Choices

by Sydney Lane

  “Jenna! You made me beautiful!” I am still staring in wide-eyed amazement.

  “No, Quince, you were already beautiful. I just dressed you up. Now, we’re going to knock ‘em dead!” She has something up her sleeve, and Eric isn’t going to know what hit him.

  When we walk into the house, it is already crowded. Several guys greet us, and I find that I’m finally feeling comfortable here. The music and dancing lifts my mood and I am ready to have fun.

  We find Eric and Declan in the kitchen talking to a few other guys while they pour drinks. We join them, and I am happy when Declan hands me a bottle of water. He looks great in shorts and a polo shirt. He really does have nice legs, long and tan. He hasn’t shaved today, making him look ruggedly handsome. His easy smile and dimples make him irresistible.

  “Wow! You look amazing, Quincy!” He slips an arm around my waist and pulls me to him for a quick hug. He presses his lips quickly to the top of my head, and my heart skips a beat. It’s a very boyfriend thing do to.

  “Well, thanks! It’s all Jenna’s handiwork. I let her play dress-up with me tonight.” I really do feel good about myself, and I’m trying to embrace this newfound confidence.

  At that exact moment, while I’m smiling up at Declan, Brody walks through the backdoor. Reaching behind him, he pulls the girl from Player’s through the doorway behind him. Suddenly, it’s as if we are the only people in the room. Voices fade, and all I can hear is the sound of my own heartbreak. Brody’s eyes flash with something when he sees me. Anger? Defiance? I can’t tell. Looking away, he guides her through the crowd. My chest tightens, and my throat constricts. It feels as if someone has kicked me in the stomach, and tears threaten to spill over. I’m not sure if it’s out of hurt or anger. Probably both, but at this moment, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting rid of her.

  “Right, Quincy?” Declan’s voice interrupts my internal struggle. I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about. I nod my head in response, but I cannot take my eyes off Brody and the girl. He stops to talk to someone, introducing her to his friends. I can’t hear what he says, but I have the sudden urge to throw a childish tantrum, to claim my man and rip her hair out. Jealousy is proving to be a worthy opponent, and I am losing the battle.

  “Quincy. Hey, are you alright?” Declan is trying to get my attention. I tear my eyes from Brody. Shaking my head, I try to erase what I just saw.

  “Yeah, umm…. Yeah. I just got lost for a minute.” I take a few deep breaths. I’m fighting my own body as I will myself to gain some control. “So, ummm… what were you saying?”

  Declan scans the room, and his eyes rest on Brody. “Oh, great. I’ll never get any sleep tonight. She’s the loud one.” I turn and watch as they walk out of the room. A sick feeling settles in my stomach, and I think I may throw up.

  I am saved from having to respond when I see Jenna weaving her way through the crowd toward me. She has a worried look on her face, and I know she has seen Brody. I’m so relieved to see her that I push my way to her. “Have you seen them?” She asks.

  I only nod in response. Taking my hand, she pulls me through the crowd to the nearest bathroom. We squeeze inside, and I still can’t speak. “Shit, shit, shit! I’m going to kill that boy. Are you OK, Quince?”

  My entire body begins to shake, and I feel tears gathering behind my eyes with such force my head aches. Each breath is a struggle, and I gulp for air. “Slow down, Quince. One breath at a time.” She coaches me as my breathing normalizes, and I am embarrassed. I have never lost it in front of anyone, not even my best friend.

  “Did you see her? Jenna, she’s beautiful. She’s everything I’m not, and he’s obviously sleeping with her. I should have known he would never want a girl like me.” I wish I could undo it all. “I’m so stupid!” Stupid, stupid girl.

  Jenna takes me by the shoulders and leans down to look me in the eyes. “Quincy Priest, how many times do I have to tell you? You are beautiful. You are unlike anyone I’ve ever met. And listen to me. That ho has nothing on you. You hear me? Nothing.” Turning me toward the mirror, she says, “Before you go talk to him, you need to work it out with this girl right here.”

  I look at my reflection. I am pale, but otherwise, I look just the same. Jenna made me beautiful, but I’m not feeling so beautiful on the inside. “I slept with him, Jenna. I knew he didn’t want anything more. I should have expected this.”

