by Fifi Flowers
“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t a happy subject, and it was a lifetime ago, I was happy when she changed gears a bit. “So the greenhouses, your passion? Something you keep to yourself, afraid to share them with anyone?”
I sensed a double meaning in her last question. “Maybe, I hadn’t really thought about it that way. You didn’t ask to see inside, I refuse to push anyone…”
Stopping my words, I watched her move from her reclining spot onto my lap. With her arms and legs wrapping around me, her face up close to mine, looking straight into my eyes she spoke. “I think everything in here is so enchanting. I see so much love everywhere I look. It’s amazing, you’re amazing. I could live in this space forever.”
Those were the only words I needed to hear. I silenced her with my mouth, holding her tightly to me. I knew for certain in that moment that I would never let her go again. I was done running from her, from love.
“You are the truly amazing one, Jade,” I said as I began to pull her shirt over her head and then mine. No bra on, our skin melted together. “You are so talented and I would let you live in here forever.” All of my next words were said between kisses to her cheeks, forehead, eye lids, neck and lips. “You. Feel. So. Fucking. Good.”
She giggled, “You feel pretty good yourself.” And those were the last audibly, coherent words that escaped her mouth as I began to worship every inch of her body. Although, I did think I heard a couple of moans that sounded a lot like “love,” but they could’ve been directed to the orgasms that erupted within her. “More,” I definitely understood.
Listening to her, I moved away and stood to remove my own clothing as I looked down at her spread out perfectly. Probably not the most comfortable ground to be on, but it didn’t stop us the first or the last time that I pushed into her.
“God, I’ve missed you.” My words were clear, distinct, I wanted to know every good thing about her. No more walls, I thought, as hers tighten around me and pulled me deeper in. Well, those slick walls were a must, the emotional ones were not. “So tight. So wet. So perfect. So mine.” And there it was, I was like a miner that had struck gold for the first time and I was claiming it.
Apparently, she was okay with that as she said, “Yes, I’m all yours.”
Brave, I decided that I would take her back to my house, it was time. She loved my greenhouses, she thought I was amazing, that was close enough to a declaration of love. I was ready, I wanted to spend the night with her. I couldn’t continue to sneak in and out of her room, I wasn’t fooling anyone—they all knew how I felt about Jade, even if I wasn’t shouting the words like a morning rooster. “Come on, let’s get out of here. We’ll go to my house.” I attempted to pull her up from the ground.
She shook her head, staying in place. “Hey, I don’t need to go to your cabin.” She was giving me an out. I needed to explain and if she wanted… acted like she wanted to see it, I would take her there, even though I was still a wee bit apprehensive. Crazy, after everything I had just admitted in my head, I should’ve wanted her in my home and in my bed.
Sitting across from her, I wanted to explain. “I’ve never had anyone back to my house. It’s not because of you. It’s a private space. The only woman that has been in it is Hank’s Ginnylee. When I first moved in, I slept in the spare room, it felt so wrong. It was his room… their room.”
“Eventually, you moved into it?”
“No, I had the house reconfigured completely. I made two spare rooms upstairs into a master suite. The existing master room was on the ground floor so I made it into a game/theatre room. I didn’t stop there. I redid everything little by little over the last two years. Hank wouldn’t recognize it if he were to walk in the front door. Funny, I think he’d totally understand. We were a lot alike in many ways. He remodeled and expanded the place before he took it over from the former owner.” I let out a little laugh and shook my head imagining him coming inside the cabin in its newer state.
My vision disappeared as she moved to get up and began to dress standing in front of me, prettiest sight ever. “You really don’t have to explain to me,” she said as I stood and pulled my clothes on too. “I’m perfectly happy to take you back to my bunk, cowboy, and take advantage of you.”
