by Lucia Franco
"I don't understand. Why would he let me believe Kova was charged with rape?"
She gave me an apologetic look like she was torn down the middle. "He's your dad, Adrianna. I think if he had it his way, Konstantin would be locked up for the rest of his life." Her eyes roamed my face. "I think rape is easier for him to accept rather than think his daughter willingly slept with someone he trusted…and then got pregnant."
My eyes dropped down to the bed. She was right, and I was sure I'd probably act the same way if I was—
No. I let out a breath. I let that thought go. I couldn't go there.
"I'm going to see if I can get him to think about dropping the charges. I think down the line he'll regret it."
I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure how to respond properly.
"I think he needs to be reminded of how it was for us," she continued. "Then ask himself if he'd want that for you. I'm not saying I agree with your actions, but the situation isn't black-and-white either."
"He's going to say it's not the same thing. He'll never see it like that."
"I can try, right?"
Six
Dr. Kozol stood before me as he looked over my chart. Dad had called him in as soon as I was admitted.
"I highly recommend bed rest until you leave for your next gymnastics meet. You're burning the fuse at both ends. All you're doing is working against yourself," he said, sounding like my dad.
My eyelids were heavy as I looked up at him. I just wanted to go back to sleep.
"I know," I said. "I'm going to. My arm hurts really bad anyway. There's no way I can even do a cartwheel right now."
His eyes bore into mine and he lifted a brow. "Do not take Motrin for that. If you're in pain, or something is bothering you, I need to know first. Not all medications are safe for your kidneys."
"Okay."
"You're in pretty bad shape right now." He flipped to the next page. "Luckily, your kidneys have leveled out since you were admitted. As for the miscarriage," he continued, and my cheeks heated with embarrassment. "Again, bed rest is an absolute must. If you don't heal properly, you'll develop scar tissue and risk your chances of conceiving in the future. Your body could work against you, causing a flare up on top of that. Anything is possible when your immune system is compromised, as yours is right now."
"She'll get the proper rest she needs, Doctor." Dad reassured him.
Dad made it sound like I was going to be on bed rest for the rest of my life. I’d already decided I couldn’t spare more than five days, and even that was pushing it. I was hoping by then my arm wouldn't hurt as much.
"You're cutting it close, young lady," Dr. Kozol warned.
I nodded in agreement. I was playing with fate and I knew it.
Dr. Kozol strolled out of the room and Sophia returned to my bedside, reclaiming the chair next to me. Her fingers fidgeted with the sweater in her lap. I watched her, wondering if me being in a hospital bed brought back memories of her sick sister.
I reached out with my good hand and Sophia took it and gave it a sympathetic squeeze. Her jaw trembled.
I eyed Dad wondering when he was going to tell me the truth about the charges he pressed against Kova. I wouldn't throw Sophia under the bus for telling me, but how long was he going to torture me with his lie?
Dad's cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at the screen.
"It's Xavier. I need to take this," he said, and left the room.
"You're going to listen to the doctor, right?" Sophia asked.
I shifted, trying to get comfortable. "Yes." Maybe I could sleep the pain away during my downtime, then I wouldn't have to think about anything either.
She released a sigh. "Thank God."
"Does me being in this bed remind you of Francesca?"
She nodded, her mouth flat.
"I'm sorry."
"If I could trade places with you, I would," she said, her voice tinged with sadness. Her comment moved me intensely. Joy never would have said anything like that.
"Can you do me a favor and put my hair up for me, please?" I asked. I was hot all of a sudden thinking about Joy and her lack of compassion. Sophia nodded and dug in her purse for a hair tie.
"Francesca had such thick hair like you. I used to wish I had it. She had the prettiest beach waves, while mine was bone straight."
"Thank you." I smiled at her once she was done.
The door to my room opened and Dad strode back in with his phone held out toward me. "Your brother wants to speak to you," he said. I took it as Sophia pulled my hair up into a messy bun.
