Everything She Needs (The Everything Trilogy)

by Shandwick, K. L.

  Alfie was on the verge of being a rock star, and our lives were going in different directions. Apart from that, he didn’t love me. I looked at myself hard in the mirror, on the first day of the new year.

  I decided to give myself to him for today, but it had to be the last day. I wasn’t what his life was about, and told myself that I deserved better. Tonight, I was about building a memory.

  I washed between my legs and pushed myself away from the vanity unit. Alfie was looking at his cell when I padded out to the bedroom, his eyes flicked to it and back to me.

  He placed it on the nightstand on his side of the bed. I walked to the minibar and opened the fridge. There was nothing in there I wanted to drink.

  “Can we get something else to drink from room service?” I turned to look at him, and he was on his feet heading towards the bathroom.

  “Sure, you want to call room service and take care of it? I need a shower. Sorry I should have done that when we arrived. I wasn’t very clean after the gig an’ all.” He disappeared into the bathroom as I picked up the phone.

  I ordered champagne and some nibbles from room service. I hadn’t eaten much tonight, and I was a little lightheaded. I replaced the phone, and Alfie’s cell vibrated on his nightstand.

  I was about to pick it up to take it to Alfie. It was lit up and the ID Kara had been programmed in. The blond girl from campus was staring up at me, smiling on his screen.

  I felt sick as I stared back at her, of course she couldn’t see me. My heart stuttered, a sharp pang of shock hitting me, both in my heart and hurting my head. I stood frozen, waiting for it to go to voicemail, or for Alfie to come out of the bathroom and answer her.

  Eventually, her face disappeared and was replaced by the missed call alert. All thoughts of continuing with the façade tonight were suddenly gone now.

  I grabbed my dress and pulled it on. The one time, the glamorous garment of tonight, now felt like the sluttiest dress in the world as I fastened the zipper. It’s stupid bodice goading me like I had put myself out there for him.

  I grabbed my bra off of the floor and crammed it into my small purse, struggling with the clip to get it to stay closed, then I sat down slowly in a chair near his nightstand and looked out into the darkness through the big picture window.

  The bathroom door cracked open. Alfie padded into the room. He was drying his groin with a big fluffy white hotel towel, completely comfortable in his skin around me. I envied his ability to shuck off all feeling, and do what he wanted around me.

  I watched his reflection through the dark window as he wandered around drying himself. I didn’t dare turn around, frightened of the eye contact, and the inevitable tears that would follow.

  It wasn’t fair to be a man like Alfie. He truly had it all in one package. An amazingly beautiful face, full lips, huge eyes that were like mood stones, and a physique that was toned to perfection.

  He was charming and charismatic, witty, clever and extremely talented. All women wanted to be with him, all men, if they would admit to it, wanted to be like him.

  “What did you order for us?” he asked. There was a smile in his voice. He strolled over to me, draping his arms loosely over my shoulders, his arms snaking around my midrift, to look outside at what he thought I was looking at.

  “Who is she, Alfie?” I heard myself ask him.

  It was like I was looking in on the situation, a fly-on-the-wall, observing the scene that was going to play out in front of me. “What are you talking about?” he sounded puzzled.

  “Kara.” Alfie stiffened at the mention of her name. I turned to look at him. It was like watching a car crash, you know you shouldn’t look, but you need to see it for yourself for it to register properly. His eyes flicked to his cell, then back to me.

  “No one,” he said, but his eyes flicked back to his cell again.

  He scrolled to unlock it and pulled it to his ear. I could hear a soft American accent filter through his phone, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. Alfie’s emotions were showing on his face, his jaw was twitching. He began to move towards his dresser like I suddenly wasn’t there.

  Opening a drawer, he pulled out some boxer shorts and a midnight blue t-shirt. He pulled on the boxers, finished listening to the message and threw his phone on the bed. He lifted his jeans and pulled them on quickly, doing the same with the t-shirt.

  “If she’s programmed into your phone and you have her picture, then she’s isn’t no one,” I spat back at him. “Who is she, and what is she to you?”

