Diary of a Young Girl

by Mark Anthony

  Cool. I was ready to take those L’s on the chin and keep it moving. I learned from what I did wrong and I was determined to do me and be me at all costs even if my father wanted to disown me!

  Fuck him, I thought.

  I was ready to move to Queens and do me.

  Chapter Nine

  The Power of the Pussy

  It was now 1987 and I had been at my aunt’s house for a minute. My aunt lived in a nice middle-class section of Queens that is known as Rosedale. Rosedale, which is a predominately black neighborhood, had many two-family houses where one family would live on the first floor of the house and another family would live on the second floor. Each floor had its own entrance and its own bathrooms, bedrooms, kitchen, living rooms, and dining rooms, so there was more than enough space for each family.

  With the size of my aunt’s new blended family, what her and her husband Pete decided to do was purchase a two-family house they converted that to function as a one-family house. It was smart the way they did it because this way it was spacious and with all of the people in the house it never really felt overcrowded or cramped. In fact, there were six bedrooms in total and with my oldest male cousin, Earl sleeping in the comfortable finished basement, everybody had their own bedroom.

  Well, in the beginning of my stay at Aunt Tanisha’s everything was cool. For the most part things continued to be cool but the newness of my presence and the novelty of me moving in with my cousins was just about wearing off. That was especially so for my female cousin Leah, who I was forced to share a room with.

  Leah was a year older than me and she was a sophomore at Jamaica High School. Based on our age we had a lot in common and in the beginning we clicked. Leah liked boys and she liked many of the same things that I liked. She wasn’t nearly as fast and as wild as I was but I couldn’t fault her for that.

  Being that Leah and I had to share her full-sized bed and share her room in general, I guess she started to feel that I was invading her space and cramping her style somewhat. It soon got to the point where her whole vibe and demeanor became cold and distant when it came to her interacting and dealing with me.

  It was wild because you would have thought she had a split personality or something. One day we were cool and she was talking to me and letting me wear some of her clothes and then it was like out of nowhere she was barely speaking to me. She stopped letting me wear her clothes and then all she started to do was complain to both me and her mom about how Shayla sleeps so wild, Shayla won’t make up the bed, Shayla keeps my room messy, Shayla is always on the phone, and on and on. It just wouldn’t stop.

  But I was cool about it and I was also smart about it. Not once did I ever get confrontational with her. I just sucked it up, dealt with it. I always apologized to her and my aunt and promised to do better at whatever her issue was with me.

  In my mind I was starting to see a pattern—or at least I thought it was a pattern—and that was that people would always find a way to abandon me or become distant toward me. I could never understand it. Now Leah was becoming distant toward me and abandoning me. Before her it was my pops. Before that it was Joyce, and before Joyce it was my mom who had abandoned me. Sandwiched in between all of those people, BK had also distanced himself from me and abandoned me. But with BK it was more like he had dissed me big-time.

  In fact, after that day in which he had fucked me in my basement, he literally never spoke to me again. If I would see him somewhere in the street or at the mall or wherever, he wouldn’t even acknowledge me except for telling me things like “bitch get the fuck outta my face.” Real insulting shit like that. It was like he had hit it and quit it. To me that probably hurt just as bad as my mom leaving me because I really thought that me and BK could bond and be cool even if it was on just a sexual level. I guess I was wrong and I realized that it must have been something about me that turned people off.

  Back to my cousin Leah, she was at that point where she was turned off by my presence. Believe me, the last thing I wanted to do was be around somebody that didn’t want to be around me.

  Maybe God was looking out for me or something because just as Leah and I started to go south with our relationship, my relationship with my cousin Earl started to click. Earl was nineteen years old and he was enrolled at a local college called York College. I don’t know if it’s because males click better with females or what but I soon found myself constantly in Earl’s presence.

  In fact, Earl’s basement apartment-like setup soon became my new oasis. I started spending most of my time down in the basement just kicking it with him and his friends, playing video games, watching movies, or just bugging out.

