Downfall

by Jay Crownover

  Orley blew out another long breath and turned her head so she could look up at me. “That’s good, then. I want her to like me.”

  I lifted an eyebrow at her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. “What about me? Shouldn’t I be the one you’re worried about liking you?”

  She flushed and lowered her eyelashes to shield her gaze. The way the blue changed colors was always a giveaway to how she was feeling. I could read the truth in those different shades even when it was hard to trust what was coming out of her mouth.

  “You like me.”

  I laughed again and gave her a hard side hug. “You’re sure about that?”

  She nodded, still refusing to meet my gaze. “I’m sure. This is the last place I would be if you didn’t like me.”

  “True.” No one else had ever mattered enough to bring them to meet my mom.

  Two heads snapped up from whatever they were focused on when we entered the living room. My mother’s eyes traveled over us, lingering on my healing face and the thickness around my middle from the bandage wrapped tightly around my ribs. Sometimes she lectured me for showing up looking like I played in the Super Bowl without pads. Other times she wasn’t even fazed by the bruises and busted knuckles. I’d come home from school roughed up enough times, seeing me battered was nothing new, but today she focused her attention on Orley.

  “If you’re his girlfriend, you need to take care of him.” It was stated so matter-of-factly both Orley and I were slightly taken aback.

  “I will. Promise.” She sounded so sincere it was impossible not to believe her.

  My mother nodded and turned her surprisingly sharp gaze in my direction. “If you’re her boyfriend, you need to take care of her. You can’t be busy all the time anymore.”

  I coughed to clear my throat and hide my laughter. “Okay, Mom. I’ll do my best to not be as busy anymore so I can take care of Orley.”

  She nodded and turned to put her hand on top of Noble’s untamable curls. “And you both need to take care of my new friend. I like her a lot.”

  “That’s the plan. I’m going to take care of both of them, and you.” Or I would die trying.

  Noble beamed up at my mother as if Orley and I weren’t even in the room. It was obvious the two of them were enamored with each other. The little girl rested her tiny chin in her hand and mischievously replied with, “I like you, too. Do you like cake? We should have my mommy get us some cake!”

  My mother clapped her hands excitedly and agreed wholeheartedly. “I love cake.”

  I sighed and let Orley go sit with the other two ladies who held different parts of my heart. I tugged the brim of my ball cap lower on my forehead, hiding the sudden rush of overwhelming emotions taking hold of me.

  “I’ll go talk to Melody and see if she can help us find some cake.” I needed a second to get myself together.

  I’d always worried about something happening to me leaving my mom confused and alone. Without having to ask, I knew Orley would never turn her back on my mother. If things went south, and if someone managed to take me out, I had no doubt the pretty redhead would be the bridge between my mother and the rest of the world. She guarded her past selfishly, but she gave her heart and compassion without a second thought. It was cute that she wanted my mom to like her, but it was even better that I knew instinctively she would care for my mother, simply because the older woman meant everything to me.

  She wasn’t just the right girl I happened to meet at the wrong time.

  She was the only girl I was starting to think I couldn’t live without all of the time.

  Orley

  It was a quiet ride back to the city, minus the occasional babble from Noble. She had a blast with Solo’s mom and loved all the attention from the doting nurses. She got her cake and then some. I was pretty sure Melody went out and bought the closest grocery store out of sweets once Noble asked for them. It was obvious the staff cared immensely for their long-term patients, and the fact Noble immediately took a shine to one of their favorites made her even better in their eyes. It was hard to resist my kid and that smile of hers on any given day. When her pure, untainted heart and goodness glowed as bright as the sun, there was no way any functioning human could escape falling in love with her.

  Solo seemed to be deep in thought. He’d joked around all afternoon, and I realized the way he treated Noble was very similar to the way he treated his mother. He was calm, patient, and managed to put a lid on all that simmering testosterone that usually swirled around him. He turned into a gentle teddy bear when he was around anyone who was obviously not a threat. It was another layer to the man that was fascinating to see. I had no idea how he separated the guy who was soft and sweet with his mother from the guy who was intense and intimidating enough to keep away the predators on the streets. Solomon Sanders wore a lot of different hats, and they all managed to look damn good on him.

  I must have dozed off after getting lost in thought, because when I blinked my eyes open, the sun was setting, Noble was silent in the backseat, and Solo was pulling his car up to a familiar gate that was definitely not our apartment complex.

  I yawned and stretched my arms as much as the small space in the front seat would let me. I pointed out the windshield and asked, “Did you leave something at work? Why are we at your garage?”

  The place was scary as hell during the day. In the waning light of dusk, it looked like something out of a horror movie. A chill shot up my spine and I reflexively wrapped my arms around myself in a tight hug. For some reason, this garage reminded me of the place I now called home. It was full of surprises and nicer on the inside than anyone on the outside looking in would imagine. I shouldn’t know what the city’s biggest, most lucrative chop-shop looked like. In my previous life, I didn’t even think things like chop-shops were real; they were simply something on TV shows and in movies before Solo came into my life.

