Outing of the Heart
Page 50
Parking at the Orthopaedic and Arthritis Hospital was conveniently close and the lateness of the hour meant there wasn’t a run on hospital services. By now it was a quarter of eleven; reception quiet, almost empty.
‘I’ll wait for you,’ Devon promised, when Tenille was called.
Despite her confidence in her own diagnosis, there was some trepidation as she hopped to the cubicle, with the nurse’s assistance, to await the Resident’s examination. In fact he didn’t take long to confirm that indeed, she had sustained a total severance of the Tendo Calcaneus. It would require surgical repair and she would have to keep her weight off that leg for the time being. He could not confirm however, if she could have surgery the next day and went off to check the OR list for tomorrow. She waited alone, getting chillier and chillier in the strong air conditioning of Emergency, hoping her luck would be in and it would be soon.
This moment of respite allowed her thoughts to return to their last goodbye. Back then she had thought it was for a few weeks. Now, with this accident there need be no separation. The prospect of not seeing Sidonie had weighed heavily on her. Now that she was just a phone call away, she understood how crushing that weight had been. Above all, her changed circumstances crystallized to a sharp focus, as nothing else had, the fact that she was truly a special person in her life. Inside, deep in her heart, she believed if she could share her life with her, as in living together, this would be perfection. She was such a wonderful person. Her admiration was wide-ranging and, without doubt, there was a physical power that even during her infatuation with Devon, had been shockingly intense.
She took a deep breath, readjusting her position on the plinth. There was something about Sidonie she found utterly compelling. It felt so good in her company. Not like in the beginning when she had been unsure of herself, always wondering if she were doing the right, or even worse, the wrong thing. They just seemed to click. Their wavelengths coincided since they’d opened up their hearts. There was a confidence she’d not had before, since that night of lovemaking. She admitted that knowing how Sid felt about her; how attracted she was, let her ride the biggest high. Without her close, she missed that sense of being truly alive, right down to her fingertips and toes. Did she make her feel the same way? One day she must ask her how she made her feel, if …
The young Resident returned to interrupt her reverie, an apologetic smile playing about his lips. This woman has beguiling eyes, he admired to himself. “There’s probably some hunky dude enjoying her favors. Lucky devil.” Being a Resident he was stuck here all the hours God made. He coughed to clear the sudden roughness of his throat and began to explain that the repair could not be scheduled until Saturday, am. She would be admitted tomorrow afternoon and prepped the next morning for a noon op.
‘Will you be doing the repair, Dr. Jamieson?’ she had to ask, feeling a confidence in this doctor, despite his youthfulness. She wanted to know her fate lay in capable hands; one heard such stories of the wrong limb being operated on or worse, removed.
‘Gees. Not me.’ He was shocked. He’d only joined this Residency three weeks ago. ‘No. Dr. Suli will be the surgeon on duty this week end.’ He saw her face drop. ‘Don’t you worry, she’s very capable; years of experience.’ A woman surgeon? Yes. This was even better. She’d always liked the sincere and caring approach of women doctors. They seemed to have more time for details.
‘Thank you Dr. Jamieson. I’m not the least bit worried and am only anxious to get through the next stage of my life as quickly as possible. I know the non-weight bearing period will be awfully long and tedious.’
‘Yes. Well, it used to be about three months, but with the more sophisticated techniques at our disposal today, we’ve been able to shorten that quite considerably. If there are no complications, that is.’ He smiled once more, giving her the benefit of his boyish grin, he, for once, totally captivated by the direct, yet soft gaze which had been turned on him. He really would like to get to know this woman better. There was an indefinable difference about her. Almost as though she were talking to anybody and not a strapping, virile Scot like him. He was used to women responding to his maleness as much as his position, but this one appeared not to notice his physical appeal. She intrigued him; held mystery.
‘I’ll see you again, after surgery; just to check that all is going well,’ he promised himself as much as her. With this he gave her one more searching look then asked: ‘Do you have someone to take you home and bring you tomorrow?’
‘Yes, yes … I think so, thank you.’ She was thinking rapidly. Could she get hold of Sidonie to drive her over tomorrow? She finished work at noon, she knew that. But then she would take off for the day, not expecting to get a call from her this late.