Bringing the phone to my ear, I said, "Hello?"
"Well, well, well, if it isn't my sister trying to steal the spotlight," Xavier said. It felt good to hear his voice.
"Hey."
"Is it true?"
My smile faded. "Which part?"
"About you being pregnant?" Leave it to Xavier to get right to the point. I didn't answer. "I'll take your silence as a yes."
"I was." I glanced up as Sophia ushered Dad to the other side of the room, giving me a bit of privacy. "I’m not anymore."
"Listen, I know you've gone through a lot these last couple of days. I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm not pissed the fuck off at you and the situation, but I will shut my mouth and save it for when you're able to have that conversation. And, Adrianna, we will be having that conversation."
God, Xavier reminded me so much of Dad in this moment.
"Thank you." I lowered my voice to almost a whisper. "I know I'm in no position to ask for a favor, but I really need something from you."
"Yeah, shoot."
"You have to promise to do it. Say, 'Yes, Adrianna, I promise to do anything you ask,' and then I'll tell you." He repeated after me with a hint of sarcasm that made me feel good inside. "Good," I said. "Now call Avery for me and tell her where I am. I don't want her to worry. I don't have my phone but I’ll call her first thing I can, so tell her to be ready for me."
Xavier was quiet for a long drawn out moment. I felt bad asking him to do this considering their history, but I needed him to call her. "Please. I need to talk to her."
He released a deep sigh, which told me him calling her was going to take a lot out of him. "All right, but only because you're my sister and I love you."
I smiled. "Thank you. When was the last time you spoke to her?"
"Oh, months ago. Around the Fourth of July." He was quiet, but I detected the sadness in his tone.
"You're not over her, are you?"
"Avery isn't someone you can easily get over."
I smiled to myself. "Sounds like her. She's hard to forget once she puts her mark on you."
He half chuckled, half huffed. "Tell me about it."
"I better go," I said, my voice small. It was nice talking to him. "I should rest now if I plan to make a huge comeback in just a few days."
"You're crazy, you know that?"
"Yeah, well, what's life without a little madness?"
"A boring fucking life, that's for sure. Stay strong, sis. You got this."
I tried not to tear up. "Thanks, Xavier." We hung up. I sniffled then wiped my nose.
Once Dad and Sophia realized I was off the phone, they stopped talking and walked over to me. I handed his phone back to him.
"Is it okay if I rest for a little while? Alone?"
A shadow crossed Dad’s eyes. He shifted on his feet. "Yes, of course. We'll be out here whenever you wake up." He turned to Sophia. "Do you want to go get coffee?" She nodded and they turned toward the door. "I'll just be a shout away," he said right before he stepped out. I thanked him and watched as they exited the room together.
Once the door clicked shut, I waited a few minutes to see if they would return. The silence grew thicker as their footsteps finally retreated. When a fair amount of time passed, I let go and broke down.
I cried for Kova.
I cried for my aching arm and not knowing how the heck I was going to manag
e when it felt broken.
I cried for the baby I would never meet and the cramps that were eating me alive in its memory.
I cried for all of the hurt I’d caused Dad and for making him feel like he failed as a parent.
And lastly, I cried for my future, for what could've been, but would never be.
Seven
Dad opened the door to my condo. I held my breath as I slowly stepped inside with Sophia following behind me.
I hadn't been here in three days and I was a little afraid of what I would walk in and see. Would there be broken glass? Blood? Furniture that had been turned over?
I glanced around the space, unprepared for what I saw. My condo looked perfect. It was like World War III hadn’t happened here just days ago.
"Your dad and I came by yesterday to clean up for you," Sophia said a little hesitant.
She seemed nervous and I wished she wasn't. That desire to be a mother was evident in her eyes and by the way she spoke to me, but she held back. I had a feeling she was worried about overstepping, but, truthfully, I could use a mother right now.
