From Heel to Heart

by Amy DeMeritt

  “No, at least I don’t think I did. Let me finish.”

  Lana continues the story of Elli making them cappuccinos, which she raves about and Asia whistles in appreciation for Elli’s skill. She tells her about the brief conversation on the couch, plans to have dinner tomorrow night, and the brief hug at the door when she left.

  “So, you spent four days beating yourself up and trying to get up the nerve to call or go see her, and you seriously left that quickly just to go feed some damn cats? For Christ’s sake, Lana.”

  “I know, it’s pathetic, but I was so terrified I would say or do something to screw it up again. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I just needed to know she’d give me another chance to prove I’m not a complete jerk. Now that I know she doesn’t hate me and think I’m a player or something, I’ll be able to function better tomorrow night on the date.”

  Asia releases a gruff impatient exhale of air and Lana knows her friend is probably rolling her eyes so hard her head is in jeopardy of rolling off of her shoulders.

  “Fine, I guess it was better to play it safe. Now, we’re going to come back to you being unsure about liking your job anymore, but first, what was her place like?”

  Lana smiles broadly, and as she pulls along the curb outside of her apartment, she quickly cuts the engine, grabs her purse and shoes, and turns the speaker off to pull the phone to her ear.

  “Her place was cute. Walking through the shop and getting a glimpse of what she does was amazing. I felt like I had traveled like a hundred years into the past or something. I think I could spend all day in there and not get bored. She has a spiral staircase – do you have any idea how much I love spiral staircases? They’re just so… unique.”

  Asia releases a loud laugh and Lana also giggles at herself as she unlocks her apartment and walks inside.

  “I only saw the kitchen and living room, but they were very clean and the place smelled nice – like fresh coffee and clean linens. The furniture reminded me of stuff I’ve seen in the Pottery Barn catalogue – like nice stuff without being pretentious. It was a place I could get comfortable in.”

  “I’m even more at a loss of why you left so quickly, but I won’t beat you up about that again.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Now, talk to me about work.”

  Lana’s mood plummets and she exhales hard as she reaches into her fridge to grab a bottle of beer.

  “I don’t want to talk about work.”

  “Girl, do you think I give a damn? You have not been yourself for over two months and it’s been freaking me the fuck out thinking you’re depressed about something. Then you tell your shoemaker you don’t think you enjoy being an analyst anymore. You are such a nerd with numbers. What is going on with you?”

  “Look, I don’t know. I guess, I just… It’s not challenging anymore. I feel like I’m on a race track going around and around in the same circle. I used to feel like I was on a long exciting road trip with new things to see every day.”

  Lana walks to her bedroom to change out of her suit and into a pair of jeans and tee shirt. She sets her phone down on her dresser on speaker and begins to strip.

  “Have you looked around for other jobs to see if there is something more challenging out there?”

  “I already know the next step up is working with an actual financial institution, like a bank, investment firm, or the government, none of which really appeal to me. Which in of itself is weird because I used to love the idea of working on Wall Street or something. I think I might have grown out of love with math and analytics.”

  “Damn, girl. What have you been thinking about, besides work? What in life excites you or do you feel is missing?”

  Lana plops down on her couch with her phone and beer. She takes a large swig of beer while she thinks and shakes her head, even though she knows Asia can’t see her.

  “Well, one obvious missing piece in my life is a partner, which I’m working on. I guess I’m just getting old and realizing for the first time that the things I thought mattered, like career success, they really don’t matter that much. But now I’m stuck trying to figure out what does matter and what I want.”

  “Maybe you should take some time off of work so you can figure that out.”

  Lana snorts at the remark and shakes her head again. “Yeah, like Beverly would allow me to take some time off. She would probably fire me on the spot for even just asking to take a couple of vacation days. Till I survive this trial month, I don’t think I should be asking for any favors.”

  “I don’t mean a vacation. I mean some serious time off, like a month or two. You have a savings, right?”

  “I do, but… What the hell would I do with myself for a month?”

  “Experience life more fully so you can figure out what’s missing from your life.”

  “Basically, you’re telling me to quit my job so I can have my gap year I didn’t take before college. You sure you’re not just trying to get rid of me so you can move up the ladder?”

  Asia releases a scoffing laugh, and says, “Bitch, if I was there, I’d punch your arm for even thinking that. I hate seeing you like this. You’re just not yourself lately. Just think about it, okay?”

  “I will. So, what are you doing?”

  “I have a date in a couple of hours. Do me a favor and text me at seven o’clock so I have an excuse to leave if he’s a dud.”

  “What’s his name? How did you meet?”

  Asia groans and Lana smiles, knowing what’s coming. “His name is boring – it’s Justin Jones. I’m doing this as a favor to my mom – he’s the son of one of her church BFFs. She insists he’s handsome and charming, but we’ll see. I have no idea what this dude looks like. All I know is that he’s black, thirty-four, comes from a good church family, drives a Toyota, and works in customer service at the cable company. So far, not impressed, but we’ll see.”

  Confused, Lana asks, “What are you unimpressed about? He sounds like he has his life together. He has his own car, which a lot of people in the city don’t, and he has a job, which a lot of people don’t. Hell, I might not have a job soon.”

