The Long Way Home

by K. Langston

  “I’m trying,” I say, dropping my head to his chest. “I just don’t know how.”

  “I’ll show you.” There’s strong promise in his voice, it fills my heart with hope.

  Hope that one day I will be able to look back on the past and find reason. There are so many things I would have done differently but like Linc said, would it have really changed the outcome? I can’t continue to wonder.

  Regret is exhausting.

  His hand slides up my neck into my hair, his gaze holding mine. “I’ll put the pieces back together, baby. I promise.”

  He kisses my forehead then stands, letting go of me long enough to turn on the shower. Steam fills the air around us and so does his ever-present comfort. He takes my hand, leading me under the hot spray. There is no place in the world I would rather be than right here. With his hands roaming my back, his lips press against the skin of my shoulder, peppering a trail to my neck, erasing the tension one deliberate kiss at time. I suck a deep lungful of air and then let go on a long exhale. His mouth finally reaches mine in a single quest to eliminate every bit of sadness from my soul. He devours each moan with vigorous need and I let him have it all, sharing every ounce of pain and grief I carry inside. He wants it.

  Demands it.

  His warm tongue slides against mine, deepening the kiss, strengthening our bond. “I love you,” he whispers upon my lips.

  “I love you, too.” As the words roll off my tongue with ease, a few of those broken pieces slide back into place.

  We spend the rest of the night making love. Linc is attentive, passionate. His deep exploration of my body leaves me a quivering mess of skin beneath him. There is not an inch of me that has been left untouched by his sure hands. Wrapped in his arms, we drift in and out of sleep for the next few hours, content to take advantage of our time together.

  “You awake?” he asks, his voice deep and groggy with sleep.

  I flip over to face him, wanting to look into his soft green eyes. “Barely.”

  He moves one hand between us, cupping my breast before sucking my nipple into his mouth. “We have lots to make up for, baby.”

  “At this rate, we’ll be caught up by morning.”

  He laughs, the sound vibrating across my chest as he moves his lips up my neck. “I’ll never get enough of you.”

  Smiling, I thread my fingers through his hair, holding him to me, smothering myself in his warmth. I never want to let him go. “I never thought I would get to have you like this. It’s surreal.”

  He lets go of a long sigh, kissing my forehead. “I always knew.”

  “How?”

  “Because when two hearts are meant to be one, they always find a way.” His words burrow deep inside my soul, mending another broken piece. “Mama always told me there’s a reason for everything. That sometimes we have to go through things, bad things, we don’t understand in order to get to where we’re supposed to go and become the people we’re meant to become. It pissed me off when she’d say that because I could never understand why God would take my father from me or keep me from the woman I love. I struggled to understand for years. But now I realize what she meant. I didn’t see the reason then, but I see it now.”

  I lean in to kiss him, savoring his signature taste, a mix of earth and wind.

  Life.

  “What do you see?”

  Looking deep into my eyes, he smiles. “All that pain and heartache led us here. To this very moment. And there’s not a damn place in the world I would rather be.”

  Cupping his stubbly cheek, I scoot closer. We are practically molded together as it is but I can’t seem to get close enough to him. I’m afraid this is all just a dream, and when I wake up, he’ll be gone. “I’m scared.”

  “Of what?”

  “Losing you.”

  “Never gonna happen.”

  Pressing his forehead to mine, he licks his lips. “Nothing will ever come between us again, Sylvie.”

  I believe him, but part of me can’t help but wonder what a single mother, a widow, can offer a man like him. He’s famous. He has the world at his feet, and I’m still trying to figure out how to put mine back together.

  Present

  After dropping Caroline off at school, I come home to find Linc’s truck in my driveway, but he’s not in it. He’s on the riding lawnmower, making his way around the front of the house as I step from the car. My heart thrums wildly in my chest when he catches sight of me and detours from his path, lifting the blades of the lawnmower to head my way.

  Switching off the engine, he hops off the seat. “Mornin’,” he says huskily, wrapping one arm around my waist and pulling me to his damp chest.

  “I don’t recall asking you to mow my yard,” I say, my hands braced on his sweaty biceps.

  “Needed it.”

  “Yes, I know. I was going to get to it today or tomorrow.”

  He shrugs unapologetically. “Almost done now, you can grab me a bottle of water though. Sure is hot out here today.”

  “Don’t you have to work today?”

  “Took the day off.” Air becomes nonexistent as he caresses my lips with his. Both hands fall to my ass, giving it a hard squeeze. “You taste so fuckin’ good,” he murmurs between kisses.

  Even though my cheeks burn with embarrassment at his dirty words, the rest of my body flames with desire. I moan and he swallows it appreciatively, rewarding me with a deep swipe of his tongue, delving into the cavern of my mouth with renewed passion.

  He pumps his hips, pressing the hardness between us against my belly. My entire body trembles with need, desire building like a hurricane inside of me.

  “Is this real? Are you real?”

  “I’m real. You’re real. This is real.”

  “I need to taste you,” he pleads against my wet lips.

  “Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

  “No.”

  One hand leaves my hip, sneaking beneath my dress. I should be embarrassed by how wet I am, but I’m not. I want him to know what he does to me.

