The Battle Within

by LaShawn Vasser

  “Franklin thinks he has a mental disorder that will keep him from living a happy and fulfilling life. Once he finds out that he doesn’t have schizophrenia, how long do you think it’ll be before he comes knocking on Sandra’s door? The truth is not going to stay bottled up forever. I wish it could, but time is not on my side; which means, the best alternative is for you to whisk your future bride off to some remote island in never never land, and marry her before the truth is revealed. And, from what I’ve heard about the relationship she has with your mother and sister, and now this nasty incident with Franklin…it might be best. Otherwise, you two may never make it down the aisle.”

  His eyes flashed with an almost uncontrollable rage. He’d entertained this conversation long enough, “Get out!”

  “What? Are you crazy? Did you hear anything I’ve just said?”

  “I heard everything you’ve said. You’re psychotic and need to leave…NOW!”

  Frustrated, April stood as she hissed, “You should be thanking me not throwing me out of your office! I’m warning you…if we don’t do something soon, we may not be able to stop Sandra and Franklin from reconciling.”

  “Get the hell out of my office!”

  On cue, Kate came bursting in looking from April to Roman, “Mr. Benton is there a problem?”

  “Yes. Please show Ms. Linden out.”

  April glared at him for a moment, “I can show myself out.”

  Kate followed her out of Roman’s office until she was on the elevator. She then returned to her desk and called security. “A young woman in a brown two-piece suit just left Mr. Benton’s office. Please make sure she leaves the premises. And, make sure she’s not ever allowed back into this building.”

  *****

  After making the call to security, Kate went back into Roman’s office, “What the hell was that all about?”

  Roman sank into his chair and closed his eyes, “Can you get me a couple of aspirins?”

  “Sure. After you tell me what is going on? You’ve been out of sorts for the past couple of weeks. Who was that woman and what did she want?”

  Roman knew he shouldn’t be confiding in Kate especially about Sandra given that he sometimes wondered if Kate was attracted to him. Maybe Kate was just what he needed, “Can you clear our schedules for the rest of the today. I just want to get out of here. Maybe we can go somewhere quiet and talk.”

  She nodded, “Of course, Roman.”

  *****

  An hour later, sitting at the bar of a hotel with Kate, Roman had probably had more than his fair share of alcohol. While he wasn’t drunk, he was close.

  It felt somewhat like betrayal talking to Kate about Sandy. Why the hell should he care? She’d been screwing Franklin last night. It killed him to think his mother and sister had been right all along.

  Kate made sure to keep her drinking to a minimum. She nursed her one drink as she listened to Roman pour his heart out.

  Roman closed then opened distraught looking eyes, “That woman that came to the office today is the girlfriend of Sandy’s ex. She came to tell me that she’d caught them together last night.”

  Inwardly, Kate was jumping for joy. She couldn’t have planned this any better. Considering, his mother and sister hadn’t been very effective at stopping this train wreck of wedding. However, Roman didn’t need to know that, instead her hand went to her throat in mock surprise, “My God Roman. Caught like how? Having sex?”

  “No! Not sex, but close enough.”

  “Maybe she was lying. Do you believe her?”

  He sighed, “She took pictures.” Roman trusted Kate and needed to get his doubts off of his chest. He just needed to talk to someone. “I know that they dated for a brief time, and it ended. But…”

  Kate rested her hand on top of his as she spoke softly, “But…go on.”

  Hurt was evident in his eyes, “The night I proposed to Sandy, I was on cloud nine that she had accepted my proposal. However, before we could celebrate privately, we ended up in the emergency room. Her best friend went into labor.”

  “That was the night we had those issues with our overseas plant, right?”

  “Yes. If you’ll recall, I was a bit distracted.”

  She nodded. And, she also remembered that he’d told her, he wasn’t sure if Sandra was over an ex.

  “When you called to inform me of the problem, I was at the hospital. But, I left to come into the office right away. However, when I made it to the parking lot, I realized I’d left my keys in the waiting room. When I went back to get them, I came across Sandy and Franklin in a very intimate moment. They were holding each other in a tight embrace confessing how they would never stop loving each other.”

  “My god Roman! That’s why you were so pre-occupied? Did you say anything to them?”

  “No.”

  Kate sat incredulous, “Well, why not?”

  “The scene before me appeared more like a goodbye. Maybe, I just hoped it was a goodbye because I didn’t want to hear the answers to my questions. I love her Kate.”

  It hurt to hear those words from him. Kate tipped his chin up to meet her eyes, “Roman, I know you may not want to hear this, but maybe you should postpone this wedding?”

  He didn’t want to think. He was in too much pain and angry. Roman covered her hand with his as he stared into her eyes, “Maybe what I need is a distraction until I can figure out what I’m going to do?”

  Kate didn’t immediately respond. Were his eyes saying what she thought they were? Her arm tingled as she stared back at him. Was this her chance to finally show Roman what he meant to her? How good they could be together?

  He pulled his hand away, “I’m sorry. I’m being a jerk.”

  “No. No, you’re not. Maybe what we both need is a distraction.”

  He held her gaze for a long time before finally speaking, “Are you sure?”

