Whispers and the Roars

by K. Webster

  “Bones,” I growl in warning.

  He laughs—motherfucking laughs—at me per usual. “Take your pants off, Yeo.”

  When I close my eyes and still, he takes it as my refusal. But Bones doesn’t take no for an answer. Ever. He rolls over to face me and pushes me onto my back. His deft fingers make quick work of unfastening my pants. Before I can articulate a reason why we shouldn’t, he’s already stripped me bare. His hand closes around my rigid bare cock and he strokes me forcefully. Bright stars light his dark room.

  “Condoms. Lube. Bedside drawer,” he barks.

  I can hear him shedding his clothes.

  I’m frozen though.

  Love and my moral compass duel in the dark night. Love is more fierce and unstoppable and fucking crazy. Love always wins. That moral compass never stood a chance.

  “On your knees,” I instruct him as I yank the drawer open. Once I’ve fumbled my way in the dark and have sheathed my cock with a condom, I squirt a healthy amount of lubricant on my finger. “When’s the last time you took it in the ass?”

  He laughs. “When’s the last time you took me in the ass?”

  Christmas. The last time was Christmas. He’s going to need to work up to it again.

  “Relax and give me that ass,” I growl.

  Our ragged breaths create a wicked symphony in the darkness. Two hellish demons up to no good while our angel plays hide-and-seek with us.

  I stroke his ass reverently before locating his tight, puckered hole. When I slowly push into his ass, he lets out a pleasure-filled moan.

  “Feel okay, Bones?”

  “Fuck yes,” he grunts. “Say my name again.”

  So many times I’ve fucked with both our heads by calling him Kady because I’d missed her so fucking much. It was wrong. I was wrong.

  “Bones,” I murmur as I pump my finger in and out of him. With each movement, he tightens around my digit. My cock won’t last long inside of him. It never does.

  “More,” he says, his voice needy.

  I pour more lube down the crack of his ass. Then, I gently begin pushing another finger into him.

  “Jesus! Fuck!”

  “Too much?” I question, my movements slowing.

  “No…not enough. I need more, Yeo.”

  I smile in the dark. Yeo. I like when he says my name too. Obeying this unusual character, I work to add another finger. In and out. Stretching and filling. This isn’t our first go-around at sex like this, so before long, his ass is primed and ready. Ready for me to fuck him into tomorrow.

  “Will this be the last time?” he questions, his breaths uneven.

  I pull my fingers from inside of him and wipe them on the sheet. “I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “I hope not.”

  “Do it,” he urges. “Do it now.”

  “Flat on your belly. You’re going to need to muffle your screams in the mattress,” I tell him with a growl.

  He obeys and I waste no time teasing his hole with the tip of my lubed cock. I have to hold it firmly in place as I push into him. The resistance is strong at first but soon, I make it past the tight ring of muscle. His scream is otherworldly and muted and mine.

  “Tell me to stop…”

  “Don’t stop.”

  And so I don’t.

  In the dark room, my bliss becomes white as I drive slowly into his taut body. It’s just as fucking satisfying as the last time. With Bones and I, it’s not just sex. It’s two best friends uniting in a way not many friends do. It’s joining and fusing, our souls linking. It’s love.

  “Oh God,” I whisper. Bones, like Kady, loves it when I whisper. “You’re perfect.”

  “Say my name.”

  “Bones. I’m fucking inside of you, Bones. Do you hear me?” I hiss, my thrusts picking up pace. Every movement is torture on my cock and I’m blinded by lust and need. The urge to fuck him until it hurts is strong but I don’t fuck him.

  I make love to him.

  Covering him with my body, my sweaty chest against his back, I suckle and nip at his neck as I move inside him. My arms slip beneath him and I hug him to me. Each thrust is an apology. A kiss. A hug. Another way to tell him I love him too. Bones doesn’t do words…he needs actions. He needs to feel the love.

  His body tenses, which makes his ass clench around my cock. When his body begins to quake as he hisses, I know he’s found his release. It’s all I need to push me over the edge as well. With my lips against his shoulder, I whisper, “I love you, Bones.”