  “Fuck,” he grits, rubbing back and forth.

  I feel a vibration against my leg.

  “You’re vibrating,” I tell him.

  “With goddamn need.”

  I laugh. “Linc, I think your phone’s ringing.”

  He digs in his pocket, retrieving his cell. His brows furrow in the center of his head and the look on his face tells me it’s not his mother.

  “Hello.”

  I can faintly hear a female voice come across the line, and I move to walk away so I can give him some privacy but he grabs my arm and presses the phone against his chest. “We’re not finished,” he informs me, kissing my swollen lips. I turn away and walk inside the house.

  A few minutes later, Linc walks into the kitchen, slipping his phone back into his pocket. “Now, where were we?”

  “Who was that?” I ask, filling a glass with ice.

  “My assistant, Kacey. The new album releases soon and she needs to go over the promotion schedule with me. Told her I’d call her back tomorrow.” He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close.

  Hot stones of dread settle in my stomach. “You’re leaving?”

  I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about it until now. Of course he would be leaving again. His life is his music, and I would never ask him to give that up for me.

  “Just for a couple of weeks.” His fingers lift my chin to meet his eyes.

  We’ve been apart for so long. Now he’s back and I’m so scared of losing him again. “Don’t worry. I told you already I’m not going anywhere. I’m never leaving you again.” He tucks my hair behind my ear and kisses my forehead softly. “But I do have to promote this album. I have an obligation to my fans and my band.”

  “I know. I just—I don’t want to be someone who holds you back.”

  His head tilts as he eyes me carefully. “Hold me back?”

  “Besides ruining our friendship, it’s one of the other reasons I never
told you how I felt all those years ago. I didn’t want to hold you back then and I don’t want to hold you back now.”

  “Jesus, Syl. Don’t you get it? My home is wherever you are.” He points to my chest. “Here, my home is here.”

  “What about your career?”

  “What about it?”

  “You can’t just walk away from that life.”

  “I’m not walking away from anything. I’m slowing down. I’ve been working nonstop since I was fifteen years old. I deserve a long ass break. I’ve paid my dues. Ten times over if you wanna be honest. Now it’s time to reap the rewards.” He kisses me with tender care, gently caressing my lips with his own before he continues. “I poured my heart and soul into this album. I know it’s going to be a hit. Even if I don’t take time to promote it myself. But I can’t do that to my fans. I know you of all people can understand that.”

  “I do. Of course I do. It’s just…”

  “Stop trying to come up with excuses for us not to be together. That ship has fuckin’ sailed, babe.”

  His clipped tone irritates me. “I’m not making excuses, Linc, I’m being realistic. We are on different ends of the spectrum here. I’m just trying to figure out where Caroline and I fit into your world. I mean, what are fans going to think about you dating a single mother who works in a café in Grandeur?”

  “I really don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to buy my records.”

  “What if this doesn’t work? What if you and I…what if we don’t work?”

  “Impossible.”

  “Anything is possible, Linc. We have to be smart about this. We can’t get caught up in our emotions. I have Caroline to think about. And what if all of this turns out to be nothing more than wanting something we couldn’t have? It could all fall apart before it even begins. What if we end up hating each other? Then where will that leave us?”

  “Goddamn it, woman. Will you listen to yourself? You’ve been my best friend for over fifteen years. You’ve pissed me off countless times and basically told me to get the fuck out of your life and stay out. You shattered my heart over and over and still…here I am. I don’t think there is anything in this world that could ever make me hate you.”

  “You should,” I choke out, drowning in all of my emotions.

  He pulls his keys from his pocket. “Let’s go. There’s something I want to show you.”

  When Linc pulls onto the gravel driveway, leading up to a vacant lot, I gasp at the view. Unbuckling my seatbelt, I open the door to get out and Linc follows.

  “Well, what do you think?” he asks, rounding the front of the truck. I take a few steps forward, taking in the beautiful scenery.

  “Nice dirt,” I tease.

  Linc swats my behind playfully. “Smart-ass.”

  He takes a stance next to me; hands perched thoughtfully on his hips, overlooking the massive expanse of land.

  “The view is killer, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  That comfortable silence Linc and I live in, thrive in, it settles in as we gaze at the gentle peaks of Blue Ridge Mountain, offering a breathtaking view of the cobalt sky.

  “Know what I love best?”

  “What’s that?”

  “The possibilities.”

  The summer wind whips the strands of my hair, licking my face with its sweet southern heat as I consider his words. My mind begins to conjure up images of the future. All of them involve the man standing next to me.

  He threads his fingers with mine, weaving them together in a tight bond before bringing our joined hands to his chest. With a sigh, his other hand caresses my face before coming to a possessive rest on the side of my neck. “I want to build a life with you, Sylvie. Here, on this dirt. I want to grow old with you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

  “I don’t deserve it,” I say, tearing my burning eyes from his.

  His fingers lift my chin, eyes burning with fierce determination. “You deserve the world, and I’m gonna do my best to give it to you. My career, my music, was just getting me by. It means nothing without you by my side. There will be times when I’ll have to leave but I’m always coming back. Back to this dirt, back to this life, back to you and Caroline. You’re my home, Sylvie.”