  Alfie stiffened again and glared over at me. “Don’t do this, Lily.”

  Tears began to fall from my eyes. “Fucking tell me,” I hissed.

  Alfie pulled on his boots and began making for the door. “Stay here. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He had fucked me, and now he was just going to walk out on me after a call from another woman? Like hell I’d stay here.

  I picked the phone up and rang the reception desk, asking them to have a cab ready for me. I shrugged myself into my coat. I only had myself to blame for this, we should have never done this again.

  I opened the door and made my way to the elevator. It was just closing, and I snagged my foot in it to hold it open, before squeezing myself inside. I fought back the tears, my focus now on getting the fuck out of this hotel and away from him.

  I half ran across the foyer and made for the revolving door, told the doorman my name, and he signaled for my cab to come forward. I scooted in the back and the door closed loudly and firmly behind me, it was kind of symbolic considering my relationship with Alfie.

  As I drove away, Alfie was standing outside the hotel, deep in conversation on his cell. I passed right in front of him, but he didn’t look up.

  He promised me a night to remember back there in the box after the concert. He wasn’t wrong, I’d remember all of it, but not in the way he had planned.

  I asked the driver to take me to Jack’s after texting him. I had a key to his place, so even if he wasn’t home yet, I knew it was somewhere that I wouldn’t have to answer questions, unlike if I had turned up at home. My parents were having friends over, and I knew they would still be entertaining.

  I felt sorry for the cab driver, who did his best to chat with me. I ended up telling him I would appreciate him not talking, because I had just found my boyfriend with someone else. It worked. My statement to him was a real conversation killer.

  I was just turning the key in Jack’s door when my cell began to ring. I ignored it. Jack’s place was in darkness, and Jack was obviously not back yet. Not wanting to face him, I went to sleep in the guest bedroom, although this was also now tainted with memories of Alfie and me.

  I unzipped the slutty dress again, and let it slip to the floor. Jack would have to run to my place to find me an outfit tomorrow. I definitely wasn’t going to be wearing that dress again.

  I went into Jack’s room and found one of his t-shirts in the bottom drawer of his dresser, and slipped it over my head. My cell rang again. I didn’t need to look to know who it would be.

  I made a mental note for myself to buy a new cell phone with a different number tomorrow. I needed to cut this guy off once and for all. I curled myself into the fetal position, the one that’s supposed to protect you, and cried myself to asleep.

  I awoke to hear loud knocking and Jack yelling, “Will you just wait a goddamn minute.” I heard Jack unlocking the door and opening it.

  The sound of Alfie’s voice flooded the space of his loft apartment. “Is she here?” I slid out of bed quietly, my heart racing, trying to think of where to hide.

  I quickly straightened the bed, picked my things up off of the floor and went into Jack’s guest bathroom. I stood in his bath, and pulled the plastic shower curtain around it. The bathtub was freezing, but I stood stockstill, holding my breath.

  “She’s not fucking here, I told you,” Jack shouted at him.

  “I need to see her, I’ve got to talk to her, I’m not losing her again,�
�� he hissed.

  “You never had her in the first place, you fucking idiot.” Jack sounded fierce. “She told me all about you. Why couldn’t you keep your fucking hands off of her; she’s not like other girls.” He sounded as if he was talking through gritted teeth.

  “Jealous that it wasn’t you balls deep inside her sweet pussy?” My jaw dropped, and I realized I was standing and my mouth was shaped into a gigantic ‘O’.

  I heard Jack say, “Alfie, what Lily and I have, you could never achieve, so goad all you want. I know I’ll always be in her life. Don’t think you can say the same, can you? Why don’t you leave the girl the fuck alone? She deserves so much better.”

  I heard chair legs scraping across the floor and realized they were in his kitchen area now. “Sit the fuck, down, man,” Jack said. I could hear Jack pottering about and knew he was filling his coffee machine.

  “You’ve told her you don’t want her, so leave her be… coffee?” Jack raked around inside a cupboard, and the clinking of ceramic told me cups were being set out on his granite worktop.

