Whispers and the Roars

by K. Webster

  “I heard that,” she grumbles.

  I’m chuckling when things go blissfully calm. The calm means happy. Happy means Yeo. Good girl.

  But the moment I sense she’s gone, I feel it.

  I feel him.

  The self-hatred. The loathing. The motherfucking sadness. It sucks the damn life right out of my chest. I let out a groan.

  “Time to go, buddy,” I snarl as I charge for Kenneth.

  He’s hiding in the shadows. The shadows are where his friends Norman and Pascale hide too. We all hate the fucking shadows. The normal members of our unusual family.

  But these guys?

  They’re not family.

  They’re evil.

  Dark and twisted.

  Those fuckers live to destroy.

  Well…not on my watch.

  I stomp off toward him, my size thirteen combat boots echoing in the darkness. You know what they say about shoe size? Yeah, I’ve got a big dick. But that’s a story for a later date…

  “Where the hell is he?” Officer Joe hisses.

  Poor guy hates the shadows too. But right now, it’s a matter of survival. And those things that live in them end now.

  Sadness.

  Thick and suffocating surrounds me.

  We’re close.

  So fucking close.

  And then I hear it.

  Kenneth’s heavy breathing. Choppy and rushed. He’s afraid. Well he should be goddamned afraid. He hurt our girl. So many times he hurt Kadence. So many times I was incapable of stopping him. I wasn’t able to do it alone.

  But we have Yeo.

  He makes Kady strong.

  He helps her fight on the outside.

  And we wage war on the inside.

  “Say goodbye, Crazy Kenny.”

  The first punch I land on him resounds with a sickening pop.

  Over and over again.

  Officer Joe doesn’t try to arrest him or send him away.

  Kenny always comes back.

  This time, Officer Joe lets me do what I’ve been trying to do since the day he showed up when Kady was just a teenager.

  I kill the motherfucker.

  And he ain’t comin’ back.

  * * *

  Yeo

  Her entire body is drenched in sweat. The blood from her thighs soaks the comforter and my clothes. As soon as she lets out a relieved sob in my arms, I relax my grip on her.

  “There you are, Kadydid,” I coo against her damp hair. I press a kiss against her head and lift up.

  “It hurts.” Tears well and then trickle down the side of her temples as she looks up at me. “Why does he always hurt me?”

  I run my palm along the side of her pretty face. God, if I could take away every ounce of pain—physical and mental—I’d do it in a heartbeat. If only it were that easy.

  “He’s not going to hurt you anymore,” I vow, my eyes narrowing.

  Her bloody hand flutters over her bare chest and she presses her fingertips into the flesh above her heart. “I ache.” Teary blue eyes that look like mini lakes flash to mine. “Here.”

  Sliding my hand over hers, I look down at her and smile. “Because you miss your mom?”

  She grits her teeth and her eyes dart back and forth. I recognize the panicked look. The look she sometimes gets when she doesn’t want to discuss the hard stuff and she bails. Mentally. Just checks the fuck out.

  Not today.

  “Kadydid…”

  Guilt flashes in her eyes and her bottom lip wobbles. “I miss her so much. It was my fault you know.”

  A swell of anger blooms in my chest. Fucking Norman and the stupid lies he tells her.

  “It was not your fault,” I growl.

  She sniffles and casts her gaze to the ceiling as if to remember. “He came for me. He wanted to see me. All he wanted was for me to spend weekends with him. If Mommy would have let him, she’d still be alive.”

  I close my eyes and will away the fury surging through me. When my eyes reopen, I affix her with a firm glare. “Your father was a sick man. She was protecting you. If you’d gone off with him, he’d have done horrible things to you.”

  A shudder ripples through her. I know it’s from the thought of Norman but it jars me back to the present. She needs medical attention.

  “Come on,” I say sliding out of the bed and pulling her with me. “Let’s get you cleaned up so I can take a look at your legs.”

  Her knees wobble and she falls against my chest. I kiss her head once more before leaving the bedroom that holds awful memories with her tucked firmly against my side.

