Naked Choke (A Stepbrother MMA Romance)

by Loren, Celia

  I raise one arm to steady myself against the slippery tile wall as he works his tongue back and forth across me. I've never had sex in a shower before, but I like the sensation of the hot water pouring over my head and relaxing me, while Austen winds me up down below. He nudges my legs a little farther apart and I feel him press two fingers inside me, slowly bringing them up and down, and then circling them when he knows he's found my g-spot.

  That telltale ache begins to throb deep within me and I moan. I pick up the hem of my dress and pull it over my head, dropping it with a wet thwap next to the drain. Austen stands up, understanding my signal, and pulls his boxers down and nudges them away from his feet. His hands slide over my hips and he turns me ninety degrees, pressing my back up against the cool tile. He grabs my right leg and hooks it up and around his lower back as his mouth finds mine. Our tongues find each other as I feel his cock pushing inside me.

  I feel a jolt of pleasure as he presses in and raise my leg slightly, trying to find the best technique for this new position. There. He's fully inside me, my knee bent around his waist, and our bodies pressed tightly against one another. He pulls his hips back and thrusts inside me again. I moan as he hits his depth against my g-spot and revel in the feeling of fullness. Again he pulls out and then thrusts back inside me. Again, again.

  My head drops forward against his shoulder and my lips find his skin. I surprise myself by biting the muscle by his neck, but hear him groan appreciatively in response. My hands dig into his wet hair as his slide under my ass, pulling my leg a little wider to give him more access. The pleasure pounding in my veins begins to centralize, building to a throbbing peak around his cock.

  I shake as I come, grabbing onto his back for support so I don't lose my balance completely. With a groan, he releases himself inside me. We gasp for air against each other, and he releases my leg and pulls out. I pull away from the cold tile wall and shelter against his chest as he moves back into the stream of the hot water. My head jerks up with a realization.

  "You OK?"

  "Mm," I murmur. "I just…I've never had sex without a condom before."

  He glances down at me, eyes wide. "Shit. Shit, I'm sorry. I got caught up in the moment. What do you—"

  "I went with Maya to a clinic a few weeks ago," I stop him, trailing my fingers over his smattering of chest hair. "But you're, um, clean?"

  "Yeah, but I think we should keep using them, just in case."

  "Oh. OK," I shrug. Just in case? I thought guys never liked using condoms. I push it out of my mind for now, but make a mental note to ask Maya's opinion about it later.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I run my fingers around the edges of the colorful packet I picked up from the University of Denver. I didn't want to throw it away at the house, where my mom might spy it in the trash can, so I waited until I came to work to throw it away in the parking lot's public bin.

  I push the lid open and slide the pamphlet in with a sigh. It's just not practical. I don't know how to picture my life if I went through with it, and that scares me.

  "Whatcha doing?" I hear behind me, and groan as I recognize Logan's voice. I don't want him to get on my case right now about tossing the pamphlet.

  "You are way too light on your feet," I tell him as I turn around.

  "Thank you. That's a good thing for a fighter."

  "Yeah, I didn't mean it as a compliment."

  "I know." I smile, glad we can rib each other again. His phone rings from his sweatshirt pocket, but he doesn't look down at it.

  "You going to get that?" I ask quizzically.

  "No," he replies quickly, then clears his throat awkwardly. "It's Sara," he adds, as though that explains anything.

  "Uh-huh."

  "It's—forget it."

  "No, I mean, you can tell me," I say, unsure of how to negotiate this terrain with him. It's been almost a month since she came to dinner, and as far as I knew their relationship was still going strong.

  "It's just, I know what she's going to say. She wants me to spend less time at the gym, more time with her."

  "Well, you do arrive before everyone else and leave after. Plus you have your, you know, extra sessions up in Denver."

  "Right…" he responds obliviously.

  "So I'm saying, maybe she has a point."

  "Really," he replies, sounding skeptical.