Dr. Jamieson helped her out and the nurse took over. Devon jumped up as soon as she saw them and crossed to the desk. ‘So, what’s the story?’ she enquired anxiously.
Tenille pulled a face. ‘Not ’til Saturday.’ She had paperwork to complete before leaving. ‘I have to wait ’til tomorrow afternoon to be admitted.’
‘Still, that’s better than next week,’ Devon amended. ‘C’est la vie.’
Tenille shrugged and sighed. ‘Well, c’est ma vie, just now,’ she emphasized dolefully.
‘It’s home then?’
‘Yes, nothing to be done ’til tomorrow. I’ll have time to make phone calls and let my mom know I’m here and not with you guys.’
‘How will you manage tomorrow?’ Devon worried. ‘We take off in the early evening, but I could come by for you if I get time off work, which I’m pretty sure I can.’
Tenille had to turn her full attention to the nurse who was going through the procedure for admission. Devon stood and watched, lost in her own train of thought. She regretted she was going away and wouldn’t be in town for the next two weeks. Tenille would probably need someone to lean on and she would have liked it to be her. This would have been a chance to show her good side and perhaps get over the bad patch she’d been going through with her recently. Well, it wasn’t exactly a bad patch. She wasn’t like that. But to get close to her again. Now she supposed that other girl would be hanging about. She couldn’t see what she saw in her; so unsophisticated and quite lacking in feminine charms. Again she asked how she’d manage, keeping her voice as innocent as possible. ‘Have you got anyone who can help you while I’m gone?’
‘Oh yes, Dev. Mr. Sandrelli will probably run me over tomorrow. I know Mrs. S. won’t let me starve.’ She laughed. ‘Anyway, I’ve still got one good leg and I don’t want to inconvenience you any more than I have already.’
‘Ten, don’t say that. You know I’m only too happy to be able to help you, any way I can.’ Her voice took on a petulant tone as she added: ‘What are friends for if they can’t help out in a time of need.’ She didn’t want someone else muscling in. It should be her.
The nurse said: ‘Doctor has given you a prescription for pain in case you have trouble sleeping. Now I must measure you for crutches.’ Tenille wasn’t happy about this development but, of course, it had to be. Already her body felt tired from trying to keep her weight off the bad leg. She was shown how to use crutches, ordinary wooden ones.
‘After the operation,’ she explained, ‘the physiotherapist will show you how to use them in a variety of situations, since you’ll be on them for quite some …’
‘Yes, I know,’ Tenille interrupted, frustration making her impatient. She remembered learning to use them during her nurse’s training. At that time she had never thought to see the day she would be using them for real. It was almost midnight. As they drove back to the apartment Devon continued to quiz her about how she would manage, but she really couldn’t think everything through. Work would have to be informed … must fill her parents in on all the details, such as they were. It was too late for Sidonie.
Outside #226, Devon said: ‘Okay, I can tell you’ve had enough. How about I call you tomorrow from work and see how you’re doing. Does that sound like a goo
d idea?’ She went into park.
‘Yes, that’s it, Dev. I’ll have a better handle on what’s happening by then.’ She lapsed into silence as Devon made busy collecting her gear.
Thoughts were spinning in her brain, the impact of the situation finally hitting hard; implications and ramifications beginning to loom enormous. As she looked for keys, she knew Mrs. Sandrelli would have to be told. She was expecting her to be gone … but not to the hospital.
‘I hate to leave you like this,’ Devon complained, ‘but I’ve still a fair bit to do before take off.’
‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. I’ll go to bed now and tomorrow will be soon enough to make all the necessary phone calls. Then I’ll be in the capable hands of the nursing staff.’ She tilted her head across to the tall woman who had closed up the closet and now was looking at her worriedly, where she lay. ‘You go on this tour Dev. Have a wonderful time.’ She dropped her voice and added, slowly: ‘I wish I were going too, but sometimes things are just not meant to be.’
