Playing the Game

by JL Paul

  “It’s fine, Aubrey,” he whispered.

  Jess grabbed Gary Lester by the lapel and threw him against his car. “Is there some sort of video, man?”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” Gary stammered. His wide, frightened eyes fell on me as the blood drained from his face.

  “I know you and your sick friends got Aubrey drunk and recorded it. I want the tape.” Jess’s face was twisted in wild anger. I feared a security guard would intercede and call the police.

  Gary trembled visibly as his hand twitched. Finally, he reached for the bag he’d dropped on the ground. Jess released him long enough to allow Gary to retrieve a DVD in a blue jewel case. His hands shook as he handed it to Jess. Jess, in turn, handed it to Derrick who dropped it on the ground, crushing it with his heel. Jess grabbed Gary’s lapel again and slammed him against the car.

  “You will leave Aubrey alone, do you got me?” His tone was low and highly dangerous. His gray eyes glinted pure hatred. “You will not touch her again. I saw the bruises you left and if you ever lay a finger on her, I’ll make sure you never sing, dance, yodel or whatever.”

  Gary nodded enthusiastically.

  “You won’t speak to her unless it’s totally necessary. Got it?”

  Again, Gary nodded.

  “I don’t want to have to have this conversation again. I won’t be so nice next time.” He released Gary, watching as the other man grabbed his bag and fled to the building.

  When Troy released me, I put a hand on the fender of my car to steady my own trembling legs. I was numb from head to toe. “Kendra told you guys, didn’t she?”

  “Yeah,” Troy growled. “She told us everything.”

  I didn’t know if I should feel angry or touched.

  Jess and Derrick picked up all the pieces of the DVD and dropped them in a nearby trash can. When they finished, Troy ruffled my hair with a smile and headed back to his car with Derrick. Jess stopped in front of me, arms folded across his chest.

  “You shouldn’t have done that,” I whispered.

  “I should have done a lot more,” he said. The anger was slowly leaving his eyes. “I gotta go. We have a game today and even though I’m on the DL, I still have to be there. I’ll call you after the show.”

  I raised a confused brow. Why would he want to do that? Hadn't I crossed the line when I'd uttered those dratted words? Wasn’t he regretting what we’d done?

  Tucking my hair behind my ear, he leaned in close to whisper. “I never said I didn’t love you, Aubrey.”

  He kissed my cheek, gave me a wink, and sauntered off to join his friends. I stood, hand still on the fender, seething. Why did he have to do these things to me?

  ***

  Gary avoided me the entire time we rehearsed and later that night as we prepared for the show. I didn’t pay much attention to him, however, as my mind was a mixed cocktail consisting of Gwen’s attitude and Jess’s declaration. I tried very hard to focus on the show as I donned my comfortable jeans and button up shirt – it was country music night after all.

  As I took the stage, I ignored Marissa and Richard both. I didn’t want to see their reactions to my guitar. Taking a seat on the stool, I tried to concentrate on the music. My swirling emotions came through as I belted out the words to a ballad I actually loved. I saw Gwen’s pale, tired face and heard Jess’s confusing words as I sang.

  When I finished, I sort of sat there like an idiot in one of those music videos. The cheering crowd, standing on their feet, brought me back to reality and I stood also to face the judges. Their brief comments tonight wouldn’t be nearly as bad as the long, drawn out commentaries I’d have to face tomorrow but it still was enough to strike me rigid.

  Stephen Cashmain loved the guitar. I smiled wryly. I knew he would, being a guitar player himself. Sweet Chelsea was in tears and Big D was a little choked up also.

  Then I turned to Marissa. She pursed her lips as she regarded me. “That was ten times better than you’ve been the entire season. I actually thought you were singing to your grandfather. Now if only you can put that much emotion and feeling into the faster numbers, you’ll really impress me.”

  I gave her a tight smile as I looked at Richard. He nodded. “I like that you can play the guitar. Too many contestants get by on voice talent alone. That bodes well in your favor. And you did make the song your own this time. Keep it up.”

