The Fear of Surrender

by Morticia Knight

  “Since you are so new to this, I’ll still be asking you questions about what you’re willing to do for a while until I can read your body better. Then I’ll be pushing you, helping you to achieve surrender.”

  Linus knelt on the thick rug in the same room he’d been in before with Thomas. They’d been much too anxious to be alone once they’d arrived at Hampton Road, so had begged off going to the hot-wax demonstration. Thomas had whispered to him that perhaps they could try it sometime instead of merely watching it. The tickle of Thomas’ hot breath against his ear had caused him to sigh, leaning in to Thomas’ touch.

  Not sure if Thomas wanted him to be hard or not when he entered the room, Linus tried to think of something less arousing. Before he could stop himself, Preston came to mind. He trembled, the fear threatening to take over and potentially ruining what he wanted to share with Thomas. Steering his thoughts to Kenneth and Saul together in their newfound happiness instantly soothed him.

  Certain that he was in the proper position, he endeavored to remain as still and obedient as possible. He was naked with his hands clasped behind his back, his gaze fixed on a red teardrop shaped design in the carpet directly below him. He’d been instructed by Thomas to get in position before he’d returned and to address him as ‘Sir’ whenever they were at the club or working together at home.

  There had been a brief moment of panic at the orders that Thomas had noticed immediately. Thomas had grasped his chin, reminded him that he could call mercy at any time and told him that he loved him. It had been easy after that.

  The door quietly opened and he focused even harder on the design. It was so important to him that he make Thomas proud, that he please him. The temptation to look up so that he could see his beautiful lover was incredibly hard to resist. When he’d been at the club with Thomas before, it hadn’t been an issue. He’d been much too shy to do such a thing. It had been no problem to keep his gaze lowered.

  He started at the gentle caress on his head.

  “Shh. Only me.” Thomas petted him. “Such a good boy.”

  He was mortified that his shaft had begun lengthening, and he knew that red must be staining his cheeks. There was a moment where he almost glanced up when Thomas stood directly in front of him.

  “I’m delighted that you’re cock is hardening for me. Whenever we’re in here or in my home, I want it to respond to my voice. You’re mine, boy. All of you.” Thomas brushed a finger across the collar around Linus’ neck. “When you wear this, I’m in control. Is that clear?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “And because I’m in control, I also control when you spend. Is that also clear?”

  Oh dear.

  “Yes. Um, yes, Sir.”

  Thomas stroked his head again. “Good boy.”

  Linus noted that Thomas had moved away. He detected him near the lounge chair where he’d set the satchel he’d brought. Linus had been very good by not asking Thomas about the contents of the bag, but Thomas had obviously seen his interest. He’d shared with him that it held his own personal items that he preferred to use in addition to the ones provided by the club.

  “Stand, please.”

  He rose to his feet, as gracefully as he could manage with his hands still held behind his back. It was one of the things that had almost given him away when he’d been with Thomas before. If he hadn’t been to the demonstration with Ned and seen the other boys kneeling then rising for their Masters, he would have likely scrambled to his feet. In hindsight, he wished he would have been discovered. It might have saved him a lot of grief.

  “Step forward. That’s far enough.” Thomas changed the position of his shoulders then pressed a hand against his lower back. “Good. Hold that position, remain straight.” Thomas’ warm palm encircled his steeled erection. “Love this, boy. Love you.”

  Linus shuddered, his balls tightening.

  “Mmm.” Thomas reached down with his other hand then grasped his nut sac, his grip firm. “We can’t have that. Not yet.” He squeezed stronger, almost to the point of pain. Linus whimpered. “Breathe, boy. Give it to me.”

  He inhaled then let the air out, repeating the action several times. His focus drifted to the two hands wrapped around his genitals. The sensation was similar to what he experienced when Thomas covered him with his body as they fucked. He was safe. In Thomas’ care. Peace enveloped him and Thomas’ whispered words of approval drifted into his consciousness.