Glancing over my shoulder, I looked at both of them. Sophia seemed hopeful with the way her large round eyes watched me. Dad, well, he just looked sick and torn.
"It was Sophia's idea," Dad added grimly.
"Thank you," I said, my voice quiet.
All the broken glass was gone. There was a new decorative rug on the floor, but the coffee table was missing. I vaguely remembered hearing the wood splinter when I fell on it and felt a pinch on the back of my arm from the shattered glass.
My pace was small and slow as I walked across the carpet. My stomach had been cramping and any sudden movement seemed to make it worse. I'd had some painful periods in the past, but nothing like this. I wanted to bend over and hold myself, and pray it went away soon.
Instead, I sucked it up.
I walked into my room and came to a halt when I looked at the bed and rumpled sheets. Emotions clogged my throat. The sadness that rocked through me filled me with an immediate heartbreak I wasn't prepared for. My heart actually felt like it was being ripped down the middle.
This was the last place Kova and I had been right after he'd found out about the pregnancy.
I could still feel his strong arms around me, smell his cinnamon and tobacco scent in the air when he told me how he felt about me being pregnant. How he asked me to tell him that I loved him, and I wouldn't. I should have. I wished I had. He was my light when my world had been so dark, and now he was gone before I could really tell him how I felt. He deserved to know, and if we ever got the chance to be alone again, I'd tell him.
Thick tears brimmed my eyes, but I pushed them back. Everything was still so raw. I didn't want to cry in front of Dad because that would open the door for questions he couldn't handle the answers to.
"I don't agree with this," Dad said as he came up behind me. I swallowed thickly before turning around to face him. "In fact, I don't like it at all. I'd rather you come home so I can watch over you closely."
I had thought Dad agreeing to let me return to my condo was a sick joke until we’d pulled into Coral Cove.
Dad placed a hand on my shoulder and I had the strong urge to lean into him. Instead, I bit my lip and drew in a breath through my nose. I was so angry at him for having Kova arrested and letting me think it was for something other than assault. He still hadn’t come clean, and he’d said Kova was still in jail. Was that another lie?
"I don't want to ruin your gymnastics career," Dad continued, his voice ragged with guilt. "I don't want to be the one who took that from you." His jaw locked tight. "Your safety is my main priority, and that was jeopardized by someone I put faith and trust in to watch over you."
I waited for him to collect his thoughts. He was never going to believe that I’d played a huge part in mine and Kova’s relationship. I had so much I wanted to say but felt I should stay quiet.
"This was an extremely difficult decision to make, and not one I'm entirely sure is a good idea. I don't want to lose you, Adrianna. You're my only daughter. I just want what's best for you, but this whole thing has sickened me and brought me to a point I can't seem to come back from. I'll never forgive Konstantin for what he did." I opened my mouth to speak but Dad put his hand up to stop me. "Regardless of what happened or how you feel, he knew better." He gave me a pointed look. "You don't love him, Adrianna. You're infatuated with him because he's been to the Olympics and has the connections to get you there. That's all it is. He played on that."
My jaw dropped and my eyes widened.
"Are you suggesting I slept with my coach to move up higher in rank?" My brows creased when he didn't answer me. "That's insane to even fathom, not to mention literally impossible. You can't fake it to make it in sports. You can’t sleep your way up the chain, especially in the Olympics. In your world of business and money, yes, but not in mine."
He shook his head, disappointment weighed heavily in his eyes.
"You don't love him," he repeated, and I wondered who he was trying to convince more.
My shoulders dropped. I wanted to argue with him and tell him I did love Kova, but I'd already told him a few times and got nowhere.
"You're going to be watched. Your phone will be monitored. Your truck now has a tracking device. If you so much as even try to contact Konstantin, or go somewhere other than the gym or the doctor’s office, I'll know. Your condo was scoured and cleaned, and that pregnancy test you saved was thrown away."
I swallowed hard. I'd forgotten about that.