  The smile I gave him was a little more genuine. I scampered off to the dressing room, heart a little lighter. Only a few weeks left and the whole ordeal would be over. But it was going to get tougher. Up until this point, the audience had no say in who stayed and who left; that was entirely up to the judges. But the final two weeks of the show, audience opinion would be factored in with the judges’ opinions. I was going to have to ‘wow’ them all.

  ***

  I paced my bedroom as I waited for Jess to call. I hoped he had a long explanation for the words he’d uttered to me this morning for I had no clue what to say. Did he mean he loved me? Were we a couple? I didn’t know what to think. And my head was tired of all the confusion and mixed emotions. How I longed for a normal, boring life.

  The phone rang and shook me out of my stupor. I answered with unsteady hands.

  “You were positively amazing, Aubrey,” Jess stated. “I’m very proud of you.”

  “Thanks,” I muttered. “You watched?”

  “Yeah. We had a day game so I got home in time.” He was silent for a moment. “I always watch when I can.”

  “Oh, Jess,” I cried, sliding to the floor. “Why do you do this to me?”

  “Do what?” he asked. “I gave you a compliment. Do you want me to insult you instead?”

  “No,” I whined. “You confuse me. You say one thing and act another way. I don’t know what is going on half the time. All the time!”

  He chuckled and the itch to smack him returned. “Welcome to my world, sweetheart.”

  “What do you mean? You can’t be confused. You’re far too confident.”

  “Maybe,” he admitted. “But I told you before I don’t know what to do with you. I still haven’t figured that out yet.”

  “But what you said this morning…” I trailed off, not sure if I should have even mentioned it.

  “That I never said I didn’t love you? Of course I still love you, Aubrey. I always have. Didn’t I tell you in school I’d love you forever?”

  Yes he had. I remembered it clearly. And I’d believed him. I’d believed him even when half the school whispered behind our backs how he’d leave me first chance he got. They were right, of course. But now what?

  “Listen to me, Aubrey. Tomorrow is our travel day and I’m going with the team. My PT has been going well and so have my throwing sessions. I’m hoping to pitch while we’re on this road trip. But, I’ll think about things while I’m gone and I want you to do the same. Okay?”

  He sounded serious. Of course he usually was. A glimmer of hope flickered in my heart. “Okay.”

  “Be good and stay away from the wild parties. Do something to piss your mom off while I’m away, huh?”

  I laughed through the tears I hadn’t realized I was crying. “I’ll try.”

  “Good,” he snorted. “I’ll call you when I can.”

  And he hung up before I could utter another word.

  I headed to the shower in order to wash away the day. As the spray fell on my face, my heart gave a little leap. Jess still loved me. That didn’t mean much, however, if we couldn’t be together. But he said he would think about things. Maybe he had a change of heart.

  My spirits cooed happily as I crawled into bed. I knew I shouldn’t get my hopes up but I couldn’t help it. Maybe things would work out. Somehow.

  Chapter Ten

  Walking listlessly, I stopped every now and then to peer into a store window. I should have figured it would be a bad, bad idea to venture downtown on a busy Saturday. I endured many curious looks and whispers as well as strangers stopping to wish me luck on the
show. I sort of missed the days when I was a nobody in this city; just another lonely shopper on a Saturday afternoon.

  And lonely I was. Thursday’s show had gone well, at least, as Richard and Marissa didn’t have much to pick on me about. But everything had gone downhill from there. My attempt to barge in on Gwen had been thwarted when she brushed me off, claiming to not feel well. I had been prepared to ignore her protests and demand that we talk, but the circles under her eyes and her flushed skin had been enough to convince me to let her rest. I'd given her a quick kiss and a hug, hoping that would be enough to convey that I loved her and was worried. She'd promised to call me when she felt better.

  So I'd called Kendra in hopes of having her over to meet my mother and maybe finding something to do. I was disappointed, once again, when she answered her cell, informing me that she was traveling with Troy this week.

