Broken Wings (Contemporary Romance)

by D. G. Torrens

  Lucy listened to Angelina intently, she kind of envied her. The beginnings of a new love when everything seemed possible. Although she was as much in love with Richard as she was in the beginning, it was now a comfortable love, one that was more bearable on a daily basis. However, she remembered all too well how it felt those first six months, how her tummy flip-flopped every time she saw Richard, every time he called her and she heard his voice down the phone. Those days were heady and heaven sent.

  “Believe it or not, Angelina, I felt just as you are feeling right now when Richard and I first started dating. I just knew he was the one for me. And he still is the one; I hope to marry him and have lots of children and raise our family together.”

  Angelina smiled an endearing smile and walked over to Lucy and gave her a tight hug. “Come on, let me give you a hand with dinner.”

  Lucy and Angelina cooked a scrumptious meal of home-made lasagne with salad followed by chocolate brownies and clotted cream. They talked, laughed and cried for half the night before Lucy left for home.

  Angelina locked up the cottage and headed upstairs for bed. During the night, she woke up several times, tormented by a bad dream. Finally she awoke at seven o’clock in the morning, feeling like she hadn't slept at all. Her dream was playing on her mind; it was so vivid and felt so real. She had dreamt of Joshua during the night, he was in trouble and calling out to her but she couldn't see him, and then his voice disappeared.

  The following few weeks at work passed by uneventfully. Angelina glided through each day on auto pilot, with no interest in what was going on around her. Her heart was heavy and she was missing Joshua with all her being. As the days passed, however, it got easier and she was getting back to some sort of normality. She gradually slipped back into her old routine of working long hours during the week and writing all over the weekend and finding just enough time for her runs.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Angelina's day started off like any other work day, with a familiar rude awakening by her annoying alarm clock followed by the sound of the postman dropping letters through her door. She rushed downstairs and collected her post off the door mat, throwing each letter aside until she saw Joshua's spidery handwriting on a familiar looking envelope. She clutched it tight and opened it hurriedly.

  BFPO 24536

  To my beautiful Angelina,

  Thank you so much for the beautiful poem, I was not expecting that at all! As promised, I did not open the envelope until I reached Camp Bastion. You are very talented, Angelina. I could feel the words you wrote for me. I also received your recent letter; it made my day and filled me with so much hope for our future. You asked for more details about my daily life out here. Well, I can't lie to you, our days are tough. I have been out on two operations so far. The tension out here is palpable and intense.

  Most of the men are in good spirits but missing home, as you can imagine. The letters we receive are what keep us all going, so keep them coming, sweetheart. Every soldier is a target out here; we all have to be super vigilant and rely on each other's skills and alertness because our lives really do depend on each other. The good news filtering through here is that the British army are reducing the number of soldiers they send to Afghanistan and also reducing the numbers already out here.

  So the UK will see more of its soldiers coming home over the next couple of years, which I know will be a welcome relief for the families. I have informed my commanding officer that I will not be extending at the end of the year so my departure from the British Army has been set in motion. I know it's the right decision for me now Angelina. I have given almost a decade of my life to the army. I have seen so much of death and war; I want to see more of life now. What I am going to do once I do leave is a whole new conversation entirely! I was thinking I could lend my hand to a consultancy position or helping the wounded soldiers during their recovery process back home. Who knows right now? Those are just a couple of ideas rolling around in my head at the moment.

  Well, we are three weeks in now, Angelina. I won't be able to write for a few days as I will be out on operations for the next few days and you know what that means. Food via OPRs! Not my favourite choice of menu, but you take what you can get...As always, you will be at the forefront of my mind and I can't wait to hold you and kiss you once more. You are my heart and soul, I love you with all my being and I can't wait to make you my wife.

  Love you always

  Joshua xxx

  Angelina held the letter close to her heart while holding her pendant. She couldn't even begin to imagine what it must be like out there. She was worried, she hated it when he was on operations as this was the most dangerous time for a soldier. Just about anything could happen. But at the same time, Joshua had kept his word; he did not sugar coat anything as promised and kept her updated as much as he was able to on daily life out there, and for this she was grateful.

  Over the weeks since Joshua's departure, Angelina had become almost obsessed with the news, watching every item on Afghanistan that came through. For reasons unknown to her, this made her feel close to Joshua and helped her to understand his surroundings and daily life out there. However, this was also raising her fears, as three more soldiers were returned home following a fatal explosion, all heroes in their own right, all with mourning families left behind to pick up the pieces and make sense of it all.

  She penned another letter to Joshua, only this time she wrote him a poem to accompany it. After re-reading her words several times, she smiled to herself, feeling satisfied with what she'd written.

  Dearest Joshua,

  Thank you for your beautiful letter! But most of all thank you for being so frank about your life out there. It's so good to hear that more soldiers will be coming back home. This has been reported in the press over here too. I wait with great anticipation for your safe return to me and not a single minute passes by without thoughts of you taking up pole position in my head! I have written you a poem so here goes...

  Eternity Bound:

  If I close my eyes for a single moment,

  I can see you in the distance.

