To Live Again

by Melody Dawn

  Surprised he offered, I ask, “Do you mean using condoms as well?” He sighs and says, “Yes. Even though I don’t want to, which I know makes me an asshole. I would do it for you.”

  See this is why I love him; I feel better now, I’m not just a shallow nympho. I love him for all of his great qualities.

  Though it might smart, the thought of using condoms is not appealing to me at all.

  “I don’t know,” I say. “We don’t have to decide tonight.”

  He gives me a kiss on the top of my head and says, “No, we don’t, but you do need to finish getting ready; it’s getting late.”

  Thinking about what all we discussed, I grabbed my clothes, shoes, and my bag with everything I need to get ready and head for the bathroom. Dropping my shorts and t-shirt, I put my silver and purple Hanky Panky bra and panties on…and, yes, that is a designer name! It makes me laugh about the hanky panky comment from this morning. In addition to being a purse and shoe whore, I am also a lingerie slut. Oh well, I like it; it makes me feel sexy and Jayson’s eyes will pop out of his head when he sees it.

  I decide to do my hair down in barrel curls. But first, I need to get my clothes on or I will mess up my hair later. Remembering Ava’s sparkle lotion, I rub it everywhere that will be on display tonight and even some that won’t be. She’s right; it’s sparkly and it does smell great. Next, I pull the tank top over my head and it looks good with my HP bra. Somebody’s going to be looking at the ladies tonight! Then I try pulling her skirt up my legs. What the hell? I know she isn’t that much smaller than I am! I finally get the skirt pulled up and it’s tight around the hips and ass before it gets looser. I turn around and look at my back image. Shit, you can see my panty line!

  I open the door just a tiny bit and ask, “Jayson, can you go and get your mom for me?

  ” He says ok and the next thing I hear is a knock on the bathroom door.

  Ava says, “Honey, it’s me. Open up.”

  I open the door just enough for her to come into the bathroom and I say, “Look!”

  She looks me over and says, “Ok, what’s wrong?”

  Turning around, I say, “For one, you can see my panty lines and two, look how tight it is in the hips!”

  She rolls her eyes and says, “Good grief, Chloe, I thought something bad happened. Take off your panties and the skirt is made to be tight in the hips and ass…you just need to loosen up, have fun, and go out and shake your moneymaker!” My moneymaker?“Anything else,” she asks?

  I grin and shake my head no. “I’d be afraid if there was!”

  She is a hugger like her son, so she hugs me and says, “I want you to go out there tonight and have fun; forget about things that have happened in the past, and just concentrate on having a great time with my son…just not too great.” She winks at me and opens the door saying, “Hurry up, I ordered the pizza y’all wanted.”

  Feeling like I’m doing something really bad, I pull up the skirt as far as I can and pull down my panties…I’m praying no one will be able to tell. I’m going to have to be super careful with these splits on each side of the skirt. I finish up my hair, brush my teeth, and do my makeup. I’m not great at the smoky eye stuff Madison talks about, but my makeup is more dramatic than usual, which means I actually have something on more than blush and lip gloss. I put my heels on my feet and instantly decide I’m bringing some ballet flats with me; I’m not going to be in foot hell tonight just to look good.

  I open up the bathroom door to see Jayson leaning against the pillows on his bed looking at something on his iPad. I study him for a moment and think I must be the luckiest girl in the world. He has on black jeans, boots, and a light blue button down shirt untucked with the sleeves rolled up. A couple of buttons are left open at the top exposing his throat, which turns up the heat even more. I just want to pour chocolate syrup on him and lick him!

  He looks up at me and says, “Fuck!”

  “What…what is it,” I ask?

  Standing up, he comes over to me and says, “I think we will be having that condom discussion sooner than later.”

  I pull him down to me and say, “I think so, too! How the hell do you look so good without hardly doing anything? I’ve been getting ready for hours. Your hair looks like a sexy mess and this mouth is such a turn-on.”

  I take my finger and trace his slips; I didn’t think it was possible, but his eyes actually get even greener.

