Cruising Through to Fulfilment

by Ann M Pratley

  "What is going on with you two, Tanya? You're both so caught up in each other, but I haven't even seen you talk to one another. What gives, girl? What haven't you told me?"

  "I don't know what you are talking about, Tracey. You're right, we haven't really talked at all, so why do you ask about me and him? Silly woman," she laughed, as if to close the subject, but Tracey persisted.

  "Oh, no, first he's asking me if you have a boyfriend, and now..."

  Tanya interrupted her. "He asked you if I have a boyfriend? What did you tell him?" Now her curiosity was getting the better of her.

  "I told him he should ask you, of course. I don't even know if you have one ... do you?"

  Tanya smiled but didn't answer the question. "I'm going to lie down for a while, okay? I'll see you at 11."

  As Tanya made her way into her cabin, Roberto, her steward, appeared, asking if she needed anything. Looking at him she suddenly noticed his brown eyes and the way they shone when he smiled.

  "Thank you, Roberto, but no, I am fine," she said, closing the door behind her. When she lay down on her bed she made a mental note not to think about men on board a cruise, because even though there were proving to be gorgeous guys, that was no reason to go crazy. Still, when was the last time she felt so alive and at least a little bit attractive? If nothing else, maybe this week would prove a boost for her constantly failing ego.

  * * * *

  Greg had decided that a walk probably wasn't enough to get through the frustration he felt right now, and went to the gym to do a full workout. While there, a young woman he hadn't noticed before came up and said hello to him.

  "Hi, I'm Lisa," she said as she held out her hand and gave him a very approving look from head to toe, like a lioness about to have her lunch.

  The feeling it created in Greg should have been some sort of joy since it appeared that she wanted more than just for him to say hello, but instead he felt a little bit disturbed and even a little insulted.

  "I am pleased to meet you, Lisa," he said and tried unsuccessfully to move to the treadmill.

  "And you are?" she persisted until he gave his name. "Well, Greg, maybe you would like to join me for a drink this evening. I will be doing the two shows tonight but I'll be free around 11pm. What do you say?"

  He looked at her, realising she must be a dancer or singer for the company, and knew that she would only keep at him if he tried to turn her down. He nodded, knowing he wouldn't be there.

  "Sure, I'll see you in the disco after 11 tonight," he said.

  With that she seemed satisfied and walked out. While he started to run on the treadmill, Greg considered what an awful experience that had just been. And she was an attractive woman, no doubt about it, yet he was not interested ... what was wrong with him?

  * * * *

  Eleven o'clock brought the four new found friends together once again and Tanya felt strangely happy to be indulging in something she had always considered an 'old folk' activity. Greg had sat close beside her but as the numbers started rolling she was oblivious to everything, even him. No-one in the group won during the session but, still, adrenaline was running when they left and it felt as if they had undergone some official bonding.

  "Lunch at the buffet, everyone?" Paul asked but Tracey shook her head.

  "No, let's go to the restaurant." She said, looking at Tanya with pleading in her eyes.

  Paul looked disappointed. "But the restaurant is so formal."

  Tanya joined in the conversation. "Why don't we meet up with you guys this afternoon, huh? This is a holiday - let's all do what we want to."

  "Thanks Tanya," Tracey said as they were walking away. "I just needed a break from them."

  Tanya laughed. "Oh, it had nothing to do with a certain waiter?"

  Tracey blushed and the topic was closed.

  * * * *

  The boys were playing the poker machines in the casino when Paul asked, "Greg, are you planning to make a move on Tanya?"

  "No," Greg said, shaking his head slowly. "Why?"

  "It just seems that whenever all of us are together you are checking her out, like she's bait for you."

  Greg turned to look at Paul directly. "I think Tanya is beautiful. So what of it?"

  "Well, I know Tanya is also a good person and not the kind of girl who should be treated just like any other. If you want to have a quick fling with someone, Greg, you should look elsewhere."

  Greg took a deep breath. "Paul, you have known me all my life. When have you ever seen me have a short term fling with anyone? All my relationships have been at least two years long!"

  "I know that. But I know how hard you are still trying to get over Brigitte and I see the way you look at Tanya, and I think you would do it if the opportunity was there. Am I right?"