  “It’s the job he has. I’m not trying to sound like a bitch or be a snob, but I worked customer service as a way to pay my way through college. It’s a job a twenty-something-year-old does. He’s in his thirties. I would just think he should be…”

  “Yeah, I’m going to cut you off, sweetie, because you’re being a major snob. Every job is an important job. As consumers, we demand good customer service from every company, store, and restaurant we deal with – it’s a very demanding and respectable job. I think you’re just trying to find an excuse not to like him because your mom set you up with him. And you don’t want her to have the satisfaction of knowing she picked your man for you.”

  “Damn, am I that transparent?” Asia laughs into the phone and Lana shakes her head in amusement at her. “Okay, it was a cheap shot. I really don’t think that about his job. Still text me though, just in case he’s a creep.”

  “I will.”

  “Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Have fun.”

  Chapter Six

  Elli is sitting on a chair in her work studio staring at the back door to the alley, anxiously jiggling her leg on the ball of her foot and thumping her thumb on her other thigh. She checks her watch, and her stomach clenches, and her heart rate increases. It’s 5:56pm. Lana said she would be here to pick her up at 6pm.

  She keeps telling herself to relax. She’s not late yet. She might have missed the turn for the alley and had to loop around. She might be stuck in traffic. Elli closes her eyes and takes a long, slow breath through her nose, then slowly pushes it out through puckered lips, trying to steady her nerves and her heart. She repeats the breathing pattern several times, then checks her watch again.

  “Two minutes. I’m going to lose my mind.”

  Elli stands up and starts pacing around the work studio. She resists the urge to pick up anythi
ng so she doesn’t soil her hands, but the need to busy herself to distract her mind is becoming impossible to resist.

  A quick urgent knock on the door makes Elli freeze in her tracks. A rush of excitement pushes her anxiety down and she leaps for the door as if she’s a teenager instead of a forty-one-year-old woman. She pulls the door open and her stomach erupts with tickling flutters.

  “Well, hello, Sunshine.”

  Lana bites her bottom lip with a cute bashful grin and holds out a bouquet of sunflowers, saying, “Hello, Elli.”

  “These are beautiful. Thank you. Do I have time to put these in water?”

  “Oh, yeah, of course.”

  Lana follows her upstairs to the apartment and Elli pulls out a sage green and cream glazed ceramic vase to put the flowers in. Elli gives the ends a quick snip, then arranges them so each tea saucer sized flower is facing out in a full bursting ring. She sets the flowers on the coffee table in the living room and beams at the life that they bring to the room.

  “These are lovely. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I didn’t know what your favorite flower is, but I thought, well, you always call me Sunshine, so…”

  “They’re perfect. But for future reference, my favorite flower is the Princess Margaret Rose Gladiolus. They have a magnificent tricolor of yellow and orange with a deep reddish orange edging around the petal tips.”

  Lana smiles and pulls her cellphone out to look up the flower and save the name so she doesn’t forget it.

  “Oh, these are beautiful. I’ve seen these in blue and pink, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this variety. Are they named after a real princess?”

  Elli releases a small laugh and nods as she starts walking towards the door so they can get to their date. “Aye, she was the sister of our Queen Elizabeth II. Princess Margaret Rose passed away in 2002. What is your favorite flower?”

  “People always tease me about that answer. I like daisies, especially the small white daisies.”

  “Those are lovely flowers. Am I right to assume they tease you because they’re too simple and not flashy?”

  “Pretty much. My mom jokes that I’m just a little girl at heart, and others think I’m a country girl living in the city, even though I’ve never been a country girl.”

  “Well, I think you have lovely taste.”

  Lana walks out the door with blushing cheeks and a shy smile and waits while Elli locks the door. As they’re about to walk down the spiral staircase, Lana points to a door she didn’t notice before, and asks, “Is it rude of me to ask where that leads?”

  “No, it’s not. It leads outside.” Elli opens the door and hits a light switch for a very narrow set of stairs that ends with a short landing and a solid black metal door. “This entrance gives me the shivers, so I don’t use it.”

  Lana releases a small laugh and nods while she watches Elli close and lock the door again. She didn’t want to voice her opinion and insult Elli, but she agrees – the stairwell is too cramped and dimly lit for her comfort. The spiral staircase is much better and she likes the trip through the shop.

  “The apartment used to be sealed off from the shop and my parents rented it out. When I came home, I moved into the apartment and had a contractor add this landing and the spiral staircase to the shop.”

  Lana opens the car door for Elli, which makes Elli smile and feel a flutter in her stomach again.

  “Thank you.”

  Lana just smiles, then carefully closes the door and rushes to get to the other side. While Elli fastens her seatbelt, she looks over at Lana and takes all of her in. She’s wearing a pair of nice blue jeans that fit to her form with a relaxed cuff to fit over the pair of brown casual ankle boots she’s wearing. Her blouse is a cream tunic with a wide V-neck and is slightly transparent. Underneath, she has on a tight white tank top, which allows Elli to see Lana is trim with a modest sized chest.

  “You look very nice tonight. Is this how you prefer to dress, or do you prefer business suits?”

