manages to get Evelyn to wake up, although the scowl on her face looks like she’s about to start the next world war.

  By the time we’re called to board, Evelyn’s awake but moody. I’m silently kicking Dhara in the rear for suggesting an early morning flight. I get it, we want to get to the other coast as early as possible but I’m not sure this was such a good idea for Evelyn.

  I get her situated in her seat with her pillow and blanket and tell her that once we’re up in the air she can have some breakfast. Except she never makes it that far because she’s out like a light before the plane takes off and so am I.

  By the time the plane lands, I’m second-guessing the trip. It’s nice to get away, but the only reason I would come out here is to see Ajay and knowing that our visit is only a few short hours makes this trip really not seems worth the hassle. Dhara should’ve asked her friends from work to go with her. I wouldn’t have been upset at all.

  There is, however, one shining light right now: Evelyn’s awake and pulling her luggage behind her while she carries her stuffed elephant. I have to stop every few feet to remind her to keep walking because something catches her attention.

  “There’s a car waiting for us,” Dhara says as we make our way toward the exit. When we step outside, I take in the many cars waiting for everyone. The traffic at the airport alone is insane.

  I grab hold of Evelyn’s hand and tell her not to let go as we follow Dhara through the mob of people. They bump into us without any regard for our well-being. I don’t like it and I’m ready to turn around and go back home. But I know having those thoughts is not productive. If I want to be with Ajay, this is where I have to be, unless I want us to live apart. I don’t. I want a chance at the fairytale I thought I was getting when I turned eighteen. Of course, in my mind that fairytale didn’t include one of the busiest airports and the feeling of helplessness I have going on right now.

  “Mommy, why does that man have our name on his paper?” Evelyn stops us in our tracks and points to a man holding a sign that says, “Foster.”

  “I’m sure he’s waiting for someone else. We’re going with Auntie Dhara,” I say as I turn to follow her.

  “Actually, you’re not.” That voice, the one I’ve known and have had memorized for most of my life, has me frozen in spot. I turn slowly to find Ajay standing there with a bouquet of roses and a stuffed Minnie Mouse toy in his hands.

  “Ajay,” I say softly. He steps forward, leans down, and places the roses strategically between us.

  “Can I kiss you?” he asks quietly. I nod and tilt my head toward him, welcoming the soft sensation of his lips against mine. He pulls away far too soon.

  “I thought I wasn’t going to see you until tomorrow.”

  He smiles shyly and drops the roses from shielding me. I know he did it so Evelyn wouldn’t see us kiss, and I love him a little bit more for that.

  “That was a ruse,” he says as my mouth drops open. “Dhara and I have been in cahoots to get you and Miss Evelyn out here.”

  “So, she’s not going to the concert?”

  “Oh no,” his eyes go wide, “She is, but you’re not unless you want to.”

  “I don’t think I want to. And you’re here the whole time we are?”

  He nods, leans forward, and kisses me on my cheek before dropping down to his knees to face Evelyn. “Hi, do you remember me?”

  Evelyn turns shyly into my leg. Ajay shows her the stuffed Minnie and she takes it slowly. “I’m Ajay, a friend of your mom’s.”

  “I know,” she says.

  “And I was wondering if you’d like to go meet Mickey and Minnie Mouse tomorrow.” My eyes go wide, but he’s not even paying attention to me. “You see, they’re friends of mine and have asked me to ask you if you’d like to come have breakfast with them tomorrow?”

  Evelyn looks at with the widest eyes possible. “Mommy, can I?”

  I nod and crouch down. “I think you have to tell Ajay that you want to go.”

  “I do, Ajay. I really, really do.”

  “Well okay, then. But first we have to go to my house. I have some friends who want to meet you. Do you mind if I carry your suitcase for you?”

  “Nope,” she says happily. Ajay points to the car we’re going to ride in — it’s a limo where the man standing by the car is sure enough holding a sign with our name on it. “See, Mommy,” she says when she reaches the man. “It is for us!”

  Ajay steps closer and hands me the roses. I lean in and smell their heavenly scent. “These are beautiful.”

  “Not nearly as beautiful as you.”

  “You’re biased,” I remind him.

  He nods and reaches for my bag. “I’m happy you’re here, Whiskey.”

  I turn in front of him and place my hand on his side, clutching at his t-shirt. “I almost didn’t come but the thought of seeing you for five hours when I haven’t seen you for six weeks was too good to pass up.”

  “I’ve had some things that I needed to take care of here first,” he tells me. “But now I’m all yours until you decide to leave.”

  Until I decide to leave. Not when I leave or at the end of my trip, he’s just left our relationship completely open ended with one comment.

  Ajay and I get into the limo, only to find Evelyn sprawled out on one of the bench seats. I remind her that she still needs to put her seatbelt on, and she does, along with putting one on Minnie Mouse. I send a text to Dhara, thanking her and promising that we’ll find a way to meet up later. She sends a picture back of her and Fletcher, drinking champagne in the back of a car and tells me to have fun and enjoy the drummer and his stick. She’s utterly ridiculous.