  “We’re going to get through this,” I assure her.

  “I sure hope so.”

  It’s been several weeks since the incident. Since that bastard carved what I later learned was a word. Pain. He sliced up my Kady like she was a fucking pumpkin. Thankfully, it wasn’t deep enough to require stitches. And the fact that he’s not coming back—not ever—has me feeling better about the entire situation.

  Bones followed through.

  Instead of simply running Kenneth off like he’s done in the past, he ended him. I’m not really sure what he did. With Bones, you never know. He’d bragged about machine guns and a bloodbath and bitches begging for his nuts. Something tells me it was simpler. Either way, I’m glad Kenneth is gone.

  One down, two to go.

  “What if he hates me?” Kady murmurs.

  I look up from my computer and frown. Today she’s a picture of sweet perfection. She’s donning a loose-fitting strappy white summer dress with pale pink flowers and has pulled her hair into a sleek ponytail. Her cheeks are slightly rosy still from our lovemaking session in her bed this morning. Just remembering how she called my name over and over again as I made her feel how much I love her has my dick thickening in response.

  Snapping my laptop closed, I stand and make my way over to her. We’ve recently moved into the building Dad paid cash for. It’s not gigantic, but it suits the needs for Anderson Counseling and Psychotherapy. The furniture has long since been delivered, but there’s still so much to do before we’re ready to open.

  “Kush?” I sneak a peek at the clock. He should be here any time.

  She nods and rests her cheek to my chest once I pull her into my arms. “I’m crazy.”

  I let out a chuckle at her hissed words. “You’re not crazy.”

  “You know what I mean,” she says with a sigh. “Messed up. He’s your friend and I may do something to scare him away.”

  Gripping her hair, I tug it back so I can look into her blue eyes that flicker with sadness. “Kush is a good guy. Not only is he friendly and easygoing, but he also graduated at the top of our class. He’s the smartest man, aside from my father, I know. There’s nothing going on with you that he hasn’t already seen or dealt with on a much greater scale. The rounds we did in the psych ward would make your skin crawl, Kadydid.” I don’t tell her she’s actually the most extreme case I’ve ever studied. “Plus, you’re beautiful and sweet. I may have to beat him off with a stick.”

  She giggles and I wink at her.

  “Well, well, well,” a familiar voice says from the doorway, sounding exactly like Mr. Smith from The Matrix. “Mr. Anderson.”

  “My name is Neo,” I tell him through gritted teeth, just like the character from the movie. Our nerdism for those movies is ultimately what made us become friends.

  We both chuckle. I release Kady and stride over to Kush. He wears a half grin on his dark skin as he admires my office. His quirky style hasn’t changed. He wears a pale purple plaid suit and a black vest underneath. Kush is a tie freak and never leaves home without one. Today’s tie is dark purple and sleek. The black hair on his head is standing up in every direction and his thick eyebrows are quirked up as he skims over the view of my office—the only room in the building that’s fully decorated.

  “How you been, buddy?” I question as I shake his hand before pulling him into a hug.

  He pats my shoulder.
“Better now that I’m here.”

  I pull away and gesture toward the most beautiful girl on the planet. Her unease is evident. She twists her fingers together and nervously shifts her balance from one leg to the other. With her head bowed and looking at the rug, I can’t make out her features.

  Stay with me, Kady.

  “Kush, meet my girl, Kadence Marshall,” I say, pride in my tone.

  Her chin lifts and she flashes me a small smile. There’s no doubt I love this girl. It still blows my mind she has trouble believing it sometimes.

  “Kady, meet my friend, Kush Pawan.”

  Kush saunters over to her and offers not only his hand but one of his signature grins that used to get him his fair share of chicks back in college. Thankfully, Kady is immediately disarmed. A slight blush creeps up her cheeks and she offers her hand.

  “Lovely to meet you,” he tells her genuinely. “Yeo has told me so much about you.”

  And I have. He’s one of the few people who knows everything. After a long, drunken night of despairing over Kady hiding and fucking Bones in her place, I spilled to Kush. Ever the doctor, he began picking apart my brain for answers. Like me, he wanted to understand her. He never once told me I should move on or get past her.