  He grabs my hand and pulls both of my arms up placing them around his neck and says, “You’re one to talk. Turn around and let me see the back of that skirt.” I give him a little twirl and he says, “Your ass is enough to turn a gay guy straight, baby!”

  I roll my eyes because it’s so not true, but secretly I’m thrilled that he likes the way I look. “So, are you saying you like my bubble butt,” I ask him teasingly?

  Turning us toward the bed, he lays down and pulls me on top of him, which hikes my skirt up almost to my vajajay.

  When I lean down to kiss him, I say, “Just don’t touch my hair!”

  Without answering me, he devours my mouth and I feel his hands on my ass pushing me down onto his dick. I keep telling myself that this has to stop; I don’t have any panties on and I don’t want a big giant wet spot on the front of my maybe future mother-in-law’s skirt! Maybe in just a little bit, we’ll stop.

  It suddenly feels like a bucket of ice water has been thrown over me because I hear the sound of a familiar voice very close to me saying, “Mom! They’re about to start fucking again!” Oh no, my bare butt is nearly on display, not to mention my legs. Next, I hear, “Damn, little bit, you look kind of hot!”

  I can feel the rumble in Jayson’s chest as he tells him to “get the hell out.” I hide my face in Jayson’s chest, hoping he will take the hint and leave.

  When I think he is gone, I scramble off of Jayson, straighten my clothes, and furtively check for any wet spots, then try to leave the room in a dignified fashion.

  As I pass the grinning asshat who is waiting outside the door I say, “Nice cock-blocking, Connor!”

  The idiot bows to me and says, “You’re welcome.”

  I know I shouldn’t call him an asshat; he just brings it out in me. I hear some scuffling, which makes me roll my eyes and grin because they really are like two big children. I hear Jayson say that he and I need our own place and I’m on board with that. It might be too soon, but if we are going to be together this much, it would be a lot easier without people walking in on us.

  We all three walk down the stairs and I brush the back of my skirt off just in case I have any fuzzies on me. Big mistake…maybe I should say huge or epic mistake.

  Right as we walk into the kitchen, the big lug whispers to me with a sweet smile, “Oh, is your ass still sore? J really should have rubbed something into your skin to make it heal quicker.”

  I feel myself turn every color in the rainbow. I can see Jayson didn’t hear him so I flip him off, but I have plans for him, I don’t get mad; I get even. And to think I felt bad for calling him names.

  Ava has the pizza served and drinks poured; she is such a real life Martha Stewart. Right about this time, Madison walks in looking like a Britney Spears schoolgirl lookalike. I don’t know if I like it or not. I know she is trying to make a point to Connor, but maybe this isn’t the right one. Hell, who am I to judge. By the look on his face, he seems to be crazy about her look. Especially since he picks her up and practically sucks her lips off of her face.

  With a blush on her face, Madison takes a seat at the table with the rest of us. We talk about the songs we like and Jayson and Connor tell us that although it is a karaoke bar, they also have live bands on certain days of the week. After the guys scarfed down most of the pizza, it was time to go. Ava insisted on taking pictures like we were going to prom while we all complained, but secretly I’m pleased; I want a reminder of every memory Jayson and I ever make; well the PG one’s anyway.

  Giving Madison and I a hug and each of her sons a kis
s, Ava warns them to be sure someone is made the designated driver.

  “Do not call me at 2:00 AM to come and get y’all because you’re all falling down drunk.”

  I try to shake it off, but it pierces right through my heart. Determined I’m not going to let it show, I concentrate on the surprise that Jayson is going to get at the bar.

  I feel someone come up behind me and hug me and I think it’s Jayson, but no, it’s Connor. He gives me a squeeze then walks to his truck to help Madison. Jayson looks like he wants to say something and I just shake my head; I don’t want to talk about it…I don’t want that night to ruin another night again. We get into his truck and before I know it, he is telling me funny stories about his job and stupid stuff he and Connor did as kids. One more reason why I love him; he always knows when to just let me be.