  But she’s right, I do want to enjoy him. I put my phone away and rest my head against the back of the seat, angling myself so I can stare at him. It takes him a moment until he mimics my position. My hand reaches for his and he holds it without hesitation. It feels good to hold his hand, and while I know Evelyn’s watching me and I need to explain to her that this man is the love of my life and part of our future, I don’t want to stop looking at him.

  With my free hand, I reach over and stroke his cheek. He leans into my touch and kisses my palm.

  “We’re almost at my place,” he says.

  “I thought you lived with your friends.”

  He shakes his head. “I rented a condo. It’s not on the beach, but it has a pool and a playground. It’s a gated community so people can’t just come and go. There are sidewalks so Evelyn can ride her bike.”

  “Ajay, I didn’t bring her bike. Just enough clothes for a few days.”

  He nods and smiles. “I bought her a bike with training wheels and a helmet. She has clothes hanging in her room. Miss Katelyn bought them for her, along with Elle and Peyton. They also bought you some clothes, with Dhara’s input, in case you want to stay longer.”

  He’s left me speechless and in complete awe. When I last saw him, he was unsure about how this would work between us, but it seems like he’s pulling out all
the stops to show us that we can live together as a family.

  29

  Ajay

  Telling Whiskey about the condo I’m renting and how the James’s went shopping for the girls in my life is something for me to be proud of, but the real highlight comes when I watch Whiskey’s face as we drive through the complex and pull into my driveway.

  Of course, as soon as the limo parks, Chandler’s outside and waiting in my yard for us to get out of the car.

  “Who’s that?” Evelyn asks as she gets out and stands next to me. I half expected her to leave her Minnie Mouse in the car, but she’s holding on to her tightly. Better yet, she’s talking to me and that makes me feel good. I want her to like me — no, I want her to love me — because I want to be in her life as her dad. I want her to grow up knowing she had a dad that wanted to be in her life.

  “That’s my friend, Chandler. Her dad and I work together.”

  “Oh,” Evelyn says.

  “Chandler this is Evelyn. Do you want to show her where she can put her stuff?”

  Chandler nods and comes forward, reaching for Evelyn’s hand. “Your room is pink, come on let me show you.” Evelyn looks back at me, making me wonder if she’s seeking my approval or wants me to follow. I choose to follow and pull Whiskey right along behind me.

  “Is this Keane’s daughter?” Whiskey asks me quietly.

  “Yep, when the place next to him became available he told me about it and I put in an application.” We follow the girls in, and as much as I want to show Whiskey around, I want to see how Evelyn likes her room. Chandler is talking to her the entire time they’re climbing the stairs to the second floor, telling her about the playground and that there’s a bunch of kids to play with. Chandler talks about the swimming pool and how she takes lessons there a couple days a week and asked Evelyn if she wants to go swimming with her.

  Evelyn doesn’t answer her and I think it’s because she’s stepped into her room. I wish I could take credit for the room, but I can’t. It was all Miss Katelyn and Peyton, explaining little girls love pink, but it was Chandler who suggested the daisy comforter to go with the white bed because girls like flowers too.

  “Ajay…” Whiskey gasps. Her hand is covering her mouth as she takes in the bedroom. “You did all of this for her?”

  I nod and wrap my arm around her shoulders. “I want her to love it here.”

  “And what about me?” she asks.

  I motion her to follow me down the hall. The room next to Evelyn’s is mostly empty minus my new drum kit. I show her the bathroom, which has a stepstool in there for Evelyn so she can reach the sink, and finally the bedroom at the end of the hall.

  “Wow,” she says as she steps into the master bedroom. The king size four poster bed is in the center of the room with a white and navy color duvet. There are windows on each side of the room — one facing the front and the other facing the back of the condo. The walk-in closet is separated nicely with my clothes on one side, and her new things on the other. Her fingertips trail over the hangers of her new garments as she walks into the bathroom Where there’s a stand-up shower built for two and a jacuzzi tub, along with a place for her to do her make-up.

  “Ajay, this house is amazing.”

  “It’s a good start,” I tell her as I lean against the counter.

  “A start? I’d say this is a home.”

  “You haven’t seen the rest of it. Come on, I’ll show you.” I take her hand and we head back down the hall, stopping briefly to check in on the girls, who are on the floor playing with the dolls I ordered to make sure Evelyn had things to do while she’s here. I know it’s only for a few days, but I want her to be comfortable.

  Downstairs I show Whiskey the living room with the sectional couch we always talked about owning because we said that we’d host parties once we had our own house and need the seating.

  “Is there anything you haven’t thought of or remembered?” she asks.

  “No, I have a fairly good memory.”

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  Our next stop is the half bath, the laundry room, and I even show her the linen closet before taking her into the kitchen. She runs her fingers along the stainless appliances and stretches her arms over the granite countertop.

  “I think I’m in love.”