  “Don’t be crazy, girl. Don’t you see? That boy is just trying to mess with you. And if you want him, you need to suck it up and go get your man before that nasty ho does.” I get the feeling I’m playing a game that has no rules.

  “Now, come on. Let’s get out of here before someone breaks the door down. I’ll cover for you if you need to leave or anything.” I nod and give her a quick hug before she opens the door.

  There are a few people waiting in line, and I try to maintain my composure as we walk past. Declan and Eric are waiting nearby, and we join them. As I scan the crowd, my mind races again. What am I going to do? Part of me wants to find Brody and claw his eyes out, but a very real part of me wants to run.

  “We want to dance.” Jenna announces. My eyes dart to hers, and she smiles reassuringly. I wonder what she’s up to, but I follow her to the dance floor. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and begin moving. Before long, I am lost in the music. Declan dances behind me, and I press my body against his. I wish I could convince myself that he is all I need.

  When the music slows, I turn and wrap my arms around his waist. We dance slowly, as he rubs slow circles on my lower back. I feel a tear roll down my cheek, into his shirt. I am ready to leave.

  I rise on my toes and tell Declan I need to go get a drink. He asks if I want him to go with me, but I shake my head. I need to be alone for a minute.

  When I get into the kitchen, there are several guys mixing drinks. One of the guys yells, “Hey, Quince, try one of my famous Fuzzy Navels!” I start to shake my head, but instead, I reach for the drink. Maybe it will help calm my nerves. I drink it quickly and reach for another. It burns a path down my throat into my belly, but I can already feel my nervous energy slipping away. I walk away, not really sure where I’m going.

  Just when I decide that I might leave, I see Brody. He is leaning against the wall, and the girl is standing between his legs. When he smiles down at her, my blood boils. I watch as he takes her hand and leads her up the stairs. Oh, hell no.

  I sit my drink down on a table and make my way through the crowd. I can’t see Brody, so I take the stairs quickly. I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I know I have to talk to him. If she wants him, she may have a fight on her hands.

  When I reach the top of the stairs, I see the door to Brody’s room closing. Without thinking, or even looking to see who is watching, I dash down the hall and catch the door. When I push it open and step inside, Brody’s eyes widen in shock. He staggers as he pushes the girl behind him. “What are you doing, Quince?” He’s been drinking. I can smell it on him. And I hear it in his voice.

  I take several deep breaths as I prepare myself for whatever happens next. “Get her out, Brody. Get. Her. Out.” I have no idea what I’m doing. And I might even be completely psycho. All I know is that I want that girl away from him.

  Turning to the girl, he says, “Whitney, can you wait outside a minute?” So, now, she has a name. Bitch. She walks around me like she’s afraid I might hit her.

  When the door closes behind her, I slump against the wall and slide to the ground. “Why, Brody? Why did you bring her here?” The gates open, and tears run down my face. He is suddenly by my side, on his knees, wrapping his arms around me. I try to fight him, but he holds on tighter. Everything I’ve been holding in since I saw him walk through the door, I let it all out. “Tonight, I came here for you!”

  “Shhh. Shhh. Just hold on to me, baby.” I wrap my arms around his neck, and he pulls me into his arms as he stands. Holding me close, he whispers, “Just stay here. I’ll be back in
a minute.” He gently lays me on the bed, kissing me lightly on my forehead.

  The door opens and closes. Curling into a ball, I cry until I fall asleep. I startle awake when the weight of the bed shifts. Brody lies down behind me, pulling me into him. He locks his fingers with mine. For a long time, we lie silently, each alone in our thoughts.

  “Last night, when I walked in and saw you asleep on his lap, I almost lost it. You were sleeping so peacefully, and it reminded me of how you looked when you were asleep next to me at the cabin. He was touching your hair. And I was pissed. I wanted to kick his ass because he was touching my girl. But you aren’t mine.” He absently runs a hand through my hair as he holds me close. “You gave yourself to me, but you don’t belong to me.” He lets out a long breath and nuzzles his face into the curve of my neck.