  I can smell your natural fragrance,

  Which dares me to step ever closer.

  The world seems to disappear,

  All noise is faded out.

  I reach out to touch your face,

  Our souls forever bind.

  No ordinary love that withers and dies,

  For ours is eternity bound.

  Our souls destined to journey,

  Forever until the end of time.

  If I close my eyes for a single moment

  My dream becomes my reality

  I can see you, touch you and hold your hand

  For our love is eternity bound.

  I hope you liked the poem, I wrote it last week when I couldn't sleep for missing you. Life here is much the same and unchanged. I have almost completed my novel which I'm really excited about. I am thinking about self-publishing it, what do you think? Should I give it a shot? It needs professional editing first so I am going to send it off to an editing company that was recommended to me and then I will take it from there. I feel rather nervous about the whole thing, to be honest, so there is still a lot to consider at the moment. The truth is, Joshua, I am at my happiest when I'm writing. I do love my day job but it's not my dream job or one I hope to do full-time in the future.

  I can't believe we are four weeks in already, just another five months to go. I have you marked down daily on my calendar and I'm counting down the days! Lucy and Richard send their love and suggested we all go away to Prague for a weekend in October on your return. I thought this was a fabulous idea. A weekend away in Europe, the four of us, I think it would be a wonderful weekend, what do you think? I can see us now, standing on the beautiful, 14th century stone “Charles Bridge,” drinking a hot mulled wine! (which, by the way, you can actually buy on the bridge.) They have these quaint stalls selling local produce. Well, at least they did the last time I went a few ye
ars ago. The bridge is one of the city’s finest attractions as it links the two sides of Prague. It's truly a magnificent structure and is the main pedestrian route connecting the old town with the lesser towns of Mala Strana and Prague Cas. It's so quaint and beautiful. Let me know in your next letter and then we can organize everything from this end. All you need to do is make it home!

  Anyway, Joshua, I need to sign off now, but only on paper and never in thoughts. I will write very soon. Love you with all my heart.

  Love always, Angelina xxx

  Chapter Eighteen

  Joshua picked up his metal detector and slowly walked towards the bomb, treading carefully with every step. The other soldiers watched him go. He lay down on the rough dry ground, the bomb just inches away from his head. He started brushing away the dirt and debris with a knife and paint brush. Joshua was the Ammunitions Technical Officer and he alone defuses the bomb. Joshua's Number Two had prepared the ATO's kit beforehand and gave constant advice throughout the disabling of the bomb.

  An infantry patrol had spotted something highly suspicious, a dip where the soil had settled over a large buried object and Joshua's team was dispatched to investigate. The well-executed plan to destroy the unexploded bomb and make the area safe for the villagers by preventing insurgents from detonating the bomb to kill innocent women and children was a success. Joshua and his team continued to sweep the area, ensuring it was safe. There was a risk of the bomb spontaneously exploding. If this happened, anyone within close proximity of the detonation point may be killed or seriously wounded but this was a risk they faced daily and one Joshua accepted as part of his job.

  Several potential insurgents had been detained for questioning. The captives were escorted to an armoured vehicle behind Joshua's. As Joshua and his men made their way to the armoured vehicle, they heard a commotion up ahead. They had not quite settled into the vehicle when there was an explosion, followed by gunfire overhead. The armoured vehicle next to which Joshua was standing with two of his men had been hit. One wounded soldier lay on the ground, unable to move and in severe pain as his arm had been blown off in the explosion. Two further soldiers lay dead on the ground. They had been taken by complete surprise and had no way of knowing an attack was imminent.

  Villagers stepped out of the buildings, the women and children crying as they watched the wounded soldier radio for help. Within minutes, a helicopter was flying overhead and then landed. The soldiers climbed out and surveyed the area surrounding the explosion before proceeding. Once they felt sure the insurgents were no longer in the vicinity, they hurried over to attend to the wounded soldier and get him back to camp for urgent medical attention. They carefully and respectfully lifted the two dead soldiers into the helicopter while some of the other soldiers questioned the onlookers.

  “Solider, what's your name?”

  Sean McKay was dazed and drifting in and out of consciousness. He'd lost a lot of blood already and this had not gone unnoticed by the soldier kneeling before him, who was securing the wound and stemming the flow of blood.

  “Soldier, can you hear me?”

  “My name is Sean from the Bomb Disposal Unit. I was with the bomb disposal team sent here to investigate a suspicious disturbance found by the infantry patrol. Have you found Joshua?” These were his last words before he fell unconscious.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Angelina was writing in her living room when the knock she dreaded came. She opened the door, her heart pounding, then stood frozen, knowing instantly that something terrible had happened. She started shaking her head. “No, no, no.”

  “Hello, Ms Angelina Ferria?” the official looking man asked sympathetically.

  With tears falling down her face and a painful tugging in her stomach, she stood back and beckoned for the two men to come in. As they sat down with compassionate looks displayed across their weary faces, Angelina listened intently as she was informed of Joshua's fate.

  “I am so sorry, Miss Ferria, if there's anything we can do, anything at all, please just call this number.” The man offered her a piece of paper with a list of numbers of support groups and help lines.