Laughing, I pulled her in for a kiss, then gathered up her things and we headed for the stables.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Jade
As much as I wanted to take Sage up on his offer to sleep in his house, I wanted it to be something special. A formal invitation without stationery. Not just a, “let’s go back to my place.” Besides it was kind of fun being in his old stable room. Sneaking up the stairs made me feel a little bit more dirty… naughty cowgirl. Ha! I was fine with our situation for the time being.
In the greenhouse he had given me what I wanted. He had opened up to me, stopped running away from me. His story told me that he was afraid to give his heart to someone again. I had never given mine to anyone, I would give it to him gladly—all he had to do was ask. Meeting him, loving him was all new to me. For the first time in my life, I understood what my grandmother told me about love and marriage and what it was like to find the one that fit you perfectly. She always said that I would know by my own actions. That you had to be yourself with that person and you had to let them be who they were. You were two individual people coming together. You didn’t complete each other, you complimented each other. I believed that was true for us.
Our night spent together in my room was different…
Every move.
Every kiss.
Every touch.
Everything was charged with raw emotion.
I stilled the words that were dangling on my lips. Instead, I held on for dear life until the sun was visible. Breaking his usual ritual, he did not sneak out of the building and head to his house, he took a shower in the barn with me. He said it brought back some old memories. Although, he had never had a woman wrapped around his waist as I was. Dried off, he dressed in his denims and pulled on a t-shirt I had stolen from him. Then hand in hand, he walked with me to breakfast. A new beginning!
Finishing his meal before me, he kissed the top of my head, and went to his office to do a bit of work. Once I had filled my empty tummy, I went to meet him.
Seeing Sage behind his desk engulfed in paperwork and a bit frazzled, I excused myself. Something big appeared to be going down and I think he was thankful that I left him to sort it out. His expressions wandered from sadness to pure rage. I had noticed that more and more, he seemed to be lost in his thoughts. At first it was when he had stepped into his business boots. Then lately, even when he was outdoors doing his beloved activities, he had a worried look that snubbed out his usual smiling face. I wanted to ask him questions to try to help, but something held me back. I figured if he wanted me to know what was bothering him, he would’ve shared with me.
Whatever it was, I left him to it and opted for a stroll down to the lake. Content, I wandered along snapping photos of what Mother Nature had created with my phone. I had probably collected at least a million wildflower pictures since I’d arrived. I loved all the flowers around the property and often bundled some together to place in a vase, to decorate my room. Even Sage had brought me some, it was how I ended up with a glass vase to begin with. I couldn’t get over how beautiful they were and how many there were everywhere.
Turning around to capture a butterfly flitting by, I noticed a blonde woman off in the distance sitting on the number five bench. She looked so pretty gazing out toward the water, I snapped a picture, and walked toward her. Close to her, I stopped, and my mouth fell open as I heard a man on a horse come up behind me. I turned and looked up at him, then started to walk on. Slipped off his horse, Sage walked alongside of me.
When we had gotten right up behind the seated woman, I asked in authoritative voice, “What are you doing here?”
“Don’t be rude, I invited her here,” he answered before she could speak.
“Invited her? How?�
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“She comes to the ranch to getaway. She hasn’t been here in a few years. She’s here to help me fight against the Griffin twins.”
“Twins?” I turned back to face him. “You know her?”
“Yes, I’ve told you about her and Hank. She used to be here every summer.”
“Every summer? Hank and her?” I shook my head, trying to grasp what he was saying. Trying to remember the stories I’d been hearing.
“Jade, this is Miss Ginnylee.”
“No! This is Jinxie!”
“What?!” Sage stood shocked and silent looking between me and Jinxie. She had yet to say a word.
“The romance you told me about was with my mother!”
“Your mother…” Sage’s words trailed off as I turned away from him completely.
“Surfing safari? Rendezvous with a cowboy? Is this Hank guy my father? The mysterious owner of the ranch.” As the words spilled out from my mouth, it finally sunk in, hit me. All of the things Sage had been telling me, all of the things that had been going on behind my back as I was growing up, were about my mother and her cowboy lover. My brain was frazzled.