  "Paul, let's drop the subject and get out of here. I don't want to talk about Tanya, or Brigitte, or any other woman for that matter. I wasn't in the wrong with Brigitte so don't make me look as if I were the one to have an affair. I would never treat someone like that and you know it. End of subject."

  Paul backed off. He had known Greg since they were children and had never known him to ever treat a woman badly, yet something was unnerving about the vibes that passed between him and Tanya. Already Paul was seeing her as a potential good friend and even though he also thought she was indeed beautiful, he knew she could never be interested in him in a romantic way. Paul much preferred to have women as friends than lovers. They were so dependable, yet after seeing what Greg went through with Brigitte, Paul didn't feel he could truly trust a woman romantically. He was a good looking guy but seemed set on friendships only, but he maintained hope that one day the right one would walk into his life and everything would be perfect.

  As the boys made their way out of the casino Greg became aware of how many times he had been as tense as he was now, in the first two days of what was meant to be a holiday. It was crazy that any woman should have any effect on him at all after the way he had been treated, but everyone was right - he did find himself thinking about Tanya an awful lot, considering they had just met. But, in his view, how could you be attracted to someone to the point where you are obsessed with them, when you haven't even had a proper conversation with them? This wasn't normal, he knew, and he would just have to work hard at putting her out of his mind whenever he found her there.

  * * * *

  At the same time Greg and Paul sat down to eat at the buffet, Tracey and Tanya were enjoying their meal, which had been served to them by Carlos. Every time he came over, he leaned in to Tracey in a particularly intimate way and Tanya smiled each time she saw Tracey blush. She seemed, on the outside, to be a very confident person, yet every time her waiter came near her she was very visibly affected by him.

  "Carlos, do you ever get time off work to go ashore?" Tanya asked him, a plan beginning to grow in her mind.

  Tracey turned to look at her with a surprised look on her face. When she realised what Tanya was doing, it changed to a grateful 'try as hard as you can' look.

  "Yes, I always have time off in between meals, usually two, sometimes three hours," he said, smiling at her warmly.

  "Well, we are doing a tour first thing tomorrow when we dock but maybe when we get to Skagway you would consider letting us take you out? Maybe for some lunch - for once you could have someone wait on you."

  Carlos looked from Tanya to Tracey and back again. "Are you not on tour that day? I would only be off from 2pm till 4pm so we might not be able to get together."

  Tanya smiled. "Actually our tour is only for the morning and we get back at 1 o'clock so it would be perfect. Unless you don't want to, of course."

  He laughed and looked Tracey right in the eye before smiling at Tanya once again.

  "Of course I would love to go out with two beautiful women such as yourselves. Who wouldn't?" He started to walk away. "We'll make some definite plans tomorrow, okay?"

  Tracey let all the breath out that she had been holding in, and then
smiled a spectacular smile.

  "I owe you my life, Tanya. Isn't he divine? Wow, I want to go to Mexico for my next holiday," she said and they both laughed.

  "Just you watch how close you get to Mexico this week, my dear," Tanya said, waggling a finger at her like a mother would do.

  "Yes, Mum!"

  * * * *

  The rest of the afternoon was filled with a run and a facial for the girls, and another bingo session for the boys, and when they met that evening at the welcome aboard cocktail party, they were all astounded by the difference that formal attire could create.

  "Wow, you guys look great," Tracey purred at them, proud to have two such gorgeous men by her side for the evening.

  "Thank you Tracey," Paul replied. "And I must say you gals don't look too bad yourselves."

  He put his arm in Tanya's. "Shall we mingle, my love?" he said, talking in a rich and posh accent and attempting to look debonair.

  They all laughed.

  "Oh, no, daaaaarling, we should not mingle with these commoners. Let us find some champagne instead," Tanya responded and they set out together and sought out the nearest bar steward.

  Tracey turned to Greg. "Greg, are you okay? You don't seem very happy, considering you are on a cruise with your best friend and have already met two fantastic women."

  She had hoped he would laugh a little at it, but the most she got was a mild smile.

  "Tracey, have you ever been really in love?"

  For a second she dreaded having started the conversation but something in his eyes told her now was not a time to joke.

  "No," she answered.

