by Lucia Franco
I wasn't supposed to use tampons yet, but I couldn't wear a pad during practice. Not with how much I was bleeding. I had tested it out before I left home with a pair of workout shorts and decided it was a no-go. On my way to World Cup, I’d stopped at the pharmacy and bought the biggest tampons I could find. I figured they'd hold more. I just hoped using them wouldn’t make the pain in my pelvic area worse or extend the recovery time.
With my bag stowed in my locker, I turned around to leave when Holly appeared in front of me. I jumped, startled. She stood there watching me with inquisitive eyes.
"Adrianna!" she shouted, and threw her arms around my shoulders.
I hugged her back with one arm and forced a smile. She squeezed me hard enough to produce a wince, but I hid it.
"Hey, Holly."
She pulled back and eyed me up and down. "Where have you been? Hayden and I were so worried about you. Hayden said he tried to call you but you didn't answer. Madeline told us you were absent but didn't say why."
"My Achilles was flaring up and I managed to dislocate my elbow." I nodded toward my side where my bad arm hung like a scarecrow. She cupped her mouth and gasped in shock. "It's fine now. It was popped back into place, but it's sore as hell and hurts to do anything, really."
Her worried eyes studied me. "How'd you do that?"
"I went to lunch with my dad, and we were walking back to the car when another car came flying around the corner and almost hit me. Dad yanked me out of the way and dislocated my elbow when he pulled." The story Dad had come up with a couple days ago rolled off my lips.
She gasped again, horrified. I had been just as surprised when Dad came up with that on the fly too.
"But what about the meet? What about…about everything?"
My lips flattened at the rising panic in her voice. "I wish I had an answer. All I can do is push through. What choice do I have?"
Her mouth twisted. "Yeah, you don't really have a choice, do you?" Her gaze traveled to my upper arm and her frown deepened. "What's that bruise from?"
I followed her stare and spotted the black-and-blue I hadn’t realized I had. I blinked rapidly and squinted my eyes. I needed to quickly come up with a lie.
I took Dad’s story a little further. "When my dad yanked me away, I stumbled over my feet and he pulled harder. My arm twisted and I fell into the back of a nearby car pretty hard." She studied me a bit longer before looking into my eyes again. "We were in a parking garage when it happened." I had no idea why I added that.
"Luckily your arm will only be sore for another day or so, then you'll be good to go. That's how it was for me."
My brows rose to my hairline. Holly confirmed we'd had the same injury. "I was working a new bars routine and added a new skill when I did it, only, I panicked because it was my first time trying it." She gave me a knowing look. "I freaked."
I cringed, hearing the socket pop in my head.
We exited the locker room together. Anticipation filled me as we approached the gym. I wondered how Kova would react when he saw me, if he'd try to talk to me later. I was supposed to receive the cell phone Avery had ordered for me today, so maybe I could call him tonight.
As I stepped onto the blue carpeted spring floor, I felt an energy zip through my feet and realign my center. A sensation came over me and I breathed it in, hoping it would guide me in the right direction. It felt like stars were kissing my skin trying to coax life back into me. I prayed it would give me the strength I needed to get through this.
It felt good to be here.
"Madeline is waving everyone over," Holly said, and I nodded.
There was already a small group of gymnasts sitting crossed-legged in front of her. My gaze took in every corner and square inch of the vast room, searching for the pair of green eyes I loved so much. My excitement started to fade when I scanned over the people again and didn't see them.
Kova wasn't here. My anxiety spiked. If Dad had only pressed assault charges, then why wasn't Kova here? I’d assumed he'd be out of jail by now, unless there was something I didn't know.
My stomach tightened. I exhaled a heavy breath and looked ahead. My gaze stopped on Madeline who eyed us as we joined the group. She observed me closely through narrowed eyes and my breath hitched in my throat. I smiled at her, pretending like it was any other day of practice. I prayed she didn't know the truth.