Standing up, moving closer to me, she finally spoke, but barely. “Yes, but…”
Sage cut her off, “Holy shit! Hank is her father?”
I didn’t give her a chance either. “You’ve come to see him every year? You’ve denied me a relationship with my father?”
“You have.” Jinxie finally uttered a couple words before I continued to speak.
“I have what?” I wanted answers, but at the same time I had so much I wanted to say to her. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run, but running wasn’t the right thing to do. I’d watched my mother run off enough. I stayed and listened.
“You’ve had a relationship with your father since you were born.”
“What?” What the hell was she talking about? The only man in my life besides my grandpa was… Carson.
“Hank is Carson,” Sage was mumbling under his breath, talking to us or talking to himself, I wasn’t sure. “The ranch was his escape. He bought it under his real name, Hank Griffin.” Did Sage know who I was all along? I stared at him. I didn’t know whether to lash out at him… or her… or both of them. I felt like screaming again, I felt like crying—neither appeared as I continued to speak with barely any emotion.
“You knew?!” I asked Sage in an accusing tone. He just looked at me with a bewildered look on his face, and I lashed out at him more. “You knew that I knew Carson. You knew that Hank was Carson, Carson was Hank.”
He nodded his head, “I did know that you knew Carson, but…” his words fell off.
“You suspected me? You thought I was here to try to steal the ranch from you? All the stories you told me about a possible daughter?” How could he think that of me? How could he not trust me? I didn’t come to the ranch. I was drawn in by him.
“Sage didn’t know,” Jinxie was quick to defend him. “He is finding out about you now. Hank is the only one that knew… or suspected. He always begged me to admit that you were his, I wouldn’t.”
“How could you do that to me?” I asked as a lone tear escaped from my eye and trailed down my cheek. I was sure that more tears would follow as she began to tell her story… their story… my story.
“I had a crush on Carson as a kid. My crush grew stronger the older I got. I hated when he brought girlfriends down to grandpa’s house. It nearly killed me when he had me teach his two bastards to surf while he and his girlfriend, their mother, sat cozily on the beach. She didn’t give a shit about him, nor did his twin boys. She talked him in… shamed him into marriage, then once they were married for over ten years she left him, taking a large chunk of his money. He told me that he had only married her to do the right thing. That he had never loved her, I was so happy.” She stopped to wipe a couple tears from her face, Sage handed her a handkerchief, and she continued.
“When I graduated high school, I was eighteen, legal, and ready to go after him. He had told grandpa that he was getting away to a ranch he had bought. I had listened to every detail. With my VW bus packed with surfboards, I took off for the ranch. It took me almost the entire summer to convince him that I loved him. He finally gave in and… gave me you, unbeknownst to either of us. My parents weren’t happy with me, to say the least, but they supported my decision and they have always helped me raise you.” She walked back to the bench and sat down, I followed.
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?” She shook her head, patting the seat. Reluctantly, I moved from behind the bench and sat down as far from her as I could get.
“Carson always came to see grandpa. He got a big surprise on one of his visits when he saw me wearing a bikini with a big, round belly. He was not happy with me. I had told him I loved him, that I’d always loved him and that I would love him forever. Then turned around and got myself knocked up by someone else. On the day you were born, he was in town and working out the math in his head, he refused to leave the hospital until he saw you. He recognized some similar features to him right away. He asked me if you were his, I denied it, but he wasn’t dumb. He let me have my way, but he never missed one of your milestones.” She was right. Funny. Sad. I had always thought of Carson as the father I never had.
“We spent summers with him at the ranch until your vocabulary expanded. I was afraid that my parents would question your jabbering. You were always so vocal, such a little smarty…” her voice trailed as if she was picturing me young. A memory?
“Why not tell Tex and Bonnie?”
