by Mary Smith
“Excuse me?” I’m baffled by the question.
“When did your marriage end?” She repeats her question again.
“Sharon died in January,” I answer.
“This is true, but when do you feel the marriage ended? In your mind and heart.”
I realized then what she meant. I’m not sure if I knew the date or time when it ended. If I had really sat down and thought about it I could figure it out. “I love my wife,” I tell her.
“I’m not saying you don’t. I know you cared about Sharon and you stayed through a lot, but when did your marriage end?” She pushes a bit harder this time.
Without thinking about it I say, “When she put me in the hospital for the first time.”
“Mr. Long, how did this happen?” The doctor and nurses are rushing all around me. I can feel blood coming from my head, and I can’t move my jaw.
I mumble.
“Mr. Long, we believe your jaw may be broken and you have a lot of cuts and scrapes.” The nurse next to me has a calm and soothing voice. “We’re going to fix you up okay.” She tries to reassure me.
I try to nod, but I’m still in a neck brace from when the paramedics came to the house.
“He fell down the stairs.” I hear Sharon from behind me. “Tell them, Taden. Tell them you fell down the stairs.”
The doctor and the nice nurse look at each other and then down to me. Their eyes said it all. They knew I didn’t fall down any stairs.
Caryn moves to the topic of my timed showers and is happy to know I’m now talking fifteen minute showers.
“Are you still thinking of selling the house?”
I nod. “I don’t need a five bedroom house for only me. However, I’m not sure what I want. I at least want something in case the girls want to move back home.”
“Makes sense. Have you spoken to an agent yet?”
“I Googled a few but haven’t contacted any yet,” I inform her.
“You’re taking steps, Taden, and it’s a good thing. Have you had anymore panic attacks?”
“No.” I shake my head. “However, if I start moving things and packing up, I’m afraid I will.”
“Just take it easy and remember to ask yourself, what will happen if you have any big issues.” Caryn’s hopeful smile helps me a bit. “You’re making great progress.”
“I don’t feel it.”
“You told me the doctor gave you the all clear. It’s one more step to getting you back behind the bench.” Again, she remains smiling.
“Right.” I give her a smile back.
As I walked out of Caryn’s office, I sit in my car for several minutes with my finger hovering over the keyboard. I want to know why Macy texted me and why she wants to talk to me.
Damn, why do I feel like some teenager?
Before I chicken out I text Macy back.
Me: I’d love to talk. Where and when?
It’s not like I had a job or anything to do. My schedule is wide open. I don’t know how long I stare at my phone before Macy texts me back.
Macy: I have a small break at 2.
I check the clock in the car. Ten minutes.
Me: Where are you?
She texts me and tells me to meet her in the parking garage on the fifth floor because it’s easier for her to get to. The butterflies in my stomach are jumping all around. Why am I doing this? What am I doing? I can’t think about it, and I immediately drive over to where she directed me to.
In a matter of minutes of finding a spot near the door, Macy comes out. She’s a beautiful woman. In her early twenties, curvy, long blonde hair, and big almond shape blue eyes. She takes my breath away.
No, it’s too soon. You’re a married man.
She opens my door and jumps in. Her breathtaking scent of lavender and mint fills my senses.
“Hi, Taden,” she says breathlessly.
“Hi.” I manage to get out.
“I’m sorry I had to meet you like this. I know it’s juvenile, but I don’t have much time in between my meetings.” Her cheeks turn a bright pink. “I wanted to talk to you for a moment. I have to say something to you, and it needed to be in person.”
“Go ahead.” I hear the nervousness in my voice.
“I never, ever pick up men in a bar and never, ever take them to bed in a matter of a few hours. I know you’re a married man. Well...” She trails off and her face is bright red now. “I mean, I’m sorry to hear of about your wife. I watched the news, and I know you’ve been through a lot and... well... I’m sorry. But I’m not sorry for our night together.” She rushes out the last part. “I really felt something between us, and I wanted you to know I’ve thought about you a lot. I understand you’re going through a tremendous time right now, and I have no right barging in out of the blue.”
“Macy—”
“No, please let me finish this before I get overwhelmed and can’t do it.”
I nod.
“If, later on, when you feel up to it or whatever, I would like to go out to dinner with you. I’m going to be in Manchester more and there’s a strong possibility it’ll be permanent. So, whenever you want, or if you just need a friend, I promise no strings attached or anything, please know I’m here.”
I didn’t expect to hear her say any of that. Hell, I didn’t know what to expect. I’m staring at her dumbfounded. One side of my head is screaming, “Yes, our second chance of happiness,” while the other is telling me, “Sharon’s going to kill us”.
“I’m not pushing, Taden. I know you just lost your wife a few months ago. I just wanted you to know how I felt. Our night together meant a lot to me. You treated me with respect and lovingly took care of me the entire night. I’m not just talking about the sex. Our conversation before and after was just as memorable.” She caresses my hand and instantly the memory of our night is in the forefront of my mind.
“I never cheated on my wife before,” I express to her. “You were the first and only.” I rub my thumb across her knuckles.
“Are the stories true?” she softly asks. “Was she abusive to you?”