  "Yes," I go on, surprising myself. I can't believe I would ever encourage Logan to spend more time with his girlfriend, but… "Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing for you to find a little balance in your life. You can be pretty single-minded."

  "But I—"

  "I know. You have to get your ten thousand hours in. I remember. But maybe finding some times to relax every now and then would help, in the long run. So you don't get burned out."

  "Maybe," he hedges, though I can tell by the way he's frowning that he's actually considering what I'm saying.

  "You guys look serious," Austen says, walking up behind Logan. I glance at Logan, wondering whether or not he'd want his brother to know what we were talking about.

  "Oh?" Logan replies, without expanding. Austen walks next to me and I'm surprised to feel him kiss me on the cheek. I freeze immediately, but Austen doesn't seem to realize what he's done. Until he sees the shocked expression on my face.

  "Oh, fuck. I, um," Austen falters. "I forgot where I was for a second," he says under his breath to me. I glance up at Logan, who has his eyes on the pavement.

  "It's OK. He already knows," I tell Austen. "I let it slip a while ago."

  "You know?" Austen asks his brother.

  Logan looks up and shrugs. "Don't worry. I'm not going to tell anyone."

  "Alright," Austen frowns, running his hand through his hair as he processes this information.

  "He's kept it a secret for a month already," I point out. "It's fine."

  "Yeah," Austen finally pronounces. "It's fine."

  I rub Austen's back as the three of us head toward the gym door, dropping my arm as we walk inside. He seems a little distant, and I'm not sure why. Is he really that upset about Logan knowing about us? Maybe he's just thrown for a loop and needs some time.

  I slip behind the desk and begin my morning duties. By the time I circle back, the team is in full-on training mode behind me. I know from Duke's nightly reports that the team's work is focused more and more on Austen's preparation for the tournament, everyone else's training revolving around how best to prepare him. I can tell by Logan's silence around the dinner table how frustrating it's been for him.

  I glance over at the training area as much as I can without being too obvious. About half the fighters stand around a mat, watching Austen grapple with another man. Logan stalks around the side of the mat until his father finally gives him the nod to switch in. My mom walks in just before the lunch rush, getting in her workout before she heads over to the salon for the afternoon. It doesn't matter so much that the gym is out of her normal route now.

  "Hey, hon," she greets me. Unlike the other gym-goers, she doesn't swipe her card. Duke comped her membership early on in their relationship.

  "Hey, mom," I reply, sliding a fresh towel across the counter to her as a loud thud echoes from the training area. I glance back to see that Logan has just tossed someone over his hip and onto the mat.

  "Oof. Sounds rough over there."

  "Definitely. I hope there's a tournament for Logan soon, too," I add offhandedly, voicing the thoughts I've been mulling over.

  "Maybe," my mom replies. "But Duke says he doesn't have Austen's natural talent."

  "Maybe it's not all about natural talent," I snap back, unable to bite my tongue.

  "Whoa," my mom breathes, eyes wide.

  I take a deep breath. "I just mean, Logan works really hard, and maybe Duke doesn't treat them both as equally as he could."

  "Of course he does. Duke is the most honest man I've ever met."

  "Really? Have you ever seen a picture of Fiona?"

  "What's she
got to do with anything?"

  "She looks just like Logan. That's why Austen is his favorite. Logan reminds him of her."

  My mom blinks her green eyes rapidly as tears form in them. "Why are you talking to me like this?"

  "Like what, Mom? I'm just being honest," I reply, though I can hear the frustration in my voice. I'm so tired of her turning on the tear factory whenever I say something she doesn't like. She's crying me into silence.

  "Well, it's very hurtful. I don't even know if I can work out after this."

  "I'm not sure how it's hurtful, and I'm still glad I said it," I reply, squaring my shoulders even as my heart beats in my ears. She eyes me, mouth slightly open in surprise. We're well past the point in the conversation where I'd normally back down, and I don't think she knows what to do. Neither do I, really.