  She nodded.

  “I’ll go get us a room.”

  *****

  Kate was lying naked in the crook of Roman’s arms with her arm thrown around his waist. She’d been waiting years for this moment and today she’d finally had an opportunity to spend two glorious hours making love to Roman.

  However, to him it was just sex with the wrong woman. He immediately felt guilty. He cared about Kate but not like this. And, he loved Sandy. Could this day get any worse?

  Her leg was thrown over his. Touching his body skin to skin was so delicious, she didn’t ever want to move.

  Roman looked at the clock, “It’s late. I’d better get home.”

  Kate stretched her body against his, “Stay. Stay with me tonight. I mean we have the room at least until noon tomorrow.”

  He whispered into the darkness, “You know I can’t do that.” Roman tried to gently remove her arm from around his waist and disentangle their bodies.

  “Why not?”

  “You know why.”

  “Roman, she cheated on you. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

  “And, I just cheated on her.”

  “It’s not cheating if you’re going to leave her ass!”

  “Who said that? She and I have a lot to work out, but I never told you i was leaving her.”

  “So, you’re playing a game of tit for tat?”

  “Kate…I’m sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.”

  “You’re having doubts. Otherwise, you would have never slept with me. You know she’s having doubts. Don’t you think it’s best to put your relationship on hold until you can at least get it all sorted out?”

  “I don’t have any doubts. We have problems, but I don’t have any doubts.”

  “I’ve always been here for you Roman! I can’t believe that tonight didn’t mean anything? That what we just shared didn’t change anything for you.”

  “Kate, I’m sorry but I love Sandy, and us being together like this was a mistake.” He got out of bed and started looking for his clothes.

  She sat up and pulled the sheet to her body, “Roman
, this is crazy. I’ve loved you for years. You have to know that. And, we were good together tonight. Sandy’s only going to hurt you.”

  He was shocked to hear her proclaim love. Although, Roman suspected she cared for him, he never would have guessed that. He’d made a bad situation worse…dammit.

  “Kate, I’ve got to go home. I’m not ready to give up on my relationship. You are an incredible woman and if things were different…” He ran his hand over his face, “It’s late, or early however you want to look at it, but I need you to get dressed so that I can take you home. I messed up with you…with Sandy but I’m hoping our friendship is strong enough to deal with this.”

  She just stared at him. Was he serious? Did he honestly think he could screw around with her and act like nothing happened? He must be out of his mind.

  Never losing eye contact, Kate angrily threw the covers off of her naked body as she stood in front of him and put on her clothes. He turned his head.

  Yes, she’ll go quietly into the night tonight but only to figure out what her next move was going to be. She loved Roman too much to give up on him.

  Chapter 18

  It was 3:07 AM and Roman still hadn’t come home. Sandy lay on her back looking up at the ceiling unable to sleep. She’d left him a couple of messages, but he hadn’t answered any of them. They hadn’t spoken since that terrible argument the day before. Their wedding was only a two weeks away, yet everything was falling apart.

  How did she allow his mother and sister to drive a wedge between them so easily? She knew what they were up to? She knew that they didn’t want them to get married. Yet, she still fell into the trap.

  Then, there was Franklin. She was finally able to let go of what they’d shared, but the guilt of what almost happened between them still weighed heavily on her.

  If she and Roman even made it to the Alter, Sandy didn’t want to go into their marriage with lies and secrets between them. She was going to have to tell him, “I’m done self-sabotaging this relationship.” She sighed, “I just wish he’d come home so we can talk. I hate this.”

  Finally, she heard the garage door opening. Relief swept over her. A few minutes later the sound of his footsteps began to get closer and closer to their bedroom. She held her breath as he stood silently on the other side of the door.

  He stood there for a moment before it crept open. She watched him move around the room in the darkness.

  Thinking she must be asleep, he tried to quietly to step out of his shoes and put his jacket on a chair.

  “Roman…”

  He stilled at the sound of her voice.

  Sandy sat up, “I’m sorry about yesterday…about everything.”

  With slumped shoulders and a low voice he spoke, “Everything? What exactly is everything?”

  “I’m sorry about all of the arguing and fighting with your mother and…”

  “Do you still love him?”

  “Wha…what? Who?”

  He turned to go take a shower, “You’re obviously not ready to be honest with me.”

  Sandy crawled to the edge of the bed to be closer to him, “No! Wait…I am. I’m ready.”

  “Then answer me because I know you were with him last night. Do you still love him? No more secrets and lies. I just want the truth.”

  Her eyes started to well up, “I’ve made some mistakes, and I was confused until last night.”

  “Then, why did you accept my proposal? And then turn around in the same night and tell Franklin you’d always love him?”

  She stammered, “How…how did you know about that?”

  “I left me keys in the waiting room. When I came back to get them, you and he were too wrapped up in each other to even notice I was standing on the other side of the door.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “WHY DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM?!”

  Sandy’s eyebrows furrowed together, “Roman, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I haven’t slept with Franklin.”

  He would never have thought that she would be this deceitful. The look of anger and frustration was written all over his face, “So, you didn’t sleep with him last night over at Vicky’s? Because what I saw begs to differ?”