  “Do you have someone you can call?” asked the chaplain, who had accompanied the military officer.

  “Yes, yes,” cried Angelina. She could not find any words; she could feel herself choking up just before she fell to her knees, crying uncontrollably. It was as if her heart had been physically ripped from her chest, leaving an empty cavity. The chaplain comforted her and attempted to ease her pain with words of comfort, but to no avail. His words were lost on her. All he could do was wait until Lucy arrived before leaving.

  Angelina thought it was all a bad dream. This just couldn't possibly happen to her a second time. “Missing in Action, they told me, Lucy. Joshua and his team came under attack by insurgents, two men dead and one seriously wounded. All they found of Joshua was this.” Angelina held out her hand to reveal Joshua's dog tag. Lucy struggled to hold back her own tears as she comforted Angelina, unable to find the right words to ease her friend’s pain; the shock of the news tearing holes in her own heart, the broken look on Richard’s face when she told him would never leave her. She was torn between Angelina and Richard, who right now were both struggling with the loss of someone they loved. But Lucy knew Angelina would be in a much worse state and she needed to be with her.

  “What am I going to do, Lucy? I can't bear this, I don't want to live without him. They said the possibility of Joshua surviving the explosion was virtually nil. His body was not found amongst the debris. They said he was standing right next to the vehicle when it exploded. Well, if that's the case, where is his body? They must be able to recover something other than his dog tag, Lucy? I just refuse to accept he's gone. I need something to hold onto. They said they had to report him as MIA because no body was retrieved at the scene. Well I'm sorry, if no body was found then that means there has to be a chance, no matter how small. He could have survived this, as one other soldier did, Lucy. I can't and won't believe he's gone.”

  “Oh Angelina, you can't do this to yourself. I'm so worried about you and so sorry. Richard is devastated. I saw him cry for the first time today, he is taking this news pretty badly. Look, why don't you come and stay with me for a few days? If you want to lock yourself in a room then that's fine, you don't have to talk to anyone, Angelina, but at least I will be close by and I can keep my eye on you,” pleaded Lucy.

  Angelina's face was blank and completely void of acceptance, her eyes were red and blood shot. She hadn't heard a single word of what Lucy said. Lucy grabbed Angelina's arm and helped her off the floor gently. She sat her down on the sofa and went into the kitchen to make her a cup of hot tea. Angelina did not move a muscle, she said not a single word and her expression didn't change. Lucy called Richard to inform him that Lucy would be staying at her house for a few days and that he should come over a bit later if he was up to it himself. Lucy was concerned for Richard too. He had lost his best friend today, a friend who was more like a brother to him and one he'd grown up with. Lucy knew he'd taken the news badly.

  Angelina didn't touch her tea or answer the phone when it started to ring. She was in complete shock as the realisation was sinking in. Lucy was desperately worried and feared that Angelina may have a complete breakdown. She could not believe her wonderful friend was having to go through this for the second time in her young life. To lose two partners in the most brutal of circumstances the way Angelina had was far too much for anyone to cope with. What were the odds of this happening? She opened the hallway cupboard and gathered a few things to keep Angelina going for a few days then, with a lot of effort and cohesion, helped Angelina to her car after locking up her cottage and ensuring it was secure while she was away. She drove slowly to her house and helped Angelina to the spare bedroom.

  “Angelina, I am just popping downstairs for a few minutes, okay? I will be right back.”

  Angelina did not move and barely blinked, her eyes were full of tears
and many were escaping down her sodden red cheeks. Her expression remained the same, unchanged, as she slipped further and further into herself and away from reality. Lucy felt despair setting in, not knowing what to do for the best. Angelina had no real family to speak of. Her mother was not interested in the slightest and she had no idea where her father was. He had disappeared a long time ago with another woman. She felt so deeply for her friend. Holding back her own tears, she decided to call her doctor. She felt Angelina needed a sedative, sleeping pills, anything to help her get through this first tragic night. She just hoped the doctor would prescribe something for her.

  Dr Howard was knocking at the door an hour later after a pleading call and a brief explanation from Lucy.

  “She's upstairs, Dr Howard. She won't speak, she won't respond to me at all, I am so worried about her.” The doctor followed Lucy up the stairs and into Lucy's spare room. Angelina was rocking backwards and forwards slowly, lost in her own grief, a picture of total and utter despair.

  “Angelina, it's Dr Howard. I know you have suffered a great loss; I need to know how you are feeling right now. Angelina?” There was no response. Her eyes lifeless, Angelina was holding onto Joshua's last letter. “Lucy, can I have a word with you outside please?”

  Lucy led the doctor onto the landing and closed the bedroom door behind them. “It's clear to me she is in complete shock right now, and will remain so for a few days. She is grieving right now and it is going to take a long time and a lot of support from her loved ones to help her come to terms with her loss. I am going to prescribe a course of strong sedatives, they will help to numb the pain and you will find they will make her very sleepy which right now is the best thing for her,” advised Dr Howard sympathetically.

  He wrote out a prescription and handed it to her. “I also recommend she sees a therapist to help her through the next few months. Just call me if you need anything.”