A Desperate Road to Freedom

by Karleen Bradford

  She had pretty much the same kind of trip as us and by great good fortune, she ended up in Rochester, too. When she got there folks helped her settle in and then she met Miles. Miles was a free man and he had a good job. He helped Sarah get a job in an inn, washing dishes in the kitchen. Sarah wanted to keep out of sight as much as possible because of the Fugitive Slave Law. She was always worrying that some slave catcher would recognize her as a runaway and carry her back to Virginia. As the war went on, though, things got more and more confused. By last winter there were two Union army camps in Rochester, and with all the Northern soldiers around there she began to feel safer.

  She and Miles got fonder and fonder of each other, then they finally married and she felt even more safe. She says she never passed one day without thinking of us, though, and wondering how we were. Then she found out she was going to have a baby of her own and she wanted to be with Mama so bad, it hurt. When she told us that, she threw her arms around Mama and cried a bit. Mama cried, too.

  My candle is guttering out. Best finish this story tomorrow.

  Sunday, February, 21st, 1864

  Father Miller welcomed Sarah and Miles and baby Liza into the church this morning. What a proud feeling it was to stand there beside them. “This is my sister, Sarah,” I kept saying. “And my new brother, Miles. And,” almost best of all, “my niece Liza.”

  Father Miller said a prayer for Thomas, too, and we all prayed that the war might end soon.

  Now I’ll get back to Sarah’s story:

  When baby Liza was born, Sarah began to pine even more for Mama and her family. Then one day Miles met a man named Holmes who had helped a family escape up to Canada. He mentioned our names and Miles realized the family he was talking about might be us. Miles got excited and brought the man home to meet Sarah. She asked him more questions, then knew for certain it was us. In that moment she determined they had to follow us up here.

  Mister Holmes helped them, and they got on a Canada steamer the next week. It was easier for them than it was for us, because Miles was a free man and he had his free papers. Sarah didn’t, but there was a lot of disorder around the harbour because of the war and all, and the slave catchers had pretty well given up by then, so they just held their heads high and walked onto that ship as bold as could be and nobody stopped them.

  They were told that we were heading for Toronto, and Mister Holmes gave them Reverend Brown’s name, so when they arrived they looked him up and he wrote to us. Sarah said she just about went crazy until she heard back that Papa was coming for her. She was so afraid we wouldn’t get Reverend Brown’s letter, or that we had moved on somewhere else.

  Wednesday, February 24th, 1864

  It is wonderful having Sarah and her family here with us. Joseph is getting to know Sarah now, and is more and more interested in baby Liza. He even asked Sarah if he could hold her today.

  Monday, February 29th, 1864

  It’s a leap year. Means we get an extra day in February. The weather is so horrible I could certainly do without it.

  Baby Liza has a cold and is fretful. She’s crying all the time. The cabin is feeling awfully small and crowded. We’re so happy to have Sarah and her family here that we’re not complaining, but it’s hard on Mama. Our baby is due in about a month and Mama’s feeling a mite peaked. Sarah is a real help, though. She’s taken over most of the washing and ironing. Joseph and I are still picking up and delivering the wash after school.

  March 1864

  Tuesday, March 1st, 1864

  They have a saying here in Canada: If March comes in like a lion it will go out like a lamb.

  Well, today is certainly lion-like. The wind is howling around our little cabin and making its way in through every crack and cranny. We’re keeping the fire up and trying to stay as warm as possible. Baby Liza is still fussing, though, and we’re all getting fussed as well.

  Friday, March 4th, 1864

  Finally, the wind and snow and rain have stopped and the sun came out. It was the first day in a long time that it wasn’t just pure misery going to school and back. Snow’s going, but there’s a lot of mud in its place. Some streets, you can’t walk along them without sinking in up to your ankles.

  Amelia came home with me after school to visit. She loves the baby and really likes to hold her. Luckily, Liza seems over her cold and was back to her usual smiley little self.