  I wait to see her response. She looks at me for another moment, then opens her mouth as if she's going to say something, then closes her mouth before huffily walking out. My shoulders drop, and suddenly I'm exhausted.

  I almost want to laugh. That's the biggest argument I've ever had with my mother, and it was nothing. And it wasn't even about either of us. I finally stood up to her about something, and it was over Logan, not me.

  Chapter Eighteen

  "Yeah, but why is she acting weird around you?" Austen asks as I perch my chin on his bare chest. We're lying in bed, and he's trying to understand why I think my mom is mad at me, and I'm trying to give him as few details as possible. Somehow I don't think he'd like the actual details.

  "She's not used to me having my own opinions about stuff," I reply vaguely. "After my dad left, she never even really dated before your dad, and that was a long time. We were each other's whole world, and she'd always get upset if we disagreed about anything, so I stopped disagreeing."

  I nuzzle my nose into his chest hair, hoping this explanation will be enough. "Uh-huh," he replies, rubbing his hand along the bottom of my bra strap. It's a rare time in the middle of the day when we've been able to see each other, with Duke out running errands and my mom at the salon. Or so I thought.

  "Austen?" I jump up at the sound of my mom's voice just outside the basement door. "Have you seen Cat? She said she was with Maya, but then Maya just came to the salon looking for her."

  "Um, have you tried her cell phone?" Austen calls back as I jump up and begin frantically pulling my clothes on. I point upstairs, trying to indicate that I left it on my bed.

  "Yeah, she's not answering." There's a short pause and I find one of my shoes, then begin circling the bed, looking for the other one. "Is it OK if I come down? I'm worried."

  "Yeah, one sec! Just putting on a shirt," Austen replies. Well, at least that part's true. He straightens the comforter, revealing my other sandal. I slip it on and head for the door.

  "Austen?" my mom calls again. I open the back door and race up the steps. I run around the side of the house and then open the front door as quietly as possible. Thank god it's not locked, because I don't have my keys on me. I tiptoe up the stairs, wishing I were wearing different shoes, and can just hear my mom and Austen's voices echoing from the basement.

  As I enter my room, I kick my shoes off and grab my phone off the bed. I try to steady my breathing as I call my mom.

  "There you are!" she answers.

  "Sorry, I just saw your calls. I wasn't feeling well and fell asleep in my room," I explain as I pull off my jeans and slip under the covers, just in case she heads upstairs.

  "Oh, well you should make sure you call Maya. She came to the salon because she thought you were there."

  "Shoot, yeah, I will. I didn't mean to sleep so long."

  "But you're feeling alright now?" she asks.

  "Yeah, I'm fine now," I reply. Except for the guilt. "I better call her so she doesn't worry."

  As I hang up and then press Maya's number, I shake my head at myself. Even if my mom's mad at me, she still gets worried enough to leave work to come find me.

  "Sorry!" Maya exclaims as soon as she answers. "I just thought, 'oh, I'm in the neighborhood, I might as well swing by the salon to see if Cat's there,' and then your mom—"

  "Don't worry about it. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm the one who's been asking you to lie for this long to cover up for me," I reply regretfully.

  "You were able to cover?"

  "I think so, but I don't know if I can keep going on like this. At first it was kind of fun, you know? I liked having something that was just mine. But now it feels wrong in a bad kind of way. And it's not just me lying, I've roped you into it, too."

  "Well, how do you think your mom would react if she found out about you and Austen?"

  "Mm, I don't know. I kind of think her idea of me is a little white-washed. She might be completely shocked."

  "Maybe this is just adding more lying on top of it all, but what if you told her it was new? Like that you guys just started dating. That way she wouldn't think that you'd been sneaking around behind her back for a few months. It might be easier to swallow."

  "No, that's probably a good idea."

  "And what about Austen?"

  "He's the one who took me on that little dream neighborhood tour. I wouldn't be surprised if he's way ahead of me. Especially after what just happened with my mom."