I shook my fingers out and looked to her right. There was a man standing next to her I'd never seen before. He was stiff as a board. His arms were behind his back, his stance was that of a soldier. If I had to guess, I'd say he was a little older than Kova, and he was built a little rough around the edges. His hair was dark and his eyes were a striking black that led to a sharp, pointed nose. He looked of European descent. I wondered if he was from Russia too.
We sat down and waited while Madeline flipped through her yellow notepad. She had one foot propped on a folding mat and was swaying back and forth.
"We have a full week ahead of us and need to stay on track. Since the Trials are right around the corner, I'll be working with Adrianna closely to prepare her while the rest of the team works with Danilo to prepare for their scheduled meets. He's the new coach Coach Kova recently hired. I'll let him give a brief introduction before we get started."
My brows furrowed. Kova had hired a new coach? When had he done that, and why hadn't he told me?
"My name is Danilo Teglia." The new coach began his introduction, and I was caught off guard by his heavy, stiff accent. "Konstantin has been a friend of mine since we were teenagers, though we did not start out as friends. We were first competitors. Where he represented Russia, I represented Ukraine. I have competed in three Olympic Games and have almost as many gold medals as Konstantin." A smile curved his mouth like he was thinking about something. "We became a challenge to each other at meets, always trying to outplace the other. He was my biggest competitor. I currently own a gym back home that is strictly for elite, but also where the Olympic trainees prepare before the Games. I will be splitting my time between here and the Ukraine."
Holly leaned over and whispered, "What's with the lack of contractions?"
I shot her a fleeting look and tried not to laugh. I shrugged.
Reagan looked at us with a grin. She wiggled her brows. "New eye candy," she said, and turned away.
"I look forward to getting situated here. Konstantin has spoken highly of all his gymnasts. I am excited to see what you are all made of. We have similar training methods, so expect the same from me, if not more."
Madeline gave Danilo a friendly smile, then she looked at all of us. "If you need anything, Danilo and I are here to help. Now, let's get started." Her eyes darted to me. "Adrianna," she said, and waved at me to come to her.
"Where's Kova?" I leaned over, asking Holly. She shrugged her shoulders.
Frowning, I got up and walked to Madeline. Luckily the Motrin was keeping the cramps at bay and they weren't as severe. There was a steady warmth of bloating and pressure, but I could deal with it.
"Hi," I said.
Danilo stood to the side. His hands were propped on his hips and his closeness made my heart skip a beat. He was dressed in a plain white T-shirt and navy-blue basketball shorts.
"Nice to finally put a face to the name. Konstantin speaks very highly of you."
I offered him a nervous smile. I couldn't say the same.
"Kova had you scheduled for a blading session tonight. Dr. Hart will be here to take care of it," Madeline said. I turned to her and nodded. "We'll go over your schedule tonight for the next couple of days as well. How's your elbow?"
Slowly, I stretched my arm out to show her. "Honestly, it hurts. It's really sore, but once I start working out a bit more, I'm sure I won't even feel it."
"Can you move your fingers? Raise your arm above your head?"
I swallowed hard. "I need to stretch first and warm it up really good, then I think I should be okay."
She didn't look thrilled. "I'll have Ethan l
ook at it tonight and see what he can do."
"How did you do that?" Danilo asked, nodding with his squared chin toward my arm.
"My dad was playing hero."
His brows drew in like he didn't believe me. "May I?" he asked, and I nodded.
Danilo got on the floor and instructed me to get down next to him. "Flatten your hand on the floor and spread your fingers out. Slowly apply weight as you try to straighten it."
That's what I'd done this morning and it hurt.
I clenched my eyes from the tightness. Danilo placed his hands on my upper arm and elbow and carefully pressed against it to straighten it out. I grunted under my breath, and he halted and looked at me with his midnight eyes.
"It's fine, keep going."
He dipped his chin once. It wasn't fine.