  Missus Long and Noah came by, too. I think it made Missus Long sad to hold Liza, but she didn’t say anything, just cuddled her. She brought over a cap and mittens that she had knitted herself. Noah brought over a rattle that he made. Turns out he’s real good at carving.

  Saturday, March 5th, 1864

  Joseph pestered Mama all this morning to let him have a couple of pennies from the reward money she put away for him back in October. She finally gave in and he was off. He wouldn’t tell anyone why he wanted them. When he got back he ran right over to the cradle where baby Liza was sleeping by the fire. He reached into his pocket and brought out a long string of licorice and gave it to her! Turns out he wanted to give her a present, too, and that was the best thing he could think of.

  Sarah was real sweet. She thanked Joseph and said she’d put it away until Liza got some teeth to chew it with. Joseph was just beaming happy.

  Tuesday, March 8th, 1864

  Seems like life has gotten awfully busy lately. What with delivering and picking up laundry after school, and taking care of Liza while Sarah does the ironing, I am dog-tired when it comes bedtime. Hard to make myself write in this journal, but I am determined to keep at it.

  We got good news today. I was down at the harbour after school with Sarah and baby Liza and Miles. Amelia and her daddy came walking along and stopped to talk to us. Captain Pearce turned to me. “Julia May,” he said, “I don’t rightly believe you were ever properly thanked for rescuing my daughter last fall.”

  I blushed and just muttered something. Couldn’t even meet his eyes I was so embarrassed. Anyway, he went on to thank me nice as could be, and then asked to be introduced to Sarah and Miles. First thing I knew, he and Miles were talking away all about boats. Seems Miles has always wanted to sail on one. As they talked, and Captain Pearce was telling him stories about sailing on the lakes, Miles was getting more and more excited. Sounded more like a boy than a young man. Finally he just sort of blurted out, “Could I work for you, Captain Pearce? No need to pay me until I learn the ropes, but I’d dearly love a chance to go out on the lakes with you in the spring.”

  As Mama says, you could have knocked me over with a feather.

  Captain Pearce sort of hemmed and hawed for a moment or two, then he smiled. “Fair enough,” he said, and he laid his hand on my shoulder. “I do owe this family a favour. Tell you what. I’ll take you out with me this spring after the breakup. If you learn fast enough, I’ll sign you on as a regular deckhand by the end of summer. How does that sound?”

  Miles could hardly answer him, he was so pleased. Sarah’s not so sure about it, though. She doesn’t like the idea of Miles being away so much, and she’s worried about the dangers, but she knows jobs are hard to come by and this is a good chance for Miles.

  Later on, when Amelia and I were by ourselves, she went on and on about how nice it was of her daddy to give Miles a chance at a job, but I just said Captain Pearce was lucky to be getting such a good man. For a moment there things got a mite testy, but we both realized it and stopped ourselves. We are too good friends to fight. It was horrible when we did. We don’t want to do that again.

  Friday, March 11th, 1864

  Joseph and I went down to the harbour today after school. We had to pick up some washing at a lady’s house near there and Joseph wanted to look at the ships. There are a lot of them in there, all frozen solid in the ice — sailing ships and lots of steamers — so many they’re tied up side by side. The sailing ships are called schooners. I think that is the funniest word.

  Saturday, March 19th, 1864

  Liza is getting a
tooth and she’s fussing again. Seems like the only time she’s happy is when Joseph is holding her! I can’t believe how good he is with her. He’s usually such a wild little boy, but when he’s holding Liza he’s quiet and gentle.

  Monday, March 21st, 1864

  Noah came by to tell me that his papa and brothers have come in from the lumber camp. The snow’s pretty well gone and it’s too muddy to get the logs out now. He’s going up to their piece of land to help them clear brush and get ready for planting, then Missus Long is going up to join them and they’ll be living there all the time. Noah said his papa felt real bad about Missus Long losing the baby. He wants to get a good shanty built before she goes up to join him, and Mama promised we’d take good care of her until then.