  “I do want her. God, I’ve never wanted anything more. She’s amazing.” There was a brief silence.

  Jack spoke again. “So why are you playing with her heart, man? She’s so fucking hurt and to be honest, I detest you for it.”

  There was silence again. “Well?” I heard him press Alfie for an answer.

  “It’s complicated. I can’t explain, I’m hoping it will all work out one day.”

  Jack laughed. “Complicated? Do you mean there’s another woman involved?” I heard chair legs scrape again and footsteps walking on tile. I imagined that Alfie was pacing; I’d seen him do it before when he was uncomfortable.

  “So is there? Am I right?” Jack persisted. Another silence ensued between them before Aflie answered.

  “Yeah…no, at least not in the way it is with Lily, but yeah, I have responsibilities.”

  Jack’s voice sounded angry. “Yeah, well, maybe it is for you, but it doesn’t have to be complicated for Lily. She needs to stay away from you and if you care about her, you’ll leave her the fuck alone.”

  Alfie sighed. “I can’t, I need her.” There was more noise from the kitchen as Jack made drinks.

  Alfie’s voice sounded a little quieter now, but I could still make out what he said. “I know you’re going to find this difficult, but can you ask her to talk to me? Are you sure she isn’t here.”

  Jack sounded as if he was losing patience now. “Listen man, you had your chance, and you blew it. From what she’s told me you’ve been hot and cold since you met her. That’s nasty to treat a woman like that. If I know Lily, and believe me, I know her much better than you do, your chances have run out. If she’s gone to ground on you, then she won’t put herself out there again, and no, man, she isn’t here.”

  The chair scraped again. “You sure about that. She isn’t at home, I’ve been there. The next place she’d go according to her parents is here, to you.”

  Jack told Alfie, “Nope, not here, check the place out if you don’t believe me.

  Alfie said, “I might just do that.”

  Jack encouraged him, “Go ahead, if it makes you feel better.”

  I heard doors open and close as he got nearer to my room. The guest bedroom door suddenly swung open. “See, man, not here, I told you so.”

  I stood holding my breath in case he came into the bathroom, but I heard the door close again as they moved away. I exhaled slowly as my heart beat hard in my chest.

  I heard Alfie and Jack talk some more, but they had gone into the sitting room and that was too far away for me to hear what they were saying. I stayed in the bathroom, too frightened to come out in case he heard me.

  After a few more minutes I heard them coming back towards the apartment door. “Please Jack, we need each other, I want to do the right thing for her, believe me.”

  I heard the apartment door click closed and Jack muttered, “Fucking idiot he has no idea what he’s lost.” Part of me wished that Alfie could have felt that, just for a second, so he’d understand what it meant to me.

  CHAPTER 17 – RUNNING

  After Alfie left, I was going to open the door of the bedroom, but my cell rang. I saw it was Jack. “Hey.” I smirked. I tickled me that he had no idea I was here, he couldn’t have checked his cell, I had sent him a text.

  “Hey Lily, are you okay?” Jack was being coy, and waiting for me to tell him.

  “What do you think?” I put back to him, waiting to see what he was going to tell me.

  “Where are you, honey?” he asked.

  “Why?” I was giving nothing away.

  He sighed. “Do you need me to come get you?” My heart sang, Jack wanted to support me.

  “Why?”

  He huffed out, “Alfie was here, Lily, he’s looking for you. What happened between you both? The guy looks like death.”

  “I know that he came to see you, Jack. I’m here.” Jack sounded confused.

  “Here? Where? ” I smirked and opened the bedroom door. “Here in your spare room.” He spun on his heels and ran to me, scooping me up in a hug. He kissed my forehead.

  “Damn Lily, you were here?” I nodded. “In the shower, I hid there.” He smirked and grabbed my hand.

  He led me into the kitchen and poured me some coffee, then raided his fridge, pulling out a packet of ham, his favorite. “Want some?” he offered.

  “Jack, I just woke up, I can’t eat ham at nine am.”