  He’s silent as I climax. My cock throbs with delicious pleasure inside of him. The bright whites fade to grey and eventually muted black as I relax on top of him.

  Neither one of us moves. We’re linked, and at the moment, it feels right.

  “You’re such a girl, Kitty Muncher,” he teases, his voice hoarse from screaming with pleasure.

  “I learned it from watching you,” I bite back with a smile.

  We both chuckle. When it grows silent again, I slip my softening cock from him and find his jaw so I can direct his face to mine. I kiss him hard, right on the mouth.

  “I love you,” I remind him, my voice not a whisper. Bones likes roars sometimes.

  “Say my name.”

  “Bones.”

  “You hungry?”

  “Not hungry for Cheetos if that’s what you’re asking.”

  He slides off the bed and away from me. I lie there, inhaling his lingering scent. My mind is fractured. Severed in two. There’s no right answer here. Only what feels right.

  “Hey, Kitty Muncher?” he calls out from the bathroom doorway.

  A light brightens the dark space and I wince. “Yeah?”

  “Love you too, fucker.”

  At that, he slams the door. The shower turns on and I can’t help but smile up at the ceiling.

  Sometimes love is fucking ridiculous.

  * * *

  Kady

  It’s been several days since Bones and Yeo patched things up. They’ve never been ones to fight or hold a grudge so when the air was bad between them, we all suffered. Now that they’re back to being the best of friends, Yeo and I have settled into a lovely routine.

  During the day, I hold my piano lessons in my nice cool house. Thank you, Yeo. He works on finding a place for his private practice while I’m busy with my piano students. Then, he comes by after and we spend the rest of the evening together. Well, aside from last night. Last night he’d wanted me to go to the store to pick up the food for tonight, but I just couldn’t. I sent Agatha with him. They came home with enough food to feed an army. I’d worried about how much she’d spent but was informed Yeo bought all of it.

  Food for the dinner with his family.

  Smokes for Bones.

  Another unnecessary but cute dress for me.

  Cheetos for Bones.

  A new scarf for Aunt Suzy.

  Coloring books for Presley.

  New Sharpies for Agatha.

  A toy for Whiskers.

  Badass aviator shades I’m jealous of for Officer Joe.

  And a journal for me.

  He shouldn’t have gotten all of that stuff for me and my family. It probably cost a fortune but he’d been beaming from ear to ear afterward. That’s just Yeo. He loves doing for others.

  “Are you going to sit with me while I tell them?” he questions from the bathroom doorway, dragging me from my thoughts.

  I run the lipstick over my lips and put the cap back on before shrugging my shoulders. “I don’t know.”

  He’s leaned up against the doorframe, his muscles stretching the fabric of his ice blue button up shirt. A silky, thin tie hangs from his neck and his black hair is sculpted in such a way that it sticks up in every which direction but looks really damn cool. His black slacks hug his toned legs perfectly. My Yeo looks so good, I want to rip off all of his handsome clothes and let him take me right on the bathroom sink.

  But, alas, his family will be here soon.

  “Does Agatha ne
ed me to do anything? The house smells fucking delicious. Her lasagna is the best.”

  I smooth out my black and white Aztec patterned dress and try to calm my jittery nerves. “She’s already done what she can. All we need now are the people.”

  He flashes me a proud grin. A grin that says he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful. A grin that believes I’ll make it through this dinner alive and well. Sadly, I’m going to steal his smile.

  Like always.

  “Where’s your book?” he asks as he reaches for my hand.

  I let him clasp mine. He pulls me from the bathroom and into my room.

  “In the top drawer. Are you sure this is a good idea?” I’m feeling sick to my stomach and dizzy. “What if they laugh? I don’t know if I can handle this.”

  He stops and cups my face with both of his hands. His dark gaze narrows at me as his jaw clenches. “If they laugh, I will shove them out of this house and they’ll miss Agatha’s icebox strawberry pie. They’ll behave just for that.” At this, he winks.