  She’d been kneeling at the edge of the bed but then dropped down to sit on her haunches. In a near whisper she spoke, “Wait…were you following me?”

  “Of course not! Unlike you…I completely love you and would have never thought what I saw was possible. It doesn’t matter how I saw it…just that it happened, and I did see it.”

  She stuttered, “I...we…the kiss got out of hand, but you didn’t stay long enough to see it play out until the end.” Sandy took a deep breath, “You want the truth? Okay, here goes... When you proposed, Franklin and I had been over for almost two years. I was out of my mind happy. I thought…finally someone who loves me for me flaws and all. And, I honestly thought I was over him when I accepted your proposal. Otherwise, I never would have agreed to marry you.

  However, the night Vicky went into labor brought up so many feelings. The four of us have been through so much together. We’ll always be friends and only friends. But, that night, I was feeling emotions that I thought were long gone. So, what you saw in the hospital between Franklin and me, was us walking away from each other forever.”

  “Obviously, forever isn’t as long as I thought. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have screwed him last night.”

  Sandy flinched as if he’d physically hit her. She’d also felt like dirt for putting that look of pain in his eyes, “Roman, I promise you that didn’t sleep with him. I stopped it before it got that far because of you.”

  “It never should have even started Sandy! He should never have touched you. You can’t even begin to understand how badly you hurt me. I feel like I’ve been sliced open.”

  Sandy wiped tears from her face and slid out of the bed to eliminate the distance between them, “You’re right. And, I’m so sorry. It shouldn’t have happened, but I didn’t sleep with him. I promise you that it did not get that far. Last night, I walked away from the past so that I could fully embrace my future…with you. I may not have known that I wasn’t ready when you proposed, but I’m fully prepared to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  He searched her eyes for any hint of dishonesty but only saw the truth, “So, you chose me?”

  She gripped his waist and moved closer to him, “No. I chose…us.” Then, she pressed her lips against his. After a moment, he kissed her back. They lingered together holding each other before he pulled back.

  He was angry with himself, “You’re impossible and you make me crazy but god, I love you.” He closed his eyes and touched her forehead to his, “It’s been a long day…I need to grab a quick shower before I come to bed.” He exhaled, “I’m feeling a bit dirty.” Then, he kissed her forehead as he quickly turned to go into the bathroom.

  However, he wasn’t quick enough for Sandy not to miss the smell of another woman on his body.

  “Roman…are we okay? Since we’re being honest, is there anything about today or anything else that I should know about?”

  He hated lying to her but gave her a lop-sided grin, “I think for the first time…we might actually be better than okay.”

  “So, no secrets and lies between us?”

  The guilt weighed heavily upon him, but he felt it best to keep what happened between him and Kate a secret. “Not unless there is something else you need to say?”

  “I’m an open book…now.”

  “Then, no. There are no more secrets and lies between us. Let me get in this shower so I can come to bed and hold you.”

  Sandy slowly walked back over to the bed and got back underneath the covers as Roman disappeared into the bathroom. At the sound of the shower, she couldn’t help but have a flashback of when Joshua would wash off the stench of other women he’d had sex with, when he’d come over to her place.

  No! She had to let the ghosts of her past go. Roman wasn’t Josh
ua. Roman wasn’t Franklin. Roman wasn’t perfect, but he was the perfect man for her. He’d never cheat on her. She needed to stop letting her mind play tricks on her.

  Chapter 19

  Vicky came rushing out of the bathroom while putting on a pair of diamond studded earrings Jason had given her as a present for the birth of Jay. She was running late…again.

  Tonight, she was going out with Sandy and Andrea. It had been so long, there was no use in trying to remember the last time she’d had a girl’s night out. Andrea planned this outing for Sandy as a quasi-bachelorette party and had only given her instructions to wear something short, tight, and hot.

  Her initial thought was Jason’s really going to love that. But, he was a lot more reasonable when she told him about going out with the girls than she’d expected…until tonight.

  Vicky peered into the floor length mirror while muttering to herself, “Thank god…black makes everything look smaller.” Then, she turned around to see how the curve-hugging dress appeared from behind.

  Tilting her head to the side after turning back around, she studied the dress from the front. She’d just given birth less than two months ago. Considering that, Vicky thought she looked pretty respectable as she ran her hand slowly down her body. Most of the swelling from her stomach was gone, her hips were still a little wider than she’d like, but all in all she didn’t look too bad.

  However, there was one thing she wasn’t going to complain about, and that was the fullness of her breasts. She wished those would stay as long as possible since Jason couldn’t seem to get enough of them.

  She caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. Speaking of the devil, he had been leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded, watching her.

  Her eyes connected to his through the mirror, “How long have you been standing there?”

  Jason pushed himself off of the door frame and slowly walked over to stand behind her. Neither of their eyes broke contact as they continued to stare at each other through the mirror. He pulled her back into the front of his rock hard body. Then, wrapped his strong arms around her waist. The warmth of his breath, as his mouth hovered around her ear, produced a sweet tingle between her thighs.