Dad shook his head, his eyes becoming glossy. "I trusted you." His voice was a broken whisper and it cracked something in my chest. "I put all my cards on you, defending you, insisting you were mature for your age when others said I was irresponsible to allow you to live alone. I'm furious you put yourself in the situation that you did. I raised you better than that. You let me down."
I winced at his blunt words. All I seemed to do was mess up everything for everyone and that truth fed my guilty side.
"Maybe it's my fault for asking him to watch you like I did," he whispered, talking more to himself than to me. "Maybe I brought it on or just made it worse."
Dad was gutted far worse than I understood. I felt like the situation was amplified by ten for him. The way he looked at me crushed me. His eyes were guarded, and there were blue tinted sacks under them.
"Thank you for giving me this last chance," I said.
His eyes bore into mine. "Don’t thank me, thank Sophia. The only positive that came from this is I now know what Joy had on you." He was quiet, like he was deep in thought. "It all makes sense, and I know how to handle her now."
"She couldn't have known about the pregnancy, but I guarantee she knew about the affair." I swallowed, then said, "I'd prefer if you didn't talk to anyone about the miscarriage."
"I wasn’t planning on it."
His eyes roamed around my room, not really looking for anything, it was more like he was trying to process it all. Dad cleared his throat and I looked away. I couldn't handle seeing the disappointment in his eyes. "Come to the kitchen. Sophia went shopping."
My brows shot up. Sophia was really trying.
Holding my stomach, I followed Dad into the kitchen and found Sophia waiting for us. She bit her lip then shot Dad a nervous glance before looking back at me. "I wasn't sure what you needed or could eat, so we got a few basics for you. I also set up your medications and got you a few feminine products that I placed in your bathroom," she said. I assumed she meant pads and such because of the bleeding. I hadn’t even thought of that. I was really thankful she had.
I nodded subtly. "Thank you, Sophia. I really appreciate it."
"Figured you could use some stuff. I didn't think you'd want to drive anywhere."
She was right, I didn't.
Dad turned toward me. "I have to go back to Savannah tonight, but Sophia lives off the highway just two exits from here. She wants to be here, so if you need anyt
hing, don’t hesitate to reach out to her." He blinked. "It goes without saying you're not to have any contact with Konstantin once I leave. None whatsoever. Do you understand me?" I nodded, my lips flat. How did he expect me to train without my coach? I decided I'd leave it for another night.
Leaning toward me, Dad pressed a kiss to the top of my head and gave me a brief hug. He pulled back and looked into my eyes for a long moment. I wished he'd stop looking at me like I'd failed him beyond repair, like there was no coming back from this.
He exhaled a heavy breath before heading to the door and stepping out, leaving me alone with Sophia. She rounded the kitchen counter and stopped in front of me.
"Anything you need, Adrianna, please just call me." There wasn't an ounce of pity in her eyes. "Even if you just want to vent or cry or have girl questions your dad can't answer. I left my number for you."
I nodded as stupid tears climbed to my eyes again. Joy had never been that authentic with me, like she really wanted to be there and help me at the drop of a hat.
Moving on instinct, I threw my good arm around her and buried my head in her neck. Sophia froze, then her breath hitched as she stepped closer to hug me back. She was only a little taller than me.
"Thank you," I said, my voice breaking.
Sophia nodded her head in response and cried with me.
Eight
After they’d left, I immediately took a shower and cried my eyes out until the water ran cold.
I couldn't take smelling like a hospital any longer.
I had found my phone in the nightstand and put it on the charger, knowing I would need to call Avery the second I got out. I desperately needed to talk to her.
Not having use of both hands proved to be challenging. My hair had thinned out a lot from the illnesses, but I still had a mop on my head and washing it wasn't easy. Neither was dressing with one hand. I brushed my teeth, then I stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling bathroom mirror and looked at myself. My skin looked ashen, and there wasn't an ounce of life in my green eyes. I looked frail and malnourished. Dehydrated.
