Broken Wings (Contemporary Romance)

by D. G. Torrens

  Angelina sat up and pushed Joshua down beneath her; she sat across him, one leg either side of his body, and reciprocated, kissing him all over before he could stand it no longer. Excitement taking over, he climbed on top of her and slowly entered her, they moved symmetrically, in perfect rhythm, kissing each other with such passion before coming to orgasm together.

  “You have no idea how much I have been dreaming about this moment, feeling your naked body next to mine, kissing your beautiful lips. I want to wake up with you and see your beautiful face on the pillow next to mine in the morning,” Joshua confessed. “By the way, have I told you how much I love you?”

  Angelina rolled over and lay on top of Joshua's naked body, kissing him gently around his neck. “I love you, Joshua. I am so in love with you it hurts.”

  They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms, each one consumed by love for the other, holding on to one another as if their lives depended on it. The following morning, Joshua woke first and crept out of bed, leaving Angelina to sleep. He watched her silently for a moment before pulling the sheet over her naked body and heading down the stairs, full of happiness. He wondered how he'd ever got so lucky, what had he done to deserve such a wonderful woman? He sat down with a coffee in hand and looked out of the window on to the lake in the distance. Six months was a long time; he had his own fears but not ones he wished to share with Angelina. He wouldn't be human if he did not have fears. He was well aware anything could happen out there and it already had to so many soldiers. His thoughts drifted back to the fateful day he lost his best friend Jason. He needed to make the next two weeks count; he wanted to take every single moment away with him.

  Angelina made her way sleepily down the stairs, wrapped in just a white cotton sheet and her hair all dishevelled.

  “Good morning, gorgeous, how did you sleep?” asked Joshua as she snuggled up next to him, taking his coffee from him and wrapping her hands around it before taking a sip.

  “I could stay here forever like this, just the two of us undisturbed and away from the world for a while. It's kind of a magical place, one I will always view as our special place.” Angelina put the coffee down and wrapped her arms around Joshua's neck.

  “Look Angelina, there is something I need to tell you about what it is I actually do in the Army. You already know I am in the bomb specialist unit. What my job entails out there is this; we make areas safe in peace time, disarm mines, and when out on operations, we sweep the roads and land and disarm as many as possible. Believe me, it's not the most dangerous job in the Army, the riflemen have the most dangerous job. We all play our part, we're cautious and what we do saves lives. I just wanted you to be fully aware of my position out there, okay. I promised you no secrets, and I wanted you to know that I will never ever lie to you.”

  Angelina walked into the kitchen; she was not sure how to respond. He had mentioned he was a bomb disposal expert but she just did not want to hear it. All she kept hearing was the word “bomb”; as far as she was concerned, it didn't get more dangerous than that. She didn't care what he said. She was more worried than ever, knowing what his job entailed. It never truly registered before that he would be dealing with bombs almost daily out there. She could not help but think of the worst case scenario. She felt uneasy, almost sick knowing in two weeks, he would be dealing with bombs and mines and God knows what else. Struggling to contain her feelings, she ran upstairs and lay down on the bed, swiftly followed by a concerned Joshua.

  “Please Angelina, don't be sad. I know how you’re feeling, I have seen it in the eyes of my men's partners over the years. But there really is no need to worry about me out there. I have been doing this a long time and I am very aware of the danger we face on a daily basis; that's why we are the best at what we do. It's just a job and one I am very good at. You have to believe in me, okay,” pleaded Joshua.

  “I do believe in you, it's just really hard to take in, Joshua. I didn't see it coming when we met at all and I'm still coming to terms with the nature of your job and the danger you can be placed in at any time. I mean, for God’s sake, it's not like you are an office worker or a bus driver in the centre of town, is it?” cried Angelina. “But that said, I promise you I'm fine and I will cope just like all the other women have to when their men are posted abroad.” She reassured him, not quite believing her own words but wanting Joshua to believe them with all her heart. The last thing she needed was to pile a load of emotional guilt onto him before he started his tour. She decided she was going to be strong and had to accept this was a part of her life if she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She would just have to deal with it, however hard it got. And whenever she needed a good cry, she knew she could rely on Lucy to hear her out over a bottle of wine.

  Chapter Sixteen (present day)

  Over the course of the next two weeks, Angelina and Joshua spent every waking minute together; they went for long walks, hiked and climbed. Lake Windermere provided them with everything they needed to entertain themselves. They coupled up with Lucy and Richard for meals and went on the odd day trip together. The final two days before Joshua had to leave for Camp Bastion in Afghanistan, they locked themselves away once more in the lodge. They decided to make their last night a special one and one they would never forget.

  They stood naked in the shimmering cool water; the warm March night was calm and still, unusual for the time of year. The moon shone beams of light onto the vast lake, shadowing the curves of their naked bodies. Neither one said a word as they looked deep into each other’s sad eyes, their united silence saying so much. Angelina did not want to let him go, fearing she would never see him again.

  Joshua smiled. “I will come back to you, I promise.”