  I won’t hardly be seeing Noah any more at all now, only when they come in to town for supplies. I’m surprised at how bad I’m feeling about that.

  Sunday, March 27th, 1864

  Easter Sunday and the sun is shining. The snow is all gone and everything seems to be dripping and sparkling. Except for the mud. The mud is unbelievable.

  Everyone in town was wearing their finest clothes for church this morning, but the ladies were having a hard time making their way down the streets. Even Poulett Street was a muddy mess. Our church service was joyful, though. No one could be fussed on such a beautiful spring day.

  Thursday, March 31st, 1864

  Guess the old saying is true. It’s the last day of March and March is going out like a lamb. It’s actually warm! Joseph and I went down to the harbour after school again today and the river is just raging in and breaking up all the ice. The captains and their men are back on their boats and getting ready to leave. Miles is down on Captain Pearce’s boat. He was working on the deck and smiling to beat the band when we saw him. He is one happy man.

  April 1864

  Saturday, April 9th, 1864

  Very exciting today. The ice was breaking up fast and the ships were all starting to leave. What a commotion! The steamers went out first, fighting their way through the remaining ice and sending it crashing against the shore. The schooners were the last to leave. Amelia came down to see her daddy and her brother William off, and she and Sarah just stood there watching the ship leave. They were holding each other’s hand. Amelia has never told Sarah about when her daddy was missing last November, but Sarah knows how dangerous sailing on the lakes can be.

  Monday, April 11th, 1864

  We had an uproar this afternoon. I came home from school and went to check on Liza, as usual. She wasn’t in her cradle, so I found Sarah and asked her where Liza was.

  “In her cradle, of course,” Sarah said, but I told her she wasn’t.

  Well, Sarah near took a fit. Mama was lying down — our baby’s due any day now — and she didn’t know where the baby was, either. Then I looked out the kitchen window. There, in the field beside the house where Buck is, were Joseph and the baby. Liza can sit up pretty well now, and Joseph was holding her perched on the fence. She was patting Buck on the nose and looked like she was having a lovely time. I know how soft Buck’s muzzle is, and I guess she loved it, too. Just as we saw them, Buck gave a nicker and shook his head.

  Sarah ran out, screaming. I thought she was about to tear a strip off Joseph’s hide. When she asked him why in the good Lord’s name he had done such a thing he just said he thought Liza would like it.

  And I guess he was right, because when Sarah snatched her off and carried her back up here to the house she cried something terrible.

  Wednesday, April 13th, 1864

  Our baby was born today! Mama let me name her Aleisha. She is BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL!

  Friday, April 15th, 1864

  I can’t stop carrying that baby around. But I will, just long enough to tell about how she was born.

  We had just finished breakfast and I was getting ready to go to school when Mama suddenly sat down. She looked up at me and said, “Julia May, fetch Missus Robinson and then take Joseph down to the harbour to see the ships. The baby’s coming.”

  Missus Robinson helps all the coloured ladies in town with their babies unless they have a problem and need a doctor. I have to admit, I panicked. I guess I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off, because Mama spoke to me again real sharp. “Do as I tell you, Julia May,” she said. So I did. I ran to get Joseph and dragged him to Missus Robinson’s house. She gathered up her stuff and set off up the hill to our cabin.

  “Keep that boy away for today,” she said, “and tonight you’ll have a new baby brother or sister.”

  I ran to the stables then, still dragging Joseph, and told Papa. He left right away to go back to the cabin, too. I remembered then how one of Mama’s friends took me away for the day when Mama had Joseph. I was confused that day because when I came home there was a baby in the house. I didn’t have the slightest notion of where it came from. Wasn’t until a year or so later that Mama told me about babies and how they get here.

  Anyway, I kept Joseph busy all day — never even thought of going to school. We watched the boats in the harbour, then went exploring along the river, then I even let Joseph do a little bit of climbing up in the rocks. Came the afternoon I was hungry and so was Joseph, so I figured it was time to go home.

