The Battle Within

by LaShawn Vasser

  Franklin stared at Jason for a while before confessing his truth, “I’m schizophrenic.”

  Jason’s coffee cup almost dropped out of his hands, “What? Tell me that’s a bad joke.”

  He looked down into his cup as he ran his finger around the rim, “I wish it were but it’s not. I’ve been going through periods of relapse and remissions. Meaning, I go through periods where everything seems fine, and then I have the symptoms again. However, my remissions are starting to get shorter and shorter.” His voice was tight, “I love Sandy. So, you can understand why I won’t burden her with my illness. I’m not even sure how much longer I’ll be…the Franklin that you know.”

  It took a moment for Jason to process what he’d just heard, “How long? How long have you known about this?” Then, it dawned on him, “Two years. You’ve known about this for two years and didn’t tell me? Why?” Jason lashed out, more out anger at the situation than actually being angry at Franklin, “We’re brothers for god’s sake!”

  “I needed time to make sure my diagnosis was correct. Then, I needed time to deal with this on my own.”

  Jason was frantic, “We’ll get you the best doctors, Franklin. In this day and age, there has to have been progress in this disease.

  Franklin spoke calmly, “Jason…I’ve had multiple opinions with the same diagnosis. I…am…schizophrenic, and there is no cure.”

  Jason was so frustrated he wanted to hit something. This was Franklin? Franklin! “Who else knows?”

  “Just you…and April. And, for now, I’d like to keep it that way. But, we should start looking for a replacement for me at CkR.”

  CkR…Jason didn’t give a damn about that right now, “April? She knew, and I didn’t? I swear I don’t understand you.”

  “April has no idea that I’m schizophrenic, but she is aware that I have a degenerative illness. We have an understanding, and I know it’s selfish of me but…I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

  “As long as I’m alive…you’ll never be alone.” Jason exhaled loudly, “But you know that this is all kinds of messed up. She hurt you but she’s the one you turned to during this crisis. I understand not wanting to be alone, but that’s almost as crazy as this disease.”

  Jason had Vicky. But, for now, Franklin knew Jason would never understand how isolated he’d felt.

  “I don’t know; maybe I owe her an apology. It’s pretty impressive given the circumstances that she wants to get married and build a life with you.”

  “I’m not sure she fully understands the magnitude of what a lifetime with me would look like.”

  “Wait…isn’t her father, some famous doctor specializing in mental illnesses? I would think she would understand more than most.”

  “He is a genius in this field. And, when the time was right, I plan to work with her father.”

  “A lot of women would run for the hills, I’ll give April credit for sticking around. Again, maybe I need to rethink my judgment of her.”

  Franklin was happy to hear that, “Now you see what I’ve always seen. She’s a good person. With that said, up until the bathroom incident a few weeks ago, my symptoms haven’t been very obvious. It’s been mainly insomnia, loss of energy and focus, different sounds causing what feels like panic attacks, but I’m feeling like they are starting to manifest themselves a little more. The medications I’ve been taking so far have kept them to a minimum. I’m just tired all the time.”

  “I think you should take a leave of absence from work…”

  Franklin interrupted him, “No, Jason. I have to work. It helps me stay sane. For right now…I don’t need any more change in my life. I know you can understand that right?”

  Reluctantly, Jason nodded, “Yes, I do. But, I’m here for whatever you need. Just say the word.”

  “Thanks.”

  Chapter 16

  April was sitting in her office with her elbows up on her desk and her face resting in her hands. Flashes of Franklin with Sandra kept replaying over and over again in her mind.

  She was so angry with him. It was almost impossible to look him in the face when they’d gone out to dinner the next day. And, of course, he behaved as if nothing had happened. Well, that’s not entirely the case. He was overly attentive. Why did men always think flowers could assuage their guilt?

  However, she was going to keep her powder dry until the time was right. There were only a couple more weeks until Sandra Catchings wedding. However, it might be a good idea to pay her fiancé a visit just to make sure there was indeed a wedding.

  Today, her feelings of frustration were overwhelming. Franklin’s stubbornness was starting to take its toll. Yes, he’s guilty but not guilty enough to propose. He’d never been this difficult to influence and she bet it was all because of that woman.

  As she thought about the craziness of her life over the last couple of years, she couldn’t help but wonder was Franklin worth all of this…all that she had done?

  At this point did it matter? She’d sacrificed and invested way too much into this relationship.

  However, if she could just push him into the right direction, hit his sweet spot, maybe he would reconsider his stance on marriage. Maybe she should stop taking her birth control. April couldn’t help but wonder how he would react if she told him she was having his baby? That would force his hand.

  Just thinking about getting pregnant was enough to trigger memories from the last time she’d run this scenario through her mind. It worked. Only he’d never been aware that her plan had been successful. Then two and a half years ago, like a sucker punch to the gut, Leslie gave her the devastating news, and she’d never told him. April couldn’t keep her memories at bay.

  April lay outstretched in bed looking up at the ceiling. It had been a little over a week since Leslie shattered her dreams. And, it had taken just that long to implement her plan.