  Lana smiles at her before checking the mirrors, then pulls out to the center of the alley.

  “I definitely prefer jeans. My employer has a very strict business professional dress code. I like to dress up if the occasion necessitates it, but it’s an obligation for work.”

  “I have been fortunate to never have a dress code for work. I wear whatever I darn well please.”

  Lana releases a laugh and looks over at Elli to see that brilliant smile of hers that she’s becoming attached to seeing.

  “That must be nice. I have a question for you.”

  “Shoot.”

  “I know you asked me not to make you a factor in my decision about my job, but I have to know, if I was to take some time off from work, would you still want to see me?”

  “Aye. Are you planning on taking some time to do some soul searching?”

  “Something like that. But I haven’t decided yet. My best friend suggested it. We work side by side and she has noticed my passion for the job dwindling.”

  “Sometimes, we’re so caught in the day to day that we can’t see the whole picture. We move frame by frame, just to say we successfully completed another day. Sometimes, the only way to see the whole picture is to step outside of the frames.”

  “Have you ever had to do that?”

  “Aye, it’s one reason I went to London when I was eighteen. I hadn’t yet decided if I wanted to follow in the family business. I had seen my parents work in the shop my whole life and I was taught the skills and helped out occasionally, but I wasn’t hooked yet. It was when I got back to my roots that I was able to see the beauty and joy in what we do. I explored our homeland, both the cities and country sides. I explored shops, textile factories, and museums. And I worked alongside my family in the three family shops scattered over London, but I mostly worked in the shop in Wembley. It wasn’t till I went to London that my passion was born.”

  “My problem is I used to have a passion for what I do. But I lost it.” Lana sighs and shrugs her shoulders in indecision. “I guess I have some thinking to do. Can I ask how your family ended up here?”

  “My great-great-great-great-grandparents immigrated to America to open a shop to cater to the flood of immigrants seeking a new life and opportunity here. In England, the Voss family was pretty much the Macy’s of shoe repair and tailoring needs. Most of the family stayed in England, so the family name didn’t become as big here, but the shop has always done well. Family has traveled back and forth throughout the generations to keep the shops running and to train the new generations. My father was born and raised here and once he was ready to run the shop on his own, my grandparents moved back to England.”

  “Your family and family history sound so fascinating. The stories you must have… it’s probably like listening to a novel – a great novel.”

  Elli laughs with her cheeks burning and her chest humming with delight from the genuine interest in Lana’s tone.

  “Thank you. The family history definitely had a grand charming effect on me.”

  “I can only imagine.”

  Lana pulls her car into a parking lot at the bottom of a short hill and Elli looks around a bit perplexed on the location.

  “Banting Park?”

  Lana flashes her a secretive sort of smile and nods as she cuts the engine and opens her door. “I thought we’d do something different.”

  Elli’s hungry stomach clenches in protest at the prospect of not having dinner, but she gets out of the car and waits by the hood while Lana goes to her trunk. When she reaches Elli’s side, she’s carrying a folded afghan and has a bookbag on her back.

  “A picnic?”

  “Sort of. Come on.”

  Elli’s stomach unclenches and excitement fills her chest. She gets in step next to Lana and they walk up a paved path to the top of the hill. Elli quietly gasps in awe, then laughs and nods vigorously in approval of Lana’s choice of activity for the evening. The park is filled with canopies and string lights
offering partial covering for an evening farmers market. There are at least twenty stations with fresh produce, baked goods, hot and cold meals, artwork, local honey, fresh cut flowers and potted plants, and handmade pottery.

  “I thought we could be adventurous tonight, but if you’d prefer to go to a restaurant, we can go anywhere you want.”

  “This is absolutely perfect, Lana.”

  Beaming with pride at finally doing something right, Lana tentatively takes Elli’s hand and they continue up the path to the farmers market. The first stand they come to has tables and bins laden with pints of berries, plums, string beans, tomatoes, and bundles of greens, carrots, and beets.

  “Oh, these look divine.”

  Elli lifts a red plum to smell and her lips curl into a smile, creasing her eyes. While Lana watches her, she feels like she has become bewitched – an air of peace seems to radiate off of Elli and it’s blanketing Lana, making her feel weightless and carefree.

  “Would you like them?”

  “Aye, I believe we should get a pint.”

  Elli pulls her small wallet from her pocket, but Lana shakes her head, producing a wad of cash from her own pocket.

  “Please, let me.”

  Wanting to allow Lana to play the role she wants to take, Elli pockets her wallet. Lana pays for the plums, then they move on to the next vendor.

  It’s a cool night, the market is busy but not too overly crowded, and the other patrons are all in good spirits and mostly polite in the way they pass and move around each other. Everything about the evening feels refreshing for both of them. The evening is just beginning, but so far, it is exactly what they both have been needing for a long time.

  “Oh, that smells amazing.”

  Lana cranes her neck to see around a group waiting at a hot food vendor to see the menu, and seeing her struggle, Elli tugs her forward to slip between some people just standing around talking.

  Able to see the board clearly, Lana licks her lips and swallows hard as her mouth begins to salivate in hunger. “Any interest in trying some Thai food?”