  That left me with nothing to do; nothing to keep my mind busy and make the time go by faster. I was supposed to be thinking about things but my mind was already made up. I loved Jess and I’d do whatever I needed to do in order to make things work.

  I had a couple of weeks left of the show before the finale – which happened to fall on the MVP break. I was hoping to convince Jess to come, if I made it that far. His chances for making the MVP team where slim because of his shoulder problems and short stint on the DL. Still, for his sake, I did hope he’d make it, even if it meant he couldn’t come to the finale.

  Pausing in front of a hair salon, I gazed at the pictures in the window. The models all looked so incredibly happy with their new hairdos. One of them had her hair styled the way I’d always wanted mine. I scooped up my hair and hung it over my shoulder. It’d grown longer this spring, falling past the middle of my back. My mother loved it and nearly had a heart attack when I'd mentioned getting it cut. I stared at the picture of the girl with the stylish do. I grinned, remembering Jess’s orders.

  Do something to piss your mom off for me.

  My grin widened at the sign announcing walk-ins were welcome and I pushed open the door.

  ***

  I had a slight spring in my step as I left the salon an hour or so later. My hair bounced off my shoulders happily. The stylist had been a little surprised when I told her what I wanted but was positively cooing by the time we were finished.

  Yeah, my mom was going to have a fit.

  My once long locks now reached my shoulders – all one length – and curled slightly under sort of like a bob. But the kicker was the highlights - the purple highlights that went remarkably well with my dark hair color.

  I nearly ran to my car.

  ***

  “Aubrey Rose!” my mother gasped when I walked through the door.

  Wincing, I steeled my spine. My dad looked up from his recliner and his eyes grew to the size of basketballs. Once his initial shock wore off, a tiny smirk curled his lips.

  “Do you like it, Mom?” I asked, amazed at how calm my voice sounded. “I wanted something different.”

  “Your beautiful hair!” she cried, circling me like a vulture, picking up the ends and dropping them in disgust. “Why would you do this?”

  “It’s my hair and I was tired of it. I wanted something new,” I shrugged. Good. I sounded confident. Maybe I was growing a backbone.

  “Oh, this is going to ruin your chances on the show, I just know it!”

  “Oh, Susan, calm down,” my dad barked. “They judge her on her voice, not her hair. If she wants purple hair, so be it. She’s not a child.”

  I winked at him, smiling widely. He returned the wink and turned his attention back to the game. I’d forgotten the Racers were playing. I plopped down on the sofa.

  “What’s the score?”

  “Five to four,” he said, crease in his forehead. “Racers are up.”

  Nodding, I watched as Troy Neal fielded a ball and threw it to first. Jess wasn’t pitching – he was still on the DL – and I hoped the camera would take a quick peek in the dugout so I could maybe see him.

  “How can you worry about baseball when we have to deal with your hair?” my mother exclaimed. My dad and I both looked at her as if she was mad.

  “There’s nothing you can do about it now,” I said. I settled back into the sofa so I could watch the game.

  “Where did this attitude come from?” my mother demanded in an angry voice. “From your sister? She’d do anything to turn you against me. Before you know it, she’ll have you moving in with some man just like she did.”

  My heart flipped at the idea of living with Jess.

  Easy, the voice in my head cautioned. You don’t even know if he wants you for more than a bed partner yet.

  “Gwen has nothing to do with my attitude or my hair. Please, leave her out of this.”

  “Oh, I should call her right now,” my mother threatened.

  Leaping to my feet, I raced to the phone. “No, leave her alone. She’s been sick lately and she needs to rest.”

  “She’s been sick?” my dad asked, turning in his recliner to look at me. “What’s the matter with her?”

  “Just a stomach bug. I went to see her Friday and she was feeling much better,” I assured him. I didn’t want to raise suspicion but I didn’t want my mother pestering her either.

  My father nodded and focused on the game.

  My mother stood with her hands on her hips, appraising me like someone she didn’t know. “This is unacceptable, Aubrey Rose. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately.”

