From Heel to Heart

by Amy DeMeritt

  “Aye, Thai is delicious.”

  They get in line, and while they wait, they scan the crowd and scope out the other vendors to see where they want to go next. Lana’s stomach growls and she laughs as she places a hand on her abdomen.

  “Did you hear that? My stomach is impatient to eat from all of these amazing smells and the delicious looking food around us.”

  Elli smiles and shakes her head. “I didn’t hear it. Would you like a plum while we wait?”

  She holds up the small plastic bag, but Lana shakes her head. “I can wait. There’s still so much to see – this picnic might turn into a smorgasbord.”

  “Aye, we may become victims of shopping-while-hungry induced gluttony.”

  They’re called forward to order, so they shuffle to the front of the counter and order some spring rolls and cashew chicken with rice and sautéed vegetables.

  While they’re walking away, Lana inhales deeply from the bag and releases a burring moan, making Elli laugh. Lana is very different tonight – more relaxed and more confident – Elli likes the change and it makes her want to know more about her.

  “Did you grow up around here?”

  “About forty miles south of here but pretty much. I moved to the city in my early twenties to lessen my commute. It can’t beat yours though.”

  “No, I don’t think many people can compete with my spiral staircase. Traffic is nonexistent and I’ve never had to deal with construction nightmares – the on and off ramps are always open.” Lana laughs and nods in appreciation for Elli’s witty banter. “Did you go to college in state?”

  “For my masters, but I went to Dartmouth for my bachelors. Do you regret not going to college?”

  Elli shakes her head. “No, not at all. There is nothing a college or university could have taught me to prepare me for the life I’ve lived. Living life and learning from my family has been the best education. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything in that aspect. What about you – if you could do it over, would you still go into mathematics and analytics?”

  “I would. Up till this point, I can honestly say I have loved it.”

  “Good.”

  They stop to look at a few more vendors, purchasing some more fruit and two small personal size pies. Then they purchase a couple of iced coffees and make their way out of the market to find a spot to have their picnic. Lana spreads the blanket out over the grass in front of a large tree close enough to a lamp post that they’ll have enough light to see what they’re doing once night fully claims the sky above them, but not close enough to have to ward off the moths bouncing off of the glass light dome.

  Lana kneels down and opens her bookbag, revealing its true nature as a real picnic kit loaded with plates, flatware, cups, and napkins. She even has bottles of water and hand wipes.

  “That’s quite a nice bag you’ve got there.” Elli kneels down next to her and Lana smiles with blushing cheeks.

  “Thank you. I bought it on a whim last spring, but this is the first time I have put it to use.”

  “Well, I feel very honored.”

  They settle down on the blanket next to each other and begin opening the containers of Thai food. Silently working together with ease, as if they’ve done this a dozen times, they load the plates with Thai food and polish a few small ping pong ball size red plums clean with a dampened napkin.

  “If you decide to take time off from work, do you know what you will do to fill your days?”

  Lana lowers her fork before she takes a bite of her cashew chicken so she can answer. “I’m not really sure. Asia suggested I just focus on experiencing life more fully so I can figure out what’s missing from my life. I just haven’t figured out yet what that will entail.”

  “If you feel like something is missing, just look around yourself – really be aware of your environment and the people around you. Figure out what you like and don’t like and what someone else might have that you don’t.”

  “That’s interesting advice.”

  Lana takes a bite of her chicken and allows her eyes to scan over the park. She takes in the details of the park itself, enjoying the landscape and the lights of the city peeking between the trees surrounding them. She watches the people at the not too distant market laughing, talking, and shopping. Her eyes scan over a group of young kids playing with a ball and a puppy. They’re laughing and shrieking with excitement while they jump around and race between each other, looking like they don’t have a care in the world. Her insides lurch painfully and she places a hand on her lower stomach.

  As to not alarm Elli, she quickly corrects her posture and wipes the sadness and regret off of her face. She takes a sip of her iced coffee and clears her throat.

