Ahdan

by Nikki Clarke

  "You’re not dead," I say with barely a voice. He smiles and swings his legs to the side of the pallet, making me flinch back.

  "Come here." He motions to the space between his legs, and I stare at the spot, only to realize that he's sporting an amazing hard-on. He follows my widened gaze and smirks. "Though I do not really wish to, I cannot help it. My heart is beating very fast. It would help if you could calm. Come."

  He motions again, and I rise from my place to make my way over to him. Despite my shock at what's happened, I want to be close to him. I want to reassure myself as his mother did.

  I arrive at the space between his legs, and he takes me by the waist and pulls me close. I fall into him, taking in the warmth of his skin, his woodsy scent, and his thudding heart. I close my eyes and listen to the thump, thump, thump.

  "You’re not dead." I whisper.

  "I am not," he says with a short chuckle, "and I would thank you for this."

  I lift my head and peer at him. "What did I do?"

  He leans down and rubs his nose across mine. "You exist. Listen."

  He stills, and I pause, waiting for whatever he's talking about. I don't hear anything, but his hearts. They're a loud double beat, one subtle, the other bassy and full.

  "They're beating again."

  "They are."

  "I don't understand."

  He presses his temple to the side of my head. "Listen. Do you hear my heart?"

  I nod. It's all I hear, and it's a sound I could listen to all day.

  "Now listen to your heart."

  I focus on the muscle in my chest. It beats strongly too, and the longer I listen, the more I realize that each thump is perfectly in sync with Ah'dan's louder one. The sound reverberates through my chest, and I press a hand there as if that will steady it, but the beat only gets more powerful and more sure. It only syncs more perfectly to the sound thumping from Ah’dan’s chest. Above me, he sighs.

  “You are the one who was meant for me. My heart is yours now. I am yours. I love you, my lehti."

  ***

  "So, when she had her heart replaced, it made your heart stop beating, and that's why that happened?"

  Ah'dan nods. We're sitting at the table waiting for his parents to bring in food. There’s too much nervous energy for anyone to eat, but as Quth sets down the first plate, my eyes stray to it, and my mouth waters. It looks really good.

  "Are you listening to me, lehti?"

  "Huh?" I tear my eyes from the plate of Lyqa broccoli to find him watching me with a peculiar expression.

  "I am attempting to explain the amazing tale of how your love brought me back from the dead, but you do not seem able to look away from the food."

  "Mm hm." My eyes follow another plate as it's set down in front of me, and I can't wait anymore. I reach over and pick up a sauce covered spear with my fingers. I fold the leafy stalk into my mouth, and moan around the sweet, spicy flavor. "Mmmmm."

  I lick my fingers and reach for another, my eyes closing in rapture as I chew the crunchy flesh. I pick up another and another. I reach for the broccoli, and the new tangy sauce has me shimmying my shoulders in delight.

  "Holy shit."

  My eyes blink open after Tiani's exclamation to find everyone staring at me again. I lick my thumb and force myself to chew slowly.

  “What?”

  Tee's eyes are wide, and Amina's lips are folded in like she's trying not to smile. Shay's brows lift high on her forehead as her mouth pulls into a slow grin. Beside me, Ah'dan leans forward and buries his nose into my hair, inhaling deeply.

  "Were you ill earlier, lehti?"

  I turn a perplexed look on him. "What do you mean?"

  "Did you vomit excessively at any point after I left you?"

  I think back over the past couple of hours. So many things have happened that it takes a moment for me to recall the long minutes I spent bent over the toilet in Tiani's house.

  "I threw up after I found out you were dying." I say the last word softly, scared to even voice it again.

  "And how much did you vomit?" He nuzzles my head, inhaling deeply over and over.

  "She puked for a solid three minutes. I was on the line. I just thought she was in shock."

  "I was in shock," I say to Tee, who pulls a face like she knows something I don't. "What?"

  "Perhaps you were in shock, but that is not why you vomited, and that is not why you feel the urge to eat everything on this table."

  It’s true. They've managed to distract me, but my mind is still on the spread before us. I'm eyeing a deep purple pile of leaves across from Bati as we speak.

