The Widow's Choice

by Gilbert, Morris

  “Jason, do you have a minute?” she asked, intercepting his path as he came up the stairs.

  “Oh, hello, Alona. Yes, I had to come home and get some papers for the office that I forgot.” He shook his head and a rueful expression crossed his face. “Oscar wasn’t too happy about that.”

  “I’ve been wanting to talk to you. Is now a good time?”

  “Sure.” They went into the parlor and sat in matching armchairs. “What is it?”

  “I’m worried about you, Jason.”

  He blinked with surprise. “What about?”

  “About your drinking.” He had been coming home drunk with some frequency, and even now she could see that he had been drinking the night before by the redness of his eyes.

  He dropped his head, unable to meet her gaze. “I’m worried about it too. It gets the best of me sometimes. Nobody hates me worse than I do for that.”

  “You shouldn’t hate yourself. I certainly don’t hate you, Jason.” She leaned closer and put her hand on his arm. “You’ve done so much for the boys, and I’ve become very fond of you.” Alona, in all honesty, knew she had strong feelings for this man. But being a woman of strict morals, she had gone to great lengths to conceal this from Jason. She was usually careful to not even think about her attraction to him. “And the boys love you,” she continued. “I’ve asked you this before, but don’t you think it might be better if you left this place? It’s not good for you to work for Oscar. I know he did a lot for you when you were younger, and he pulled you out of trouble after your crash. But he’s not the kind of man who can sympathize with weakness.”

  “You’re right about that.” Jason was very conscious of her hand on his arm and started to speak, but at that moment Mrs. Darrow stuck her head into the room.

  “There’s a phone call for you, Mrs. Moran.”

  Instantly Alona dropped her hand. “I’ll be right there. Thank you, Jason. Do what you can about the matter.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  As he left, Alona saw Mrs. Darrow watch him. Without a doubt, she would be telling Oscar the two had been caught alone in the parlor again.

  ****

  As soon as Jason stepped into Oscar’s office, he knew a storm was brewing. Oscar had been silent all day, but he had summoned Jason to his office and now he sat at his desk, his eyes as hard as flint.

  “You wanted to see me, Oscar?”

  “Yes, I wanted to see you.” The words were flat and hard. “I’ve tried to be a help to you, Jason, but evidently that doesn’t mean much to you.”

  Jason tried to think what could have stirred up Oscar this time. “You have been a help to me. I’ve never denied that.”

  “You don’t act like it.”

  “What have I done now?” The words came out more bitterly than Jason intended. He had been through this scene many times, and he had no desire to go through it again.

  “I’ve overlooked your drinking and your being unable to carry out your duties here at the foundry, but I can’t overlook what you’ve been doing in my home.”

  An alarm went off in Jason’s mind. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said flatly.

  “I’m talking about the attention you pay to Alona.”

  “Why, that’s crazy! I’ve nothing but respect for her.”

  “Is that why you meet with her in private every chance you get?”

  “I don’t go out of my way and neither does she.”

  “That’s not true. Mrs. Darrow tells me you two are together all the time. You’re an ingrate, Jason, and I’m not going to put up with it any longer.”

  “What does that mean?” he asked, although he knew Oscar was not a man given to idle threats.

  “I mean I want you out of my house.”

  “All right. I’ll get out today.”

  “And I don’t want you in this foundry. I want you out of my life.”

  Jason stood staring at his half brother, and suddenly he was so tired of his own problems that he could hardly speak. He said in the sparest of tones, “All right. I’ll be out of the house tonight, and you won’t see me around here again. Thanks for all you’ve done for me, Oscar.” He left the office, his mouth dry and his stomach in turmoil. All of his life he had been afraid of Oscar, and now it had come to this. “If that’s what he wants,” he mumbled, “then he can have it.”

  ****

  “What do you mean you fired him?”

  “I was sick of his pestering you. I asked him to get out of the house, and I don’t want him in the foundry.”