  Even though I was young and inexperienced in a lot of aspects of life, there was something that I knew I had a natural gift for and that was when it came to picking up the type of vibe that a person was giving off or trying to send out. Like with me, for example, I always gave off this loose, free-spirited vibe. I guess you could call it a whore vibe. Being that I gave off that vibe I almost always recognized that vibe when others would be giving it off as well.

  Well, with Earl he definitely gave off a whore vibe as if sex was always on his mind, as if he would be down for whatever, whenever, and wherever.

  One day, right around the start of the spring in 1987, Earl, myself, and two of his homeboys from York College were in the basement watching a tape of Eddie Murphy’s Delirious. While we were watching the tape I noticed that Earl, who was sitting next to me on the sofasofa, kept putting his hand on my thigh and moving it as if he were massaging it. He wasn’t moving it toward my crotch; he would move his hand toward my knee area. He was doing it really subtle, which to me is what made it seem sensual and which is also why it was turning me on.

  He did this throughout the movie but I didn’t say anything and I didn’t ask him to move his hand. I simply went along with what he was doing because I needed to confirm the vibes that he had been sending off to me. This was the best kind of confirmation that I could get.

  My plan wasn’t to stay quiet for too long, though, and when there was about fifteen minutes or so left of Eddie Murphy’s performance I nonchalantly titled my head back toward Earl’s head, which he had reclining on the headrest of the sofa. I whispered in his ear very quiet and discretely, “you better be careful touching me like that.”

  After I said that I smiled slightly and then just kept watching the tape. I could tell that Earl looked at me but he didn’t say anything. When he didn’t move his hand from my leg I could tell he had caught on to what I had said in the manner in which I wanted him to catch on.

  It was a Friday night, around 8:30 or 9:00 P.M., so after the movie ended, Earl and his friends were trying to figure out just what they were gonna get into for the night. As they sat around discussing their options, one of Earl’s friends opened up a bottle of Bacardi that he had.

  “Nigga, you was sitting here all that time with that shit and you ain’t tell nobody!” Earl said to his friend Rory.

  “Cheap-ass nigga! Give me that shit.”

  Earl took the bottle and cracked it open. He went to his refrigerator and took out two cans of Pepsi. He poured some Pepsi and Bacardi into four glasses, one for each of us, and he put some ice cubes inside each of the drinks.

  I was somewhat apprehensive about drinking because of my experience with beer and its bad taste, but I didn’t want to seem like I wasn’t down and then have that be the reason for Earl abandoning me and becoming distant with me. I couldn’t risk that so I drank the Bacardi and Pepsi. To my complete shock, it actually tasted good! I mean, it was like all I tasted was the soda.

  Thinking that Earl probably didn’t pour that much liquor in my glass because he was testing me or something, I quickly downed my drink and asked Earl for some more.

  “Goddamn, shorty! You throwing them shits back like a quarterback,” Rory blurted out.

  Earl didn’t say anything as he complied with my request and poured me another drink.

  “E
arl, you trying to get your cousin fucked-up or what?” his other friend asked.

  “Nah, she a big girl, she can handle it,” Earl said to me as he looked at me. I knew exactly what he was insinuating.

  “Yeah, I can handle it,” I replied with a smile and I gulped down some more of my drink. Once again as I drank I noticed that all I could taste was soda. I loved the fact that I didn’t taste that nasty-ass, bitter taste that beer left me with.

  In no time I was buzzing from the liquor and feeling nice as hell and I became extra talkative.

  “So y’all just gonna go out and get into something without me?” I asked.

  Earl and his three friends looked at each other and they smiled.

  “Oh, okay, y’all dissing me! That’s cool,” I replied and I was feeling so good that I just went and turned on the radio, tuning the dial to Mr. Magic’s rap attack radio show.

  “Nah, it ain’t that. It’s just that you ain’t ready to hang out where we hang out,” Rory replied.