I give one nod. Our night in Portland, Macy had asked me about several scars, but I told her nothing of Sharon’s abuse to me.
“I feel as if saying I’m sorry isn’t enough.” She squeezes my hand. “Please know anything you tell me is between us. I’d never say anything to anyone. I do care for you, Taden.”
“And I you, Macy.” I bring the back of her hand up to my lips. “I’ve thought about you too.”
She smiles resting her chin on our interlocked hands.
“I can’t imagine why a twenty-something would even look twice at me. I’m an old man.” I half joke and she sits back.
“Twenty-something? Who’s a twenty-something?” She seems confused.
“Aren’t you in your twenties?” Now I’m baffled.
Macy laughs. It’s a delightful sound coming from her. “No, Taden. I’m thirty-eight. Did you really believe I was in my twenties?”
“What? There’s no way?” There really can’t be. “You look twenty-five. Tops.”
She tosses her head back in laughter causing me to join her. “Well, I’m going to email the skin care company I use and thank them because that’s the best compliment I’ve had and after the day I’m having I needed it.”
We laugh a moment longer, and it feels great to have a connection with someone. A female who seems to care about me.
“Taden, I have to go, but please remember you can text or call whenever. I’d love to keep you as a friend even if nothing more comes of it.”
Her blues eyes tell me she’s telling the truth, but deep down, do I want her just as a friend? We had shared an amazing night together, and I believe there was a connection.
Sharon.
My heart jumps at the thought of her name and I almost look over my shoulder to make sure she’s not going to appear.
She’s dead.
“Macy, when do you leave?” I lean in closer to her. Her lips are
full and just have the softest shade of pink on them.
“Tomorrow afternoon after my last meeting.” She follows my lead and her chest falls and rises with each deep breath.
“Have dinner with me tonight?” I inch forward a bit.
“It wouldn’t be until later.” She comes closer.
“Fine. Text me where you’re staying, and I’ll meet you there.”
There’s only a millimeter between our lips. Her breath has a hint of mint to it, as if she just brushed her teeth. She stops moving and stares at me. I know what she’s waiting for, me to close the gap. She’s not rushing me. I can see she cares for me. I can feel she cares for me.
I softly touch her lips to mine. There’s a soft gasp and I’m not sure if it’s her or me. Her tongue easily slides into my mouth, and I fight the urge just to take her here and now. But she’s a classy lady, and I don’t just want to fuck her in the car.
“I’ll text you.” She’s the first to pull back and gives me a chaste kiss before hopping out and racing to the door. But first she looks back at me with a bright smile.
THE GIRLS ARE so busy packing and getting stuff ready they don’t even notice me heading out to meet Macy. I’m outrageously nervous and I don’t know how to act. I can’t remember the last time I’d been on a date.
A date night with Sharon always turned into something worse…
“Isn’t this nice?” I smile holding her chair out. “Just the two of us. When was the last time this happened?”
Sharon rolls her eyes. “I’m very busy, if you hadn’t noticed.”
I take a seat across from her. “I know, but it’s nice to be with my wife. The girls are so busy—”
“I know they are. I’m their fucking chauffeur, chef, and damn schedule keeper.” She jerks the menu open as the waitress comes to the table, looking nervous for interrupting our conversation.
“Good evening, I’m Sherry and I’ll be taking care of you.” She smiles at us both, but Sharon isn’t paying attention. “Would you like to see our wine list?” She hands me the small hardback one page menu.
“Of course she’d hand it to you.” Sharon mumbles but loud enough for her to hear.
“Sharon, would you like to pick?” I hand her the menu, but she only glares at me. “I think we’ll just stick with water.” I hand it back to Sherry.
“I’ll give you a few moments.” She rushes away from the table.
“So, now you’re going to order for me too? Like I’m some child.” Sharon hisses at me.
“No, I wasn’t.” I lean closer to her. “I want us to have a good time.”
“Whatever.” She looks back to her menu, and I try to focus on us having a good time.
“I think I might do the chicken.” I try to change the topic of conversation.
Sharon slams the menu down. “I’m done. I don’t want to be here with you right now.”
She quickly stands and rushes out of the restaurant. I sigh and drop some money on the table before following Sharon out the door.
She’s standing by the car with her arms crossed and tapping her foot. I know this position. It’s going to be a rough night for me.
I rub my bottom lip remembering the stitches I had received that night. I pull up to the hotel and head toward the room Macy told me to go to. I knock on the door and when she opens the door my breath is taken away.
“Hi, Taden.” She smiles. Her blonde hair is hanging loose around her shoulders in soft curls. She has on a flowy, black dress that stops just above her knee.
I can’t help myself. Hell, I don’t even know what came over me. I grab her face and push her into the hotel room, kicking the door shut behind me. She tastes like mint and the smell of lavender fills me again. I press her hard against the wall and our lips connect.
“Taden.” She moans my name as I nip down her neck and collarbone.
I remember this feeling. The softness of a woman, the tenderness of her moaning your name, and the deliciousness of her taste. This is what I want and I want it from Macy.
“Please.” She begs me as I pull her dress over her hips and yank down her underwear. “I can’t wait.”
