Accidental Arrangements

by Alexandra Warren

  Jules,

  I couldn’t remember which ones were your favorites, but I promise I was always paying attention. And even if I managed to drop the ball, I’m so proud you didn’t do the same. Congratulations on finally getting that script, pretty girl. No one deserves it more than you. Because you deserve the world. Just make sure you let me screen the nigga who gets the opportunity to give it to you first. Ex-best friend privileges.

  - Love, The Basketball Asswipe who couldn’t see how good he had it.

  PS: We’re still volunteering for the holidays. BeBe’s Kids need toys.

  I laughed quietly as I swiped at the tears, thinking back to the time I had drunk-cried over Bebe’s Kids in the first place. When Levi and I had really taken the time out to get to know each other, and ended up falling in love. Because that was the only reason this all hurt so bad; I loved him. We just… couldn’t figure it out in time to really do something about it. Couldn’t possibly draw a conclusion we were both unconsciously trying to avoid no matter how much it had already taken over.

  Sure, Levi hadn’t been bright about handling Layna. And sure, he still might’ve been a little more self-absorbed than I would’ve liked. But he wasn’t a bad person. In fact, he was a pretty amazing individual, one I could count on for just about anything - from tampons to gas money - even now that he was states away.

  But that was the thing. He wasn’t just on the other side of the apartment anymore. He was a good five hours by car, hour and a half by flight away which meant no matter how much my anger had subsided, the damage was already done. Levi was going on about his life, doing what he loved, and I was supposed to be doing the same.

  Still, while my actions followed that protocol, my mind couldn’t help but wonder what if. Wonder if maybe it was possible to… start over, start fresh, with our new circumstances.

  “Girl, you’re trippin…” I thought to myself as I abandoned the flowers in the kitchen and headed to the living room, hoping to find something distracting to watch on TV. But when I turned it on, the only thing I saw was Levi smiling as the correspondent interviewed him after what had to be his first game - first win - with his new team.

  “Twenty-five points in only fifteen minutes of playing time is almost unheard of. What message were you trying to send to the coaches along with the rest of the league?”

  “I just wanted to come out here and do what I love. Whatever the coaches pull from that, I’ll gladly accept. I’m just happy to have the opportunity to be back on the court.”

  “Well it’s obvious the game missed you, though we were all a little surprised that Phoenix took a chance on you considering your checkered past. What do you think convinced them to go out on a limb and sign you to a 10-day contract?”

  “At the end of the day, we both want the same thing and that’s to win ball games. Sometimes all it takes is a chance. A second chance, that is. And I definitely learned my lesson the hard way. When you love something as much as I love… this game, you have to take good care of it. I will no longer take this opportunity, or any opportunity, for granted. That’s for sure.”

  “Final question, what number are you going to negotiate for now that you have a little leverage after your performance tonight?”

  “That’s up to my agent and the front office. I’m just here to play ball.”

  I paused the TV just as Levi gave the interviewer another one of his signature full smiles, making me smile as I thought about how far he had come. When I first met him, he was down on his luck, broke, not to mention completely misunderstood. But this Levi, the Levi on screen, had come into his own. He was happy, secure in himself and proud of his work without requiring the validation of others. It wasn’t about the money, or the fame, or the glory, it was about doing what he loved to do.

  And I was beyond proud of that.

  Before I could change my mind, I snagged my phone from the coffee table, scrolling through my contacts until I landed on his name that I thankfully hadn’t deleted. My finger hovered over the screen as I processed everything that could go wrong in calling. But once I peeked up at the screen - peeked up at Levi - I realized it wasn’t likely that he’d actually answer which meant I could leave a message without really having to talk to him.

  As the phone rang in my ear, my heart raced as I thought about what I would do if he really were to answer. And I was grateful when I had actually survived long enough to get his voicemail, though I wasn’t exactly sure what I was going to say once I got the beep signaling it was my turn.