  It only takes a short time to get to the bar because it’s late enough in the evening that all of rush hour traffic is long gone. When I open the door of the truck, I hear the music pumping, and I just have a feeling we are going to have an awesome time. Jayson helps me out of the truck, backs me up against it, and starts desecrating my mouth…not that I mind.

  “What’s that for,” I ask, when I have to take a breath.

  He smiles his beautiful smile at me and says, “Just reminding you that you’re mine, baby.” I give his waist a squeeze and mumble into his chest, “You don’t ever have to worry about that; that will never change.”

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  Chloe

  The bar is loud and packed with people. At first, I’m a little nervous and hang on to the back of Jayson’s shirt like it’s a lifeline. We find a table towards the center of the floor and a server comes to take our drink order; I get a Hurricane since I need some liquid courage for what I’m about to do. No one knows of my plans yet and I want to keep it that way until the last minute.

  I don’t pay much attention to what the guys order because it’s some kind of beer, which I hate. It looks awful and smells even worse; I tell them they may as well be drinking pee, but they order it anyway. The last to order is Madison and I wasn’t really paying attention until I saw this guy that looked like someone she used to hook up with. I was getting ready to tell her quietly when she tells the server she wants a Ginger Ale.

  Remembering that she drank a Ginger Ale after getting sick at the restaurant, I look at her suspiciously because Madison is never the designated driver. She just waves my concern away and says she is trying to make some changes in her life.

  There isn’t much I can say to that; I’m glad to hear it, but I don’t buy it…NOT AT ALL. Lucky for her, she is saved by Jayson and Connor telling us we need to look at the song lists to make our choices. I decide I will ask her when we go up together, but she pulls Connor along with her to the table holding the song list books.

  Jayson is looking at me strangely and I know my emotions are showing all over my face. I hate it sometimes that I can’t hide anything from him.

  He pulls my chair closer to him and says, “You don’t have to be nervous; everyone in here pretty much has fun making a fool of themselves.”

  “I’m sure I’ll be fine,” I tell him. “So, what are you going to sing,” I ask?

  He pulls on a lock of my hair and says, “Something that is probably going to embarrass you, but it’s the way I feel.”

  I scoot closer to him and ask, “Is there any chance I can talk you out of it?”

  He smiles that sexy smile that says I’m about to eat you up and says, “That depends.” I laugh because he always seems so angelic, but that smile tells me otherwise. He gives me a smack on the lips and says, “No, you aren’t changing my mind; the only way is if you don’t have any panties on under that skirt.”

  I give him a wink and he says, “Holy shit…are you really bare under there?”

  “Well, maybe, if you tell me what you’re going to sing, I might confirm or deny it. He quickly says, “Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars.”

  Hearing that makes my heart beat faster…he’s so good to me. He pulls me over onto his lap and I bury my face in his neck. How in the world did I ever find this man? “

  Ok,” I tell him, “I’m kind of going commando…it was your mom’s idea!”

  He just gives me that I’m going to eat you up smile again and doesn’t say anything. I’m wondering what I just got myself into.

  One of the waitresses gets up on stage and says the karaoke portion of the evening is about to begin. She looks down at the sign-up list and calls Connor’s name and everyone claps and screams. I try to find Madison in the crowd, but I don’t see her at all. I hope she isn’t going to miss this. I immediately turn on the video portion of my phone and the music starts up…it’s Wanted by Hunter Hayes.

  The words start and I hear Connor start to sing the first line and he sounds great. At this point, I see Madison and she’s just standing in front of the stage staring at him. He continues to sing to her and it’s like they are in their own little world. Whatever worries I had about them are gone. Tears start to run down my cheeks and Jayson hands me a napkin.

  I wipe my eyes and ask, “Did you know that he felt like this about her?” Hejust nods his head and we listen to the rest of the song in silence.

  When Connor is done, he jumps off the stage and Madison leaps into his arms. Seeing them together and so happy makes me feel like my heart is going to burst. How could I not have seen how in love they are with each other? After a few minutes of him holding her, they get back to our table.