  His surroundings sharpened as soon as Thomas let him go. He immediately missed his touch, missed the restriction of his dick and balls. A wild thought passed through his mind that his body was in danger without it. Something in the way he acted must have alerted Thomas to his predicament—or maybe he just knew.

  “I’m going to help you. This will make it better, boy.”

  He gasped sharply as Thomas manipulated his flesh with what appeared to be a piece of leather with several ties attached to it. Thomas moved his fingers with deftness as he attached the mysterious item to him. When he took his hands away, it completely covered his stiffened member, snug and secure around the base as well as ball sac. All he could do was stare at it, puzzled, yet…happy.

  “You like that, don’t you, boy?”

  He swallowed hard. It had been made clear that he was to answer any questions Thomas may ask him, but he hadn’t expected such an embarrassing one so soon.

  “Yes, um, yes, Sir.”

  Thomas caressed his ass, the action causing him to release a sigh.

  “That’s a good boy. Give me all your sounds. Don’t hide anything from me. Those belong to me also.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  Linus’ voice was soft, but so was Thomas’. It was almost as if they were floating together, as if they drifted above Hampton Road instead of standing inside it.

  “I’ll have another one made that will fit your cock and balls when you’re flaccid. I want you to wear it all the time unless I tell you different.”

  “All-all the time, Sir?”

  A low chuckle sounded from Thomas. “I don’t think you have a problem with that.” He trailed his fingertips along Linus’ belly. “A delightful rosy flush just spread up your body when I mentioned it. You want me to control you—even when we’re not together.”

  It hadn’t been a question, only a statement. Linus found that he couldn’t argue with Thomas’ words.

  Thomas tapped the end of Linus’ dick. “There’s a flap here. When you need to relieve yourself, it can be undone. I’ll be trusting that you’ll keep it closed otherwise. It will serve as a reminder that you’re not to touch yourself—that you don’t come without me. There will be a punishment if you forget to refasten or don’t do it. Understand?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  There hadn’t been much in the way of discussion regarding punishments. It was something he’d heard the other boys speak of the few times he’d waited in the submissives’ den. What had really surprised him had been how some of the boys had giggled about what they would do to get a punishment on purpose. Linus still hadn’t figured that one out. The second that Thomas had spoken of such a thing, all Linus could think about was making sure he avoided one.

  Thomas poked and prodded at the leather sleeve, tugged at the ties fixed around his shaft and sac. It was rapidly moving from comforting to erotic. As if Thomas knew what Linus felt, he changed his touches from probing to stimulating. Remembering what Thomas had told him, he moaned, not fighting the desire to express himself the way he usually did. He’d always attempted to remain silent, hidden.

  “Yes, nice.”

  Thomas cupped his swollen balls, rubbing a thumb over the lightly furred surface, then playing with the curled hairs, pulling—sometimes a little too hard.

  Linus hissed. There were slight pinches as Thomas teased, not too harsh—but enough to confuse his body as to whether he was enjoying the contact or if he wished it would stop. Thomas kept up the pace on his nuts then added a squeeze to his dick. He stroked over the sleeve and
Linus had a flash of wanting to yell at Thomas to make up his mind and decide if he was trying to hurt him or make him feel good. The intensity of the emotion shocked him and he tamped it down.

  “No. Don’t pretend. Don’t act as though you’re responding the way you think I want you to. Be Linus.”

  His breath caught and a small whimper fell from his lips. He was gripped in a sudden panic and tears welled up. The word mercy circled at the edges of his mind. All he wanted was for Thomas to stop with all the nonsense, take him back to his house then make love to him. He’d already said they could be together anyway, that he loved him. Why did they need to go through all this silliness?

  But the approval. The attention all on me.

  Even though his lover had told him they didn’t have to go to the club for Thomas to be happy, Linus still wanted to give that to him. Deep inside he knew he desired it too, but it was so scary, so mysterious. But the most frightening thing of all was realizing that he had no idea who Linus was.

  “Talk to me, boy.”