  I was now buzzing like crazy from the liquor and I started dancing to one of the Biz Markie songs that was playing. I think it was the song “Nobody Beats the Biz.”

  As I danced I unbuttoned three of the buttons on my blouse and revealed some of my cleavage.

  “I might be young but I got the body to get me over,” I replied as I kept on dancing.

  “Yo, she is fucked-up!” Rory replied. “Don’t give her ass no more liquor.”

  Earl, Rory, and their friend all started laughing as I walked up to Rory and started grinding my ass on his crotch.

  “You think I’m fucked-up?” I asked him with a smile. “Let me hang out with y’all tonight and I’ll prove you wrong.”

  Rory didn’t dance with me; he just smiled and nodded his head to the music but I knew that I was making a good impression on all of them.

  Then Earl spoke up and said that he was just gonna chill in the crib for a minute to make sure that I didn’t throw up or do anything crazy to alert my aunt that I had been drinking. He told Rory and his other buddy to head to Rory’s house and that he would call over there in a few minutes to hook up with them later.

  “Shayla, take it easy.”

  “Yeah, it was nice meeting you,” Rory and his other friend said to me as they made it out of the basement and went about their way.

  I had never been drunk before but I also knew that I had never felt the way I was feeling at that particular time so I assumed that I was drunk.

  “Shayla, you one crazy girl,” Earl said to me as he put the dirty glasses in the kitchen sink.

  There was this funny part in the Delirious tape that we had just been watching where Eddie Murphy is imitating Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton from the TV show The Honeymooners. In Ralph Kramden’s voice Eddie Murphy imitates Ralph saying to Norton, “Hey Norton, hey Norton, how would YOU like to fuck ME up the ass?”

  Something clicked in my head and I just started laughing uncontrollably when I thought about that part of the tape. I was also laughing because of the liquor. I was laughing so hard that I could barely speak as I imitated Eddie Murphy talking like he was Ralph Kramden. I repeated the joke and I fell out on to the sofa in laughter.

  “Yo, Shayla, you are tore-up for real,” Earl said.

  “No, I’m not. I’m good, I’m good.”

  “You gotta maintain when you go back upstairs. I don’t want Tanisha cursing my ass out,” Earl remarked.

  I paid his remark no mind because I felt giddy and drunk but I also felt fine at the same time.

  “Hey Earl,” I shouted out with a grin on my face, trying to hold back my laughter.

  “What’s up?” he asked.

  “How would YOU like to fuck ME?” I said in a tone that mocked Ralph Kramden’s voice while pointing my index finger at Earl and then pointing it back at myself. After I’d said that I burst out into laughter.

  Earl began cheesing from ear to ear. He shook his head and said, “Yo, Shayla, you are really bugging right now!”

  Although I was drunk, I remembered to keep my golden rule about still being buck wild but just being smart about it. The liquor combined with Earl’s vibe had my ass horny as shit but I knew I had to be smart.

  I wanted Earl to know that I wasn’t bugging and that I was serious. So I walked right up to him and stood on my tippy-toes and started tongue kissing him. Sure enough, just as I had suspected, Earl went with the flow. In fact, he started kissing me back. He was kissing me hard and passionate as hell like he had been storing the kiss up inside of him.

  The next thing I knew my tits were exposed and Earl was sucking on my nipples.

  “Come in here,” I said as I grabbed Earl by the hand and led him into his own bedroom, which was just a few feet away from where we had been standing. Keeping to my rule of being smart, I made sure that he had a lock on his door and that it was locked.

  With the door to his bedroom locked I felt more at ease and I quickly disrobed. Earl didn’t speak a word to me and he also started taking his clothes off. His dick was hard enough to cut diamonds.

  “You happy to see me?” I asked as I resumed kissing him.

  “I wanted to fuck you since you got here,” Earl said to me as he pulled away from me. He pushed me back onto his bed and started eating me out.

  “Why didn’t you?” I asked as I simultaneously moaned from the pleasure of his tongue.