  Angelina placed her head on his chest, tears falling down her reddened cheeks. “I could not bear it if I never saw you again. Please don't go,” she pleaded with all her heart.

  “I have no choice. You knew when we met that this would be a possibility, Angelina. I will be back before you know it. This is my duty as a soldier, I have to go, this is what I do.”

  She felt her heart closing in, the tightness was suffocating her. All those young men who never made it home alive… She did not want her Joshua to be one of them. However, she also understood that he needed to go, along with the rest of his men. This knowledge did not make it any easier to bear. She had a bad feeling about this posting in a way she didn’t have with the other one. Angelina just could not shake it off. Joshua had hated having to inform Angelina that he was being posted to Afghanistan. He had an urge to share his inner fears with her but he held off, knowing this would make his leaving far harder for her to deal with.

  This was their last night together and they decided to spend it down by the lake, their very special place. This was where they had spent their first official date together. That first date had sealed their rare and irrevocable feelings for one another, feelings that could not be denied. They had never looked back. When they were together, it was as if the rest of the world didn't exist and time stood still, just for them. Joshua had fought his feelings with all that he had, not wanting to get involved with anyone, knowing he was being posted soon. But the draw was too strong and the fight was over before it began. He was mesmerized by her. Angelina was deep and sensitive; the suffer-in-silence type. He liked that about her. She was unlike anyone he had ever known, she understood him in a way no one else ever had before.

  Angelina wanted to hold Joshua, never let him go and keep him safe from harm. She held him so tight as if her own life depended on it. “I love you so much Joshua, please come back to me.” She was crying uncontrollably now, her head buried in his chest. He took off his ring that was passed down to him by his grandfather many years before and placed it on her finger. “I promise you when I return I will make you my wife.” With that, Joshua kissed her gently on the lips. He hated leaving her; he knew this was as hard for her as it was for him.

  “Joshua, when you’re gone, time stands sti
ll until you return to me. I can’t move forward or backward. I can’t sleep because of worrying about you. There are so many soldiers returning back home in boxes. Every time I turn on the TV, there is a news item about a young soldier not making it back alive, the family left behind, tormented by their grief.”

  “Last week, there were two soldiers from the West Midlands who were killed by a road side bomb in Afghanistan. What if that happens to you, Joshua? I know the loss you suffered on your first tour of Afghanistan; that could so easily have been you. You are my very reason for existing so you better come back to me. Do you hear me?”

  Joshua looked into Angelina’s beautiful almond eyes. He wrapped his large arms around her and held Angelina tight. “I love you with all my heart. I promise I will return to you and then I will be back for good. I will not be extending, I promise you, and it’s only six months. It will fly by. I promise I will write to you all the time.” Angelina could not control the flood of tears falling down her pale cheeks, she could hardly breathe, fearing this could be the last time she ever saw him alive. Joshua ran his finger slowly over the small scar etched into her right eyebrow. He held her face in the palm of his large hands and kissed it, brushing the tears from her sodden cheeks. He felt her pain. He was feeling it too. No words could take it away; it was something they had to endure together until his return.

  They lay on the bank together side by side with nothing but the glistening stars and the glow from the moon as cover. Their silence was a comfortable one, one that could only be shared by two souls that truly understood each other completely. Angelina turned her head towards Joshua. She looked at him intently, taking in every inch of him, searching his face as if discovering him for the first time. Her heart was beating so hard she feared it would burst. Joshua sensed her anxiety and pulled her to him. “Angelina, we have to go now. I wish I could stay here like this with you, but I have just five hours before I have to report in.”

  He was hurting now, feeling the pull of his heart. He had to be strong for Angelina and he did not want to make his departure any harder for her than it was already. “Joshua, I want you to write me whenever you can. I want to know how you’re feeling out there, what you are going through, I want to know everything, I need to feel close to you as if I am right there with you. Please promise me you will do that for me?”

  Joshua held her face in the palm of his hands. His eyes were glistening and this did not go unnoticed. “I promise, darling.” He pulled her to him tightly, holding her as if for the last time. They stood up, his hand entwined in hers as they made their way back to his car.

  Thoughts of his last tour in Afghanistan ran amok through Joshua’s tormented mind. He had something more to fear this time, not making it back to his Angelina. He knew this was a distinct possibility as one in six soldiers were either killed or wounded in action. Bomb disposal experts were in higher demand than ever in Afghanistan, with over one thousand new bombs planted every day. Afghanistan had become an IED war. The large number of bombs was seriously disrupting NATO operations in the country.

  He now knew how all the other soldiers felt when they had to leave their loved ones behind for such a long time. This was the very thing he had avoided for years for this very reason. “You okay, Josh?”