  Sure enough, when we went into the cabin Mama was resting beside the fire, holding our new baby. Joseph was astounded, but I can see he’s going to be as silly-fond of her as he is of Liza.

  Mama’s calling … Will finish this later.

  Later

  I’m sitting by the fire holding my new baby sister on my lap. Aleisha. It’s hard to manage, but I want to write down what I’m feeling. I just have to let it out somehow. Mama is asleep in the bed beside me. Papa is sleeping in the chair by her side. Sarah is in the other room settling Liza. Joseph was finally persuaded to go to bed, so he’s asleep, too. It’s just me and Aleisha awake right now. She’s looking up at me with big dark eyes. I have to laugh. She has that same stubborn, determined look on her face that Mama gets when she has her mind set on something. I wonder what Aleisha has her mind set on right now. Maybe figuring out who I am.

  I have this warm, comfortable feeling spreading all through me. It’s as though something is telling me that everything is going to be just fine now.

  Thomas is going to come home to us, I know it.

  And I pray that somewhere Caleb and Daniel have made good lives for themselves, too. Maybe after the war we’ll find them. Maybe, if the North wins, we might even find other relatives.

  In any case, we’re a real family now, and this family is going to survive.

  Epilogue

  And survive, the family did, but not without difficulties. The American Civil War ended in April of 1865, just a year after Aleisha was born. Thomas finally returned to Canada, though he had been badly wounded in the war. He recovered from his wounds, but his war experiences were so horrific he never wanted to talk about them. He said it was enough that the North had won and that from then on all people of colour were free in the South as well as the North.

  Racial prejudice dies hard, however, and by the time Thomas got back to Owen Sound, jobs for Black people were hard to come by. Thomas was forced to leave home yet again and make his way to Toronto, where he was fortunate enough to find a job working as a waiter in a restaurant.

  Julia May and Noah were married when they were both still quite young. They lived with Noah’s parents and helped them on their farm after Noah’s two elder brothers also left for jobs in larger towns. They eventually took over the farm when Noah’s parents died. They had five children.

  Julia May was never able to achieve her ambition of becoming a teacher, but she finished high school and made certain that all of her five children did as well. She and Noah attended every one of their graduations with enormous pride. Julia May was delighted to see one of her granddaughters finally become a teacher, even though that young woman had to teach in a small segregated Black country school. Ontario, as Cana
da West came to be called, was not yet ready for Black teachers to work in the integrated schools.

  Amelia married a young man who eventually became a successful doctor in Owen Sound. She and Julia May remained good friends for the rest of their lives. They visited back and forth in each other’s homes, sometimes raising the eyebrows of neighbours who would walk into Amelia’s rather formal home and find her chatting and sharing a cup of coffee with Julia May. Many people still believed that Blacks should know their place and keep to it, and “their place” was not sitting at the dining room table of a white woman.

  Sarah and Miles stayed in Owen Sound and had three more children. Miles worked on the ships until he was quite old, surviving the dangers of the sailing life and even one shipwreck, much to Sarah’s relief.

  To his family’s dismay, Joseph’s spirited disposition did not fit well with schoolwork, and he was only too glad to leave school as soon as he could. For a while he drifted, unsure as to where his future lay, but he never lost his uncanny ability with animals and continued to work with horses whenever and wherever he got the chance. Eventually his talent was brought to the notice of the owner of a stable of thoroughbred horses, and he was hired on. He proved successful in this endeavour, and married a young woman whom the townsfolk called a tomboy. Together they raised four children, all equally lively and all equally obsessed with horses.

  Julia May’s mother, with Sarah and Miles’s help, was finally able to purchase her sewing machine. She eventually became one of the best seamstresses in Owen Sound. As they grew older, Aleisha and Liza helped her and, finally, the three women set up their own business. Aleisha and Liza expanded the enterprise and made ladies’ hats as well. They were much sought after for special occasions.