by Autumn Marks
“Doesn’t it feel good to tell someone?”
Emily sat back in her chair and thought about that for a second. “Yeah, I guess I do feel a tiny bit better.”
“Feel like talking about why your night has been so terrible? I saw you and Brandon dancing earlier and it seemed like you two were having a good time.”
What the hell? Why not let it all out while she had a captive audience. “None of this can get back to Brandon.”
“Honey, in my job, I hear everyone’s secrets,” she said, pointing to her ears. “I don’t spread them.”
“I told Brandon I loved him tonight. And he didn’t exactly reciprocate.”
Mickey nodded her head like she’d heard this one before. In her line of work, Emily assumed she probably had, at least a dozen times or more. “I see. That’s always tough because I’m sure it was no easy feat for you to put yourself out there like that.”
“I shouldn’t have done it. I acted too quickly.”
“I don’t think that at all. You can’t help how you feel and if you felt the time was right, then it probably was the right time—for you. Now you just need to wait for the right time for him.”
“Do you think he’ll say it?” Emily asked. A dumb question. It wasn’t like Mickey had a window into Brandon’s mind. But she was desperately seeking some reassurance to soothe her hurt feelings.
Mickey’s eyes softened as though she was about to deliver a blow, but in the nicest way possible so as not to upset her any further. “I think you know I don’t have an answer for that.”
A long pause passed between them, Emily too busy worrying her lip to ask another question. She wasn’t going to hear what she wanted anyway, so why bother? “But,” Mickey continued, “if I were you, I wouldn’t let this come between the two of you. He probably needs time to process it because he’s had a lot heaped on his plate recently.”
“And I just added one more thing to it,” Emily huffed. If Mickey was trying to make her feel better, she wasn’t doing a very good job of it.
“That’s not what I meant. Just give him time. That’s all you can do really.”
“Time,” Emily repeated, as though this was a new word she had just learned. She was good at giving people her time. She’d given Jason five years’ worth of her time and what did she have to show for it? She’d given her friends a couple years of her time to help them plan their weddings. She could give Brandon time. It wasn’t like she was running out of it. “Okay. I’ll give him time then.”
“I’m sorry, Emily. I really wish I could offer you better and more positive insight here, but I can’t speak for Brandon and I don’t want to put ideas in your head that aren’t true.”
“I know. I know,” Emily said, leaning back and staring upward, hoping she’d gain some sort of enlightenment by doing so. It didn’t work. She snapped her attention back to Mickey. “I appreciate you listening to my problems tonight, but I think it’s time for me to head home. I’m ready to rip these godawful shoes off of my feet.”
Mickey chuckled. “You come and see me at the restaurant soon.”
Are you okay?
Emily stared down at her phone screen, looking at the last message she’d sent—two hours ago. Brandon still hadn’t replied to that one, or the four that had come before it.
She paced the kitchen, looking out her back window at Brandon’s backyard and seeing no sign of activity. She hadn’t even seen Ollie, which was unusual considering she would normally see him out first thing most mornings. She could’ve missed seeing Ollie, but that was highly unlikely considering she’d been keeping an eye on the yard all morning.
All this watching, waiting, and texting was probably bordering on stalking, but she didn’t care. The knot in her stomach told her something was up.
Brandon was home, that much she knew. When she’d come home last night, his car had been in the driveway, but all the lights in his house had been off. Emily had assumed he was in bed.
That would explain why he hadn’t texted her last night. But what about this morning? It was going on noon and she still hadn’t heard a peep.
Emily looked down at the phone screen again while her fingers drummed impatiently on the countertop.
Screw it. She’d waited long enough. She was going to go pay him a visit.
Brandon squeezed his eyes shut, trying to rid himself of the pain that throbbed behind his eyes. He hadn’t even managed to get out of bed yet despite Ollie nosing him several times. In a night filled with bouts of broken-up sleep, he’d probably only slept a total of a few hours at most.
All night long, he’d tossed and turned while thinking of Trina. His mind had replayed that fateful night over and over, skewing the memory so much until at one point, it was Emily’s face he’d seen and her life he’d ended. It was then that he’d jerked up in bed, his body having broken out in a cold sweat with the sheets completely twisted around his legs.
He could never tell Emily the truth and he had to end the only thing that had been going right in Brookview. But he should’ve known that happiness and Brookview could never go hand-in-hand.
He rolled over, looked at the clock on his nightstand, and did a double take. Almost noon—which meant Ollie was past due for going outside. He looked around for his dog and found him snoozing against the wall, a ball right in front of his face.
Brandon placed his feet on the floor which made Ollie raise his head.
“Do you need to go outside?”
Ollie jumped up with more vigor than Brandon thought possible of him, and wagged his tail.
Brandon let him outside and Ollie barely made it to the grass before peeing. He left Ollie to it and went to the kitchen to get his food ready. As he was scooping the dry food into Ollie’s bowl, there was a knock at the door.
With each thud, his stomach twisted a little bit more. There were only two people who could possibly be at his door now. He doubted it was his mom, although it wouldn’t be the first time she’d stopped by unannounced. That left none other than the one he couldn’t bear to see.