  That morning, she’d made a life altering decision. Her body was still aching from the termination of her and Franklin’s pregnancy. Taking that step had been much harder than she’d ever anticipated, but she was relieved that it was finally over.

  How could she have had a child with a schizophrenic? She would be condemning herself and that child to a lifetime of hell. What if the child developed the disease? No one could blame her for the decisions she made since they weren’t standing in her shoes. She wasn’t going to be a laughingstock either.

  Wouldn’t that have been ironic…her father, the Nobel Laureate and well-renowned Psychiatrist, and his first grandchild, born with that disease.

  While the exact cause of schizophrenia was still unknown, all the research showed that having a history of family psychosis would significantly increase the risks.

  What would her colleagues think? No, this was the best decision for everyone.

  Tonight, she was going to tell Franklin, the relationship was over.

  The soft knock on April’s door brought her back to the present. She felt the beginnings of a massive headache, “It’s open.”

  Leslie popped her head inside, “Hey…you’ve got a minute to talk?”

  April stood as she checked her watch. There was nothing on her schedule for another hour, “Yeah, I’ve got a bit of time.”

  Leslie came inside and closed the door behind her, “We’ve got a problem?”

  “What do you mean? About what?”

  “Franklin.”

  They both sat down.

  “What about Franklin?”

  “One of the doctors that I referred Franklin to for his second and third opinions has decided he wants to clear his conscience and come clean.”

  “Wha…why? When I gave you the names of those doctors from my father’s database they seemed easily enough to control. Both of them were on the verge of losing their licenses until I was able to get into the system using my father’s pass code to clean-up their records. So, why the come to jesus moment?”

  “Well, Dr. Nichols was a drug addict.”

  “Yeah,
I know…that’s why I chose him.”

  “He’s been to rehab and wants to make amends for past mistakes.”

  April was pensive, “Well, obviously that can’t happen. Doesn’t he have a daughter from his previous marriage?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then, maybe we can threaten him with losing custody and jail for breaking the law.”

  Leslie appeared skeptical, “That could work…”

  “Try that and let me know how it goes.”

  “Me? Why me?”

  “Because he has no idea who I am. You were the one who gave him the original offer.”

  “April, this has gotten way out of hand. This started out as you asking me to wait a few weeks before I told Franklin about his condition. We’ve broken so many laws that not only can we lose our licenses, we could go to JAIL!”

  Forcefully, April stood, “Lower your voice! These walls aren’t that thick. Yes, we could go to jail and if we don’t figure out a way to shut Dr. Nichols up…we could still go to jail.” April narrowed her eyes, “Don’t you forget that you’re now the head of the Psychiatric Unit at this hospital because of my influence with my father. You owe me!”

  “April, Franklin doesn’t even have Schizophrenia! You know he was misdiagnosed. We made those doctors LIE! Can you not see how if we keep going with this it’s going to blow up in our faces?”

  “Leslie, I terminated a pregnancy and called off a wedding because you got his tests results mixed up with someone else’s! It was more than six months before you even figured it out.”

  “Don’t you dare blame me for your choices! You ran like a bat out of hell to abort that child who could have been normal. What was it…a week after I told you? You didn’t even have any genetic testing done!

  To make matters worse, you’re the one who kept asking me to wait before I told him about his illness. You kept pushing it off and pushing it off for over six months because of how you thought it would make you look once people found out about his disease. What was it you said, you didn’t want people to believe you dumped him because he had schizophrenia. That you wanted to allow some time in-between the news of your breakup to settle before his diagnosis was made public. I waited because you asked me to.”

  “I don’t need you throwing that back up into my face, Leslie. How the hell was I supposed to know that he would start dating someone else during that time? So quickly after calling off our engagement.”

  ”If he’d already begun another relationship so soon after your breakup, then maybe you shouldn’t have been getting married in the first place!”

  “I don’t need counseling from you. None of this would even be happening if you would have done your job right the first time.”

  “You’ve got a lot of nerve, April! I told you as soon as I found out about the mix-up.”

  “By that time you told Franklin about the disease he had been dating her for months!”

  “Again, whose fault is it that that this stupid little plan didn’t line up exactly correctly? When I told him about the schizophrenia, I still thought he’d had it. I should have told him about the misdiagnosis as soon as I found out.”

  “But, you didn’t because you had too much to lose.”

  “No, I didn’t because we were friends, and you keep holding this entire fiasco over my head. We should just tell him, April. We can still claim it was a misdiagnosis.”

  “How? Two other doctors have confirmed your results. Anyway, at the time, I still needed him to have the disease so that he would end things with her. Franklin is nothing if not predictable. I knew he’d come back to me. He always relies on the familiar when he’s in a crisis.”

  “Yet, you’ve been back together now for over two years, and he still hasn’t proposed. What I don’t understand is why you don’t want him to know the truth? Maybe, if he knew he could still have a full life, he’d propose.”

