Live In Position

by Sadie Grubor

  "Stay awake, Allison." I grabbed her shoulders to help keep her upright.

  Amber must have let the paramedics in because soon they were rushing into the bathroom. The tallest and heaviest of the two were asking questions about what happened. Larissa stated the part about the pills and then William told them what he’d done.

  "Larissa, what happened?" Connor burst into the very crowded bathroom. Larissa ran into his arms, sobbing.

  "We need to clear out this bathroom." The paramedic ordered. We left them to do their jobs.

  "Oh, Connor, I never thought she was this bad." Larissa sobbed.

  He rubbed her back.

  "It's not your fault."

  "Is she okay?" A soft voice spoke from the doorway. I turned and my jaw dropped.

  There stood an exact replica of Allison, only older. They had the same hair color, build, facial features and skin tone. Allison was her replica, aside from the eye color. This was Juliet Pierce, infamous nanny, mistress, and biological mother. Tear traces were on her cheeks.

  "We aren't sure yet." Connor said in a defeated tone. His eyes stayed on the bathroom door.

  It took the paramedics a half hour to get Allison stable enough they were comfortable with transporting her to the hospital. Connor rode in the ambulance with Allison, while Larissa and Juliet followed in her car.

  Amber, William, and I were sitting in the living room in fog after everything.

  "I think I need a vacation from vacation." William broke the silence.

  "Will Aunt Allison be okay?" Victoria leaned against me.

  I nodded.

  "Yes, she just got sick." I kissed the top of her head.

  The front door opened and Dr. Bishop stopped after taking a step into the house and looking at us.

  "Ms. Ashwood?" He looked at me in confusion.

  This was the first time I’d seen him since the fateful career ending kiss. Now I had to tell him about what just happened with his little sister.

  "Um…Dr. Bishop, Allison was just taken to the hospital."

  His eyes widened.

  "What happened?" He pulled his cell phone out and started dialing.

  "They just took her." Amber said. "They are probably still in the ambulance or just arriving.

  "She took too much medicine." I attempted to say it so it didn't sound too scary for Victoria.

  "She tried to kill herself?" Dr. Bishop blurted out in complete shock.

  I felt Victoria stiffen and wrapped my arms around her tighter.

  "No." I gave him a look and then slightly nodded to Victoria. "She got sick." I said through clenched teeth.

  His eyes fell to Victoria. He took a deep breath, pinched his nose, and dropped his bags to the floor.

  "I'm going to the hospital." He closed the door behind him.

  William got up and grabbed Dr. Bishop's luggage, taking it to his room for him. Amber and I both looked at him confused. He shrugged.

  "I need to do something." William disappeared upstairs.

  "Okay, how about we head off to that beach, huh?" I looked around the room at the sad children.

  We got them to the beach and tried to keep their minds off of this morning's events. Michael and Gregory didn't completely understand what was going on, but they knew something happened to their mother and it was affecting them.

  Two days passed with a couple of updates from Larissa. Max arrived the night of Allison's 'illness' and had gone straight to the hospital with the family. We spent the time trying to keep the kids preoccupied with activities and outings.

  After two more days, Larissa, Max, and Dr. Bishop arrived at the house and informed us we would be going back to Seattle the next day.

  The next morning we finished loading things into cars and preparing for the drive back. I was taking one last run through of the third floor when Dr. Bishop caught me by surprise.

  I stepped out of Amber's room and grabbed my chest.

  "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He said in his typical cold tone.

  "No problem." I started for the stairs.

  "Ms. Ashwood, we should discuss some things." He cleared his throat.

  I froze in my tracks and squeezed my eyes shut. Without turning around I spoke.

  "There’s nothing to discuss. I’ll put my resignation in when we get back to –"

  "Your resignation?" His cold tone was gone.

  Turning to face him, I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat.

  "Yes. I figured you would request that I –"

  "Why would I …" he trailed off, "Oh." His brow furrowed. "I wasn't…What I mean to say is that I wasn't referring to that situation at the moment."