He wasn’t ready for this. His mind was all sorts of fucked up and he wasn’t sure if he’d actually see Emily standing there. Or would he see Trina? He’d seen her enough in his mind last night to remember vividly what she’d looked like. Whenever he looked at Emily now, would he see nothing but her sister?
The knocking continued and he stood stock-still, working up the courage to open the door. But his feet refused to propel him forward toward the door.
“Brandon? Are you okay?” It was Emily’s voice.
I’m the farthest thing from okay. “Give me a minute!” he shouted, loud enough for her to hear him.
Brandon went to his bedroom to throw on a shirt, then walked to the front door. He gripped the doorknob, as if that small object would be enough to support him. With a deep breath, he swung it open, the sunlight blinding him. He blinked a few times to bring the figure standing at his door into focus. It was Emily standing there—not Trina. He let out a big sigh.
“So you are alive,” Emily said.
Barely. “It appears so.”
“I texted you multiple times and you didn’t answer.”
“You did? I haven’t checked my phone yet.”
“I was worried since you’d left in such a hurry last night.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said, knowing full well Emily deserved better than that half-assed apology.
Emily leaned forward to inspect him. “How are you feeling today?”
You don’t want to know. “Still a little off. I think I’d better lay low today just to be on the safe side.”
“Do you need anything? I can run to the store if you’d like.”
Brandon smiled, despite himself. Emily was too good for him. He didn’t deserve her kindness, not when he knew what needed to happen. “I appreciate the offer, but I think I’m good. I’ll text you if I think of anything.”
“Okay, just let me know.”
“I will. Than
ks.”
Emily hesitated, as if she had another question on her tongue, but then turned on her heel and walked back to her house.
Brandon shut the door and leaned against it. He closed his eyes, seeing Emily’s sweet face in his mind, and wanted to keep it there forever. That was how he wanted to remember her. Not the look he’d surely get when he told her it was over.
Chapter 28
Emily arrived home after shuttling the Couple from Hell around all day. Searching for a house for this couple was like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, except she hadn’t found one that was “just right.” They’d seen five homes today, not including all the ones she’d shown them in previous weeks. And still, they hadn’t found “the one.”
She’d found them their forever home early on, but they’d hesitated and lost out. Now, they’d spent the last several weeks chasing a home that didn’t exist because their perfect home was already pending.
After changing out of her work clothes, she walked down to the kitchen to peruse the fridge for something to eat. While wavering between a premade salad and a sandwich, a knock at the door jerked her upright.
Is it Brandon? It was the first thought that came to mind even though she was annoyed with him. It’d been days since she’d last spoken to him, and he hadn’t even bothered to text her. Not once. The fact that she’d been getting the silent treatment after she’d poured her heart out to him didn’t sit well with her. If he was somehow working up the courage to tell her that he loved her—she sure wished he would hurry up and get on with it.
Another set of knocks sounded.
With a heavy sigh, Emily closed the fridge door and walked toward the front of the house. She flung the door open. Brandon stood at her doorstep wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a T-shirt. He probably hadn’t even been trying to look sexy tonight, but she couldn’t stop the way her body tingled when she saw him. Her hormones needed to get clued in because she was supposed to be mad. But if he kissed her right now, she wouldn’t mind.
“Brandon. So nice to see you,” she said with a razor-sharp edge to her voice. She hoped it conveyed to him that she was ticked off.
“Sorry it’s taken me so long to get here.” His eyes were on his feet the whole time. Ashamed, no doubt, Emily thought.
“Would you like to come in?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
As he stepped over the threshold, his blue eyes focused on her and something about the way he looked at her made her gut clench. His eyes were sad, sorrowful, not playful and full of mischief like they usually were. Even his posture was off. Had something happened?
He headed toward the living room and waited for her to enter before sitting down on the couch. So she could keep her eyes fully on him, Emily took a seat in one of her chairs across from him.
“I’m sorry for not texting you before coming over here. I saw your car and figured it was okay.”
“Can I get you anything? Something to drink maybe? I might have a stray beer hanging around in the fridge.”
He waved her off. “Don’t trouble yourself. I’m not planning on staying long.”
“Is everything okay? Did something happen with your dad?”
“Everything is fine with him.” Brandon sat on the edge of the couch with his elbows propped up on his knees, rubbing a hand over the scruff of his face. “I came over here for a different reason.”
“Which is?”
The silence that stretched between them lasted for what seemed like forever. The longer he made her wait, the more doom-and-gloom reasons for his visit popped in her head. Maybe it was something with his mom. Maybe something happened with his friend Garrett. Or maybe something happened to Ollie.
Brandon held her gaze. “Emily, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this, so I want you to know I didn’t come to this decision lightly.”
Emily swallowed past the tightness in her throat while she waited for him to continue.
“I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed our time together and how you’ve really made me see that Brookview is a place worth living in.”
“But?” she choked out, her mouth becoming dry all of the sudden.
