Breaking Her

by Natalie Graham

  “Going somewhere?” I asked while trying to keep my feet from moving even closer to her.

  “Out.” Her tone was clipped as she kept looking at her phone. The noise of an annoying game filled my ears and relief surged through my veins.

  “Let me grab my jacket and I’ll be right with you.” Her head snapped up, her green gaze locking with my blue one.

  “Logan is waiting for me, you don’t need to come.” Oh I do. I so fucking do – wrong chain of thought.

  “It’s my job to escort you when you leave the apartment.” That sounded convincing, right? In truth, I didn’t give a shit about my job, I just needed to be close to her.

  “I just need to grab some things from my parents if I’m staying here. It won’t take long and like I said, Logan will be with me.” Grabbing my phone I dialled Logan’s number. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe her, I just wanted another moment to look at her, to be with her.

  “Miss Stevens informs me that you are escorting her to collect some belongings from her parent’s house, is that right?”

  “Sure is bud. She said you were busy and asked for me” Oh, did she now? “I’m downstairs, see you in a minute.” I turned, heading for the door, pulling my jacket on as I went.

  “You’re not coming.”

  “I know.” Jesus fucking Christ, didn’t I know it? “I’m just making sure you get to the car ok.”

  Thank whoever the hell built this place for sticking mirrored doors on all of the lifts. My eyes raked slowly up her body from the pale blue converse, the length of her legs and her sorry excuse for a pair of shorts. Below the tie of her shirt, the smallest patch of skin was visible that made my dick harden, again. I was sure that by the end of this job I was going to have a serious case of blue balls. With no night to myself scheduled any time soon, it looked like I was going to be getting very well acquainted with my right hand. My gaze continued up her body landing on her tits; rising and falling rapidly underneath her top, I watched as her nipples hardened. Was that for me? I hoped so.

  The lift pinging broke me out of my reverie. Following Olivia inside the suspended steel box, I don’t know what came over me as I backed her right into the corner; my hands pressing to the wall trapping her there.

  “I haven’t seen you all morning. Have you been avoiding me?” She shook her head, but the blush covering her cheeks meant that I’d hit the nail, bang on the head– she couldn’t even look me in the eye. “Last night–”

  “Won’t. Happen. Again.”

  “It won’t happen again or I won’t catch you again?” I smiled as she shook her head defiantly. I knew full well what she’d be doing when she was alone again. “Which one?”

  “The first one.”

  “Really? You won’t ever do that again? You’re telling me that after I just visually fucked you up there, you’re not dying to lock yourself away back in your bedroom and feel what I’ve done to you? You don’t want to do it over and over again?” Her cheeks glowed furiously; stroking a finger down her smooth, hot skin I gripped her chin to hold her in place while I whispered into her ear. “Because I’d really love it if you did.” A soft moan escaped her lips into my ear as a shiver rippled down her body. Oh man, walk away. Walk away.

  The lift came to a stop providing me with the exit I so desperately needed. My head turned to soup around her, nothing but little bits of her floating on the surface. I could hear her hurried footsteps trying to keep up with my long strides as we walked towards the car.

  “Have you changed your mind yet?” I asked as I opened up the door for her, to be met with another defiant shake of her head. “You will.”

  ***

  For an hour I’d thrown myself into work that needed attending to. Austin had given me the job of updating all of the security at Mason House to match that of the apartment’s tech, but mid order for some new equipment my phone started buzzing on the desk. Logan. I swiped across his annoying face to answer the call.

  “‘sup?”

  “Mate, I need you downstairs in the car park in ten.” The always unshakeable Logan sounded frantic, which meant that something bad had happened.

  “What’s wrong? Is Olivia ok?”

  “I– I don’t know.”

  “What the fuck do you mean, you don’t know?”

  “She went in to visit her boyfriend for a minute…” my hand tightened on my phone. “…the next thing I know, she’s flying out of the door at a dead run. She dived into the car, curled into a ball and she’s not lifted her head since. She’s not talking, her eyes, fucking hell her eyes man, it’s like she’s completely shut down.” The phone creaked beside my ear as I gripped it, warning me to let up on it.