  I opened my mouth to speak but stopped when I heard Jess’s name mentioned on the television. I hurried to my dad’s side in time to catch a quick glimpse of him in the dugout.

  “What did they say about Jess?” I asked my father.

  Without looking at me, he answered calmly. “They just said he’ll be off the DL soon and they expect him to be back in the rotation next week.”

  “Jess? Jess who?” my mother asked. She’d managed to walk across the room still holding her angry stance. She was a woman of many talents. “Not that awful Jess Rivers you used to date in high school?”

  “The very one,” my dad answered. “He’s been pitching for the Racers the last few years.”

  I stared at the television to avoid the burning glare I knew my mother had fixed on me.

  “Have you been seeing him again?”

  My dad tugged my sleeve and I dropped to the arm of his chair. I knew he was giving me his support. Dad had always liked Jess.

  “I’ve talked to him a few times,” I said nonchalantly. “It’s not a big deal.”

  She groaned in frustration and took the phone from my hands. “I need to call my hairdresser and see what she can do about your hair.”

  “Good luck,” I called cheerfully. A shock of guilt jolted my heart but I ignored it when my dad snickered. Once she left the room I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and concentrated on the game.

  During a commercial, without sparing me a glance, he spoke. “Are you seeing Jess Rivers again?”

  I panicked. “Um, I have seen him a couple times.”

  “Well, it is time you lived your own life. Just don’t lie to your mother – it’s disrespectful. I know she doesn’t like him for some reason, but that’s no reason to be deceitful.”

  Nodding, I kissed the top of his head. “I know. I’m going upstairs.”

  I turned on my TV and dropped to my bed, rolling on my stomach. My eyes were focused on the screen but my mind was elsewhere.

  My mother would have a fit – a humungous fit – if I was to tell her of my ‘relationship’ with Jess. My dad did have a point about lying to my mom but I wasn’t ready to tell her anything yet. I snorted. What was there to tell, anyway? I was more than certain she wouldn’t want to hear about my escapades with him last weekend. But my dad was right – it was time to live my life.

  Slipping off the bed, I walked in the bathroom to study my new hair. My heart jumped as I shook my head, watching the tresses fall back into place. I’d taken a
tiny step today. Hopefully that would lead to more.

  ***

  Jess called that night and I was thrilled to hear his voice. He asked what I’d been up to and I told him I’d succeeded in angering my mother. His rich laugh drove my internal organs into a frenzy.

  “What did you do?” he asked.

  “You’ll have to wait and see,” I responded, trying to be coy.

  “Will I like it?”

  I froze. Would he? Would he miss my long hair? Would he think the highlights were stupid and juvenile? He’d never once commented on my hair before.

  “I’m not sure,” I muttered.

  “I bet I will.” He sounded confident, as usual. “I gotta go. I’ll be home next Monday and I’ll see you then. Talk to you later.”

  And he hung up. But instead of the irritation I usually felt when he did this, I laughed. One of these days I’d get the upper hand on him.

  ***

  My mother refused to accompany me Wednesday night to the studio. She was still pouting because I wouldn’t let her take me to her hairdresser to recolor my hair. It was a small battle but I was still triumphant.

  Samantha had rolled her eyes at me earlier that day when I'd shown up with my new style. I ignored her as Gary continued to do to me.

  This was the last regular week of the show. Next week we’d be down to the final five. We would perform on Wednesday and be cut down to three by the end of the show. Thursday, the final contestants would battle it out and the audience, as well as the judges, would decide who was the new American Star.

  Although my mother was angry with me, she still influenced my clothing and music choices. The theme this week was summer and the Beach Boys. I couldn’t hold back my eye roll as I dressed in white capris and a light summer blouse. I managed to smuggle matching flip flops, much to my delight.

  I sang the boring “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” while Samantha shimmied her way through “Fun Fun Fun.”

  Richard and Marissa passed us both, but I didn’t receive as much enthusiasm as I had the previous week. Marissa did love my hair and that only enhanced my mother’s sulk.