“But school will be starting soon and I feel it’s best for me to start the school year without any distractions.”
White-hot anger bubbled up in her chest. “So that’s what I am to you? A distraction?”
“No!” he shouted, his eyes wide open. “That’s not what I meant. What I mean is that you’re all I think about now. I’m so consumed by you that I can’t think of anything else. And I can’t have that come the start of the school year. I need to concentrate on my job and my students, so I feel it’s best for us to part ways now.”
“Don’t tell me what’s best for me.”
“I need some distance—for me.”
Tears fell down Emily’s cheeks before she’d even realized they’d formed. “It was too soon, right? The speech I wrote?”
Brandon leaned forward and fisted his hands through his hair. He sat still, squeezing his eyes shut, looking almost in pain. She hoped that was the case. Then he’d feel a little of what she felt.
“Yes,” he said, so low it was almost a whisper.
Emily sat there, unable to move, staring back at the beautiful man who was shattering her heart in a million tiny pieces. That same man who had made her reexamine her perfectly controlled life, and had given her more fun times in the last several weeks than Jason had in the last five years.
Was it possible to love someone and hate them at the same time?
Brandon hated himself in this moment. This image would forever be burned in his mind: Emily sitting in her chair, her shoulders slumped, her beautiful lips quivering, and tears streaming down her cheeks. And he should carry this image forever since he was the asshole who put her in that state. It was his penance for breaking off the best thing that had ever happened to him.
It took everything he had to keep from touching her. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hug her, to kiss her and hold her close. He’d wipe those tears from her eyes and take it all back, swearing up and down that he loved her with every fiber of his being.
Her speech wasn’t too soon. He’d keep that speech forever, knowing that what they’d shared was true love. But he couldn’t be with her—not without feeling guilty every time he saw her because of what he’d done. Or more like what he hadn’t done.
He needed to leave. The damage had already been done and no amount of talking on his part was going to make it any better. He’d accomplished what he set out to do: make her hate him. Now she could move on and find someone else, even though the thought of her being with someone else made him burn with jealousy. But it was for the best—for her.
Brandon stood up and looked down at Emily; her body seemed so small in this moment. She brought her head up slowly to meet his gaze. His heart twisted as she looked at him with tears in her eyes. He had to touch her one last time. Had to feel her skin against his, hoping she’d allow him this privilege, just this once.
He bent down and pressed his lips to her forehead. With his eyes closed, he poured his heart into that small kiss, wishing to say so much without actually saying it. He loved her—and always would. Pulling away, he gazed into her beautiful green-flecked brown eyes and saw a tear forming at her eyelid. He brushed it away with his thumb and said, “I’m sorry.”
Brandon headed toward the front door, refusing to turn back to look at the destruction he’d done. As he stepped through and closed the door to her house, it felt like he was closing the door to a definitive chapter of his life.
Emily had made him feel whole again. She’d made him happy, something he thought could never be possible in his hometown. She’d made her mark on his life and he’d never forget her.
Chapter 29
“I’ve got cookies, ice cream, popcorn, candy,” Audrey said, shuffling through her shopping bags. “Did I miss anything?”
“I brought the drinks and the movies,” Stephani
e said, holding up her bags before setting them on the counter in Emily’s kitchen. “And the pizzas should be here any minute.”
“You guys should’ve let me provide something too,” Emily added.
“No way,” Audrey said, shaking her head. “You’ve been through enough. Let Steph and I handle the evening.”
Emily had told them—both of them—about her breakup with Brandon. She hadn’t said much more than that, unable to speak without crying which made it difficult to get the words out. Sensing Emily’s distress, Audrey and Stephanie immediately planned for a Friday night meet-up of their Girls’ Club.
While Emily put the ice cream away in the freezer, Audrey got down plates and napkins from her cupboard. Stephanie handled paying for the pizza when it arrived and brought it into the kitchen.
“I got you your favorite, Em,” Stephanie said when she set the pizza boxes down on the counter.
Oh, no. Emily’s heart squeezed and she looked at the ceiling, trying to keep the tears at bay.
Stephanie was getting ready to open the boxes when she sensed Emily’s hesitation. “What’s wrong? You love barbecue chicken pizza.”
“I do love it. But I can’t think about it without thinking of him.” She couldn’t utter his name. She thought she’d been handling it well today, when she could think of him without crying. But the pizza brought back a fresh flood of memories. “It’s just that we ate barbecue chicken pizza together after his dog destroyed the flowers in my yard.”
Audrey frowned and wrapped her arms around Emily. “I’m sorry, Em. I told her what to order.”
“You couldn’t have known,” Emily said to soothe her friend’s feelings.
“Well, lucky for you, I ordered pepperoni too.” Stephanie shoved the barbecue chicken pizza to the side and opened up the box of pepperoni pizza.
Emily smiled. “Thanks, guys.” Once they were all seated at the table, she took a bite of her pizza. The salty cheese with the crispy-edged fatty pepperoni tasted pretty dang good. “Maybe pepperoni can be my new favorite.”