  His words confuse me. Every time we talk, it feels as if we are saying goodbye. It hurts me. It frightens me. And I don’t know what he’s offering, but I’ll take it. “Talk to me, Quince.”

  “You hurt me. You say you don’t want to share, but what about me? I don’t want to either.” I roll over so that we are face to face. I expected anger, thought he would fight me on this. Instead, he looks… hurt. My resolve wilts under his stare. “Brody.”

  With that one word, he pulls me into his arms. I close my eyes and breathe him in. And lying here in the dark, with only the moon as a witness, I realize that I’ve given my heart to this beautiful man. It scares me senseless.

  I can still hear music through the walls, and I sit up in a panic. “Oh, no! Jenna!” I feel around the bed, searching for my discarded phone.

  Brody chuckles and grasps my hands. “Baby, I talked to Jenna an hour ago. She knows exactly where you are, and she took care of things with Declan, too.” He releases me and stands to turn on some music. “I wouldn’t want anyone hearing my little visitor tonight.” When he turns toward me, I can see his silhouette, framed by the moonlight. It’s not enough to see him clearly, but I’d know this body anywhere.

  I slowly stand and walk to him. He doesn’t move as I begin to undress him. I slide his shirt over his shoulders and off. Then, I tug his t-shirt up over his abdomen. He raises his arms as I pull his shirt over his head. His scent surrounds us, and it makes me want to taste him. He’s staring into my eyes, and although I can barely see him, I know he’s letting me call the shots. Standing on my tiptoes, I plant a kiss on his collarbone. I lick a path to his neck and down his chest. When my hands find his waistband, I struggle to unbutton his pants. He reaches down to help me, and I giggle. How am I supposed to seduce him if I can’t even unbutton his pants? I run my hands along his hips, and down into his pants when I reach his back.

  I slide his pants down his legs, and he steps out of them. He looks delicious as he stands in front of me with only his boxers on. Heat starts in my cheeks and spreads across my face. I look away from his face, but he places a finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Same rules, Quince. You tell me if you want to stop.” His voice washes over me, and I know I couldn’t stop, even if I wanted to.

  I run my finger along the waistband of his boxers, and lower my mouth to his chest. I can feel him pressing against me, and I slowly tug his boxers down. They get caught on him, and I know I need to adjust him to pull them down. I’m not sure how to go about this, and when I look up at him, he is smiling broadly. “Let me help you, babe.” He pulls his boxers down and pushes them aside.

  When he straightens up, I put my hands on his chest and push him backwards. When the backs of his legs hit the bed, I push him down and say, “Sit. This is for you.”

  Knowing he can’t fully see me, my movements grow bolder. I hesitate only a moment before lowering my dress and stepping out of it. Slowly, I reach up to unclasp my bra. “No. I get to unwrap the rest. Tonight, babe, tonight, you are mine.” He reaches out and pulls me to stand in front of him. He is still sitting on the end of the bed, and his mouth finds my neck. Kissing me gently, he unclasps my bra with one hand. Of course, he does. It falls away, and I am exposed. I resist the urge to cover myself, wanting to give him everything.

  When his mouth finds my breast, my knees grow weak. He teases me, licking and kissing, until my legs can no longer support me. I push him backwards, until he is resting on his elbows, looking up at me. I place one knee on the bed and raise my other leg so that I am straddling him. I can feel him through my panties, and I begin to move on top of him. He falls back, grinding his hips into me. “Shit, baby. You feel so good.” His hands are on my waist, guiding me on top of him. I arch my back and continue to move with him. The rhythm gradually quickens, and tension begins to build inside of me. I cry out and shake as my body is overcome with passion.

  “I thought you were beautiful before, but damn, Quince, that was breathtaking.” He quickly shifts and rolls me onto the bed. He stands and reaches for his pants. I hear the foil tear, and I watch as he rolls a condom on. Stepping between my legs, he raises my legs over his arms. His knees are on the bed, and he draws my hips up to him. In one movement, he rips my panties from my body. “I need you too much, baby.” And he plunges into me with no warning. The gentleness is gone, replaced by raw hunger. His fingers dig into my hips as he sets a furious pace, this time not as gentle as the last. His hair is wet and hangs across his brow. I wrap my hands tightly in the sheets and struggle to catch my breath. Unbelievably, I tighten around him, near the brink again. And when he thrusts into me a final time, I fall over the edge with him.