  “Oh,” Kady says, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

  Kush raises an eyebrow at her. “Sorry for what? The kid’s in love with you. He used to gush about you so much. Hell, even I had a crush on you.”

  I laugh and shake my head.

  Kady’s eyes flicker to mine in confusion before sliding back to Kush. “He told you about…about my…”

  “Your nine alters. Yes.”

  She chews on her bottom lip. “They make life difficult sometimes,” she admits. “I don’t have much control over who shows up.”

  Kush nods thoughtfully. He steps away from her and walks over to my bookcase which is now lined with my medical books. I draw her back to my side to hug her tight. She’s not as tense as I’d have expected. Kady doesn’t normally do well with new people, but here she is. Still in my arms. Still Kady. Every day is progress with her.

  “I once read about a patient who had over a hundred alters,” he tells her. He looks over his shoulder and regards her. “Do yours work as a family?”

  He knows this but I let him try to get to know her in his own way. The Kush way. He’s good at making people feel comfortable and not on the spot. People open up to him freely. They aren’t intimidated by the nerdy dressing dude.

  “Yeah. There are a few who simply live to wreak havoc though.” Her voice is a whisper. Anger wells inside of me. Just the idea of having Pascale and Norman on the loose is enough to have my blood boiling. And this is why I need Kush. She needs psychotherapy but it has to be with someone I trust. But it also can’t be me. I’m too involved and partial to her afflictions. We need someone who’s heart isn’t also in the fray.

  “Do they make appearances often?” His eyes meet hers for a moment before he’s strolling over to my desk to fuck with shit over there too. He picks up one of my pens and starts clicking at it while he waits for her to answer.

  “Pascale hides when Yeo is around. He hates Yeo.” She looks up and beams at me. As if I’m her damn hero. My heart soars from that smile much like it did when I was ten years old and told her I loved her cat Whiskers. Back then I was her hero too. “And Norman…” Her smile falls as her eyes grow distant.

  “Who is Norman?” Kush’s voice is just deep and commanding enough that it drags her from her mental retreat.

  She shudders but turns her attention his way. “My dad.”

  “Where’s your real dad?”

  Her shoulders hunch and she swallows loudly. “Prison.”

  The tension is thick, but I don’t dare interrupt their moment. Sensing that she’s teetering, Kush backs off.

  “You like pizza, Miss Kady?”

  Thrown off by his question, she snaps her gaze to mine. I shrug my shoulders and smile.

  “Um, yeah. Why?”

  He pats his belly and saunters over to the window. “That place across the street is calling my name. All I’ve had for the past month is my mom’s home cooked Indian food. And while I appreciate a good meal, a man must have pizza every now and again. I’m long overdue.”

  Kush holds out a hand to her. She hesitates for a moment but then accepts his offer. Then, my girl walks off with her doctor.

  My heart roars with happiness.

  And my mind whispers.

  Everything will be okay now.

  I’ll give it to Kush. The man can roll with the punches. Right now, as we wait for our pizzas to arrive, he’s holding his own with none other than Aunt Suzy.

  “Fourteen,” she reminds him, batting her eyelashes in a flirtatious way. “Fourteen cases of bottled water at the Two Dollar Store for just three seventy-four. Can you believe it?”

  He sips at his iced tea and then lets out a whistle. “Miss Suzy, I must say that is quite a deal. Coupon cutting was a fad, I thought. But here you are still saving your family lots of money. That’s admirable.”

  Aunt Suzy beams and then mouths blatantly at me. Oh, I like him.

  I smirk and nod before mouthing back. I like him too.

  She straightens her back and then leans forward as if to hang onto every word he says. He surprises both of us when he cuts to the chase.

  “Miss Suzy,” he questions, his voice growing serious. “Where’s Kady?”

  Her smile falls and she purses her lips together. “That girl is a master at hide-and-seek. When things get tough, she lets us do the heavy lifting.”

  Kush narrows his eyes. “I see. But why would she run from me? I thought she liked me.”