Devon approached her and standing really close looked down into the sleepy depths of her eyes. ‘I’m sorry you won’t be with us too, Ten. I’ll miss you. I’d been looking forward to spending our days together … you know, like in the beginning.’ She stopped, but continued to stare at Tenille. The latter was surprised to see a flush rise to the pale cheeks and reached out to touch her. Instantly, Devon’s arms were around her and she felt herself assailed by the other woman’s tumultuous emotion. She wanted to draw away; she was being submerged in a wave of longing in which she had no part. It made her feel swamped; airless.
‘Dev … Dev, take it easy. We’ll see each other when you get back. Remember, I’m not going anywhere.’ She drew herself a little apart and looked at her friend genuinely. ‘Dev, I want to thank you so much for your help tonight. You know I couldn’t have managed without you. You’ll always have a special place in my heart.’ She took a deep breath: ‘Go now, it’s late. You still have lots to do. I’ll be fine.’ She gave a reassuring smile up into the concerned face. ‘Have a good trip. Come back and tell me all about it.’
Devon released her grip a little and leaned forward to brush her lips against Tenille’s. She knew she had to hold back on her feelings. Now was not the time to go over the top.
‘You’re right Ten. I hope your night will go well. No pain. I’ll call you.’ With that she opened the door and passed through. Tenille heard her footsteps springing lightly up the stairs and fade into a faint tapping down the hallway. Left alone she gave a wistful sigh. How Devon had changed. If only she had been like this over New Year’s. She sighed again. No, it wouldn’t have worked. She had been too much of an innocent then. She had needed Devon to help her mature and was a different person now. They could not have made a go of it, so really there was no point in regretting the past. She had enough to deal with in the present without mourning over lost love.
* * *
Tenille’s first telephone call was to work. They knew, of course she would be away for a while, but she had been expected into work that day. Phyllis was most solicitous and glad she wasn’t suffering.
‘So how long will you be off now?’ she wondered.
‘I’m not sure. But I have to have my leg up for a while and then be non-weight bearing on crutches for a few weeks. If you’ll let me hop around the store on them, I’ll return as soon as I’m able to manage. Unemployment insurance will cover me ’til then.
‘Don’t rush back too soon. I want you to take good care of yourself.’
The next call was to her mother. She’d not been looking forward to this. ‘Hi, Mom,’ she began, as brightly as possible: ‘It’s me.’
Doris had had a busy week with entertaining scheduled for that evening. Already feeling frazzled, (and God knew Alex would be no help at all), she didn’t appreciate this interruption.
‘What are you doing calling me this time of day?’
‘I know Mom, but I have something to tell you.’
Instantly, Doris was on the alert and premonition told her it would be news she’d not like. ‘What is it? Have you had an accident?’
‘Well, not as bad as that, but I do have to go into hospital for a few days.’
‘Oh, Tennie, what’s happened?’ Doris was now full of motherly concern.
‘It’s okay, really,’ she hastened to reassure her. ‘I’m not in a bad way or anything like that. It’s just that I’ve severed my Achilles tendon; the left one.’ Doris gasped. ‘I go in to have it repaired tomorrow. I’m being admitted this afternoon. That’s why I wanted to phone you this morning.’
‘Oh darling, are you all right? When did this happen?’
She could hear her mother’s voice becoming charged with emotion. She didn’t want her to break down; come rushing to her sick bed.
‘I’m fine, Mom. I feel a bit of a fraud. The worst part of all this will be the inconvenience. Not being able to walk for so long.’
‘Yes, of course, you’ll have to use crutches, won’t you?’ Doris thought rapidly. ‘You must come home after it’s done.’ She was moving into her organizational mode. Now she knew her daughter was not dangerously ill, she would enjoy shouldering her dependency. For a while she would have her darling little girl back, relying on her mother; appreciative and loving. The role of most significant person in her life would once more be hers. ‘I’ll get Dad to drive to Toronto and pick you up when you’re discharged. That should be …’
‘Now Mom, hold on,’ Tenille broke in. ‘You’re going too fast.’ This was going to be worse than the grieving mother. She could feel her gearing up, just like the old days; getting ready to take over her life. ‘Let me call you after it’s done and we can take it from there.’ She couldn’t resist saying: ‘I won’t be totally helpless you know.’