Danilo applied more pressure, counted to ten and then let up. The muscles and ligaments in my arm screamed in protest. I bit the inside of my lip. He relaxed and then did it again, this time the sharp pain radiated from my wrist to my shoulder. Once he did a few rounds of those, we moved onto another stretch.
"Lie on your stomach and prop up on your elbows. Turn your hands up," he said, and I did. "Take a deep breath, then release."
Placing two fingers on the inside of my wrist, Danilo carefully pressed down until the top of my wrist touched the floor. I tensed and clenched my eyes shut. My arm was straining as he held it for a few seconds before he let up and repeated his actions. Something as simple as this caused a series of hot flashes to tingle through my body.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes," I said through clenched teeth.
"How are you feeling, Adrianna?" Madeline asked.
Sitting on my knees, I moved my arm around in front of me. "It's a little better, still tight, but it should loosen up during practice."
"Let's hope it does because with the time you missed, you don't have a choice right now other than to push through it. Your schedule is pretty intense—there's no room for downtime. You need to block it out and work your hardest."
I nodded in agreement and licked my lips. I was going to have to grin and bear it, and pray to every god that I didn’t make it worse.
"Lift your arm above your head," Danilo said. I was still on my knees and raised my arm.
He stood next to me and placed his palm to mine. His fingers wrapped around mine and held on while he very gently pressed down to see if I could handle impact. Danilo held my wrist as he did so.
"Lock your elbow if you can," he said, pushing a little harder.
My stomach twisted in agony. God, I wanted to cry from the excruciating pounding that took my breath away.
How the fuck was I going to do vault? Or swing on bars? Tumble?
"Block it out," he ordered. "Pretend it does not exist."
I nodded furiously, teeth pressing into my lip so hard I tasted blood. Clenching my eyes shut, I held my breath as he angled my arm back to stretch it out. My back arched and he noticed. Danilo used his knee to prevent me from leaning back. The jerk.
"You are going to need physical therapy tonight, warm compresses, and an inflammatory to get you through this. I suggest something like this every morning before practice to warm up the arm and loosen the muscles around the elbow, and then again at the end of the day."
"Great, you can do it for her," Madeline said. "Adrianna, I'll see you at beam while I speak to Danilo."
I stood up, giving my thanks to Coach Danilo, then turned around and made my way to the balance beam. I watched the floor as I walked, listening to the springboard at the front of the vault ricochet and the spring in the uneven bars rebound. A prickly sensation spread across my neck. I reached up to rub it away and glanced around the gym.
I felt like there were eyes all over my body. My brows furrowed. Was Kova here and I just couldn't see him? Maybe Dad really did have someone watching me.
The paranoia festering inside me was starting to eat away at me. I expelled a strained breath and wondered if anyone knew anything.
They couldn't… Right?
I'd been absent from the gym for five days. So had Kova. For someone who was going to the Olympic Trials, that kind of absence was unheard of. The same would be said for Kova, and he still wasn't here. It looked suspicious. People were curious, and for the most part, they weren't stupid. I felt like they were putting two and two together.
Stepping in front of the balance beam, my fingers trembled a little as I placed them on the leather. I grazed my palms on the material as I found my center again. My gaze dropped to my hands. There was an indentation on the edge from when someone slipped and hit their mouth.
An indentation like Kova had left on me.
I mounted the beam. The moment my feet touched the four-inch piece of wood, my mind cleared and I set my focus in place.
I knew what I needed to do and let the rest fade away.
I exhaled everything I was holding on to and visualized my routine. The leather beneath my feet called to me, encouraging me. My heart pounded in my chest and my nerves were back to taunting me. But then I thought about how Kova had once said nerves were good and kept the adrenaline going. Lose the nerves, and you lose the love. His words made sense to me.
Despite the flickering agony in every nerve ending in my body, there was not a chance in hell I was going to let anything, or anyone, take this from me.
I could relax when I was dead.
Warming up with connecting back handspring step outs, I blocked out the pain like Madeline and Danilo said.
That didn't mean I couldn’t feel anything.