  “Oscar, you shouldn’t have done that! He needs your help.”

  “I’ve given him my help, but he’s broken trust with me. You think I don’t see how you two look at each other?”

  “Well, it’s finally out in the open. You actually said it,” Alona said.

  “Yes. Can you deny it?”

  “Of course I can deny it! I’m your wife, and I’ve been faithful to you in every way. You’ve made a mistake, Oscar, a bad mistake. It’s not too late. Go to him and tell him you’re sorry.”

  “Never.”

  “I feel sorry for you, Oscar,” she said quietly. “You have no mercy for anyone who disagrees with your thinking.”

  As she left the room, Oscar felt an urge to go after her, to tell her he’d changed his mind, for he was already having second thoughts, but his pride prevented him from doing that. He slowly left the house, not knowing where he was going, only that he needed to get away.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Redemption of a Man

  As soon as Tim stepped into the parlor, Alona knew that something was bothering him. She had learned to read this sensitive son of hers very well. He always had certain telltale signs when he was disturbed, and she read every one of them now as he halted irresolutely in the middle of the room.

  “Come and sit by me, Tim. We haven’t talked in a long time.”

  Tim came over to the couch and sat down slowly. Alona knew she would have to pull out whatever it was that was bothering him.

  “You’ve done so much better in school this year,” she started. “I’m very proud of you.”

  “At least I’m passing math this year. That ought to make Oscar happy.”

  “I’m sure it will.” When he didn’t say anything else, she said, “You haven’t mentioned Helen much lately. Do you still like her?”

  “Yeah. I still like her.” He grinned and color filled his cheeks. “She’s real good with horses, Mom. You should see her ride.”

  “I’d like to do that sometime.”

  He fell silent again.

  “Anything else going on?”

  His lips drew together in a tight line. “Mom, why did Oscar make Jason leave the house? Why did he fire him at the foundry?”

  Alona had been dreading this question but up until now had managed to say nothing to anyone. She wasn’t sure how much of the truth she should give her son. “They had a disagreement. I think it was the wrong thing to do, and I said so.”

  “But what did Jason do?”

  “You know, Tim, it’s not a good idea to get involved with other people’s arguments.”

  “Well, I don’t think it’s fair! Do you know that Jason’s living in a ratty old room and that he’s drinking all the time?”

  “No, I didn’t know that. How did you hear it?”

  “Everybody knows it. They just don’t tell you. Mom, I . . . I went to see him. As soon as I heard about it, I went to see him. I’ve been back three times. It’s awful, Mom. That place is a dump.”

  “I’m not sure that was wise for you to do.”

  “You stood up for Mr. Short in church. Everybody knows about that, so why wouldn’t it be the right thing for me to stand up for my friend?”

  Alona had absolutely no answer for that. As a matter of fact, she felt proud of Tim, but she was walking a narrow line. “It’s a tricky situation. We’re living under Oscar’s roof. He’s my husband, and now he’s in the place of you
r father.”

  “But he’s wrong, Mom.”

  “I think it was a mistake, but Oscar doesn’t think so.”

  “Well, I think it’s terrible! He’s his only brother, pretty much his only kin, and he kicked him out like he was a bum. I know Jason has problems, but he’s a good man.”

  “Yes, he is. A very good man. And yes, he does have problems, so we’ve got to pray for him, Tim.”

  Tim hesitated, fidgeting with his fingers.

  “Is there something else bothering you?”

  “Well, no not something else. Jason is sick. I went to see him this morning, and he was so sick he didn’t even want to get out of bed, and he won’t call a doctor. I tried to get him to let me go get Dr. Roberts, and he refused. It’s awful, Mom. It’s terrible!”

  Alona’s mind was racing. “Tim, I don’t want you to go back.”

  “But, Mom!”

  “You don’t need to make a bigger rift between you and your stepfather. I’ll go see him. If he’s still sick, I’ll get Dr. Roberts to stop by.”