  He lies on top of me, with my legs still wrapped around his waist, until our breathing becomes even. He rolls off me to dispose of the condom. When he turns back to me, I wrap my arms around him, desperate to hold onto this moment. “Stop worrying, Quince.” He nuzzles my neck and whispers, “Night, babe.”

  Chapter 34

  The sun shines into the windows, waking me from the deepest sleep I’ve ever had. I am hot, and something is pinning me to the bed. I smile to myself and try to roll over without waking Brody. It’s my turn to watch him sleep, memorizing his body. Long, dark eyelashes. Chiseled jaw line, a five o’clock shadow just growing in. Perfect, lush lips. And that damn hair. I-just-got-out-of-bed-but-look-like-a-model hair. Broad, muscular chest. Awesome fraternity tattoo. Powerful arms. Hands capable of performing magic. Hot.

  While I indulge in this guilty pleasure, my mind wanders to darker places. The memory of Brody bringing a girl into this room stings. What would he have done if I hadn’t shown up? Lying in his bed, on his sheets, I wonder if they are even clean. How many girls has he had in this bed? And looking at him, it hurts to know he has touched someone else the way he touches me. Especially Whitney.

  When my eyes return to his face, he’s smiling down at me. “Like anything you see?” So freakin’ irresistible.

  “I was just thinking that even the devil looks angelic when he’s asleep.” I want so badly to just enjoy this time, but the doubt is already creeping in.

  “The devil? So, does the devil make you feel like this?” He quickly rolls over and pins me to the bed. His hips press into mine, and my body responds to his touch. He pins my hands over my head, licking his way down my neck. “Tell me, Quince. Do you want me to stop?”

  “Brody.” I barely manage to whisper his name between breaths. Though I’ve had little sleep, and my body is tired, he shows me again what he is capable of.

  We are laying close, arms and legs entangled, when I become aware of voices in the hall. My stomach drops when I realize that I have to somehow get out of here and back to the dorm without being seen. I’m sure Jenna is still here, but that doesn’t explain why I’m here. “Quince, stop it. I’ll take care of it.” He sits up, and I finally get an unobstructed view of his tattoo. From shoulder to shoulder is a tribal pattern. Between his shoulder blades is a three-pronged symbol. The whole thing is very exotic and fascinating.

  “Brody, is that another fraternity symbol on your back?” I can’t resist asking, and I lean up to trace the pattern across his shoulder.
I have never liked tattoos, but this is like a piece of art on his body.

  “The symbol in the middle is the Celtic sign for fate. I got it a couple years ago, when I was reflecting on how much our lives depend on fate. We deny it; we may even fight it. But no one can avoid fate.” I am drawn into his explanation, but the irony that his tattoo is three-pronged is not lost on me.

  While he gets dressed, I watch in silence. He turns back to me, “Get dressed, and I’ll be back to get you in a minute.” His eyes linger on me, but I can’t read his face. I know this sneaking feels as wrong to him as it does to me. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders because I know I am the only one who can fix this.

  Once I am dressed, I sit on the sofa and look at Brody’s pictures. In every picture, no matter what he’s doing, he looks happy. I can tell he has a very close relationship with his family. From the many pictures outdoors, it is obvious he loves nature and adventure. It is sad that I am learning more about him by looking at his pictures than we’ve ever talked about.

  I jump when the door opens. Brody smiles as he walks in. “Guess what? We are alone except Eric and Jenna, and….” He brings his hands out from behind his back. “I brought breakfast.” My mouth waters when I see donuts from a local shop. I think I even lick my lips. Winking, Brody says, “You can thank me later.”

  We eat in silence, enjoying the moment. I was worried that things would be awkward this morning. That maybe he would regret last night. After all, I did act like a total psycho stalker girl.

  A knock on the door sends my nerves into a tailspin. Laughing, Brody opens the door for Jenna. “Now that you are in good hands, I have to go meet the guys to work on some Rush week stuff.” He walks over and kisses the top of my head. “Later.”