  “They’re cute.”

  She makes the statement while she nods in the direction of the children, trying to casually broach the subject. Elli smiles with a faraway look in her eyes while she watches the children. She nods in agreement, then also takes a sip of coffee and clears her throat to keep it steady.

  “Aye. Their energy is beautiful.”

  Warmth licks at Lana’s ribs, but her nervousness increases. She led them into the discussion, but she really likes Elli and she’s afraid this will end before it really begins.

  “Do you have any children?”

  Elli’s chest tightens as she shakes her head and pokes at her chicken and rice. “No. I didn’t get the chance before the change. See, I told you I’m old.”

  Lana can sense the pain and disappointment in Elli’s voice, which causes her a sense of relief and hope. She places a hand on Elli’s knee and gently rubs it with the side of her thumb for a moment.

  “I’m sorry. I haven’t had the chance yet either. I could still carry, but my time is running out. I imagine I don’t have more than a few years at best. My mother and her mother went through menopause in their early forties. Can I ask when you…? Never mind. I’m sorry. That was rude of me to ask.”

  “I was thirty-five.”

  Lana’s jaw briefly drops and her eyes widen. She stammers to respond and to find words that won’t be insensitive. “I’m so sorry. Is there a reason it happened so early?”

  “A story for another time, if you don’t mind.”

  Lana vigorously nods, saying, “Yes, of course. I’m sorry for asking. We can change the subject.”

  “Do you feel like children are missing from your life? I mean, do you really want them?”

  “I do. And you?”

  Elli nods. “Aye, I want children. I want a real family.”

  Lana’s entire body tingles with bursts of heat and her chest swells with a deep breath. The subject of children has been the single most controversial issue with every partner she has ever had, especially in the last several years. Either the women she has dated didn’t want any children, or they already had children advanced in age and they weren’t interested in having anymore. Lana wants to bear children, but she’s afraid to do it on her own. The last couple of years have been the worst – no one wants to be in their sixties when their kids are finally going off to college.

  “Elli, I need to… Well… I’m having a really wonderful time with you tonight, but…”

  The hesitation and tone of Lana’s voice causes Elli’s back to go rigid. She sets her plate down to give Lana her full attention. She has a strong suspicion of what is coming and she’s mentally counting the seconds, waiting for the inevitable rejection. It’s always the same – no one her age wants to have children. Even though Lana just said she thinks children are missing from her life, she seems very confused about what she wants from life, so she may not have meant it. Or maybe Lana doesn’t want to bear them herself and since Elli can’t, maybe she has decided there’s no point to them dating.

  “I don’t want to give you the wrong impression.” Elli’s disappointment deepens so much she almost stands up to walk away so she doesn’t have to hear anymore hurtful words. “I stopped casually dating a few years ago. I’m not looking to just have fun
and then move on. I’m getting too old for that. I want children and I want a wife. I just want you to know that I’m serious about making something out of this.” She motions between the two of them and Elli’s nerves unwind like a tightly twisted rope cut in half. “I’m not trying to put pressure on you, and I don’t expect anything to happen at the snap of my fingers, but you should know I’m looking long term – not just till the next date.”

  “Do you happen to know where I can buy a solid gold coin?”

  Lana quirks an eyebrow and grins at Elli’s smiling face and odd question. “Maybe the bank. Why?”

  “I’m thinking the leprechaun hanging out in the sewer drain would like a token of appreciation for breaking your heel off on Monday.”

  Lana releases a loud barking laugh, making Elli’s broad smile widen to the point of spawning an ache in her cheeks. Elli likes Lana’s laugh and smile.

  “All jokes aside, I must admit that this is an enormous relief. Thank you for telling me.”

  “Thank you for not running down that hill to escape.”

  “Not happening, Sunshine. I’m looking long term as well.”

  Chapter Seven

  “Here you go.” Lana accepts the offered glass of white wine and sits up straighter. “Thank you.”