  “Uh… hey. It’s Jules. I… I didn’t really want anything in particular. Just wanted to tell you thank you for the flowers. And congratulations on the game. I didn’t watch it, but I caught your interview and you… you looked great. I’m so happy for you. And I’m… rambling now, so I’m gonna… oh God. It’s you,” I muttered as my phone chimed with an incoming call on the other line.

  And I tried to stay calm as I clicked over to say, “Hello?”

  Levi sounded completely energized, as if it was normal for me to be calling when he replied, “Hey pretty girl. Sorry I missed your call. I was doing my postgame press conference. Forgot how hectic this shit was.”

  “I bet. I, uh… I left you a message, but I guess I can repeat my thank you. For the flowers. And the note,” I told him as I peeked back towards the kitchen where the flowers were still sitting.

  “You know I got you, Jules. So damn proud of you. Everything been going well with that?” he asked, his background filled with what I could assume was a mix of locker room banter and sports reporters.

  And I nodded as if he could see me when I answered, “Yeah. Everything is good. Busy. But good.”

  “That’s what’s up.”

  There was an awkward silence between us as Levi’s background went quiet, like he had switched rooms for the purpose of being able to hear me better; to prolong the conversation. But no matter how good it felt to talk to him, to hear his voice, I couldn’t help myself in attempting a grand escape by telling him, “Well I’ll… get out of your hair. Just wanted to say thanks. And congratulations on the game. Glad you’re making good on that second chance.”

  “Glad I have one to make good on. Seems to work well for me,” he replied, his voice holding an extra hint of sweetness as if he was trying to make a point.

  “Uh… right. Oh, and you can delete the message I left. It’s not important anymore.”

  “Which means I’ll listen to it a few times over and then save it just in case I never get one of these phone calls again,” he added with a little chuckle before stopping my heart when he continued, “I… I miss you, Jules. And you don’t have to say it back or anything. I just wanted to get it off of my chest while I had your ear.”

  I wanted to say it back. Saying it back would’ve been admitting the truth. But saying it back also meant being sucked back into Levi’s aura which was the last thing I was prepared to handle. So instead I told him, “I’m glad you’re doing well, Levi.”

  “Damn, lettin’ me down easy, huh?” he asked with another laugh, quickly adding, “I’m just messing with you. But hey, maybe you can come check out one of my games. We’ll be in your neck of the woods for the start of our three game road trip.”

  I gnawed at my lip as I took another peek at the TV screen, imagining the hopeful gaze on Levi’s face as he waited for an answer. But I had to be completely honest when I replied, “I don’t know if that’s really a good idea, Levi.”

  Seeing him in person meant being reminded of the good times, the good feelings, the good… everything. But it felt like I had already lost the fight once Levi begged, “Aww come on. It’s just a basketball game. And if it makes you feel better, Lily and the kids will be there too.”

  “I… okay.”

  “Okay?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll come. When is the game?”

  “Day after tomorrow.”

  “Oh wow. That’s soon,” I replied, processing how much I would have to get done in such a smal
l amount of time. I mean, it wasn’t nearly long enough to prepare myself emotionally, get a mani and pedi, let alone get my weave tightened up.

  “Is that a problem? You already have plans? Too busy for an old friend?”

  I closed my eyes, shaking my head as I answered, “Nah, it’s not a problem. I’ll be there.”

  “Bet. I’ll leave you two tickets at Will Call just in case you have a new friend you want to bring.”

  I smacked my teeth instantly, knowing he was offering just to hear me reply, “I don’t move that fast, Levi.”

  And he even had the nerve to give me another one of his little chuckles before he said, “I’m glad to hear it, pretty girl. Looking forward to seeing you.”

  “And I’m looking forward to seeing you get dunked on by the home team,” I teased, peeking up at the screen once again and imagining Levi having the same smiling reaction to my words in person.

  “Ahh, you got jokes, huh?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe a couple.”

