Breaking Her

by Natalie Graham

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” She replied with a breathless whisper which was almost a sigh. I knew her cardio was good from all of the running and swimming that she liked to do so why was she so br- oh… Oh Jesus.

  My lips worked of their own volition. “Yes, you are.” My hands too, had developed a mind of their own again; gripping at her waist, my thumb traced over the dip of her belly button. God she was so tiny that I was scared I’d break her. What the fuck was happening to me? I leaned down ever so slightly brushing the tip of her nose with my own. Whipped. I was fucking whipped.

  It was hard to miss the movement of her lower lip being caught by her top teeth, that one single move had the power to turn my dick into a solid rock in seconds. Freeing her hands from my grip, I traced my way down her arm to her cheek. Pressing my palm to the delicate pink flush that was spreading over her cheeks, my fingers buried into the still wet stands of her hair. With my thumb I released her lip from the vice that was her teeth, stroking back and forth over the plump, soft skin.

  I felt completely disarmed, which was utterly ridiculous because I was – my weapons laid out on the table mocking me, but I meant emotionally. My senses had upped and left the building without so much as a so long, sayonara, au revoir or fuck you. I needed to kiss her.

  “I want to kiss these so badly.” My dick had grown its own pulse beneath my zip, I could feel it straining, as if it knew exactly where it was pressed up against. Another sweep over her lips with my thumb had my mouth watering in anticipation of our lips meeting. “So soft.” I wondered what they tasted like… I wondered what the rest of her tasted like. Fuck. “What are you doing to me? I’m not usually so… so…” Dumb? I couldn’t think straight other than think about how she tasted.

  “Unprofessional?” I smiled down at her, admiring her boldness, but that was totally the word I was looking for. “I think I like you being unprofessional.” Her gaze flicked to my lips before meeting my eyes again. That was a ‘yes’ for a kiss, if I ever saw one.

  “Is that so?” I inched closer to her again, my lips tingling as they got closer to hers. Just another millimetre and I’d be there, I’d be in heaven.

  “Olivia?” Austin crashing through the door with a handful of shopping bags snapped me out of the spell we’d been caught in. I turned my back to him so he wouldn’t notice The Betrayer standing to attention at full mast.

  I presented my hand to her to help her up as she began nervously babbling to Austin about my offer to teach her martial arts as I walked back to the table to suit up again. The first jolt of pure hatred bolted through me when I heard the change in tone of her voice, the second was when the words she spoke filtered through into my still dazed brain cells. Matthews was here and something in me wanted to roar, not just because his being here thwarted any plan that I could come up with, but because of the way he was looking at Olivia like she was still his.

  I knew it was insane to want her, but fuck, after admitting to myself that I did, it was all that I could think about. She was mine, I was going to make sure of it.

  Playtime’s over, Princess.

  FIVE

  Olivia. It was the kind of name you had to use your whole mouth to say. O-liv-i-a… It was the name that was swirling around my head on a constant loop after the first time that I’d said it and asked her to ‘scream my name’ if that shit of an ex-boyfriend so much as looked at her the wrong way; I would have beaten him to a pulp. Well, except then they’d made up hadn’t they, so I guess that made him her boyfriend again. Great.

  I’d spent the last few hours pacing up and down my room, wishing that I could just change into my gym gear and run off all of the tension which was a no go. If Olivia had wanted to leave the apartment for any reason, I had to be ready to leave with her. Boyfriend with her or not.

  God her eyes- when she’d pulled away from that cocksucker’s mouth; her eyes had latched on mine straight away, with nothing but guilt and shame in them. There was fuck all I could do or say about it though. Having the reaction I was already having to her was bad enough, none of it should have happened. The delicate touch on her back, her shoulder… pinning her to the floor. None of it. She’d looked sad which had completely thrown me. She’d just made up with her boyfriend, she should have been over the moon with joy, shouldn’t she?

  “Riley, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have led you on like that; I honestly didn’t mean to, I don’t know what I was thinking, if I was thinking at all.” My chest tightened, remembering her words. None of what happened was her fault. None of it.