  He smirked. “Why not? I keep telling you, we’re adults, we can do what we like now.”

  We sat drinking coffee, and I told Jack what had happened, all of it. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly, soothing me whilst I cried.

  What a great start to the new year for both of us. Jack was the perfect person for me today. He stuffed my face with food and even went to a local mini store that was open to find me the kind of chocolate I liked.

  He even sat through the four hour epic that was Gone With The Wind. Later in the day, Jack went over to my house to get me a change of clothes, telling my parents that I was sleeping late due to an all-night party.

  Jack lay beside me in bed and was restless. He exhaled and sighed. “Lily, I don’t know what his deal is, Alfie cares, but you’re not first on his list, you know what I’m saying?” I nodded and the tears fell again.

  “He made that crystal clear last night, Jack. I’ve made up my mind, I’m going to ring the airport tomorrow and see if I can change my ticket. I want to get back there before he does. I can manage myself better there when I don’t have to hide things from my parents.”

  He hugged me and kissed my head, then asked if he could fly out at the end of January. We agreed on provisional dates for him to visit. I fell asleep tucked in tightly to Jack.

  Alfie would only hound me for the rest of his time here. The best way of dealing with him was not to deal. I needed to make some space for myself so that I was out of his reach.

  I rang the airline and was able to get booked on the 11am flight the next morning. That only gave me sixteen hours before I needed to be at the airport.

  I called Will to tell him I was coming back early and to ask if he would pick me up from Miami International. “Sure. Why are you coming back so soon, honey?” I couldn’t face all the questions and raking over the mess that was Alfie, so I told him that I was bored.

  I felt bad lying to him and to my parents; I told them that Will and I needed to do a lot of work for the start of the next semester, and I wanted to give it all of my attention. They were sad that my visit was ending abruptly but seemed to accept that I needed to go.

  I was packed in no time thanks to my mother’s efficient organizing skills. My dad and Jack took me to the airport and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the immigration officers that would take me through security to the departure lounge.

  My dad hugged me tightly, “Take care, honey, we love you, have the time of your life over there, but be safe
, okay?” He smiled, his eyes full of love for me.

  Jack huffed. “Come here!” he said, eyes welling up, but with a smile that told me how much I meant to him too. I mumbled into his chest. “You are the best friend I could ever wish for, Jack.”

  Jack pushed me away from him, knowing I wasn’t quite strong enough to let go this morning. He nodded and I walked slowly, looking back briefly, before going out of sight to the security screening area.

  Jack had helped me buy a new phone and transferred all my numbers over for me, after deleting all my texts involving Alfie, as well as his phone number.

  So I couldn’t even contact him if I wanted to. The flight back was tiring; I watched three movies, but I probably couldn’t answer any questions about them, my concentration wasn’t up to par.

  Seeing the sun when I walked out of the airport with Will didn’t do much for my mood either. I just wanted a shower, something to eat, and to sleep. Will tried hard to support me, even though he had no idea what was going on with me right now.

  I didn’t really trust men, apart from my dad, and Jack of course. Will asked if I wanted to go to his place, but the way I was feeling I didn’t want to be around any man, so I asked him to take me home.

  Holly was still in Texas visiting her parents, she had a two week holiday and only left on New Year’s Eve, so I knew she wouldn’t be around for a while. I hadn’t heard a word from Saffy, and with her gone too, I had time to wallow in my own pity party.

  I spent the following week locked down after doing a massive shop, and hardly spoke to anyone apart from Jack, who called on Skype every day to check up on me.

  Four days into my lockdown I found a note under my door from Alfie. I didn’t read it. I know I shouldn’t have done it really, but I screwed up and stuck it down the waste disposal unit.

  On the day I was due back at college, I rang Will. “Lily! Where the hell have you been? You haven’t answered your phone. I stopped by but your doorman told me you had just gone out, and your car wasn’t in the parking lot.”

  I had forgotten to tell Will about my change in number. I had emailed him from the plane to say I would meet him out by the exit doors near the car rental places.