“Grandpa and Carson were best friends, I didn’t want to come between them. Grandpa was always adamant about me staying away from the Hollywood scene. Once I mentioned that I wanted to act like him, he literally came unglued. Then I really threw him for a loop with my favorite song. I swear he turned the darkest shade of red every time I hummed or sang I wanna be a cowgirl, so you can be my cowboy…” She sang it as she always did and laughed. “He always said, ‘you don’t want a damn cowboy.’ He was wrong, I always wanted one certain cowboy, make-believe or not.”
“Hank was a real cowboy,” Sage interjected. She turned toward him and smiled.
Nodding her head, she agreed, “Yes, he was. And a real gentleman. So loyal. He kept my… our secret protected for a little more than thirty years.” I watched her reach her hand back and rub the bench plaque.
“That’s about to change,” Sage interrupted and Jinxie looked up at him, dabbing under her reddened, bluish green eyes.
“Why?” I looked between them like they had some other secret that I was about to hear. Would the secrets ever stop? How much more could I take?
“Carson’s sons are trying to take the ranch,” Sage answered.
“You said that Hank willed you the property?”
“He did, but there was a clause. They claim that it proves Hank wanted the ranch to be in the hands of a relative. With the resurgent popularity of Carson Crosby, thanks to him being digitally added to a couple recent films, his assets have become more valuable, according to the twins’ attorneys.”
“What clause?” I asked, but Sage remained silent.
Jinxie spoke up, “If Hank’s daughter ever stepped forward the ranch would be hers to claim.” I glanced at both of them.
“I don’t want to take the ranch away from Sage.”
“There are stipulations that protect Sage’s interest. You can’t take it from him. And you can’t sell it, unless you both agreed. Ownership would be shared. I came to help prove that they have no rights, that his daughter did… does exist. I brought your birth certificate, Jade. On that piece of paper I didn’t deny Carson, both of his names are on it.” She looked down briefly, before stating powerfully, “Those bastards will not get their hands on this ranch.”
That word bastard shot straight up my spine. I had heard it on a few occasions growing up when grade-school kids found out that I didn’t have a daddy. “Guess they could call me the same.”
“No, you were conceived in love. They were out of greed, that starlet bitch trapped him. She got pregnant with the twins on purpose, she wanted her hooks in him when he started getting media attention.” She took a few deep breaths. “He’s… his estate is about to get more notice. Sage is right, so are you, but I can’t let them take this ranch. That’s why I flew in as soon as the lawyers contacted Sage that the twins might weasel their way in on a technicality.”
“It’s Sage’s ranch. He can’t lose it.” I loved him enough to put him first. I would let her expose me to the world and to my grandparents. “Do Tex and Bonnie know?”
“Not yet. I had no idea you were here. This will make things a whole lot messier and easier—a simple blood test will back up the birth certificate, DNA even better. The paperwork I thought would halt things, but I say let’s throw it all at them. I was going to call you after I met with Sage. I was going to rent a car and drive to where, I thought, you were working. Guess you’re more like me than I thought, off on your own summer adventure… romance.” I noticed her looking from me up to Sage who was standing behind me.
Suddenly, I felt like I was about to give up my lunch. “I don’t feel well. I need to lie down.” Standing slowly, I looked at both of them one last time, then took off walking at a fast pace. I needed air. I needed space. And I didn’t want to get sick in front of them. “Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up,” I told myself all the way to the stable. Inside my private quarters, I let my tears loose along with my last meal.
I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. The morning had started out so great and then… then everything turned to utter confusion. My mind was reeling and my tummy was churning. All of the stories Sage had been telling. The couple he idolized. The people he thought of as family… they were my parents. Their great love had created me. All of my life, my father had been present? What the hell! I felt… felt… numb in a way that I wasn’t sure how or what to feel. What happened now? Where did I go? The ranch was part of my father… my mother… where I was conceived. I had been on the ranch as a toddler. I had an instant calmness envelope me, a true feeling of belonging since I had arrived a couple months ago. What did I do now?