“Neither can I.” I slam into her without a second thought. She’s as wet as a river, and I’m hard enough to cut ice. I pound into her, memorizing her feel and tightness around me. I’m not going to last, and I know she’s not either. I missed this. I missed her.
“Taden. Harder.” She pants, and I obliged her command. She squeezes her legs harder around me, and it’s my end. Feeling her, like this, is everything,
“I’m cumming.” I can feel my balls tightening up.
“Me too. Don’t stop.” Her vice grip hold on me is what is about to send me over the edge. Together we find our release, and I rest my forehead on her cheek as we both try to find air in the room.
“I should say I’m sorry for not being more gentlemen-like.” I chuckle.
“I enjoyed every second.” She giggles in my ear, sending chills through me. “I missed you.”
I lean back and softly kiss her lips. “Me too.”
She unwraps her legs from around me and slides down my body. “I’m going to take a guess that we’ll be ordering in tonight.” Her blue eyes shine bright.
I nod with a smile on my face.
I’M SITTING WITH my back against the headboard on the bed, naked, with Macy between my legs, also naked, as we laugh and feed each other french fries and share a sandwich.
“And then he said, damn.” Macy finishes her story and we’re both laughing loudly.
She holds part of the sandwich for me to take a bite and then she takes one. I grab the bottle of water and we both take sips.
“Do you have to leave?” She looks up at me with hope in her eyes.
“No. The girls are fine.” I kiss her lips.
“I wasn’t expecting sex, Taden.” She moves the plate to the other side of the bed and turns in my lap. “I really wanted to spend time with you.”
“I know.” I do know she’s being honest with me. I can see it. She’s a good person. “I didn’t mean to attack you when I walked in.”
“It’s okay. I enjoyed it.” Her cheeks heat up.
“Me too.” I pause for a second. “I know we don’t know a whole lot about each other, but I like you Macy and I’m glad you called.”
“What do you want to know?” She straddles my lap. “Ask me anything.”
“Well, first it’s hard to think when you’re sitting like this, but I’m going to assume you’re not married.”
“Never married. Never engaged. No kids,” she says lightly running her fingers over my beard and jaw line.
“How come? I mean you’re beautiful, and I can’t imagine any man not snatching you up.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
“My job. I want to be as successful as I can. My focus has been there for the past fifteen years. I’ve not looked anywhere else.” She doesn’t sound sad. She sounds like a determined woman.
“And now?” I twirl a piece of her hair around my fingers.
She shyly smiles. “Now, I’m secure in my job and more options are open to me. I’d like to travel more that’s not job related, maybe catch some live hockey games instead of just seeing highlights, and I’d like to settle down and buy a home. I’ve always wanted to be somewhere permanent.”
“You don’t have a place now?”
“I have a little studio apartment. Mainly, all I do there is shower and have a place to store my clothes, purses and shoes.” She giggles.
I adore her simple laughter and how she looks at me as if I’m the only one in the room. Even though I am. She’s looking at me differently. The way a woman should look at a man. Caringly, lovingly, with respect. Sharon had a scowl on her face all the time. There had always been tension, and we were always walking on eggshells with her. Macy is different. She reminds me of what I could have.
“Taden?” She brushes the back of her hand against my cheek. “Are you okay?”
&nb
sp; “I’m fine.”
“You’re crying.”
It’s then I feel the wetness on my cheeks. “Oh, I’m sorry.” I wipe at my face. “I don’t know why.”
“Did I do something wrong?” She lifts herself off my hips and kneels next to me on the bed. “Is there something I can get you?”
“No, really, I’m fine. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I move to the side of the bed and rest my head in my hands. The now familiar pain in my chest begins to arise. It hurts, and it’s harder to breath.
“I think you’re having a panic attack.” Macy rubs my back. “Just breathe. I know it’s hard, but try to take a deep breath in and a slow breath out.”
I try but struggle.
“You can do it, honey. Deep breath in.” She inhales. “And out.” She exhales.
I do my best to mimic her and each time she encourages me. She keeps rubbing my back and soon I’m back to normal. Macy wipes a cool washcloth across my face and forehead.
“Are you feeling better?” She’s kneeling in front of me. “Here. Take a drink.” She holds the bottle of water in front of me. I take a small sip.
“Thank you.” My raspy voice speaks. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I know how panic attacks work. Well, I meant, I know how unpredictable they are.” Her encouraging smile brings me some relief. “Have you had them for a long time?”
“Mainly since Sharon died.” I internally chastise myself. What man brings up his dead wife, while a gorgeous woman is naked in front of him nursing him through a panic attack?
Me.
“Lay down.” She pulls back the covers more than they already are and pushes on my shoulder to make me rest. She rushes to the other side, cleaning off the plates of food and such before crawling in bed with me. “Just close your eyes and relax.”
She rests her head on my chest, and I place my hand on her thigh. Soon sleep finds me.
“TADEN.”
I moan to the softness of Macy’s voice.
“Taden, you have to wake up.”
I open my eyes and Macy’s in front of me dressed in a feminine business suit with her hair down and makeup done.