  “Because you my cousin,” he said as he came up for air.

  His tongue was feeling too damn good so I decided to shut the hell up so that he wouldn’t stop sucking on my clit.

  As Earl sucked and licked my clit I realized that on paper we were cousins but technically we weren’t cousins because he wasn’t Aunt Tanisha’s biological child. Truthfully though, even if he was Aunt Tanisha’s biological child I would have still wanted him and we would have just been kissing cousins for real.

  I grabbed onto Earl’s head and I squeezed it as hard as I could because I was cumming. I couldn’t believe how fast that I came but I guess it was from the alcohol or something. I don’t know but I was cumming and it felt good as shit.

  “Was that shit good?” Earl asked me.

  “Em-hmmhh,” I replied as chills ran down my body.

  Earl flipped me over onto my stomach. He entered me from the back and began stroking away. I was as wet as a river and his dick felt so good inside of me that in a matter of like twenty strokes I was hollering into his pillow and cumming for the second time.

  My pussy must have felt good to Earl because right after I came he pulled out of me and he came all over his bedsheets before plopping his body down on the bed next to mine.

  We both then laid there on the bed breathing really heavy and not saying anything to each other. From out of nowhere the thought of how BK had played me and stopped speaking to me after we’d had sex entered my mind.

  That fear was quickly dispelled as Earl became the first guy to hug me or kiss me after sexing me.

  We cuddled butt naked on his bed and he told me that he was happy that I’d come to live with them.

  “Really?” I asked

  “Word.”

  “I’m glad I came too,” I said. Then I laughed as I realized the play on words with the double reference to the word came.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked.

  “Inside joke,” I replied.

  Earl and I stayed there in each other’s arms for about ten more minutes. I knew that I was pressing my luck in terms of possibly getting caught, so I got up and started to get dressed.

  “What’s up with round two?” Earl asked as I slipped on my panties.

  “Round two?” I said with a smile.

  Earl just looked at me.

  “Tomorrow,” I said. Even though I wanted to get it on and poppin’ again right then and there I remembered my rule.

  “A’ight, just make sure you keep your promise,” Earl said as he got up from the bed.

  We soon were both dressed and ready to open the door and leave Earl’s
room. Although the buzz from the liquor was fading, I was still feeling like I was floating on cloud nine and on top of the world. It was at that moment that I remembered the unspoken lessons that I had learned from Joyce, especially when it came to getting money for sex without even asking for it. What it taught me was that there was this inherent power when it came to sex, especially taboo sex. Although I didn’t want any money from Earl he had something else that I wanted and I knew that right then was as good a time as any to make my move.

  “Earl, is this a sofa bed?”

  Earl looked at me and replied that it was.

  Being straight up, I told him what I was sensing from Leah. I asked him would he mind if I asked Aunt Tanisha to let me move into the basement with him and sleep on the sofa bed as my permanent bed.

  Earl paused and thought about it.

  “We could have as many rounds as we want to if I was sleeping down here,” I said to Earl with my puppy-dog eyes while making sure that I was mustering up the softest voice that I could.

  Just like Joyce would give me the money and the McDonald’s back in the day to keep my mouth shut, I knew that in the back of Earl’s mind he would also want me to keep my mouth shut, so I had a good feeling that he would go along with my plan.

  “Yo, I’ll be with it but we just have to agree on some shit first,” Earl said.

  “Okay, like what?”

  “You can’t be running your mouth about the shit that I do. Like I smoke weed, and I don’t want that shit getting back to nobody. Or if I have a shorty down here, I don’t want you being rude and shit. You know what I’m saying.”

  I knew exactly where Earl was coming from and he didn’t have to worry about me dropping a dime on his ass because if there was one thing I wasn’t, it was a snitch.

  “Earl, if there is one thing you don’t have to worry about with me it’s me being a snitch or pissing you off over something silly. Snitches get stitches is what they say back in Brooklyn.”