  “Hopefully with me,” I say as I pull her into my arms. My hand cups her cheek and I guide her until our lips press together. I try to keep things PG, not wanting to heat up the kitchen, especially with the girls upstairs, but it’s hard. I’m beyond happy that she’s here, in my house which I want her to consider her own.

  “Did you do all of this for me?”

  “For us. For Evelyn. I know I said before I left that I won’t ask you to uproot your life and interrupt hers, but I want you here. I know I’m not her dad, but I want to be, and I want us to be husband and wife… maybe even expand our family someday if that’s something you would want.”

  The words I’ve said to her are heavy and full of life changes. I’m talking about us having a baby, living life here, and asking her to accept my crazy schedule.

  “I want to tell Saul to withdraw the divorce petition — just say ‘fuck it’ and stay married. And I want to adopt Evelyn if she’ll have me as her dad.”

  “Ajay,” again she gasps my name, and I can’t wait to hear it again later while we’re in bed. “I really don’t know what to say.”

  “Don’t say anything. You have a few days here. You can observe how I am with Evelyn and the two of you can make a decision later. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “But you’re moving to Bailey?”

  As much as it pains me, I shake my head. “I can visit, but it would be for a month here and there and that’s not the kind of life we want. When it comes to you, I know that much for sure.”

  “You’re right, but I also have my parents to consider.”

  I push her hair behind her ear and gaze into her eyes. There have been times lately when I wished my life was different, and this moment is one of them. I’d love to pack up and move to Bailey to be with her but it’s not possible. I’m living my dream butWhiskey’s my dream too. Somehow the two need to mesh so we’re all happy.

  “Would you like to go for a walk?”

  “Yeah, that would be nice,” she says. I head upstairs and gather the girls, text Keane to let him know that Chandler is coming with us, and usher the girls outside.

  Whiskey and I hold hands while the girls walk in front of us. Besides their height difference, you can’t really tell there’s two years between them. I like that Chandler is trying to make Evelyn feel welcomed. I want Evelyn to feel like she has friends here. She may only be five, but it’s important to feel wanted at any age.

  We walk along as a family, laughing and joking until we reach the pool. Evelyn wants to swim but Whiskey tells her that she can go later, maybe after dinner. I haven’t told her yet that everyone plans to come over tonight. It wasn’t my idea, but Miss Katelyn’s. She said that it’s important for Whiskey to know what she’s getting into with this band stuff. The band is a family, who spends a lot of time together, and if Whiskey can’t handle it, it might be better to know now as opposed to later. I don’t agree or disagree, but just follow her advice because I trust her implicitly.

  By the time we make it around the subdivision, Evelyn’s tired. I offer to carry her, expecting her to tell me no, but she raises her arms so I can pick her up. I’m even further surprised as she rests her head on my shoulder and wraps her arms around me.

  When we get back to the house, Chandler says she’s going to go home. I walk past mine to make sure she gets in okay before turning back and meeting Whiskey at the now full driveway.

  “Where did all these cars come from?” she asks.

  “Well, that’s the next surprise. I think everyone is here for an early dinner before they head over to the Hollywood Bowl for the concert.”

  “Liam Page is inside your house?”

  I nod and wonder
why she chose to mention him over the others.

  “Oh man, Dhara’s going to kill me if I meet him first.” Whiskey takes off toward the door, laughing. I trail behind her and by the time I step in, Miss Katelyn is already hugging my girl. She takes over introducing Whiskey to everyone… and I do mean everyone. It seems everyone important to me is here to meet my girls, including Noah, who is in town visiting as well.

  Up until this moment, I thought my condo was fairly large. I was wrong. With all my band family inside of it, the living room and kitchen feel incredibly small.

  Evelyn picks up her head and looks around the room. I think I’ve figured her out; she’s shy until she feels comfortable enough around new people.

  “Do you want me to put you down?” I ask her but she shakes her head. “How about I take you around and introduce you to everyone? You can tell Miss Katelyn and Miss Peyton thank you for your pretty room.”

  “They did that?”

  “They sure did. They picked out all the colors and I painted it for you. Do you like it?”

  “I do.”

  I walk over to Katelyn and introduce her to Evelyn. “I have a wiggly tooth,” she says, showing Katelyn which tooth is loose. “My mommy says I’ll lose it any day now.”

  “Oh boy, we will have to call the tooth fairy and tell her where you are so she can come visit you when you do.”

  “Ajay, will the tooth fairy come here?”

  “Of course,” I say, trying to reassure her.

  After we make our rounds and she meets everyone, she wiggles to get down. I watch as she goes from person to person, each one of them falling for her charm… the same charm her mother got me with so many years ago.

  Josie and Katelyn recruit Whiskey to help them in the kitchen, while JD and Harrison man the grill. Whiskey fills Liam in on Dhara while he’s in the kitchen with her and tells him how she’s been a fan forever. Liam promises to give her the red-carpet treatment at the show tonight.

  Outside, I hang with the guys. Harrison hands me a beer from the cooler, but I pass, opting for water. I don’t know if Whiskey drinks in front of her daughter and I don’t really want to put us in an awkward situation.