  After leaning out the lowered window to poke a code and scan his fingerprint into the fancy box on the outside of the gate, he turned to look at me with a serious expression. “Lester still hasn’t shown up, which is suspicious as hell. I think something bad may have happened to him. No one goes in and out of the Skylark without the old guy making note of it. With him gone, anyone can walk in and out of the complex. Vincent obviously knows you and I are close, which is why he tried to take me out. The more I think about you and Noble in that apartment complex, the more it seems like a bad idea for you to be there alone. This building is a fortress. No one gets inside these gates, no matter how hard they try. The apartment where you waited when I fixed your car is still empty. I texted the Boss to see if I could use if for a couple days. I think you and Noble should hang out here until I can figure out how to get Vincent off your back.”

  The big, metal gates rolled open, and for some reason I was reminded of a jail cell. Solo said no one could come in through the gates, but the same thing was true for anyone trying to get out. I knew what it was like to be trapped behind sky-high walls that promised protection, but in reality, only prevented escape.

  “You decided this without even talking to me about it?” I couldn’t keep the bite out of my voice, even though I was speaking softly so as not to wake up Noble. My hands tightened into fists and I felt my face heat with silent anger. “And what about our stuff? You can’t just haul a three-year-old around without preparing for it. Noble will be climbing the walls in an hour and she’s going to have a million questions. Not to mention, I already pulled her away once this year from the only life and family she’s known. Who knows how she’ll react if I do it again? She might end up hating me.” She was definitely going to throw a fit at being so far away from Erica and Riley. They filled the void left when Mrs. Sanchez ditched her. “I should have the final say in where my daughter and I end up.”

  Solo pulled his car through the gates and watched as they rolled closed in the rearview mirror. He turned his head slightly in my direction, but it was too dark so I couldn’t really read his expres
sion. However, there was a tick in the sharp cut of his jawline that indicated he wasn’t exactly thrilled by my complaint. I understood he was a lone wolf, a man used to acting on his own without question, but that wasn’t going to work for me and my daughter. My entire existence was a lie because I didn’t ask enough questions and let someone else decide everything for me. I was done letting anyone else think they knew what was best for me and my kid.

  “Make me a list of what you both need and I’ll go get it. I promised to keep you safe no matter what it takes. This is me doing that.” He sounded slightly disgruntled as he pulled the car to a stop in front of one of the massive garage doors that lined the front of the building. Once he turned the car off, he turned in his seat and looked at me through the shadows surrounding his face. “It should only be for a few days. What’s the big deal?”

  I huffed in aggravation and crossed my arms over my chest, turning my head so he wouldn’t see me fighting back furious tears. “The big deal is it’s my life. I have a job, bills, and most importantly, a kid to think about. I’m the one who should be in charge of making the decisions that affect us. You could’ve asked me what I thought about coming to stay here for a few days and we could have discussed the pros and cons. Instead, you took control and made the decision for me. Haven’t you ever seen a movie where the girl in danger is kept out of the loop for her own good by the hero, and then she ends up dead or captured because she wasn’t prepared?”

  He made a noise low in his throat and I could feel the waves of aggravation rolling off him. “I’m just trying to look out for you. For both of you.”

  Frustrated beyond belief, I sighed and leaned forward so my forehead thunked on the dashboard. “I know that, and I appreciate that your heart is in the right place. But, I have to think about what’s best for Noble before I consider anything else, and you unilaterally making choices for the both of us means I don’t have the opportunity to do that. You’re forcing me to play follow the leader, and I can’t do that. I can’t follow anyone blindly when I have to protect my daughter. We have to talk about things like this and come to a solution that is suitable for everyone… not just you.”

  I jumped in my seat slightly when his hand shot out to pound on the steering wheel. Reflexively, I looked in the backseat to make sure Noble was still sleeping.

  “I’ve been on my own a long time, and I haven’t had to answer to anyone besides my boss since my mother got hurt. I’m used to reacting quickly and being on the offensive when it comes to making split-second choices. It never even occurred to me to ask you what you thought about staying here, because I assumed you would see it was the best course of action until the head is cut off the monster you’re hiding from. You don’t want Channing Vincent to find Noble. Well, he would never think to look here, and if he did, he couldn’t get in.”

  I sighed. Solo had proven time and time again he would go to the ends of the Earth to protect the ones he loved. Making this decision without including me in his thought process was just an extension of that. When your heart latched onto an alpha male, when you set your sights on the king of the urban jungle, it was important to remember he might not always be able to protect your tender feelings, but he would do his best to make sure you stayed alive. Solo’s actions might not have been fully thought out, but how deeply he cared was evident in them.

  I dropped my forehead on the dash again and groaned. “I understand where you’re coming from, and if you explained all of that to me instead of simply deciding for me, I would have agreed. I need you to include me next time.” God forbid there was a next time.

  He made a growling sound and thumped the steering wheel again. “Only you know what’s best for Noble, right?”

  I slowly nodded. I might not always get being a mom right on my first try, but without any hesitation, I could honestly answer that I always put my kid first and always did what I considered best for Noble. She was my first priority in everything.