  “Will you, Mom?” Tim asked, his eyes shining.

  “Yes, I will, but this is just between you and me. Don’t even talk to the other boys about it.”

  “Okay, Mom. I won’t.”

  ****

  The note tacked to the outside door said “Come in,” so Alona opened the door cautiously. The rooming house was in the worst area of town. Now she could smell the odor of cabbage and other more unsavory smells. She noticed the list of tenants’ names, along with their room numbers, and she quickly spotted Jason’s name.

  She went up the stairs and found room two and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, she knocked again and said, “Jason, are you there?” She put her ear against the door and thought she heard a sound. Tentatively she tried the knob. The door was not locked, so she opened it and stepped inside. A single bulb hung from an overhead fixture, illuminating the squalor of the room. Jason was lying on a single bed, his eyes closed, and he had evidently not shaved for days. The room smelled terrible, and Jason looked terrible. His cheeks were sunken, and his face was flushed.

  “Jason,” Alona said and stepped closer. “Are you all right?” He twitched and then his head moved from side to side. His eyes opened slowly.

  “Who . . .who is it?” he whispered hoarsely.

  “It’s me, Jason. Alona.” She pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down beside him. “How long have you been sick?”

  “Don’t know.” He coughed several times. “Four days . . . five.”

  She put her hand on his forehead. “You’re burning up with fever. Have you seen a doctor?”

  “No. Don’t want a doctor.”

  Alona did not argue. “I’ll be back.”

  “What for?” he asked bitterly. “Don’t bother.”

  She did not answer but left the rooming house and immediately went to Dr. Roberts’s office. She had to wait for half an hour before she got in to see him.

  “My brother-in-law is very sick, Doctor,” she told him, “and he won’t come in to see you. Can you come with me to see him?”

  “I’ll get my bag,” he responded without hesitation.

  * * *

  “Tell me how you’re feeling, Jason.” The doctor pulled a chair up close to the bedside while Alona watched from the far side of the room.

  “I’m feeling pretty lousy,” he responded.

  “I figured that much, but give me some specifics. Start from the beginning.

  “At first I thought I had a cold. But then it got worse and—” He started coughing. “I guess you noticed I have a cough,” he said when he could speak again. “I’m hot. And my chest hurts—right here.” He laid his hand on his chest.

  “All right. Let’s have a listen.” He put his stethoscope on Jason’s chest and then helped him sit up so he could listen from the back.

  “Um-hmm. I think you’ve got a touch of pneumonia. You’re going to need to get plenty of rest and drink lots of water and juice. You should start to feel better in a couple days.”

  Alona moved closer to the bedside. “I’ll take good care of you, Jason.”

  “Excellent,” the doctor said. “I’ll come back and check on you tomorrow. Don’t die on me.”

  “I will if I want to.”

  The doctor laughed. “I don’t think you will.”

  When he left, Alona asked, “Are you hungry?”

  “I don’t know. I guess not much.”

  “I’m going to get you something from the café—some soup, a drink, and some ice.”

  “The ice would be good,” Jason said, adjusting the sheet over himself. “You shouldn’t be here, Alona. I’ve caused enough trouble between you and Oscar.”

  “I’ll be back shortly,” she said, ignoring his comment.

  When the door closed, Jason lay staring at the ceiling. “Here I go again,” he mumbled, “making more trouble for people.”

  ****

  Oscar was waiting for Alona when she got home that afternoon. “Is it true what I’ve heard?” he demanded.

  “What have you heard?” she asked coolly.

  “That you’re nursing Jason in a run-down rooming house in the worst part of town.”

  “No, it’s not true, although I do intend to do whatever I can to help him get better.”

  “So you’ve been there.”

  “Yes, I’ve been there, and I’m going back again.”

  “I forbid you to go!”

  “You can forbid it all you want to, Oscar, but I think you’re wrong again. You should be helping Jason. You’re his brother.”