Her mother’s voice came down the line deflated. ‘You mean you’ll stay in Toronto, then?’
‘No, I’m not saying that. I’m just not sure yet, how things will be. It’s best to see how it all turns out and what the doctor will and will not let me do. Okay?’ she added, feeling guilty she’d upset her. ‘A day at a time, Mom. Okay?’
‘Yes, of course, you’re right darling. I’m just a bit stretched right now. We’re having the Kohlers over tonight and you know what a strain that husband of hers is. So hard to please. I have to do it though. We owe them.’ She switched back to her daughter’s concerns. ‘Will you get a phone in your room? Daddy will pay for it and then we can be in daily touch.’ This wasn’t really what she wanted, but going along with it would make her mother happy.
‘Yes, I’ll do that, then I’ll call you as soon as my head clears from the anaesthetic.’ She hung up pondering. It would be nice to have the phone … to talk to Sidonie on a regular basis. She couldn’t come downtown all the time. She would leave the message now, whilst she was still up. The foot was beginning to swell and she would have to lie down soon to elevate it. This call was quick and the supervisor of the Residence promised to put a note on her door before her return from the backstretch.
The list was almost complete, the last item being to inform Mrs. Sandrelli of the new developments. After a quick tap on the living room door, she hopped into the kitchen, sure she would find her there. Mrs. Sandrelli lived her life around food, one way or the other it seemed.
‘Sit down, Cara,’ Serafina smiled at her, not having observed her mode of entry. ‘Did you take the day off to get ready for your trip? Here’s a freshly brewed coffee.’ She turned and placed a steaming, glass mug before her and Tenille helped herself to milk from the carton. She thought idly how her mother would never allow this. Milk always had to be decanted into the creamer and consequently there was never enough.
‘No Mrs. Sandrelli, I’m not going on the tour.’ She took a sip of the hot brew, savoring the rich taste and let the information sink in. Serafina turned away from the counter and looked at her visitor incredulously.
‘Not going. What do you mean, not going? Why not?’
‘I’ve sev––, cut the tendon to my heel. I have to go into hospital this afternoon to have it sewed back together again.’
‘Oh, you poor bambina.’ She went over and put her arms around her shoulders. ‘What a disappointment for you,’ she soothed: ‘Did you cry? Does it hurt?’
‘The answer is no to both questions,’ she smiled up at her.
What a lovely daughter she would have made, Serafina thought, looking down at Tenille’s face; the open expression, the slight lift to the corners of her mouth as the smile wanted to break out into laughter.
‘It’s not as bad as that Mrs. Sandrelli. I am disappointed not to be part of the troupe. I was very much looking forward to it, but I also think that perhaps I was being pushed a little too fast. Perhaps this is for the best? I don’t know.’ She sighed deeply and looked down at her left foot. ‘Anyway, I’m resigned to my changed circs. and, thank goodness, have no real pain, at least, not at the moment. It’s more like an ache sometimes. That’s really because I’m not using my leg naturally and the muscles are getting tired.’
‘How brave you are, Tenille.’ Serafina hugged her again. She made her feel very much cared for. She really was fond of Mrs. Sandrelli.
‘I’m going to rest my leg now. I’m expecting a call about noon. Will you be here to let me know, if I can’t reach the phone fast enough?’
‘Yes Bambina. I’m home all day, today.’ A dark frown crossed her face. ‘How will you get to the hospital? Is it far? Can you take a taxi?’
‘That’s what the call is for. I think a friend of mine will come pick me up.’ With that, she pushed herself away from the table, thanking the older woman for the refreshment.
She appreciated the chance to stretch out on the bed and take time for herself. She had planned to read, but after all the events of the previous evening and her brittle sleep of the night before, it wasn’t long before the book dropped and she fell into a fitful dose. The next thing she knew, Mrs. Sandrelli was knocking at her door, telling her her friend was on the line. It was natural to jump up to rush to take the call, but once on her feet she remembered her ankle. From now on it must be hopping with the crutches. Grabbing them, she called out her thanks. At the phone she was breathless, not yet being adept in the use of crutches, especially on the stairs, needing to hold the rail and go very slowly. ‘Hidy.’