  Guilt flashes in Aunt Suzy’s eyes. She swallows thickly and gives him a false smile. “She does. I’m not sure why she’s hiding, to be quite honest.”

  He reaches across the table and pats her hand. “Can you bring her back to me?”

  Aunt Suzy is always so flamboyant and happy. The fact that she seems uncomfortable has my hackles slightly raised. My hands curl into fists. I’m protective over all of them.

  “Calm down, lover boy,” Kush says, making eye contact with me. “Just want to talk to Miss Kady.” With his eyes he implores me to let him do his thing. I let out a rush of breath and give him a clipped nod.

  “I’ll see what I can do,” Aunt Suzy tells him.

  A moment later, she turns her head to look at me. Kady’s bright blue eyes flicker with confusion. That one brief second when she comes back to reality is always frightening for her. But she locates my comforting gaze and relaxes.

  “I’m so sorry,” she squeaks out and leans into my side.

  I pull her against me and rub up and down her arm. “Why are you sorry, beautiful?”

  Her head turns and she meets Kush’s interested stare. “Are you, um, mad?”

  Kush lets out a loud, boisterous laugh that makes half the restaurant flick their attention over to us. “Of course I’m not mad. I just wanted to talk to you.”

  She relaxes when he launches into how his sister also plays piano. Kady perks up and carries on a very animated conversation with him about music. Her happiness seems to saturate every soul in her proximity. I love when Kady is…Kady. No past. No stress. No fear. Simply Kady. Talking about what she loves. Smiling. Laughing. Enjoying her life.

  Not theirs.

  Hers.

  Our food comes and we eat as three friends. So normal. No family interruptions. No Norman outbursts. Just us.

  Don’t worry, Kady. Kush and I will help you get your life back.

  For the first time in so long, hope begins to warm my heart. I hope that we can begin to free Kady from some of the chains that weigh her down.

  The girl was meant to soar…

  Eventually, we’re going to break her loose and give her the freedom she deserves.

  * * *

  Kady

  “Tell me about how you met each alter,” Kush say
s, scratching at the scruff along his jaw that’s recently grown in. “I want to know how each one was born.”

  Disgust washes over me and I cringe. Before Bones came along, I’d been a part of some terrible things with my father. So terrible that I’ve shoved them far into the recesses of my mind. I hope to never explore them ever again. I don’t ever want to remember those times with him and me alone in my bedroom.

  “Kady,” he implores, leaning forward in his leather seat. He places his elbows on his knees and maintains eye contact with me.

  I chew on my lip and dart my gaze over to the clock on the wall. Thirty minutes. I’d promised Yeo I would sit with Kush three times a week for thirty minutes. We’re only four minutes in and I’m ready to bolt. “Um,” I start, my voice hoarse and scratchy, “Bones came when I was tired of my father hurting me. I’d been craving to hurt my daddy back.”

  His lips purse together and his kind eyes look sad. He feels sorry for me. Kush’s obvious emotion makes me uncomfortable.

  “Did you understand who this Bones was?” he questions with furrowed brows.

  “Not entirely. At least not at first.”

  I fidget in my seat and check the time again. Twenty-five minutes to go.

  “When were you aware that he wasn’t real?”

  His words cause me to flinch. “He’s real…” My heart thunders in my chest. “To me, he’s real.”

  Kush picks up his mug from the table and takes a sip of the hot coffee that I know the new receptionist, Amber, made. He and Yeo have been here for three weeks now and they’ve begun to see some patients. Amber is quiet but nice. She’s what some would consider overweight but she’s by far the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen. Her light brown hair hangs in waves around her face and her bright green eyes twinkle with happiness. Always. What I wouldn’t give to have that twinkle in my own eyes.

  But I am happy…

  Ever since Yeo came back, life has been simpler.

  He takes care of me in every sense of the word. We rarely spend any time apart because I think he’s afraid he’ll lose me again. My family has grown quiet, aside from Bones, and the dark men who haunt me seem to be hanging out off my radar. Life is actually good. Normal even.