I was silently screaming on the inside.
Eleven
"Come on, Adrianna." Madeline grumbled. "That was weak going over. You need to excel after you hit the handstand, then you can push it over."
Weak.
That word left a sour taste in my mouth.
I wiped the sweat from my temples as I walked to the end of the track thinking about Madeline's suggestions. I rotated my arms in wide circles to loosen them. I desperately wanted to rub the ache in my elbow, but I didn't want to show it was bothering me. Instead, I chewed the hell out of the inside of my mouth to hide my discomfort.
Madeline had felt it wasn’t a good idea to risk practice tumbling on floor with my arm just yet. So, after we broke down my floor routine and conditioned the dance skills for three hours, we moved to the tumble track.
"Your butt is too low and you're going to knock your teeth out if you land like that on the actual floor. Do it again. Stick the landing," she yelled and clapped her hands.
Using the tumble trampoline had been a good idea after practicing all day. Even though I could feel the strain deep in my elbow, I kept going. My fingers started to go numb but I shook it off. I told myself if I could work through an Achilles strain and a kidney infection, then there was no reason why I couldn’t work through this too.
"Faster. You need to rotate faster to build power. Do it again. Get that flip moving faster."
I set my eyes on the end of the trampoline and pictured myself doing exactly what she instructed. Inhaling a deep breath, I placed one foot in front of the other and tapped the black netting. I exhaled and looked to my right. I could feel someone watching me.
Black eyes met mine.
Danilo was blatantly staring at me as he worked with Reagan and Holly on bars. My brows twitched. He wasn't observing me with interest, but more in bewilderment.
"While I'm young." Madeline bit out.
My eyes snapped back to hers. I nodded and shifted my feet.
When I glanced over at Danilo one last time, he had his back to me.
Shaking it off, I hurdled into a roundoff, my shoulder tight as I flipped backward two times before rebounding off the trampoline with a grunt. I reached as high as I could to set a twisting double full out. This was a dangerous tumbling pass on the floor because I was twisting toward the ground and could lead to injury faster.
Blocking out the shooting pain in my arm, I ro
tated as hard and as fast as I could by bringing my fists to my chest. I told myself to keep going, to push and fight for that perfect landing. I could feel the pull of gravity and squeezed every muscle in my body, twisting until I spotted the giant blue mesh matt to open up for my dismount.
Feet together, my toes touched down first on the floor and I raised my arms above my head to set the landing. After an inconsistent day of practice, I stuck it.
"Fabulous," Madeline said, clapping her hands as she praised me. "Let's move on."
Panting, I flopped down on my butt to scoot off the mat. My chest was a little tight but nothing I wasn't used to, I just needed to take smaller breaths.
"Madeline?" I called out.
She walked over to me. "Yes?"
"I was thinking about something you said earlier. Are you going to be training me until we leave?"
Her head tilted to the side. "I am."
"Oh, ah, okay," I stammered from nerves. "I was just wondering where Kova is. I didn't know he'd be gone."
Madeline studied me. My stomach clenched with anxiety, but I didn't show it. I kept a straight face and didn't look away as if I’d asked a completely innocent question. Her eyes shifted back and forth between mine as if to say, "You already know."
Her lips puckered with false pity. "Don't worry about a thing. I spoke with Kova and I've got it covered. He gave me your schedule until we leave. Go ahead and head to bars now," she said, her lips rolled up firmly. She stepped around me and walked away.
I frowned. I guess we were finished with the conversation.
I hid the slight limp as I walked to bars covered in chalk and my hair a mess at the top of my head. For once, I was looking forward to a blading session. It'd been a while, and they always made me feel brand new…once the aftermath wore off.
I reached the uneven bars and Danilo gestured at me with two fingers. I walked over to him and he reached out for my arm. My hand gently rested on his bicep as his large fingers began kneading my aching muscles. I sighed in relief, my eyes closing.
"Feel better?" he asked.
"Yes," I said, a little breathless. It did.
