Mail Order Madness

by Kirsten Osbourne

  Albert looked toward the house. “I guess she’s the music.”

  David chuckled. “She is right now.”

  “Well, she’s definitely not a tune I like.”

  When Susan reached them, she held her hand out for Albert’s. “Are you ready for your punishment?”

  Albert looked down at his feet. “I guess so, but do I have to hold your hand on the way back to the house?”

  Susan nodded solemnly. “It’s part of the punishment. You have to talk to me, too.” She knew Albert would rather do anything than hold her hand, so she made a big deal about holding hands with him, swinging their hands back and forth.

  David met her eyes and winked at her as he watched them walk back toward the house. He realized a little more every day just how incredible the woman he’d married was.

  Susan waited until they were out of earshot of David before saying, “You know you broke the rule we were talking about during our conversation about it.” Her voice portrayed just how silly she thought that was.

  Albert sighed and kicked at a weed in his path. “I know.”

  “You know I’m going to punish you for it, right?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Do you remember the punishment for disobedience?” As if he could forget the punishment when they’d just been talking about it.

  “I have to do whatever I was told to do ten times.” His shoulders sagged as he said it. “So I get to knock over a chair nine times and pick it up ten?”

  Susan shook her head. “No, knocking over the chair is fun, so I get to do that part. You just have to pick it up ten times, and set it right at the table.” She did her best not to smile as she told him, because she didn’t want him to think she was laughing at his punishment.

  “You do know that’s stupid, right?”

  “I tried to talk your pa into letting me take a switch to your bottom instead, but he said I couldn’t. So I have to get creative with ‘stupid’ punishments.” She grinned down at his bowed head. “Would you rather I used a switch?”

  “That doesn’t sound as stupid as picking up a chair ten times.”

  She laughed. “It doesn’t sound as stupid to me either, but your pa feels differently.” She opened the door and waited while he preceded her into the house.

  He walked straight to the dining room and picked up the chair he’d knocked over. “One,” he said with a groan. She bit her lip to keep from laughing as she knocked it over. He picked it up. “Two.”

  After he reached “ten” she told him to go into his room for an hour and think about how things could be calmer around the house. After he’d stomped off to his room, she looked up and saw her audience. Sadie, Mrs. Hackenshleimer, Lewis and the twins had all been watching.

  She shrugged at the older women. “Well, that was fun.” The sarcasm in her voice told the older women she thought it was anything but fun.

  Mrs. Hackenshleimer shook her head. “That boy needs his bottom beaten.”

  “I don’t think we’re going to be able to convince David of that,” Susan said with a sigh. “Don’t worry, though. It’s all a game, and it’s a game I’m going to win! Children in large families tend to be competitive, and I come from one of the biggest!”

  She went back to the family parlor to make clothes that weren’t identical for the twins.

  *****

  During dinner that evening, David was amazed at the difference in his boys. They were all demonstrating the kind of table manners they’d had for Susan’s first visit to their house. The twins were even eating with their spoons more and less with their fingers. His eyes met Susan’s across the length of the long table.

  He gave her a slight smile trying to communicate the difference he saw and how pleased he was about it without bringing it to the attention of the boys. He was truly amazed at how much better all of his boys were behaving after less than a week. He prayed it wasn’t just the calm before the storm.

  “So what did everyone do today?” he asked.

  Albert sighed. “I spent some time in my room thinking about my behavior, and then I found the perfect tree for the tree house you said you’d help me build. When can we get started?”

  David was surprised Albert even remembered the promise. It had happened before the twins were born and Albert hadn’t mentioned it since. David studied his oldest son. Did he truly understand how difficult life had been for him as a single parent, but now things would be easier because of Susan?

  “It’s going to be a while. I have three colts I’m training right now, and each one is needed as soon as possible. That means ten hour days six days a week for a while.”

  Albert pushed his peas around on his plate, obviously annoyed by what his father had said.

  Susan had a thoughtful look on her face for a moment before saying, “I could help you, Albert. I helped my younger brothers build a tree house when I was around your age.”

  Albert stared at her in disbelief. “But you’re a girl!”

  Susan hid her grin as she shrugged. “I am. I’m also really good with a hammer and saw.” She looked at David. “How soon could you get us some lumber?”

  “I can request it tomorrow and we could have it by Wednesday. Would it be okay with you if your ma helped with it instead of me?” He held his breath waiting for the answer. This would be such a good way for Susan and Albert to come to terms with one another.

  Albert seemed to think about it for a minute. “She wouldn’t be allowed in it after she was done, because she’s a girl.”

  Susan shook her head looking very solemn. “Oh, of course not. I would never dream of going in there when it was finished. I’ll just help you build it and make sure it’s safe.” She looked at Lewis who was squirming in his chair with excitement. “You’d help, too, wouldn’t you Lewis?”

  “Yes!” The single word was shouted in his excitement.

  David hid a chuckle as he watched his wife endear his boys to her. Walter looked down at Susan. “Twee house?”