  I smile and close my eyes. “But what if…”

  He silences me by pressing his lips to mine. Warm and soft. Inviting. Wet and parting to kiss me deeper. I accept him and meet his tongue with mine. His taste is minty, and I want to spend the entire night licking his perfect mouth, not explaining myself to his snooty family.

  His hands roam down to my ass and he lifts my dress. Heat blossoms over my flesh. I’d give anything to cancel dinner, let Yeo fuck me right against my dresser, and eat lasagna in bed.

  He pulls me to him, his erection poking into my belly. I bet if I begged sweetly, he’d cancel dinner in a flash.

  But I can’t do that.

  He wants to come out in the open. To allow me a voice to explain myself. To make them see why I am the way I am. As much as I loathe the idea of being exposed for all to see, I know it’s the only option. The only way for us to move forward in our relationship. We’re going to need his family’s support.

  “Kadydid,” he murmurs against my lips, “I’m going to look like a perv greeting my parents with a boner.”

  I chuckle and grab him through his slacks. “I could take care of that real quick—”

  He groans when the doorbell rings. “Later, beautiful. We’ll continue this later.”

  When he pulls away, the fear consumes me as reality sets in. What if their hate overshadows their understanding? What if they encourage him to leave me? What if they make fun of me?

  Blackness swarms in around me. Angry and unsettling. I reach up and grab at my hair in frustration.

  Kady. Kady. Kady.

  He’s calling for me, but I’m drowning. His whispers are drowned out by the goddamned roars.

  Bad girl. Bad girl. Bad girl.

  Norman’s hateful words are on the forefront of my mind, reminding me of who I really am.

  Kady. Kady. Kady.

  Tears well in my eyes and I worry about my freshly applied makeup.

  What a fucking mess you are, Kady. A dirty, bad little girl. You look just like your whore mother.

  I’m fighting the hell storm in my head when two warm arms wrap tightly around me. Yeo knows I love it when he whispers. But, this time, he doesn’t whisper.

  He roars.

  KADY! KADY! KADY!

  His deep voice rumbles right through me and cuts through the haze of my mind as if he’s wielding a knife. I blink and see his loving brown eyes focused on me. Always me. His lips moving—calling for me. Always me.

  No whispers, only roars.

  “KADY!” his voice roars like a bear warning off predators away from his young. “KADY!”

  Snap.

  Gone.

  Just like that.

  This is why I need my Yeo.

  He’s got this way about him.

  “We better answer the door,” I murmur.

  Relief washes over him and he kisses me chastely on the lips as the doorbell rings again. “Thank you for coming back, Kadydid,” he whispers back.

  I like it when he whispers.

  “Dinner was lovely,” Gyeong says with a smile. “You’ll have to pass that on to…”

  “Agatha. Her name is Agatha.” My words are clipped and harsh. I’ve attempted to be social but I’m about to have a panic attack with all of them in my space.

  “I’m sorry she couldn’t join us,” she says, her smile faltering.

  “Me too.” When she stares at me as if she’s expecting more of an explanation, I let out a quick breath. “Way past her bedtime.”

  Yeo squeezes my thigh under the table. “You okay?”

  Fletcher is watching me with narrowed eyes. Patty and Barclay are eerily quiet. And Dean has hardly touched his food. Gyeong and Yeo have carried the conversation the entire meal.

  “I’m fine,” I lie. I’m not fine. Not fine at all. I want to puke up all the delicious lasagna I managed to get down over dinner.

  Barclay leans back in his chair and shoots Fletcher a look I’m not meant to interpret. But I sense the irritation and frustration and impatience rolling from him in waves. From all of them really. They want answers.

  I don’t have answers.

  If Bones were here, he’d have answers. And insults. Hell, he’d be quite entertaining. At this, I let out a giggle. All eyes are on me—wide and confused.

  “Do you remember that old camera I begged for, Dad? The one you had to have repaired for me and we spent the better part of a week listening to that old man in the shop tell us how to use the damn thing?” Yeo questions softly.

  Fletcher nods, a look of understanding passing over his features, and leans forward. “It was more trouble than it was worth.” His gaze is on his youngest boy—so full of pride it makes my heart hurt—and he grins at him.