  "What do you mean? What's wrong with me?" I look back at Ah'dan, worry knocking aside my hunger, but instead of doom and gloom, his eyes are golden and happy.

  "Nothing is wrong, my heart. You are beautiful and perfect, and you are also pregnant.”

  He settles a hand over my belly, and I follow his gaze with wide eyes.

  I snort out a laugh, ready to call bullshit, but Amina sighs loudly, drawing everyone’s attention.

  “Oh, thank god, it’s not just me!”

  EPILOGUE

  "SHE RECEIVED THAT better than I expected."

  I rock the baby in my arms as Ah'dan comes up behind me carrying our other daughter. I snort and arch a brow.

  "That's because she thinks you're hot, which is so embarrassing."

  "It is embarrassing that your lehti is an attractive male?" he replies in mock affront.

  "It’s embarrassing that my mother basically gushes every time she sees you. That woman was ready to call the government on your brothers, but you show up, and she's perfectly okay with life on other planets."

  He chuckles and kisses the top of our daughter's head. Her tight, pitch black curls are the only thing visible above the carrier strapped to his chest.

  "I am glad she and your father took the news well. I would have them know their grandchildren, and it will be easier for her to visit with KJ since she can come here now."

  It’s true. We had to swear her to secrecy with my brother, but in the end, she agreed because she loves her grandkids.

  "I'm just happy to be home. I think it may be time to get these babies on formula. My little boobies can't keep up."

  I gave birth a little over a month ago—two beautiful, big girls. Everyone was as shocked as I was to find out that I was having twins, too, but I love these little munchkins. Unlike Tiani’s sons and Amina's babies—the older set of twins and her two new boys—mine are completely identical. So much so, that I'm their mother, we have lehti’an, and I still have to check the small imprint the birthing center placed on their ankles so we could tell them apart.

  "Basra needs a change," Ah'dan says with a face as he unwraps the baby from his chest. He kisses her cheek and then holds her away, turning his face to the side as he carries her to the changing table.

  "Poor thing. That's not Basra, though."

  He frowns, tilting his head to take in the baby's brownish-red skin and dark hair. He studies our daughter's features for a moment before giving up with a shake of his head and turning her little ankle to peer at the side.

  "I am sorry, Niq'a. Your ahpa knows who you are."

  Our daughter gurgles and kicks her legs as Ah'dan changes her. When she's clean, he brings her over to where I sit nursing Basra. I watch him fawn over her, and I still can't believe that they're here—that he's here. I look him over, taking in the features I feel blessed to see every day. His hair is longer. It hangs down between his shoulder blades now. He’s still not wearing a shirt, and the muscles of his biceps and chest flex as he tickles our baby. I let my eyes follow the panel of his nose and his slightly droopy eyes. When he grins down at Niq’a, I focus on his full, lovely lips. He made love to me this morning until the babies woke up to eat. It had been firm and deliberate and amazing. Every time I move, I'm reminded of where he's been. Knowing that I almost didn’t have this makes my chest tighten in panic.

  "You are starin
g at me again, lehti."

  I look away, blinking back the tears that mist over my eyes. Ah'dan sighs and stops playing with the baby to focus on me.

  "I am here, lehti. I am not going anywhere."

  "I know, I know. It's just so scary sometimes. I remember what you looked like, so still, so gone. I don't think I could deal with that again."

  My daughter falls back from my breast, her mouth wide open and spilling over with milk. I snort out a laugh and wipe her mouth. She's out, and she's managed to break the tension. When Basra starts to fuss, I switch with Ah'dan, who rocks our sleeping daughter while I fit her sister to my other breast. She latches on, drinking greedily.

  "These little chunkies." I sigh.

  Ah'dan reaches for my hand, bringing it to his lips.

  "I am here for you and our little chunkies," he says as he places a lingering kiss over my fingers. "You are the keeper of my heart, and I will use the strength of our heartbeats to protect and love you and our children for as long as I am able, which will be a long time. You are my lehti. You are my heart. As long as you thrive, I will thrive, too, and when we are elderly, and our children have children of their own, and you cease to exist in this plane of existence, I will follow you wherever you go. Until then, I am yours, you are mine, and we are each other’s."

  The End.