  "Yeah, it does sound like he's got it pretty bad. Text me after, k?"

  "K."

  I hang up and head for the bathroom. The door is closed, so I lean against the hallway wall opposite and wait for Logan to finish. I hear the water in the sink run, and smile up at him as the door opens. But it's not Logan.

  "Oh! Hi, Sara," I say. "Wasn't expecting you."

  "We were just hanging out for the afternoon," she explains, and then glances toward Logan's slightly open bedroom door. She takes a step toward me and lowers her voice. "Actually, I wanted to thank you. Logan told me you gave him some advice, and he's been so much better about making plans with me since then. So, thank you. Seriously."

  "Sure. No problem at all."

  She leans in conspiratorially. "You know, I have to confess, when I first met you I was actually jealous of you. I mean you're so gorgeous and sweet…but you're practically his stepsister! Now I feel so crazy for ever even thinking about that!"

  I laugh quietly. "Yeah, that is crazy!" I reply. "Well, I guess I'll see you around here more then," I add, stepping around her to the bathroom door.

  "Yes, definitely! Oh, and if you're seeing someone, we could double date!"

  "Great idea!" I smile as I shut the door. I want to bash my head in on the other side of it. That was probably the most uncomfortable conversation I've ever had in my life. A double date with Austen and Logan? Not in a million years. Not ever.

  * * *

  That night I wait longer than usual after my mom and Duke go to bed. I'm not taking any chances after this afternoon's scare. A solid forty-five minutes after the house has quieted, I slip out of my room and down the steps, and then knock softly at the basement door before letting myself down.

  "That was close," Austen says from the couch where's he's watching TV.

  "Too close," I reply with a shake of my head as he makes room for me to sit next to him. He wraps his arm around me and kisses my temple.

  "Yeah. You gotta remember to tell Maya when you're using her as an alibi."

  "That's one solution. I was thinking of a different one."

  "Oh?" he replies absently, one eye on the sports scores.

  "We've been dating for a few months now, and I think maybe it's time we come clean to our parents."

  "Oh," he says again, turning to face me. It's not quite the happy response I expected. I wait for him to say more, but it looks like that was it.

  "I don't want to lie anymore," I continue. "I feel too guilty. And I want to just be able to date normally, you know? Be a regular couple."

  "Yeah, but the tournament is only a month away. I can't have any big changes like that right now."

  "Well, it's not reall
y a big change, is it? I mean, our parents would know about us, but in terms of what we're actually doing it wouldn’t be very different," I counter, surprised to feel like I'm having to talk him into this.

  "Of course it'll be different!" he exclaims, pulling his arm back from its place around my shoulders.

  "Not really, it'll—" I begin to argue, and then stop, taking in the way he's now staring down at his lap. "Is that what this is really about? You're worried it would affect the tournament?"

  He stands up and begins to pace in front of the TV. "It just feels like a lot right now. We haven't even been dating that long."

  "OK…"

  "It just feels really serious," he finally says, turning toward me and splaying out his hands as though he's laying the real answer at my feet.

  "It feels serious," I repeat, my head spinning. I take a deep breath, trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. "I'm confused. You're the one who said you were trying to turn over a new leaf. You're the one who took me on a tour of that neighborhood," I point out. I feel hot tears begin to form behind my eyes and blink quickly to hold them back. I already feel embarrassed, and crying will only exacerbate that feeling.

  He throws his hands up with an exasperated sigh. "I just—OK, yes, I mean, down the road, maybe, but I just feel like you're putting a lot of pressure on me right now, and I already have enough of that."

  "I didn't mean to put—"

  "I told you how much pressure my dad's putting on me right now, but I never expected to get it from you, too."

  "Hang on, that's not what I'm trying to do. I just, I guess I thought that maybe this was different, or, I don't know, maybe it's just that I'm feeling guilty," I blurt out, struggling to find my footing.