  “Is she hurt?”

  “No I– I don’t think so. Look, I’ll be there soon. Be ready.” I ran from the apartment, hammering the button to call the lift; the thing wasn’t moving anywhere near as fast as I needed it to. I hit the stairs instead, taking them three at a time.

  I pulled open the door to the black GL65 before Logan had even had chance to stick it in neutral. Olivia lay curled up on her side, her expression – a hunted, blank stare.

  “Olivia? Liv, can you hear me? What the fuck happened in there?” Logan leaped from behind the wheel to open the other side of the car.

  “I’ve no fucking idea! She just ran out and has been like that since. Shall I call the boss?”

  “Fuck!” I stood back running my hands over my face while I tried to think of what to do next. “No, leave it until we get upstairs.” Logan made a move to pull Olivia from the car, but I lunged to grab her first. “Leave her, I’ve got her.” Reaching over I slipped one arm underneath her shoulder and the other behind her knees. “Olivia, I’m just going to carry you upstairs, ok?” Holding her limp body close to me, I headed towards the lift with Logan walking ahead to hit the buttons. Her head fit neatly beneath my chin; shallow breaths fanned over the collar of my shirt, ticking my neck.

  I could feel the weight of Logan’s scrutiny with every glance up at me. With a good four inches on him I glared downwards, waiting for the next time he looked up to pass his judgement, daring him with every beat in my chest. Come on, motherfucker. Say something.

  Sitting down on Olivia’s bed, with my back up against the pillows, I pulled her into my lap, tucking her head back under my chin. “Mate, do you not want to…”

  “What?” I snapped up at Logan.

  “You know… Want to maybe lay her down?” The glare that I gave him answered his question; his feet carrying him backwards towards the door. “Ok. Ok. I was only making a suggestion.”

  “I’m her PPO. I’ll decide what I do with her to make sure she’s ok, so you…” I pointed a finger at him. “…keep your suggestions to yourself, got it?”

  Logan nodded, reaching for the doorknob to close it over. “I’ll go and phone Austin.”

  “Tell him I’ve got her, we’re good.” The door softly clicked closed. “We’re good. We’re good” I chanted as I stroked down the silky soft hair, trailing down her back. Her eyes were still wide, haunted, barely blinking. “Liv? Can you hear me? What happened?” Sighing I rested my cheek to the top of her head, tightening my grip around her waist with one arm while my hand continued to glide over her dark waves. I don’t know how long I sat with her when her body finally relaxed into mine; her short, sharp breathes deepening, becoming softer on my neck as she slept.

  What the fuck did that bastard do to her? I wanted to kill him for hurting her like this. She deserved nothing but to be cared for. Because you plan on taking such good care of her, don’t you?

  With a heavy sigh I picked up my phone from the bedside table, cutting off the vibrations as I answered it.

  “Riley, how’s Liv? Logan just told me what happened. Is she ok? Do you need me home?”

  “No, no. We’re good. She’s sleeping just now.” I whispered so I didn’t disturb her. “I’m just watching over her, she was pretty shaken when they got back. I’ll call you if I need you thoug
h.”

  “Good man, thanks for looking out for her. See you later, mate.” Silence. Besides the rhythmic breaths fanning over my neck, I was left in utter silence. I wanted so desperately to be the ‘good man’ that he’d called me. So, so desperately. Olivia deserved to have someone hold her like this for the rest of her days, not some fucker like me who was set to ruin her.

  No, I wouldn’t be that man. I couldn’t. I always wanted to be the man to hold her while she slept in my arms, the man that got to run his fingers through her hair, the man that got to kiss the incredible lips that were slightly parted as she slept. I ran my thumb over the plump lower one, cupping my fingers around her cheek, holding her to me.

  I was coming to hate the sight of my phone.

  From Frank: Just heard the wee Princess is in pieces. Get a move on.