  “Just thinking, sweetheart. I am fine, don’t worry about me, okay? I just need to know you will be strong for me.” Joshua threw her a pleading look, one that needed no answer. This was going to be the longest time they had spent apart. His first tour of Afghanistan had taken place way before he had met Angelina; he had been deployed there for six months. This time was going to be so different; he had found his soul mate, the very person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He now had someone to miss, to ache for and this worried him. Being touched by Angelina’s love had changed his perception completely. He knew only a few people experienced this kind of rare love, the passion, the whisper of a thrill, the calling in your heart that takes a hold of you and won’t let you go, the angst that true soul mates suffer once they are apart. He was totally consumed by her and could not bear the thought of being away from her for so long.

  His mind was already made up; he would not re-enlist in the Army. He had served his country well and now it was his time to live and to view the world from a more positive standpoint. This was his last posting, and he knew it was going to be is hardest one. He was sick and tired of war, death, and destruction; he was ready to settle down and guide his life in a new direction. He liked the thought of walking on unchartered ground and changing his life.

  They packed their bags and closed up the lodge. Joshua handed Angelina a key should she ever want to stay at the lodge and write at weekends. They climbed into Joshua's car, neither one saying a word. They were both feeling the same, and in less than an hour, they would be parted for six months. Angelina had been hiding her tears for most of the morning. She wanted to be strong for Joshua and send him away happy, sporting a smile.

  “So tell me, what's it like out there in Camp Bastion?” she asked anxiously. “Well, Camp Bastion is a sprawling, well-fortified British-run base in the desert of southern Afghanistan, home to almost 30,000 military personnel and civilians. That's where I will based for the most part, except for when I am out on operations. I'm guessing it will be much the same as it was the first time I was out there, so at least I know what to expect.”

  “Please don't worry, okay? The time will pass before you know it, Angelina, and as I mentioned earlier, I don't plan on extending my term in the British Army. So a year from now, I will be all yours. I will write whenever I can. I expect many letters from you in return and I want you to keep me updated of what's happening back here in the UK while I'm away, okay?”

  Joshua pulled up outside Angelina’s house; he turned off the ignition and climbed out of the car. Angelina, already making her way up the path, turned to him. “I have something I want you to take with you tomorrow. You have to promise me you will not open it until you arrive at Camp Bastion.”

  Angelina unlocked the door to her small cottage and turned the lights on as she entered the dark hallway. “I cannot stay, Angelina; I have not got much time left so please come here.”

  Slowly she walked towards him; he pulled her close and held her tight. He pressed his lips to hers, and then Angelina buried her head in his chest, no longer able to contain her tears. “I’m sorry; you know how much I hate our goodbyes.” She reached for the envelope from her the mantelpiece and handed it to him. “Remember, do not open it.”

  Smiling, he kissed her once more and then headed out the door.

  Angelina watched as Joshua pulled away, she had a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach. She ran into her cottage and buried her head in the cushion on the sofa. Watching him drive away once more, knowing she would not see him for six months, felt like she'd just been punched in the stomach. It was the telephone ringing thirty minutes later that encouraged Angelina to raise her head.

  “Angelina, it's Lucy, I'm coming over, okay. I know how hard it is for you today, I just heard from Richard. I had no idea he was going on a second tour, none of us did. I know how you must be feeling so I thought we could spend the afternoon together and guess what? I am cooking! See you in around twenty minutes, okay.” Lucy rang off and Angelina went to the bathroom to wash her face and pull herself together. She threw on an old blue sweater and a pair of sweat pants before taking up her previous position with the cushion on the couch.

  As promised, Lucy was ringing the doorbell almost twenty minutes later and Angelina welcomed her visit with open arms. Lucy was just what she needed right now. She wasn't going to tell Lucy about their impromptu engagement for now; she wanted to keep it to herself for a while longer. She watched Lucy as she started to empty the contents of her bag onto the kitchen table.

  “I have a bag of goodies here to tempt your appetite, and just in case you were all out, I have a bottle of red too.” Angelina popped the cork and poured two large glasses, watching as Lu
cy went about preparing dinner for the two of them.

  “You really don't have to do this, Lucy. Is Richard okay with you coming over? I mean, you didn't have plans or anything, did you?”

  “Not at all, and Richard is fine. In fact, he encouraged my visit over here today, so stop worrying and get that wine down your neck!”

  Angelina smiled and took a gulp of her wine. “Lucy, how am I going to cope without him for so long? My heart hurts so much already. It's March and I won't get to see him until early September at the earliest. Trust me to fall in love with a soldier.”

  Lucy carried on cooking and lent her ear to Lucy as she talked and let all her feelings out. “You will cope, Angelina; you're finding it hard right now because you have just spent two whole weeks with him. Like the last time, you will manage fine. Do you remember what I said about how you get to receive and look forward to his letters and how special that was? Well, tell me I was right. You were practically stalking the postman, for goodness sake! You will be fine, and you have all his letters to look forward too.”

  “I know you're right, Lucy. I just never believed I could feel like this, all consumed from the inside out for one single person. I know this is really weird hearing all this from me of all people, but I am so in love with him, Lucy. Joshua makes me feel alive, he makes me feel like I could climb mountains and do practically anything. He has given me wings. I never even entertained the idea of falling in love again until Joshua appeared in my life.”