  Great, he wasn't talking about that situation. Way to go, just make more of an ass out of yourself Soph.

  "I'm sorry. I just figured you were talking about…that."

  "Yes, well…" he rubbed the back of his head. “You’re planning to leave then?" His eyes came back up to meet mine.

  "I think it’s probably the appropriate thing to do given the circumstances." Tears formed in my eyes. I wanted to run from this conversation. Victoria's face filled my mind and it was crushing me. I would have to explain I was leaving. "I can stay on until you find a replacement, if necessary."

  "I see." He stared at me intently, but that was all he said. His eyes stayed on me and I felt more and more uncomfortable with every second that ticked by.

  "What was it you wanted to discuss?" I remembered he was originally going to talk about another topic.

  "Yes, um, it seems that Grace does not want to give up her 'rights' to Victoria, so I’ll be going to court for the custody hearing. You, uh, may be called upon to testify or to bring Victoria in to talk with attorneys."

  I nodded in understanding. The intensity of his green eyes seared me, becoming too much. I simply turned and walked down the stairs.

  The drive back to Seattle was quiet. I was lost in my own thoughts. Victoria was either buried in a book or her handheld video games. She seemed to be in her own little world as well.

  The more I thought about resigning, leaving Victoria, the more my chest ached. I’d gotten entirely too close to her and was now going to pay the price. I wasn't sure how I was going to tell her, and I wasn't sure if I should make the time we had left a great time or put more distance between us to prepare her. How the hell do I handle this? I groaned and Victoria looked at me curiously.

  "What's wrong?"

  "I'm just tired from driving." I lied forcing a smile.

  Great, now I'm lying to her. She believed the lie and went back to her video game.

  By the time we reached the Bishop's house, my bottom lip was swollen and raw from chewing. I dug through my purse for lip balm and spread it over my irritated lips before climbing out of the car.

  Victoria and I grabbed some bags and headed to the front door. I set the bags down and unlocked the door, moving quickly inside to punch in the code for the alarm system. Victoria wheeled her luggage toward the stairs when I went back out to the car. Leaning into the back of the car I felt a presence. A body pressed to my side.

  Snapping a look to my left, I was greeted to Dr. Bishop's perfect profile. He reached into the car and helped me pull out the large bag. I cleared my throat and took a couple of steps away from him.

  "Thank you." I reached for the handle on the bag, but he began pulling it toward the door.

  Moving to the side, I watched him until he disappeared through the door. Turning back to the car, I grabbed other bags.

  After dropping the bags at the bottom of the stairs, I twisted around to go back to the car. His presence called to me from behind, but I resisted the urge.

  Grabbing a large basket from the back of the car, the warmth of his body and scent surrounded me. I held back a shiver threatening the base of my spine. Turning to carry the basket inside, I accidentally brushed against him. My battle with the shiver was lost. Tingling coursed from our touch, through my limbs. My face heated.

  Once
everything was inside and the luggage, bags, and baskets were in the appropriate rooms. Victoria and I collected dirty clothes.

  "So, are you happy to be home?" We headed for the kitchen.

  "I guess."

  I looked down at her.

  "What's wrong?" I opened the fridge. "Hmmm…I'm afraid we'll have to order something or go out." I shut the fridge and looked to Victoria. "We need groceries."

  "What’re we going to get?" She hopped up on a stool and leaned her elbows to the counter top.

  "Hmm…I'm not sure. What are you in the mood for?" I leaned my elbows onto the counter across from her, my chin in resting on my fists.

  She thought really hard before answering.

  "I don't know."

  "You don't know what?" Dr. Bishop appeared through the kitchen door.

  Victoria spun around.

  "What to have for dinner."

  Dr. Bishop headed to the fridge.

  "Don't bother Daddy. We need groceries." She huffed.

  I giggled.

  "You need to tell me what you would like?" Tapping her arm, I pulled her attention back.

  "You pick."

  "Burgers and fries?"

  She shook her head.

  "How'bout, pizza?"

  She shook her head again.