  “Well maybe we can… I don’t know. Do dinner or something. After the game?”

  Internally, I swooned. But outwardly, I knew it was in my best interest to pump the breaks when I answered, “Now you’re pushing it.”

  “Can’t blame a nigga for trying though,” he offered, far from defeated as I originally expected him to be. But then again, this was Levi. He was the king of working harder, pushing through, finding a way; something I honestly admired about him especially now that it had all truly paid off.

  So I couldn’t help but smile when I replied, “You’re right. I can’t. You’ve always had a way of getting things to go in your favor.”

  “Well it sounds like I need to brush up on my skills.”

  I rolled my eyes, still grinning as I suggested, “You worry about basketball, and I’ll see you in a couple of days.”

  “Can’t wait, pretty girl,” he said before he ended the call. And while I wanted to sit there basking in aura of light created from a simple conversation, I knew I had more important things to do.

  Like finding something to wear.

  &

  I was nervous.

  The game was tied, and Levi’s team - Levi - had the ball as the clock ticked down to the last few seconds. It had been a tight one all game, the two teams trading the lead back and forth up until now where things were all even. But it was now or never as Levi took off towards the rim, stopping just short of the free throw line to take the final shot just as the buzzer went off.

  All net.

  Even though it was an away game, the crowd still went nuts in excitement as Levi’s team rushed to celebrate with him on the court. And I didn’t really have a choice but to join in the fun once Lily, who was also holding Anastasia, pulled me into a hug and screamed, “That’s my brother!” While Andre and Adrian did their own little celebration below us.

  I watched intently as the courtside reporter slipped through the crowd of players to pull Levi to the side for a quick postgame interview, completely enthralled as he gave a few short answers before the reporter sent him on his way. But he didn’t get too far once he heard the twins screaming, “Uncle Levi! Uncle Levi!”

  He turned our way with a smile, pulling the headband from his head and tossing it to the boys which they immediately began to fight over. Then he looked at me, and his smile seemed to grow even larger as he gave a little wink just as his coach wrapped an arm around his shoulder to escort him towards the locker room, though Levi was sure to shake a few hands and sign a few autographs along the way.

  I tried to keep calm, act like I had imagined the whole thing until I heard Lily ask, “You know ya’ll aren’t slick, right?”

  “I can’t say I know what you’re talking about,” I replied, avoiding her eyes as I grabbed the bucket of popcorn I had been snacking on throughout the game, planning to throw it away on my way out.

  But Lily wasn’t letting me off that easy as she adjusted Anastasia on her hip before she said, “Jules, I saw the wink. I saw the way he looked at you. And I damn sure saw the way you looked at him.”

  I shrugged, adjusting the denim jacket I wore over my dress as I explained, “I’m happy for him. They won the game. He hit the gamewinner. He…”

  “Is just as in love with you as you are with him. And I wish you guys would stop making it so damn complicated.”

  I released a heavy sigh, thinking about what kind of conversations Levi could’ve possibly had with his sister for her to have drawn such a conclusion. But regardless of its truth, fact of the matter was, “Lily, it’s really not that simple. A lot has happened. A lot that can’t be forgotten.”

  “So you decked Layna in the face. She’s clearly moved on from that,” she replied with a nod, forcing me to turn around to find Layna leaving the arena with the rest of the crowd, holding hands with her latest victim. And while I wanted to be annoyed, wanted to tell homeboy to steer clear, I couldn’t say anything as Lily continued, “Now I know my brother isn’t perfect. He’s proven that on a national scale, on a national level. But you and I both know he’s worth the trouble. He’s a good person, Jules. And he really cares about you.”

  Again, I knew she was telling the truth. While Levi had always made it clear that he cared about himself and his career - as he should -, he had also done plenty to prove that I was just as important to him. Even now when he was so focused on solidifying his spot on the team, he made sure to take a little time out to show me love by sending flowers.