  Olivia stiffened in my arms. “Don’t find me.” She whispered. “Please, don’t find me.” A tear escaped the corner of her eye that I wiped away with the end of my tie. What was she dreaming about?

  “No one will hurt you, Olivia. I promise, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” Springing upright in my lap, she looked like a rabbit caught in the glare of headlights. “Hey… Are you ok?” Her head whipped around, confusion contorting her beautiful features. “Wanna tell me what happened?” Realisation hit her like a smack in the face, tears instantly misting her eyes, making the green sparkle so brightly in the sunlight pouring through the windows.

  “I went to see Jamie. The first thing that I noticed was off was his coffee table absolutely cluttered with beer bottles. He told me he rarely drank, but–” she sniffed, wiping at her eyes and nose with the back of her hand. “The bottles were in two places. I figured he’d had a friend over or something. That was when I spotted the heels at the bottom of the stairs. I’m not stupid, I know guys have girls as friends but–” I’ll fucking kill him for hurting her like this. A sob broke free from her tight hold on them, breaking my heart for her. Pulling her in tightly I held her as she told me about finding Jamie in bed with another girl.

  I could easily hack his security system and find out exactly what went on and show her what a dirty cheating rat he was, but that would have made it all too easy for him to worm back in if it was perfectly innocent.

  “Want me to go beat him up for you?” I could feel her shake her head underneath my chin. “You sure? I could probably twist him like a pretzel and you wouldn’t even recognise him.”

  Shaking her head again, she pulled away from me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying to you.” Feigning a smile, she wiped her face, trying to fit a mask of calm over herself. I wanted nothing more than for her to fall apart in my arms so I could pick up the pieces and put her back together again. I was the one that was supposed to be breaking her down, not some fucking prick that couldn’t keep it in his pants the moment his girl had turned her back.

  “I don’t mind. It’s my job to make sure you’re ok.”

  “It’s your job to make sure I’m safe, not that my mental stability is intact. Which right now, I’m not so sure that it is.”

  “So let’s pretend that I’ve not been hired by your uncle, let’s pretend I’m just your friend. What would you say?”

  “I’d ask if you were gay.” She deadpanned. A random burst of laughter erupted from me. Her lips quirked up at the side in a half smile. I’d keep laughing all day if only she’d keep looking at me like that. “What- where- where the hell did that come from?”

  “Because you’re too hot for girls to just be friends with.” Her top teeth clamped down on her plump, lower lip as her words sank in. Did she really just say that I’m hot? Fuck. I wanted to leap across the bed at her; it took tensing every muscle in my body to stop myself. The urge soon disappeared when she leaped up from the bed in a rush to start pacing with anger. Anger was good – it was better than crying over him, wishing she could have him back. “God, I’m so stupid! How could I have been so bloody stupid?”

  Words fell out of my mouth before I’d even had chance for my brain to filter them. “He deceived you; you can’t blame yourself for that.” I couldn’t hide my wince. That was exactly what I was doing – deceiving her.

  “I should be used to that, people have a habit of it. I just didn’t think he’d…” Ever be the one to hurt you. I could understand that more than she knew. I looked up to her – her hands were gripped into her hair ready to pull, but instead, slipped free to hang loosely by her sides. She was starting at me, with a look that screamed ‘screw it all’, ‘vengeance’ and ‘fuck me, Riley’ all in one. Hell I was down for all of those if the doorbell ringing wasn’t fighting with me for my attention. The banging that followed let me know exactly who it was and I hoped to God that Olivia would tell him to fuck off so that I could haul his arse outside.

  Quickly calling down to the desk for them to send up a couple of boys that were always patrolling the building, I headed down the hall to the door as it rattled in the frame.

  “You need to-–”

  “Olivia! Let me in. Let me see her!” Matthews tried to shove by me, but I blocked his way by holding the door and the frame. Big fucking mistake, arsehole.

  “You need to leave. Right. Now.”

  “I need to speak to her, where is she?”

  “She doesn’t want to see you.” One more shove and this cunt is getting it. “You need to get the fuck out. Now.”