  "What about Chinese?" Dr. Bishop looked between the both of us, before he settled on Victoria. "You said you like Chinese, right?" Nervousness crept over his face.

  Victoria nodded in answer, but was as shocked as I.

  "Okay, I'll, um, get the menu and call the place."

  "Why don't we go to the restaurant?" Dr. Bishop suggested.

  I swallowed and prayed Victoria wouldn't feel like it. The tension between us was thick and unsettling.

  "Yes," She happily jumped off the stool. "I'll get my shoes." She ran passed me through the kitchen door.

  "Slow down." I yelled after her and then sighed.

  "Don't you feel like going out?" His voice was much closer. I tensed and glanced to see how close. My brow furrowed at the small amount of space between us.

  "No, it's fine." I inched toward the door. "I'll just get ready to go."

  Walking from the kitchen, his presence was following closely. I wanted to scream at him to stop this game he insisted on playing. I already told him I would resign.

  We arrived to the Chinese restaurant and were seated almost immediately. I made sure Victoria was between Dr. Bishop and me. I wasn’t an expert with the games the antichrist played and felt a little guilty for hiding behind Victoria. It was still a mystery to me how the Antichrist and Hell Harpy could possibly create the red headed angel, but here she sits.

  Victoria talked about how fun vacation had been and hoped it was warm enough to swim tomorrow. She kept the mood light and easy. When dinner concluded, we rode home in silence, until Dr. Bishop's cell phone broke the silence.

  "Hello?" "We’ll be home shortly, what's wrong?" "Oh, No, no, of course she can."

  There was a long pause.

  "The code is 1917." Another pause, "Yes, I changed it."

  Sighing heavily he ended the call. He cleared his throat and I looked over at him. He glanced at me and then back to the road.

  "We will be having visitors staying with us." I couldn't tell if he was irritated or nervous.

  "Okay."

  "Allison will be staying for a few weeks."

  I tensed. "Oh, uh …"

  "She needs to be under constant supervision and since I will be home for the next couple of weeks…" he paused, "It just works out."

  I nodded, not caring if he could see the action or not.

  "William and the boys will be over frequently of course, but most of the time will be staying in their home with Jonathan." I shot a look at him. He caught that and nodded.

  "Yes, Jonathan is at their home. It is one of the reasons they don't want to take her there." I nodded again and turned my gaze out the window.

  "Juliet Pierce will also be visiting and possibly staying with us as well."

  "Dr. Bishop, it's your home. Whoever you wish to stay can obviously –"

  "I want you to be aware, that's all." He said quickly and his knuckles seemed to turn white as he gripped the steering wheel tightly.

  I closed my mouth and remained silent for the remainder of the drive.

  Connor's BMW was in the driveway, as well as Larissa's Mercedes. We all got out of the car and headed inside.

  "Collin," Connor nodded to Dr. Bishop as we entered.

  "Dad," He nodded back.

  "Sophia, how was the trip back?" Connor smiled warmly.

  "It was good." My smile wasn't whole-hearted. Nerves were still tingling from Dr. Bishop's recent behavior as well as Allison's presence.

  "Who is that?" Victoria whispered and pointed to the woman standing behind Connor. "She looks like Aunt Allison." She continued to whisper.

  "Um…"

  "Victoria this is Juliet." Connor introduced her. "Juliet this is my beautiful granddaughter Victoria." He leaned down and took Victoria's hand, kissing the back of her hand. She giggled.

  "It's a pleasure to finally meet you Victoria." Juliet squatted down to Victoria's level.

  "Hi." Victoria smiled. "Are you friends with grandpa?"

  "Yes." She smiled warmly and then stood back up next to Connor.

  "It's good to see you again, so grown up." Juliet held out her hand to Dr. Bishop.

  Dr. Bishop hesitated, but then stuck out his hand to hers.

  "A pleasure Juliet," He smiled convincingly, but it was still tense.

  Juliet turned and looked at me.

  "Is this Victoria's moth..?"

  "Nanny," I corrected quickly. I held out my hand. "Sophia. It's nice to meet you."