  “I won’t have it.”

  “Then you’ll have to do what you want to do. Throw me out if that’s what you want, but I’m going to continue to do the right thing.”

  “You’ve always cared for him!”

  “That’s nonsense, Oscar. You’re not thinking clearly.” She saw his face was turning redder, and she said, “This stress isn’t good for your heart. Look, I can’t convince you that Jason and I are nothing more than good friends. You ought to believe it because it’s true.”

  Oscar stared at her, a vein throbbing in his forehead. “I’m sorry I married you,” he whispered.

  Alona almost said, I’m sorry too, but instead she said, “Go lie down. This stress isn’t good for you. I’m taking the spare bedroom.”

  “That will be up to you,” he said evenly as he left the room. She watched him leave, then shook her head in a swift denial of the way things were turning out. But there was nothing she could do about it.

  ****

  Jason was feeling a little better the next day. Dr. Roberts was pleasantly surprised, and he told Alona, “He may feel like getting back to his normal activities in a couple days. Make sure he takes it easy until he’s completely better.”

  “I wish you wouldn’t talk about me as if I weren’t here,” he said grumpily.

  “You just concentrate on taking care of yourself and getting healthy.”

  As soon as Dr. Roberts left, Jason said, “Why don’t you go on home? I’m as grumpy as an old bear. It couldn’t be any fun for you to be here.”

  “I’m going to stay until you drink that big glass of orange juice.”

  “That’s going to take a few minutes, so you might as well take a seat.”

  Alona sat down and the conversation turned to her boys. “Carl is getting so tall,” she commented. “I think he’s grown an inch just since school started.”

  When Jason made no response, she said, “Jason?” Still no response. He was clasping his hands tightly together. “What’s bothering you, Jason?”

  He jerked his head toward her. “Sorry. I guess I wasn’t listening.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “You know, for a time there, I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it. I thought I might die.”

  “But you didn’t, and the doctor says you’re going to be fine.”

  “Yes, thanks to you. I had some pretty vivid dreams while I was feverish. Scary ones.
” He looked down at his hands. “I’m tired of the way I’ve been living, Alona.”

  His statement made her ears perk up. She had been praying to hear him say this. “Then you can change, Jason.”

  “I’m not sure I can.”

  “You can with God’s help.”

  “It’s hard to believe that God still cares for me after the way I’ve lived.”

  “Jesus is the friend of sinners. That means He’s our friend, for we’re all sinners.” She quoted some Scriptures and spoke from her heart about how God had always provided for her and her family. She related the story of Paul and his amazing conversion from going out of his way to persecute believers to turning his life over to Christ completely.

  “I know all about Paul,” Jason reminded her. “But sometimes his story seems like something that happened so long ago. It’s hard to believe that God can forgive me in the same way now—in modern times.”

  “Would you like me to pray with you, Jason?”

  He looked up, and she saw tears in his eyes.

  She folded her hands and closed her eyes. “Lord, I ask that you would receive Jason. Forgive his sins. Take him as your own and deliver him from all of the difficulties that have beset him. I pray especially that you would give him strength, that he might become a strong man of God. I know it will be hard for him, but walk beside him every step of the way as he grows in grace.” She continued praying fervently for this friend and finally concluded with an enthusiastic amen.

  Tears were running down his cheeks. She got out her handkerchief and handed it to him.

  “I don’t know how I’m going to make it, Alona, but I know that God did something to me while you were praying.”

  “I know he did. And I’m so glad.” She took her handkerchief back. “I’ll be praying for you and others will be too.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  A Distant Thunder

  Alona rose to her feet with the rest of the congregation after Brother Byron’s sermon.

  “I have presented unto you the Lord Jesus Christ,” he was saying, “as the one who can save you from your sins, and now I want to give you an opportunity. If you want to follow Jesus Christ as your personal savior, as we sing this invitational hymn, I ask you to come forward and give your life to Him publicly.