  Giving him a hug, I say, “Connor that was so amazing! You have a beautiful voice and I’m sorry for thinking y’all weren’t really going to make it.”

  They both smile widely and I hug Madison; she’s crying too and I tell her I got it on video for a keepsake.

  There are a few more people to go before they call Madison’s name. Connor immediately asks her if she is feeling alright enough to sing. She rolls her eyes and says, “Of course! You aren’t showing me up.” Giving him a kiss, she leaves the table and walks quickly to the stage. Whatever she was going to sing, she changes it because they have to find the music and load new words for her. When her song starts up, I cannot stop laughing…it is so them.

  She starts belting out Kelly Clarkson’s, “My Life Would Suck Without You.” She winks at him when she gets to the words about them being dysfunctional but could never let him go. Once she finishes, she prances right over to him, sits in his lap, and proceeds to kiss him until it gets a little embarrassing.

  Pulling away from Connor, she says, “I am so thirsty.” I push my drink over to her and she hesitates saying, “Um, I think I might have something contagious.”

  I hear Jayson cough and say, “Bullshit” and I just stare at her. It’s all starting to fall into place.

  I point at her and say, “YOU ARE PREGNANT!!”

  She looks around nervously and I say, “Don’t even try to deny it; you are, aren’t you? When did this happen”

  I immediately feel hurt because why wouldn’t she tell me; we tell each other everything.

  She sees the hurt look on my face and says, “Chloe, it wasn’t like I didn’t want to tell you; we are still trying to get used to the fact ourselves. And it happened the day we all met and went to Chipotle.”

  Smiling at her, I say, “Slut!”

  She gives me the finger and says, “You were doing it with Jayson in your mind so whatever.”

  Well, that is true. Her reason for not telling me also makes sense even if I don’t want it to; I know I can’t be mad at her. I probably wouldn’t have told until I was pushing the baby out.

  I jump off of Jayson's lap and run around the table to her. I give her the biggest hug I can and then one to Connor as well. I’m so excited I do a touchdown celebration dance because I’m going to be an aunt. I’m going to have another family member and you bet I am going to spoil him or her.

  I tell Connor, “I hope it’s a girl; I’m going to bedazzle everything she has!”

>   He groans, but I see the proud look on his face with his hand over Madison’s stomach.

  Realizing that Jayson hasn’t said anything, I look over at him nervously. I can’t imagine him being an ass about this, but I’m worried because he is just sitting there. I walk back to him and sit down in his lap and lightly pinch his leg.

  “Shit, ouch, did you just pinch me” he asks loudly?

  “Why aren’t you saying anything?” I ask in a loud whisper.

  Connor says, “He’s just giving me a hard time, little bit. We’re fine.”

  I guess he is right because Jayson gets up and hugs Madison and shakes Connor’s hand, but I can’t get rid of the feeling that he is a little upset about the situation.

  I don’t get to dwell on those thoughts anymore because they call Jayson up to the stage. Madison is grinning because she knows how embarrassed I get in situations like this. I think the music is about to start, but instead a guy from the stage brings him a chair. Jayson looks out over the audience and motions for me to come up there. I’m officially going to kill him!

  “Did y’all know about this,” I hiss at Connor and Madison. And all I get is more laughing. I tell Maddie, “I would so open up the can of whoop ass if you weren’t pregnant!”

  I drag my feet going as slowly to the stage as possible. What is he going to do? Jesus, I feel like I’m going to hurl all over my pretty shoes.

  When I get to the stage, he says, “It took you long enough.”

  I try to smile, but say through gritted teeth, “No more sex, ever!”

  All I get is laughter and cheers from the audience; what is wrong with these people, I’m serious! Ok, not really.

  Seating me in the chair, he takes my hand. He tells the crowd that we met in class one day and with one look he was hooked. Oh Jesus, here comes the tears. Then he says that we went through some hard times, some great times, and now we’re happier than ever. The crowd is clapping and he kneels down in front of me. I’m trying to concentrate on what he is saying, but I can’t breathe. Is he proposing? No way, he can’t be.