  Yeo chuckles. “I got better at it. Eventually. Took pictures of all of my favorite things…” he trails off and turns his gaze to me.

  Everyone is quiet at the table. You could hear a pin drop. They’re all letting Yeo guide the conversation. Being patient as he pulls back the layers to our love story so they can all see what hides underneath. It’ll be ugly and broken to them. But to me, it’s the only thing that makes sense in my world.

  “I made a book,” Yeo tells them, a shy smile on his lips.

  Dean barks out a laugh. “Holy shit! Is this like a sex book or some crap? Are you two nymphomaniacs or something?”

  Fletcher bristles at his son’s outburst and shuts Dean down with a harsh glare. Then, my boyfriend’s father’s gaze returns to me. Encouraging. Gentle. Kind.

  I stare at him blinking. The new table Yeo bought for me is unmarred. Norman’s name isn’t gouged out all over the surface. I was thrilled when it arrived before his family came over. I’d have been embarrassed for them to see such a terrible part of my life.

  Yeo continues explaining about his camera and how he’d practice taking pictures of people and bugs but mostly me. I pick up my knife with a trembling hand. He’s so animated and happy.

  It should make me happy too…

  But a darkness is settling over me.

  A sense of foreboding.

  Worry. So much worry.

  What if he comes?

  What if he shows up right now?

  Would he storm his drunk ass around my house and wreak havoc in front of Yeo’s family? Worse yet, would he hurt them?

  Kady. Kady. Kady.

  Yeo’s sweet voice parts through the cloudy haze but not quick enough. Norman’s stench is here. Stale smoke and cheap liquor. My skin erupts with shivers as I feel him in the house.

  Kady. Kady. Kady.

  I’m torn from my present and thrust into my past.

  With him.

  My nightmare.

  Norman.

  Daddy.

  “Kady,” Daddy slurs as he falls face first onto my bed.

  I shudder at how close he is. He stinks. Daddy always stinks. I hate how he smells. “I’m sleepy. I don’t want to cuddle,” I tell him bravely.

  At this, h
e laughs darkly. Daddy’s laughs are scary. I hate his laughs. His fingers tickle at my ribs. I hate his tickles. Nothing about his tickles make me laugh.

  “Kady baby,” he murmurs, nuzzling his nose into my hair. “You always make Daddy better, though.”

  I swallow and a single tear streaks down my cheek. His fingers are no longer tickling. They stroke up and down my arms in a way that used to soothe me. Now, it terrifies me. I hate his fingers.

  “I don’t feel good,” I lie, hoping he’ll leave me alone. But he never does anymore. Every night he comes into my room so I can help him feel better.

  “Is my nurse sick?” he slurs. “Should I be the nurse tonight?”

  More tears roll out.

  “Let me feel your heartbeat,” he murmurs, “so I can make sure my patient is okay.”

  His fingers slip under my gown and I shudder, thankful they bypass my panties and flutter over my chest. He grunts behind me, pressing something hard into me. I’m afraid one day he’ll do something terrifying with that thing. Something painful.

  “You seem perfectly okay to me,” he says. “But maybe I should check everywhere just to be sure. Make sure you don’t have any broken bones or anything.”

  I wish I could break his bones.

  The thought, so evil and quick, has me confused.

  He’s my daddy. I can’t hurt my daddy, can I?

  But my daddy hurts me…

  Please, God, help me.

  “He’s not my Daddy.”

  I search my dark room for the person belonging to the voice. Fierce but young. A boy. Brave unlike me.

  “Who are you? Why are you in my room?” I demand, searching the darkness. I’m embarrassed for this boy to see the way my daddy touches me. “Please leave.”

  Daddy’s fingers stop just over my belly button. “Who the fuck are you talking to? I know you’re not talking to me.” His voice is a menacing growl.

  “I’m Bones,” the boy says from the shadows. “And what your daddy is doing ain’t right. Want me to stab him?”

  Yes.

  I want you to stab him.

  “No,” I lie. “Go away.” My whispered words only anger my daddy.