  “Olivia!” He pushed at me again, earning his right cheek a high-five with the wall as I pushed his face into it. Gathering his hands tightly behind his back, I rammed my arm between his shoulder blades and my elbow pressing into his skull.

  “I’ve asked you nicely to leave, but you’ve given me no choice but to forcibly remove you.” Being polite to the motherfucker was killing me. “She doesn’t–”

  “Why are you here, Jamie?” Olivia’s shaky voice had me whip my head around to face her.

  “Baby, I just wanna talk.” Irritation flowed through me. Don’t you call her that, she’s not your baby any more. I pushed his hands further up his back earning a yelp from the pretty boy.

  “So talk.” No- no- no! Don’t let him in! “You have thirty seconds before Riley kicks you out and hands your arse to building security.” She nodded towards the door where two men stood waiting.

  After Olivia had heard enough of him falling over his words I took immense pleasure in throwing the fucker out into the hall to the waiting security. I found Olivia back in her room curled up in a ball so tight that her body was visibly shaking from the effort of trying to hold herself together.

  “He’s gone. Are you ok?” She took a second to answer. Dumb fucking question, you idiot! Taking a deep breath she managed to free herself from her coil to sit up.

  “Yeah. I just– I want to be alone.”

  I couldn’t blame her for that. She’d had more than enough head-fucks in the last couple of days to last her a lifetime. With even more to come. “Let me know if you need anything, ok?”

  I pulled the tie from my neck, ripping my shirt open and scattering buttons across my bedroom floor. I needed to hit something. Hard. The only thing offering me the release that I needed was the punch bag hanging from the gym’s ceiling. I bypassed my gloves as I pulled on my shorts and trainers. The pain coursing through my hands and Hollywood Undead blasting through my headphones would ground me enough to get my head back in the game.

  I bounced a few times on the balls of my feet, stretching out my neck. Jab, right cross, jab. I stretched my neck out again. Jab, left cross, jab, right cross, jab. Jamie’s face appeared before my eyes, right in the centre of the swinging bag. Jab, cross, hook, repeat. Him kissing Olivia. Jab, cross, hook, uppercut, jab, repeat. Him touching her. Repeat, faster, repeat.

  Panting and sweating, I stopped the swing of the bag, gripping onto its sides and pushing my forehead against the leather. What would it take for me to get my head straight? She’s not yours. She’ll never be yours.

  ***

  After I’d showered and dress
ed again I decided that I’d better check on Olivia, except she wasn’t in her room. She wasn’t anywhere. I frantically phoned Logan to see if he’d been called to collect her again – negative. The front desk hadn’t seen her either so that meant she couldn’t have left the building.

  Pulling up the security feed from her room, I followed her movements through the building down to the basement pool. There she was, swimming – alone, thank fuck. What was she thinking? I was supposed to know where she was at all times. She didn’t even bother to come and find me or leave me a God damned note!

  I burst through the double doors leading into the pool, but she didn’t notice. She also didn’t notice as I paced up and down the side of the pool waiting for her to stop at the end. She didn’t. Powering on through turns she swam length after length.

  Settling in to watch her for the long haul, I sat myself down on the lounger where she’d dumped her clothes, trying desperately to calm my temper. That didn’t happen until I watched her rise from the water, slumping over on the cold, hard tiles, panting for breath. Her chest heaved beneath the barely there black material that she’d probably call a bikini. Couldn’t she wear something a little more… more? Her arms laid limp, covering her eyes, her legs flopped to the side as she continued to gasp for air, the apex wide open for m– anyone.

  “How long have you been here?” She asked when she had recovered enough to stand again. Was it possible for someone’s tongue to swell just from looking at another person? I couldn’t speak, my throat felt tight as she walked towards me twisting her hair into a thick rope; water dripping from the ends to the floor. “Can I have my things?” Her jaw flexed in irritation as I continued giving her the silent treatment. “So you’re not talking? Awesome.” I didn’t miss the sarcasm laced through her voice.