  “Oh…” Another tiny cry escaped him and he wondered where all the odd noises he kept making came from. He’d never been so vocal before. “I-I don’t know who Linus is. I mean, um, I…” Trembling took over his whole body and he couldn’t stop it.

  Don’t ruin this!

  Thomas removed his hands from his crotch then placed one over his heart, circling it around his chest.

  “Shh. There, there. Don’t fret about it. Don’t think. Feel my hand on your skin. Listen to my voice—that’s all that matters right now. Just be.”

  Linus nodded, still shaky, but his breathing evened out. “O-okay.”

  “That’s it. That’s my wonderful boy.”

  Thomas kept his caresses smooth, light. After a short while, the floaty feeling came back. He liked the floaty feeling.

  “Let’s go back to pleasure. We’ll stay there for a while. Lift your eyes then follow me. No more hiding tonight. You can look at me as much as you want unless I direct you otherwise.”

  He raised his head and was met with Thomas’ brilliant smile. His shoulders relaxed and he smiled back. That was better. He did as he was told, halting when Thomas stopped next to a padded table. Even though they’d been in the same room before, they’d never used it. The large area had a number of typical pieces of furniture—the majority of them of a Victorian—or possibly earlier—style. He wasn’t very knowledgeable of such things—his parent’s farmhouse had only contained simple, practical pieces.

  However, there were also odd ones that he didn’t understand. The rectangular oak table with a cushion of black leather being an excellent example. It had screws in the legs, almost as if the height could be adjusted. Why would anyone want to do such a thing?

  “Bend over then hang onto the straps on the side.”

  Linus squinted. There they were, like handles. They were the same black leather as the rest of the table, so he hadn’t noticed them at first. It seemed awkward to him, but he complied to the best of his ability. If he bent at the waist then clutched the straps around his hand, he couldn’t rest on the surface. It also seemed impossible for him to do anything but hang there in an uncomfortable position.

  “Like this, boy.” Thomas slid his hand through the loop then leaned over, his fingers splayed over the padding, his thumb flush to the side. “Brace yourself against the top. The straps are only to help keep you from slipping on the leather.”

  “Oh. Thank you, Sir.”

  Thomas quirked a smile, smoothing his hair back on his head. “You’re welcome, boy. Now bend over and get in the position I showed you.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  He’d said it with more conviction than anything else he’d uttered so far that evening. Seeing Thomas in the position he would be assuming had taken a lot of the trepidation of the act away from him.

  He mimicked what Thomas had done and wasn’t surprised when there was the feel of Thomas’ hands on him, once again manipulating his body the way he wanted. He encouraged him to stick his ass out farther, straighten his back, widen his stance. Linus had been so caught up in getting himself the way Thomas directed him, it wasn’t until they’d finished that it hit Linus how exposed he was.

  Thomas ran a finger down the back of his bulging sac. His toes curled, his dick bobbing. His lover repeated the movement, adding a second one, teasing so lightly. Linus moaned as need filled him, stiffening him more than when he’d been first restrained by Thomas. His lover grasped his butt cheeks then pulled them open. It occurred to him that one of the things he’d enjoyed about his initial experiences with Thomas was being so exposed to his gaze. He’d told the truth when Thomas had asked him if it would excite him to have others watch. The difference with Thomas was that it was only for him. It was another way to give himself, to be intimate with his lover.

  He cried out as Thomas licked along his bared flesh. Thomas paid special attention to his rim and he gripped the edge of the table harder. Nipping then lapping at Linus’ sensitive skin, Thomas alternated the actions until his need rose to an excruciating level.

  “Oh, Thomas, Sir…I…”

  He shook his head. Thomas dug his thumbs into Linus’ skin, pausing to speak.

  “Take what I give you, boy.”

  “Yes, Sir.” He’d gasped it out, his head hanging between his shoulders.

  Thomas continued to use his lips and tongue inside Linus’ crease some more and the pressure of the bindings around his genitals increased. He knew his cock leaked inside the sleeve. Right as his train of thought went to whether his preliminary emissions would ruin the encasement around his shaft, Thomas’ hardened tongue breached his entrance.