  My phone pinged in my pocket just as I weighed the pros and cons of tossing myself over the balcony. No matter what I did, the stubborn hard-on was still there.

  From Austin: Do you have last month’s security report handy?

  Well, that would do it.

  Grabbing the papers from a file on my desk I walked out into the hall to the sound of the piano being played. Huh…. I figured it was for decoration as I’d never heard him play it in the short time I’d lived here.

  I walked in to the living area to the sound of Olivia’s voice- she was singing. Her long fingers stroked over the piano keys with grace and ease. Images washed through my mind of those fingers stroking over something else. Something currently springing back to life after I’d only just managed to tame it. I could see those fingers pulling at the skin on my back as I imagined her shuddering underneath me.

  Her eyes were closed, her lips held a slight smile as she sang, her head fell backwards and her hair cascaded down her back in a waterfall of curls, brushing the stool that she sat on. I wanted so badly to run my fingers through her hair. The way she was sat made me imagine her atop of me, riding me slowly, facing the ceiling as I planted slow kisses up her neck.

  Austin cut her off, hating the song that she sang so beautifully. No! Let her sing, please, let her sing.

  “What would Sir like me to play for him?” Her head snapped around, spotting me from behind the sofa. Blush filled her cheeks, Austin looked behind him to me and held his hand out for the papers. I handed them to him, and vaguely heard him mutter about the crumpled paper. They started arguing about the music she was playing and she smiled up at me. I was about to smile back at her when I realised… I already was.

  ***

  One more mile. I can run one more mile. I’d only planned on running ten, but here I was, nine past that like I was training for the London Marathon with Skrillex - Reptile pounding through my ears, sweat soaking through my t-shirt and my lungs feeling like I’d poured acid down my throat. Yet, I still didn’t feel like it was enough. Fucking treadmills. Even if I was out in the city, I still couldn’t run fast or far enough to escape the thoughts seeping through my brain, the images that flickered behind my eyes every time I blinked, despite the rate that I was covering miles at or how loud my music was.

  I had to get my brain back on track with my job then I could get the fuck out of here. I had to think of a way to get Olivia to relent to Frank and Julie. We’d already scared them into moving her to the apartment; was scaring her the way to go? I didn’t think so. According to Frank, Austin and Olivia had previously requested a DNA test on little Bobby, maybe that was the way we should be going. Why couldn’t they just agree to it? Then no one would have to get hurt. Aye, fuck his plan.

  Slamming my hand down on the stop button, I jogged until the treadmill slowed enough for me to get off before pacing around the apartment trying to warm down. I was so lost in my stretches that I didn’t notice my music had switched until the lyrics of 3OH!3’s – I’m Not The One filtered through my ears, sending a bolt of ice down my spine. I ripped the headphones from my ears and pulled my iPod from my arm, launching both down the hall back towards my bedroom.

  Music and the sound of Olivia singing, came from her bedroom. My feet worked before my brain did, positioning me in front of her slightly open door. She kept flitting backwards and forwards moving bags and boxes, all the while singing and dancing. I reached forward to push the door open wi
der but stopped myself. I couldn’t go in there, or I shouldn’t was more accurate; she was like watching a car crash- something you knew damn well that you shouldn’t be staring at in full gawp mode, but you couldn’t help it. You just had to watch her.

  I needed to be closer.

  Pulling myself away from her door was harder than running the twenty miles I’d just done. The only saving grace was the wall of monitors lined up in my office that I knew that at the simple push of a button, I could be watching her in HD. I all but burst the door of my office off its hinges as I pushed it wide and dived for the six wide screens mounted above my desk. Three cameras covered her bedroom, but I could hear the sound before I’d even turned any of them on. Looking around confused, I noticed the wee red light on my phone was switched on, indicating that she’d hit the intercom button at some point and not switched it off again.

  Once on, the monitors showed her continuing to dance around her room, and not in that delicate, girly sway of the hips kind of dancing. This was beyond crazy. She danced wild and free like no one was watching her – no one should be watching her. God, what am I doing? Rather than turn away, I pulled up my chair and sat down; I have to watch her.