  Susan nodded. “Now you boys are too little to climb up in the tree house, but when we’re done with the tree house, maybe our building team could build a fort for you.”

  “Fort?” Thomas asked.

  “Do you know what a Fort is Thomas?”

  Thomas shook his head, his eyes wide with wonder.

  Susan directed her attention to both Thomas and Walter when she told them. “It’s a building for just the two of you to play in. No one else would be able to play in your special fort. We could keep blocks and trains in it for you.”

  “Twains?” Walter asked.

  Susan nodded. “Trains. Do you boys want a fort?”

  Both Thomas and Walter nodded their heads before returning their attention to their dinner.

  Susan met David’s eyes. “That’s settled then. If you’ll get us some wood, the boys and I will start building the tree house on Wednesday.”

  Albert looked slightly disappointed that he’d be helped by Susan and not David, but he wasn’t going to quibble because he wanted to have his tree house as soon as he could. “Will you, Pa?”

  David nodded. “I’ll order it tomorrow.” He could get one of the ranch hands to build it for them, but knew it would be a better experience for the boys, and for Susan, to build it themselves. He hoped this would make Albert feel less animosity toward his new step-mother.

  The excitement around the table was palpable. All four boys were glowing at the idea of building places to play, and Susan looked as if she was relieved she’d finally found a way to get through to Albert.

  *****

  After dinner, Susan put the little boys to bed, and when she came down the stairs she found David at the table with a pencil and paper and the boys ordering him to draw something. David’s eyes met hers. “They want me to help them design the tree house, but I’m not good with drawing. Do you have any idea how to draw a tree house?”

  Susan had always been a decent artist. “I can try.” She took the paper and pencil from Da
vid, and sketched a tree with lots of leaves and several branches that would work for building a tree house. “Is this the kind of tree we have to work with?” She had seen a similar tree not far from the house, but not all the way to the corral and thought that might be the one Albert was talking about.

  Albert looked and nodded slowly. “That’s the tree. The one that’s almost to the corral.”

  “I know which one you mean. I thought that might be it.” She drew a few rectangles spaced about a foot apart along the trunk as footholds for the boys to use as they climbed to the tree house. “We’ll pound these in first to make it easier for us to get up there.” She drew a large flat base along the top of the lowest branches of the tree. “Now, do you want walls, or should we just build several platforms to give you a several story tree house?”

  Albert and Lewis walked into the parlor and Susan and David could hear them whispering, but Susan couldn’t make out what they were saying.

  “Can we have both?” Albert asked.

  Susan shrugged. “Is that okay with you?” she asked David. “You’re buying the lumber.” Having walls would cost more of course, but she didn’t think David would quibble over extra boards.

  “I don’t see why not. It’ll take longer to build, though.”

  The four of them worked on planning out the tree house until late into the night.

  By the time they went to sleep, Susan had a drawing of what the boys wanted for their tree house complete with curtains. “Boy curtains,” Lewis insisted. “No flowers. They’re too girly!”

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” David asked as he climbed into bed and pulled her into his arms. “It’s a big project to take on.”

  Susan smiled. “Some of my best memories of being Albert’s age were the hours and hours my brothers and sister and I spent working on the tree house. Of course, we didn’t have an adult directing the project and when it was done it looked like it had been built by someone who had over-imbibed in liquor, but we were so proud of it. My younger brothers and sisters still play in it.”

  David smiled trailing a finger down her bare stomach. “Well, if you want to do it, I certainly won’t complain.” He kissed her cheek. “I can’t believe how much better the boys are already behaving. It’s like the difference between night and day.”

  “I know. I’ve been happy with them.” She traced her finger along his lips. “I’m going to have to hurry if I want to get the twins new outfits done tomorrow.”

  He frowned. “Why are you making the twins new outfits? I thought they had plenty of clothes.”

  “Oh, they do. I just think they should be able to dress in non-matching clothes if they’d like. I have younger brothers who are twins, and they hated being forced to match. As soon as they were old enough to speak in complete sentences, they insisted they be allowed to wear things that weren’t identical. I think all twins should have a choice.” People had often suggested she and Elizabeth should dress alike, and she’d hated the idea so much, she vowed she’d never do that to her children whether she had twins or not.

  “They’re only two!”

  “But they’re developing their own individual personalities. They don’t need to think of themselves as two halves of a whole. They’re each people in their own right.” Coming from a small family, he wouldn’t think about being lumped in with her siblings like she did. People would hear her last name was Miller and step back saying, “One of ‘the demon horde.’” The boys didn’t need to be lumped together that way.

  He shrugged. “I guess.”

  “If they want to continue to dress alike, they’ll have plenty of clothes to be able to do that. I just think they should have a choice.” She wanted him to see her point of view, but he seemed to have lost interest.

  “Whatever you say,” he whispered as his lips went to her neck.

  “Mmm…remember you said that.”

  No words were needed for a long time after that.

  Chapter Nine

  Susan spent the following day sewing. She left the boys to Mrs. Hackenshleimer and went to the formal parlor where she knew the boys wouldn’t go to play and just sewed as quickly as she could to get the new outfits ready for Walter and Thomas.