  "Oh…" She blushed slightly and then took my hand, "Nice to meet you as well."

  "Victoria, why don't we head up to your room and get you ready for bed, okay?" I squatted down next to her and spoke in a low tone.

  "Okay." She turned and ran to Connor. "Night grandpa," She hugged him tightly before running to Dr. Bishop and repeating the process. She spun around to Juliet and smiled to her. "It was nice to meet you. Goodnight." Then she darted for the stairs. I followed her up the steps.

  "You go get some pajamas on and I will meet you in your room after I get changed, okay?"

  She turned at her door and looked at me. "Okay."

  I headed to my dresser and then to my bathroom. Once I had freshened up and changed into some cotton shorts and a t-shirt. When I reached Victoria's door I was met with the sight of Allison at the top of the stairs looking at me, Larissa holding onto her arm.

  "Come on Allison." She ushered her away from the steps.

  Allison's face was a blank stare. It was as if there was nothing there. I furrowed my brow and went in to Victoria. She was ready for bed and putting a DVD in her player.

  "Are we watching a movie?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

  Victoria looked at me sheepishly. "Is that okay?"

  "Of course it is." I shook my head at her silliness. "Come on." I climbed onto her bed and patted the space next to me."

  Over the next couple of days the house was full of people; Juliet, Connor, William, the twins, Larissa, and a homecare nurse. Dinner had become much more of an event, but thankfully Juliet could cook and was willing to help out. Mrs. Baker brought in a helper to assist her with the extra housework as well.

  Dr. Bishop was home, but he was only seen briefly. He was usually in his office, just as before we left on vacation. I had to admit the normality of it made me feel slightly better.

  I had yet to turn in my resignation, but knew I should do it soon. Though, I did hope he already started looking for a replacement, since I already told him of my intentions. The plan was to complete the letter and put it in his office box tonight. Then I would have to talk with Victoria, once a final day was arranged.

  That night I finalized the letter, printed it out, and signed it. It felt like I was walk
ing toward my execution as I padded toward his office door. I stopped at the box and stared at it for a period of time, before I actual put the letter inside and walked away.

  The third day home was a rare day when the sun was shining fully in the sky and it felt like summer. Victoria had wanted to use the pool, so we got dressed in our suits and got comfortable by the pool.

  We both jumped right in and swam around, splashing each other. After a couple of swimming races, William and the twins arrived with Amber and Ryan. The kids all swam together and the three of us lay around the side of the pool catching the uncommon rays of sun. Eventually, William jumped into the pool with Amber and they all started playing around in the pool.

  Grabbing my cell phone, I checked the time. Sitting up I slipped on my flip flops and stood at the edge of the pool in my bikini. "Hey…" I shouted over their playful screaming, garnering their attention. "I'm going to run in and get the hotdogs and stuff for lunch. I'll be right back."

  "Okay." William stated.

  "Do you need help?" Amber asked and moved to the edge of the pool to get out.

  "No, keep swimming. I'll be right back." I headed into the kitchen through the back door.

  The house was definitely cooler than outside and I wished I had slipped on my sundress for more warmth.

  I grabbed the hotdogs from the fridge and then the pitcher of lemonade, setting them all on the counter. Next I grabbed paper plates, a bag of chips, plastic cups, and the buns. Then remembering I would need ketchup and mustard, I leaned back into the fridge. I pulled them out and set them on the counter too. I started to arrange everything on a large tray and into a plastic bag I could carry out to the table.

  "Do you need some help?" I tensed at his voice and then mentally cursed myself for not having Amber help me.

  "Um, I think I have it, but thank you." I said, slipping the plastic bag onto my right arm and pulling the tray onto my arms. I wobbled and the next thing I knew, Dr. Bishop was flush against my back with his hands over mine, stabilizing the tray.

  My body was thrilled at the heat radiating from him, but my brain was screaming at me. Danger, antichrist too close, danger.

  "Thanks. I think I have it now." I swallowed and tried to step forward, but he would not let me move.