  He moaned, whimpered, groaned—completely freed as Thomas fucked his ass with the warm, moist appendage. Thomas thrust in and out of his hole and Linus let go, his only thought resting on the decadent intrusion stretching him just enough to promise so much more. He rolled his hips briefly until Thomas grabbed them, stilling him so that he had no choice but to receive the pleasure Thomas gave him.

  With his hands on Linus’ torso, his cheeks had closed around Thomas’ face as if trapping him there. Linus was treated to Thomas’ nose sliding in his crack, his hot breath sensitizing him even more. In that moment, the only thing that existed was the gratification he received from Thomas’ mouth.

  A sound of disappointment broke from him when Thomas stopped his ministrations.

  There was chuckling behind him. “I know, boy. Me too.”

  Thomas placed his hands on him again, touching him everywhere, stroking his torso, his arms, legs, ass, all the way down to his feet then up to lightly palm his throat.

  “Stunning. Such a beautiful boy, all for me.”

  The ties were too much. Thomas had him too hard, too aroused. He remembered that Thomas wanted him to express himself.

  “Sir, um, I’m…” He didn’t want everything to stop, only lessen somewhat. It wasn’t mercy. He wasn’t sure what it was.

  Damn words.

  “Tell me, boy. Anything you say is fine.”

  Oh. Okay.

  “It’s not pain—maybe pain. I don’t know.”

  “Where’s the pain?”

  “M-my shaft, my jewels. I…”

  “Mercy?”

  “No! Sorry, I mean, I, um…”

  He hung his head again, on the verge of crying as a small sob loosed from him. Why couldn’t he simply say the thoughts in his head out loud?

  “Shh.” Thomas soothed him, rubbing slow circles on his lower back. “Can you take a little more for me? Then you can have a reward.”

  He wasn’t sure why, but Thomas’ words helped. Just a bit longer for Thomas. Then it would be better.

  “Yes, Sir. I can.”

  “That’s my good boy. Proud of you.”

  He sighed. It was better already.

  Thomas moved away from him and since he’d told Linus he could watch him whenever he wanted, he peered over his shoulder to see what he was doing. Thomas
was digging through the satchel again and right as he plucked the bottle of oil Thomas had used to soften his rim the night before, he turned toward Linus.

  “Eyes forward, please. You don’t have to keep your gaze down, but for now, you’re not to look at me.”

  Linus did as directed, but was frustrated that he couldn’t see what it was that Thomas planned to do to him. After Thomas pried one cheek open, he drizzled oil in his crack. He wasn’t sure why Thomas wouldn’t want him to gaze at him while they fucked. He’d practically demanded it the night before.

  “Don’t worry about what I’m doing or what I might do.” Thomas kept his voice low. “Notice my hands on your skin, how warm it is, how it makes you feel—the slippery sensation of the oil as I spread it over that sweet spot of wrinkled flesh.”

  Linus hissed and arched his back, clenching as Thomas circled then lightly tapped his hole. He did it several more times until Linus was reduced to strangled sounds, sweat surfacing on his skin.

  “Mmm. Such a needy, hungry hole. Does it need this?”

  Thomas dipped only the end of his finger into Linus’ ass. He immediately clamped down, desperate for more.

  “I would say so.” Thomas chuckled. “It’s begging for me. Doesn’t want to let go. I know that pretty rosebud aches to bloom, to open up and stretch for me.”

  “Oh, my God. Please.”

  He was barely aware of his words, only the thrill of Thomas’ touch, his voice.

  “Then I won’t deny it.”

  Thomas inserted the entire length of his finger into his passage, gently sliding it until Linus felt the rest of Thomas’ hand flush to his skin. When he crooked the digit to rub over the bundle of nerves inside him, he jumped on his toes, gasping.

  “Keep your breathing steady. Let me give this to you.”

  He exhaled, then concentrated on keeping his breaths even. Soon Thomas moved within his channel, stroking him internally, occasionally brushing over the spot that sent tingles to the end of his cock. He needed the ties off, needed to come.