  Just before noon, Mrs. Hackenshleimer sought her out. “Have you seen Albert and Lewis?” she asked.

  Susan’s eyes met hers. “I’ve been here sewing all day. Are they with David?” Both boys enjoyed watching David work with the horses and often spent their mornings sitting atop the corral fence observing the methods he used to break the horses.

  “I haven’t checked yet, but I don’t think so.”

  Susan bit her lip, wondering if the nanny was just being overprotective or if there was a real problem. “They often spend the entire morning outside, don’t they?”

  “Yes, they do, but they come into the house by now asking when lunch will be. Those boys are driven by their hunger. They never stay out past eleven because they’re so hungry they try to beg for food from Sadie. She’s the one who realized they were missing.”

  Susan set down her sewing and stood. “I’ll go check with David.” She hurried out the door and to the corral. As she got close, she realized the boys weren’t with him. She felt her heart jump into her chest as she broke into a run to talk to him as quickly as she could. “David!”

  He turned, smiling at first, but quickly losing the smile as he saw the panicked expression on her face. “What’s wrong?”

  “Have you seen Albert and Lewis? I thought they were with Mrs. Hackenshleimer this morning, and she thought they were with me. I was sewing, though, and I haven’t seen them since breakfast.”

  David’s brows drew together in confusion. “I saw them this morning walking down the road. They said you told them they could walk over to the neighbor’s house because they have new kittens.”

  Susan shook her head. “They didn’t mention kittens to me at all. Which way did they go?” She squinted toward the road, hoping she would see them walking back.

  “Toward town.” He took her by the elbow and led her to the stable. Calling out to one of the men close by, he yelled, “Saddle a horse and hitch up the buggy.” He turned to Susan. “Can you drive the buggy?”

  “Of course.” She’d done enough plowing that driving a buggy was an easy task.

  “Okay, I’ll ride straight into town and look around for them there. You go to the neighboring ranches and ask around about them. Do you know if anyone has new kittens?”

  She shook her head. “If I’d heard about them, I’d have talked to you about getting one for the boys. I know they really want a cat.” She was feeling more panicked by the minute. Why would the boys lie about her saying they could do something?

  His horse was saddled and he mounted with one lithe motion. “If you find them, come right back here, and I’ll do the same. If you don’t find them, meet me back here in three hours.” He looked down at her, his eyes concerned. “If neither of us have found them in a couple of hours, we’ll start a search party.”

  She swallowed hard and got into the driver’s seat of the buggy without waiting for assistance. “Three hours.” She drove toward town, but pulled in at the first neighbor’s house, while he raced past her into town.

  She talked to six neighbors before she gave up to meet David at the ranch. No one had seen the boys. No one knew of any new kittens. The boys had obviously made the story up to do something they knew they weren’t supposed to be doing.

  As she was pulling into the driveway, she saw David on the horse with both boys riding in front of him. David’s face was serious.

  She jumped down from the buggy and ran over to the horse waiting until David dismounted and helped the boys down before saying anything. “Where were you two?”

  Albert shrugged avoiding her gaze. Lewis kept looking at his feet, obviously afraid to answer.

  David put his hand on Albert’s shoulder. “Tell her where you were.”

  Albert pulled away looking up at David. �
��But she’ll punish us, Pa.”

  David’s eyes met Susan’s and she realized then whatever they’d done, it was serious.

  “Where were you?” She kept her voice calm, but she was screaming inside. She was half afraid of what the answer would be and the other half was furious that they’d frightened her the way they had.

  Albert and Lewis exchanged a look before Lewis said, “Well, we wanted to start the tree house sooner, so we went to town to see if we could get some lumber.”

  Susan put her fists on her hips mentally counting to five before responding. “How were you planning on getting the lumber home once you found it? How were you going to pay for it?”

  Albert looked up at her earnestly. “We had a plan. We still have the money Pa gave us to be good the night you came out to see if you wanted to marry him and had dinner with us.”

  Susan’s eyes flew to David and narrowed. He’d bribed his sons to help him deceive her?

  “We figured two whole dollars would be enough to buy lumber and have someone deliver it and bring us back to the ranch.” Lewis continued the story for Albert. “Well, then we got lost, and we ended up in The Acre, and that’s where Pa found us, but we didn’t mean to be in The Acre, Ma. I swear!”

  Susan closed her eyes filled with fury. “The Acre? Your pa found you in The Acre?” Her eyes darted back and forth between the two boys.

  Albert hung his head. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “So let me get this straight. First, of all, you lied to your pa. Then you went into town without permission not letting anyone know where you were really going. And worse than that, you went to The Acre? Where your uncle was killed three weeks ago?” Her eyes met David’s. “Am I hearing all this correctly?”

  David nodded, his eyes filled with fear. She wasn’t sure if he was afraid for what could have happened to the boys or what kind of punishment she had in store for them or for how furious she must be with him for bribing the boys to deceive her in the first place.