  Elli sits down a couple of feet away from her on the couch and both women pull a leg up to turn sideways to face each other.

  “Tell me about your family.”

  Lana holds up a finger while she takes a sip of wine, then licks her lips, and says, “Well, there’s honestly nothing too exciting to tell. My parents were high school sweethearts and got married too young.”

  Elli’s brow pinches in confusion, and she repeats, “Too young?”

  Lana nods and takes another sip of wine. “They were only eighteen and hadn’t really experienced life yet. My mother got pregnant pretty much immediately and ended up having to drop out of college while my father stayed in college and worked two jobs. In simple terms, the honeymoon didn’t last long. Tension, resentment, and regrets started to eat away at them. They were married for about six years. Shortly after my third birthday, they got a divorce and both of them remarried within a couple of years. I was too young to remember much about how they were together, but they seem like the perfect couples with their new spouses. Things were weird sometimes for the first few years, but everyone got along for the most part.”

  “Do you have siblings?”

  “Several. I have a full blood older brother and sister, and three younger half-sisters and a half-brother.”

  “That’s a big family. Holidays must have been fun if everyone got along.”

  “Oh, god.” Lana releases a laugh and shakes her head. “They were and are complete chaos. Everyone in my family has their own unique personalities – strong personalities. We might be able to get along, but we have our moments of little tiffs or bantering battles when we’re all together. Most of my siblings have children and they bring a whole truck load of mayhem and confusion to family events and holidays. Holidays with the whole family are exhausting, but I love them. By our conversations, I’m guessing you’re an only child?”

  “Not exactly.” Elli’s smile fades and she starts picking at the bunched fabric of her jeans at the bend of her knee. Lana closes the gap between them, pressing her thigh against Elli’s and takes her hand. “After I was born, my parents struggled for years to get pregnant again. My father had low sperm motility and for some unknown reason, my mum suffered many miscarriages. When I was seven, she finally was able to carry to full term and gave birth to a boy – Theodor Elliot Voss. He was beautiful. He only lived for sixteen days. He had a number of health complications and his heart just wasn’t strong enough.”

  “I’m so sorry. That must have been so difficult, especially for your parents to go through all of those struggles and then to lose your brother. I just can’t even imagine.”

  Elli takes a sip of wine and takes a deep breath as she thinks back on her childhood. “Aye, it was. My parents were strong though, especially my mother. No matter the pain she was dealing with, she never allowed it to affect our relationship. If anything, it brought us closer. Mum has always been my best friend. It was actually pretty hard leaving her to live in Wembley for fifteen years. I traveled back and forth as often as I could and they went to visit me there as well, but I missed them terribly.”

  Lana’s feeling of fascination and interest in Elli continues to increase with each new detail she learns about her. There is so much sadness tucked between each new fact, but Elli is a beacon of light built with strength, kindness, forgiveness, and an appropriate amount of charm and humor. Without even thinking or realizing she’s doing it till their skin touches, Lana lightly brushes her hand across Elli’s cheek and over her ear with her fingertips grazing through her short blonde hair.

  Elli’s stomach flutters and her breath catches in her chest as she swallows hard. The look in Lana’s eyes, the way her hand is resting on her cheek and tracing the rim of her ear is making her mind hazy. She watches Lana’s lips part as her tongue barely pokes through to moisten her lips, making them shine like red cherries.

  Feeling identical tugs at their navels, and holding each other’s eyes locked in place, they lean forward and their lips press with the most delicate touch that they can feel the soft fullness of each lip. Their eyes close and they inhale deeply through their noses. Even with as innocent as a closed lip kiss is, the moment feels more intimate and intense than a rushed sloppy full mouth kiss shared in a moment of lust.

  Lana’s thumb traces Elli’s cheekbone as she glides her hand back to lightly cup the back of her neck. She slowly parts her lips and teases Elli’s lips open with her wine sweetened tongue. Like naked lovers embracing in silk sheets, their tongues unite, tender and slow, neither trying to dominate or rush the kiss.