  Still, I found myself making excuses like, “It’s too late, Lily. He’s in a different city now, and...”

  She grabbed my shoulder, cutting me off to say, “You’re here. You showed up. So that has to mean something, right?”

  I shrugged, gnawing at my lip as I told her, “He asked and I didn’t have anything in particular to do.”

  The little chuckle she let out in response reminded me of her brother’s. “Girl, you’re even more stubborn than I thought.”

  “So what am I supposed to do, Lily? Just… start over, act like none of it ever happened, be in a long distance relationship with the person I couldn’t even be in a relationship with when he stayed right across the living room from me?”

  It sounded even more foolish now that I had said it out loud, not to mention the fact that I was asking his sister of all people. And I was hardly surprised when she suggested, “When you want something, you make it work. You figure it out.”

  “Jesus Christ, was that written on the refrigerator when you guys were growing up or what?”

  Again, Lily gave that oh-so-familiar chuckle. “The Grahams are a persistent bunch. Now come on so we can catch Levi after his postgame press conference.”

  I tensed up instantly. “What? That wasn’t in the plans. I was just going to… go home. Maybe shoot him a text later.”

  Lily grabbed my hand with her free one, already making her way out of the seats we had watched the game from when she replied, “He wants to see you. And I know you want to see him.”

  My steps were a lot slower than hers, forcing her to practically drag me down the aisle when I whined, “But I don’t even know what to say.”

  She stopped to turn my way just as she hit the stairs, giving me a genuine smile when she insisted, “Just tell him how you feel, Jules. Trust me, he’s itching to do the same.” Then she peeked past me, locking eyes with the twins to tell them, “Adrian and Andre stay close. Matter of fact, hold Jules’s hand.”

  My eyes went wide as I felt a sticky hand slip into mine before being yanked away just as quickly. “I wanna hold that hand!” one of the boys shouted as he slid his equally sticky hand into mine.

  And while I was already grossed out by the mystery adhesive, I knew the only way we could solve the problem was if I reminded them, “Uh… I have two hands, boys.”

  I stepped out of the row to let Adrian get in front of me so that he could take the hand his mother had originally been guiding me with. And with Andre on my other side, it felt like I had person
al escorts as we made our way onto the court to wait for Levi which brought on a new bout of nerves.

  I tried to distract myself with just about anything; the size of the now mostly-emptied arena from court view, the distance between the baskets, the two boys arguing at my sides, and… oh snap, who is that?

  I didn’t want to make my snooping obvious, but there was no ignoring the way Lily looked completely enamored with whoever the guy she was talking to. And I certainly couldn’t blame her cause he was fine as hell, his suit perfectly tailored to his frame and paired with designer shoes I couldn’t place a brand on from the distance.

  But they were definitely designer.

  I watched closely as he pinched Anastasia’s cheek, obviously familiar with her considering the way she immediately giggled in response. And then he looked at her mother - I mean, he looked at her mother - giving her all types of panty-wetting mannerisms as he brushed his thumb against her cheek before leaning in for a kiss.

  Until he wasn’t.

  And I didn’t understand what had happened until I saw Levi emerge from the tunnel, freshly showered with a bag over his shoulder and headphones draped around his neck as he approached the pair that now looked completely frazzled; completely disconnected. He shook hands with the guy, exchanging a few words before turning his attention to Lily to give her and Anastasia a hug. And then his eyes were on me, and it felt like I stopped breathing for a second as he excused himself to head my way.

  Well… head our way considering he also had two anxious nephews to greet. And they could hardly contain themselves as they let my hand go to dash his way, screaming, “Uncle Levi!”

  He pulled them both into a hug, scrubbing their heads before telling them to go wait with their mom. And then it was back to me as I balanced on my heels, trying not to melt under his heavy gaze. The closer he got, the weaker I felt as I became immersed in his scent, a scent I had missed like crazy since he moved out, especially now that it was beginning to rub off of his t-shirts that I still slept in.