  Linc suggests grabbing a bite to eat before we head back. His hand clasps mine, leading me into Emilio’s but my good mood quickly vanishes the moment we run into Dani, who is walking out. Her mouth is pressed into a hard line as she looks at our clasped hands, eyes snapping back to mine. They widen then narrow before she folds her arms with a disgusted huff. “So this is why you’re not returning my calls?”

  No, I haven’t been returning her calls because I’m not ready to deal with her yet. She’s always been a source of negativity and dealing with her is so emotionally exhausting sometimes so I’ve been avoiding her.

  “I’m sorry, Dani. I’ve just been really busy and—”

  “So what? Are you going to keep me away from my niece like you tried to do with Dean? I’m her family too you know.”

  I grit my teeth, trying to stomp down my anger bubbling just below the surface. Dani has always been flighty and unpredictable. I don’t feel comfortable letting Caroline go anywhere with her so each time she’s asked I always find some excuse not to let her go. I’ve told her numerous times she can come to the house anytime we are home and visit but that doesn’t seem to be good enough for her.

  “I’ve told you plenty of times that you are more than welcome to see Caroline anytime you want.”

  “Yeah…as long as you are there to supervise. I don’t need a babysitter to spend time with my niece.”

  “It’s not that,” I lie. “The past year has been hard on her and she’s still adjusting.”

  “Looks like you’re adjusting just fine though,” she says, snarling her lip.

  Linc hasn’t said a word but I can feel his ire when he shifts his feet, squeezing my hand. He’s never cared for Dani either. They’ve only met once, but that single encounter was enough to put a bad taste in his mouth forever. And right now I can tell he wants to say something but he’s biting his tongue for me.

  “My personal life is none of your business.”

  “I can’t believe this. This is bullshit and you know it.” Dani takes a step forward, her fists clenched at her sides.

  “All right, that’s enough,” Linc growls, pulling me toward the entrance.

  “This isn’t over,” Dani snaps just as the door closes shut.

  “I’m proud of you, baby. You did the right thing.” I nod, taking a seat in the booth.

  I know I made the right choice, keeping my guard up around her, but it doesn’t make it any less painful. Dani is the only link to Caroline’s father besides me, and I pray that Dani will work toward a positive relationship with her.

  Present

  It’s been a week and I still can’t wipe the smile off my face. Linc is here every day when I get home from work and I have to practically shove him out the door each night. He doesn’t want to leave my side and I love him all the more for it, but we both agree we need to ease Caroline into this.

  Each night, long after Caroline falls asleep, we spend an obscene about of time making out on the couch.

  Which is what we are doing now.

  Linc is on his side with my heated body plastered to his front, our legs tangled together like vines. One hand has made its way beneath my shirt to cup my breast while he worships my mouth. The man is a phenomenal kisser. We should both be experts by now, considering we’ve spent hours upon hours practicing.

  He’s leaving in a couple of days and he’ll be gone for two weeks, so I’m trying to absorb every moment I can with him.

  “I don’t want you to leave.” I feel selfish saying it, I know he has to go, but I can’t help it. I’m going to miss him terribly. Now that he’s back, I’m not sure how I survived this long without him.

  Removing his hand from my shirt, he cups my
cheek, dragging his thumb back and forth across my skin. “You can always come with me.”

  This has been an ongoing conversation all week. I was tempted to say yes when he asked the first time. I would love nothing more than to spend the two weeks with him and see what his life is like outside of here. But I can’t bring myself to leave Caroline for that long. Besides, he’ll be working most of the time, giving interviews and performing.

  I would only be in the way.

  “You know I can’t do that.” Lowering my head to his chest, I sigh, wishing I could.

  “I have a surprise for you.”

  I smile, lifting my eyes to his. “You do?”

  He nods, kissing me once more before rising from the couch and walking out the front door.

  A few minutes later he returns holding two boxes. They are both wrapped in black paper with hot pink bows.

  I sit up and he places them in my lap. Then Linc situates himself behind me, his hands resting on my hips.

  “What’s this?”

  Looking over my shoulder, he grins. “What’s it look like?”

  “Smart-ass,” I say, elbowing his gut playfully.

  He grunts.

  I examine the pretty boxes, excited to find out what’s inside. He removes the smaller one, leaving the larger box in my lap. He’s giddy, his boyish smile making him look even more handsome.

  If that’s even possible.

  Smiling, I tear into the paper to reveal a rose gold MacBook Pro.

  “You don’t have a computer and this is a good way for us to keep in touch while I’m gone. We can FaceTime every night,” he says.

  “Linc, you didn’t have to do this. I can FaceTime you from my phone.”

  “True, but the way I plan on utilizing this, you’ll need to be hands free.” His deep, husky voice seeps through my veins, wrapping itself around my heart as he pushes my hair off my shoulder and kisses the crook of my neck.

  The implication makes me blush. Linc is not shy at all in the bedroom.

  Unlike me.

  Setting the box on the coffee table I turn around, throwing my arms around his neck. “Thank you. I love it.”