  Their hearts enlarge with joy, their bodies warm, and their breath quickens. It has been a very long time for both of them since they’ve shared such a beautiful kiss that has caused actual sparks within them.

  As Lana slowly pulls away, she seals the kiss with a few gentle kisses on Elli’s lips, then sits up leaning her side against the back of the couch, staying within a foot of Elli.

  With her voice quieted by the passion burning in her chest, Lana says, “I hope it’s okay that I kissed you. I just felt very drawn to you at that moment.”

  Elli’s places a hand on Lana’s cheek, finally caressing the soft smooth skin she has been wanting to touch all night. “Aye, it was wonderful.”

  “It really was. This entire evening has been wonderful.”

  “Aye, it has. Was this the goodnight kiss? Are you leaving now?”

  Lana laughs and shakes her head as she leans forward to kiss Elli’s lips for a moment. “No, I wasn’t about to bail on you. But if you need me to go then…”

  “Not at all, Sunshine. I’m enjoying your company quite a bit.”

  “Good. Are you ready to try those pies?”

  “Aye, pie sounds lovely. Would you like more wine or some coffee?”

  “Is it weird that I want both?”

  “Not at all. I’ll be back.”

  “I’ll help you.”

  They walk to the kitchen with their wine glasses in hand. And while Elli fills the electric percolator to make espresso, Lana pours both of them a fresh glass of wine.

  “How did you learn how to make cappuccinos?”

  “From my parents. It’s another skill that has been passed down in the family.”

  “Your family sounds so cultured and incredible. What other non-typical skills have you learned from your family?”

  Elli walks to the fridge to grab a bottle of milk. “That is a difficult question. Things you think are non-typical are normal to me.”

  “Let me think… Can you fix a car?”

  Elli laughs and shakes her head. “Not exactly. I can change a flat, jump a battery, and basics like add washing fluid and change wiper blades, but I’m not going to
be reconstructing engines or anything.”

  “That’s more than I can do, so we’ll say that’s atypical. Oh, I’ve got a good one. Can you make your own wine or alcohol?”

  Elli’s chest tightens as she turns her back to Lana to get the honey from a cabinet to add to the milk. The whole truth involves Isabell and Elli is not ready to tell Lana about her.

  “I learned the process, but I’ve never made any on my own. However, my uncle Akron makes very good mead.”

  “That’s pretty cool. What exactly is mead?”

  “It’s a liquor made from fermented water, honey, and yeast. You can add fruits and spices, or hops and grains, but it’s not necessary. My uncle makes a variety of meads, but my favorite is what he calls The Stinger. It has an intense honey flavor and it’s strong.”

  “Sounds delicious.”

  “Aye, it is. Maybe for our next date I can open a bottle.”

  Lana smiles brightly at how casually and easily Elli declares a promise of a second date. “I would love that.”

  “My turn to ask you a question.”

  “Ask me anything.”

  “What is your favorite food?”

  “I’m actually kind of a foodie. I love trying new things as often as possible. But in terms of my comfort foods, I would have to say pot pie and shepherd’s pie. I have been known to finish off an entire chicken pot pie all on my own when I’m sick with the flu.”

  Elli releases a small laugh and begins pouring the hot honeyed milk into the espresso, making two cappuccinos.

  “That’s adorable. Pot pie and shepherd’s pie have always been staples in my family, so I completely understand the fondness you have for them.”

  Elli loads a tray with their coffees, the small pies they bought from the farmers market, forks, and napkins.

  “What is your favorite food?”

  “I think I would have to go with pot roast, roasted potatoes, and buttered string beans as my favorite dinner. Do you eat breakfast?”

  Lana quirks an eyebrow with a grin, and asks, “Why?”

  “I’m looking down the road – wondering if I’ll be eating breakfast alone.”