  She was weightless and practically fluid as the beat of the music flowed through her. Her hands running through her hair, watching her lift the dark waves above her head was mesmerising.

  Her hands trailed down her neck as her body switched to a slow, graceful sway – the torturous kind that you want your dick behind and you don’t care that it will take forever to come, in fact, you would be satiated for the rest of your life by that one movement if only she’d never stop. Her hips undulated, slowly rolling from left to right.

  I watched as her hands swept over her breasts, willing her to squeeze them for me, but no, those hands just kept on moving lower and lower. Over the curve of her waist she went, down to the hem of her top, before pulling it up over her head revealing the white bra underneath. Okay… was not expecting that. With her hips still swaying to the music, she repeated the movement of her hands, sweeping from her neck to her hips; her thumbs tucking into the waistband of her shorts and tugging them down her legs. Fucking hell. I should most definitely not be watching– her white knickers landed in the pile of clothes at her feet, closely followed by her bra.

  I tried to close my eyes, I really did, but I couldn’t pull them away from her. I slammed my elbows on the desk, resting my forehead in the palms of my hands but I still couldn’t look away. Keeping my eyes pinned to the camera that pointed to her back, I told myself that this was much better than watching her from any other angle.

  Picking up a pile of black and red silk, she shimmied into the smallest shorts I’d ever seen in my life, followed by the top. What the fuck was she trying to do to me? Nothing you fucking pervert! You shouldn’t be watching her!

  Abruptly I stood, sending the chair rolling to the other side of the room. Olivia pulled back the duvet as I took a step back. Another step back and she was sitting on her bed. Another step back and I watched as she leaned over to switch off her music and lamp. Another step back and the camera switching to night vision showed her settle back onto her pillow, a small sigh escaping her mouth as she got comfy, her hair fanned out behind her over the white cotton. The last I saw of her was when she turned to her side, facing the large windows and balcony door.

  I had to pull myself away from my office into the bathroom; I still hadn’t showered from my run and that was– fuck, an hour ago.

  With the water temperature somewhere between the Arctic in winter and Pluto on a good day, I braced my hands on the shower wall hoping to any God that was listening to take away the hard-on from between my hips. I didn’t have to look down to see that I was still rock hard, I could feel the pulse pumping through it, but I did anyway. The cold water treatment was getting me nowhere but checked into hospital with hypothermia.

  On a groan, I cranked the heat up a little, there was no way I was getting any sleep while I was still giving Big Ben a run for its money. Running through Katas in my mind wasn’t helping either, nor was running through Japanese numbers to one-hundred and back. Every time I blinked I could see Olivia shimmying out of her clothes, which just made my dick throb with want for her. Grabbing hold of myself tightly, I figured if I could just stop the blood flow it would piss off and leave me alone, but no. The thump, thump, thump of my pulse continued to pound. The tight grip giving me a little of the relief that my body was desperate for. With only one thing for it, I stroked to the tip and back down slowly.

  The warm water cascading down my body gave me a false sense of where I was. Giving myself over to the fantasy of being buried deep inside Olivia, I could picture her with her hair fanned out on the pillow behind her as I pounded into her. Speeding up my wrist action, it didn’t take long for me to shoot my load onto the tile but I felt nothing of the relief that I’d expected. I felt empty and hollow, much like the act that I’d just performed. It was meaningless. Thinking about a girl that had no idea what I’d just seen, then beating off to it. I felt sick with myself – truly disgusted. Leaning my head against the wall, I watched the remnants of my pointless orgasm wash down the drain.

  ***

  Walking back through my room towards my bed, I heard a gasp followed by a very distinct ‘ah’; the kind that I was used to hearing my name follow, from a woman underneath me. The intercom was still on. Taking a step towards my office I heard it again and I was powerless to stop my feet from carrying me right back to the wall of monitors.