  “I needed time to rebuild our relationship. Time for him to learn to depend on me again and possibly fall in love with me again. And, for him to get over that fling he had while we were broken up.”

  “Have you accomplished any of that in all this time? Again, it’s been a little over two years since he’s known about his disease and a little over two and half years since this whole mess started.”

  “He’ll marry me once he knows the truth. But, I’m not taking any chances.” An image of him kissing Sandy’s body flashed through her mind, “You can tell him when Sandra Catchings is completely off limits.”

  “So, the answer is no, if you’re still concerned about her.”

  April pressed her lips into a firm line. Leslie was getting wobbly knees, and she would have to figure something out about that. In the meantime, she had to keep her head and not get too angry. There was way more to lose now other than just Franklin. “The bottom line is we have to see this through. If Dr. Nichols tells Franklin that he doesn’t have Schizophrenia before Sandy gets married, it could blow up everything I’ve worked so hard for over these last couple of years. But, if he gets all true confessions on us and tells him that he never had it and what he’s actually suffering from is PTSD…that’s a much bigger problem.

  Franklin can be like a dog with a bone. He’ll trace it back to us. So, if we can hold on a couple more weeks this nightmare will finally be over.”

  Leslie was doubtful of that. There were just too many loose ends that needed to be tied up. It wouldn’t take much if anyone were to start poking around to find a trail that would lead straight back to them. She hadn’t signed up for all of this and wasn’t especially fond of going to jail over someone else’s relationship. She’ll give April two more weeks to get everything in order. Then after that, she was going to tell Franklin about the misdiagnosis herself. “I’ll see what I can do about Dr. Nichols but once this is done April…it’s done. I’m finished.”

  Chapter 17

  April was a few minutes early for this hastily scheduled appointment, so she sat patiently in one of the plush leather chairs reading a financial newspaper.

  She cleared her schedule for the rest of the afternoon considering it took some finagling to get on his calendar. April didn’t want anything to disrupt this meeting. It had to be successful because her future depended on it.

  The office was quiet save for the administrative assistant typing on her computer. She’d already informed her boss of her arrival.

  After a few minutes, the assistant’s phone rang. She answered and looked in April’s direction. Once she hung up, the assistant stood, “Ms. Linden? Mr. Benton can see you now.”

  Kate walked April over and opened the door for her, “Mr. Benton…this is April Linden.”

  Roman stood and walked towards April with an outstretched hand. April accepted it for a handshake.

  “Mr. Benton.”

  Kate was more than curious to know what this visit was all about. However, she kept her face blank as she walked out of the office, closing the door behind her. Roman would fill her in later.

  Roman motioned for her to sit, “Ms. Linden, please have a seat.”

  April looked around his office as she sat, “Thank you.” She couldn’t help thinking that Sandra Catchings definitely knew how to pick them. Roman wasn’t her type, black men usually weren’t, but there was no denying his wealth and that he was a very handsome man.

  Roman broke into her thoughts as he went to sit at his desk, “What do I owe the pleasure of this visit? You mentioned it had something to do with the Linden Foundation?”

  “I’m sorry, but that wasn’t entirely true.” April moved to the edge of her seat, “I’m here because I think you and I have a mutual interest that is of utmost important to both of us. That common interest is your fiancé, Sandra.”

  He narrowed his eyes, “Ms. Linden, I don’t discuss my personal life, but I can assure you that there is nothing you could say that would be of interest to me about my fiancé.” He stood, “This meeting is over.”

  April didn’t move. She remained perched
on her chair, “Franklin Roth. Does that name ring any bells? If it doesn’t, it should.”

  Roman froze in place. And, knowing he should throw April out of his office, his curiosity got the better of him.

  “Interesting. I can see from the set of your jaw, the name definitely rings a bell.”

  He slowly sat back down and leaned back into his chair. Roman pierced her with his gaze. He spoke slowly, “I’m familiar with him, yes.”

  “Franklin and I have been in a long-term committed relationship for several years. As a matter of fact, we were engaged until I broke it off…”

  Agitated he rubbed his chin, “Is there a point to this?”

  “I would say…if you want your wedding day to go off without a hitch in the next couple of weeks, you might be interested in joining forces with me.”

  Roman stood, “This is nonsense. I’ve entertained this conversation long enough.”

  “Was it nonsense when I caught them having sex last night?”

  “That’s a lie. I don’t believe that.”

  “Really? Would you like to see proof?”

  His mouth suddenly felt like cotton as April stood up, leaned over his desk, and showed him the pictures she’d taken with her camera phone.

  He appeared hurt, but not surprised.

  “What…you’re not surprised? No, she would never do anything like that to me? Of course not, because you know just like I do, that for whatever reason those two have some weird connection. I want to sever it once and for all.”

  Roman’s voice came out rough, “Those pictures aren’t very clear. But, IF I believed that it was Sandy in them, and that’s a big IF Ms. Linden, what are you suggesting?”

  “I’m suggesting we need to put whatever is brewing between them on ice. I’ve done my part over the last couple of years.”

  “And just how have you done that?”