  Solo flicked up the brim of his hat so I could finally see his eyes. They were as black as midnight and narrowed ever so slightly. I’d seen him angry before when he pulled the drug dealer off of me and when he saved me from the handsy landlord. But this was the first time his angry, dark gaze was because of me. I had to admit I didn’t like it, and being in such a small, confined space when his big body was practically twitching with repressed aggravation was a little nerve wracking. It was a good reminder that, while Solo was nice to me and went out of his way to treat me well, he was still a dangerous man capable of great violence. Not that I was worried he was going to turn it on me, but it was always a good idea to be mindful of a predator’s teeth.

  “So if I tried to tell you how to take care of your kid, it would bother you, right? You would question who in the hell did I think I was trying to tell you how to raise your child when you’ve done it on your own for so long, wouldn’t you?” He snapped out the questions and watched me unblinkingly as I slowly nodded. I would bite his head off if he tried to interject into how I cared for my kid. I would go mama bear on anyone who tried to interfere. “It’s the same for me and how best to operate in the city. I grew up here. I know how this place works, and believe it or not, I know how guys like Channing Vincent operate. A criminal is a criminal no matter what side of the tracks they come from. I didn’t mean to step on your independence or parenting. I was just trying to do what’s right for the current situation. I’m not used to having my choices questioned any more than you’re used to having someone try and tell you what’s right for Noble.”

  I sat up in my seat and slowly reached out for his tattooed hand. “I want to be your teammate, Solo. I want to be in the game for once in my life. Not someone who sits on the bench. I did that already and realized I didn’t know any of the rules.”

  It took him a second, but eventually he turned his hand over so our palms slid together. I was beginning to really like the rough feel of his skin against mine. It made touching him tangible and real. It proved he was more than a dream, more than a figment of my imagination. I was still having a hard time believing that someone like him existed, but when we touched, it made him seem more attainable and human.

  “My name is Solo, and it’s always been fitting. I’ve been a one-man show for a long time. I’ve never been much for teamwork, but I will try to do better in the future.” He shook his head slightly and muttered, “But if I think something needs to be done for your own good, I may move without asking you first. I don’t care if you end up hating me, or if it means we don’t end up together. If you’re safe, if nothing happens to you and Noble, I can live with the consequences of acting first and asking later.”

  I sighed again and briefly closed my eyes. He was a steamroller and I was a dandelion. “Like I said, I know your heart is in the right place and that makes forgiving your high-handedness fairly easy. I would like it if you took a second to put yourself in my shoes. A conversation is all I’m asking for and I don’t think it’s an unreasonable request.” I didn’t tell him there was no way I could hate him. I hadn’t been able to from the start, even when all of my instincts told me I should.

  “It’s not unreasonable. I’ll try to do better in the future, but for now, will you please stay here for a few days until we have a solid game plan on how to deal with Vincent?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, we can stay for a few days, but I don’t want to hear any complaining when you see how much stuff you need to get from my apartment to keep Noble entertained.”

  He finally chuckled under his breath. “Deal.”

  We both jumped and cranked our heads around toward the back seat when Noble ordered, “Stop fighting. Fighting is bad.”

  I guess we’d allowed our voices to get a little louder than we should have.

  I gave my daughter a reassuring grin and reached out to pat her chubby little leg. “We weren’t fighting. We were just talking about something important so it sounded very serious.”

  She gave me her three-year-old version of a scowl and kick
ed her legs. “I don’t like it when you’re mad at each other.”

  Solo chuckled again as he levered himself out of the driver’s seat. “Me either, kiddo. It’s pretty much the worst. Wanna have a sleepover for a few days? It’ll be really fun.”

  Noble gave him a skeptical look as he poked his head in the backseat and started to unbuckle her from her seatbelt. “Can Riley come?”

  Solo paused for a second and shot me a look. I shrugged, leaving him to deal with the pitfalls of a sleepy, grumpy toddler on his own. Noble was far better at putting him in his place than I would ever be.

  “Uh, we’ll see if she can come see you one day, but you aren’t going to be here for very long, so you might have to wait to see her until you go back home.”

  I hid a smile behind my hand when Noble immediately went into tantrum mode. There were tears. There was kicking and screaming. There were tiny fists waving in the air. And there was a grown man looking like he wanted to run away and hide from the fussy toddler as she continued to wail at him. Solo wasn’t afraid of anything, but he looked terrified as he handed Noble over to me once I finally got out of the car.

  He looked at me with huge eyes as I rubbed a soothing hand up and down Noble’s back. I lifted an eyebrow in his direction and told him, “If I could get away with it, I would act exactly the same way when you tell me what to do without asking my opinion first.”

  He sighed and dragged a hand down his face. “Point made. We’re on the same team from here on out. Let’s go upstairs and you can give me a list of what you need. I’ll stop and bring some dinner when I come back.”

  Noble was still having a fit so I nodded at him and continued to whisper nonsense to my daughter. I told her everything was going to be okay and assured her we wouldn’t be away from home for very long. What I didn’t tell her was we were finally on a winning team for once, and eventually the game I’d unwittingly dragged her into was going to be over.