  Olivia’s hands had disappeared underneath the tent of the duvet which her bent knees had created. Oh God, that sound again. Cue another instant hard-on. She pushed her head back, her chin and chest reaching towards the ceiling as she arched her back. Another cry of pleasure came through the intercom and my fingers lanced through my hair in a tight hold to stop me gripping my dick again. The towel slipping from my waist brushed over the sensitive tip sending a bolt of electricity through my body. Another moan. Jesus Christ! Another!

  “Riley” My jaw fell open. Did I just hear that? No. My sex starved brain was playing tricks on me. “Oh God… Riley!” Another arch of her back, another gasp, another… FUCK! She was- no. No way. Surely she knows another Riley, right? I was trying to ignore the part of my mind that was practically begging to go to her and claim her.

  Olivia quietly giggled into the darkness, followed by her leaping from the bed to the bathroom. I left my office, pulled on a pair of jeans and immediately started pacing up and down my room. “Walk it off. Walk it the fuck off!” I told myself over and over again. My hand reached for the door handle and I told myself it was ok. I needed a drink, I was just going to get a drink. Just a drink. Just a- just a taste. Of her.

  ‘Knock, knock’ What the hell was I doing? I pinned my hands to the doorframe, holding on as tight as I could, facing the floor so that I didn’t have to look at her when she answered. I could just tell her to turn the damned phone off then leave again.

  “Riley?” ‘Oh God… Riley’ echoed through my brain. “Riley, are you ok?” No, I have this horrible need to be buried balls deep in you, right now, do you mind? Uh huh. That should do it. My hands tightened into fists, pressing my knuckles into the wood. “Riley, look at me”

  “I can’t” I spat through gritted teeth.

  “Why not? What’s wrong?” Her feet came into my view as she took a step forward.

  “If I do, I’ll end up doing something we both regret.”

  “You aren’t making any sense.” She sighed, which made my dick throb behind the buttons of my jeans.

  “You need to turn the intercom on your phone off. You must have hit it at some point because I had the pleasure of listening to your beautiful singing for an hour. I thought you’d gone to sleep. I went for a shower and just as I was coming back out I had the pleasure of hearing your… pleasure.” I could hear the rapid breaths she was taking as she listened to my words. “It’s Connor by the way.”

  “
What is?” Her weight shifted from one foot to the other, as she moved nervously. My gaze continued north, following every inch of skin and material up her body; my hard-on kicked, begging to be released.

  “My name… is Connor. Connor Riley.” Why? Why do this to myself? My name whispered off of her tongue and she smiled up at me. I was on the verge of rushing her to the floor and just taking her.

  “I’m not sure what to do.” I couldn’t think of anything but the patch of carpet that was directly behind her and what she’d look like sprawled across it. “The button. I don’t know which one I hit.” The one that glows bright fucking red! But I couldn’t say that to her.

  Stepping around her I went over to the culprit and switched it off. I now desperately wanted to leave it on, just in case. Pausing in front of her in the doorway I had to hold my fists in my pockets to keep from touching her.

  “Goodnight, Olivia.”

  “Goodnight, Riley.” She smirked up at me and I had to hold back the smile threatening to break out over my lips. I could feel her eyes on me as I walked back towards my room. Once inside I kicked the dresser beside the door, wondering exactly when it was that I became so ruled by my dick.

  SIX

  Olivia spent the morning locked away in her room, most likely avoiding me– which was just fine. Totally fine. I didn’t need a reminder of what happened last night. Oh no, it was all crystal clear, imbedded in my brain running on repeat. I didn’t sleep one bit. I spent my night going between my office, the fridge and the gym. I might have also spent a few awkward seconds in front of Olivia’s bedroom with my fist ready to knock, but I managed to keep walking.

  A door softly closing down the corridor brought my attention up from the open fridge that I’d been studying for a solid ten minutes. Olivia tiptoed down the hall as she headed to the door with her eyes glued to her phone. A wave of – something – washed over me as I wondered who she was messaging; probably her boyfriend. I stepped out in front of her, instantly regretting letting myself get so close to her again. I felt a pull towards her like magnets were in our chests pulling us together