  He looked as if he were going to speak some more but then the other two returned and his face went tense again.

  As the Captain of the ship came to the top of the crowd to speak, Tracey whispered in Greg's ear, "Hey, I'll be here when you want to talk, okay?"

  He answered with a nod and resumed his stare at Tanya's bare back as she stood in front of him. She had her hair up tonight and he felt like he could just reach forward and kiss her neck so lightly. As the Captain spoke, everyone laughed and clapped at his speech and Greg watched Paul whisper something in Tanya's ear which made her laugh even more. From behind he could just see her smile and her eyes glittering as she looked up into Paul's. That was what he missed, the looks that a woman could give to say 'I like you a lot and want to give a part of myself to you'. The way one glance could melt him or drive him into a frenzy. That was what being in love was about, and he missed it so badly that some nights when he went to bed he wanted to actually cry - something he couldn't remember the last time he had let himself do.

  * * * *

  After the cocktail party was over they made their way to the restaurant and already Tracey was flustered again. Still Greg had said nothing to Tanya, although when she had made eye contact with him she knew that he was certainly thinking something that involved her. She was starting to get a complex about it but continued to struggle to keep it off her mind. This was a holiday, not some sort of test for her mental being, after all.

  She was broken out of her doubts when she saw Carlos' eyes glide over Tracey. The look wasn't exactly a smile but rather a look of being completely bowled over. He was at their table in a second and as he pulled her chair out for her, he was oblivious to Tanya standing nearby. She smiled at the two of them, wondering what could possibly become of their obvious attraction for each other.

  As she sat down, Carlos snapped out of his daze and apologised but she only laughed. "No problemo, Carlos."

  All through dinner, Tracey felt the eyes of the other four passengers at the table on her. They didn't say much to Tanya and Tracey, just an occasional question about their day, but the age gap seemed to be too much for them to deal with and they talked amongst themselves. Greg and Paul were out of view from them, on the other side of the restaurant, so the girls knew that for the duration of the cruise they would only have each other for conversation at formal mealtimes - besides their waiter that was.

  As they were indulging in their desserts, the boys came over to them.

  "What is the plan, ladies?" Paul asked, making both of them feel caught out with their sinful food in front of them.

  Tanya looked up at him and once again felt she had found a friend who would be close to her for a long time, even after the week was up.

  "Let's go see a movie," she said and Paul shook his head.

  "No, Tanya, tonight is formal night so we should go to the theatre to see the production show," he said in his posh imitation voice again, making the girls smile. "Whatever movie is on, we can watch another time, huh?"

  Tanya and Tracey both nodded.

  "You are quite right, Paul daaaaarling, what was I thinking? Of course we would like to attend such a gathering with such fine gentlemen. Shall we meet you there? At 10.15?"

  They all nodded and the boys left them to finish their meals. When Carlos came over to offer them coffee, she could tell that he had seen Greg and Paul at their table and was a bit curious, but knew due to his job that he was not in a position to ask. For a moment she wanted to reassure him, but knew the other passengers at the table might hear and say something to the maitre d' - that they thought a crew member was getting involved with a passenger - so she kept quiet.

  * * * *

  When the show was over, they all made their way to the disco where there were only a handful of people. "Oh no, another quiet night on board the Glacial Sun."

  Once they got settled, Greg looked at Tanya again and wanted to say something to her, anything, but found he was completely tongue tied when they were in each others' presence. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and as he walked away, Tanya watched him. He really was quite regal in his manner and she decided he must have been brought up in a very well to do home, and a very well to do family. What would he say if he knew that she came from a lower class background? No, there would never be a future with someone like that for her and she knew it.

  Tracey's voice broke her trance. "Girl, when are you two going to actually talk and admit that you're seriously attracted to each other?"

  Tanya looked at Tracey, not believing that she had said that in front of Paul, but then he joined in the conversation and stunned her even more.

  "Yeah, Tanya, I agree that you two definitely need to talk and the sooner the better. You're just making each other miserable."

  She looked at the both of them in disbelief. "Why are you both so keen on me and Greg getting together? And when have you two been discussing this, anyway?"

  "We haven't, actually," said Paul, a bit stunned himself that the conversation had finally come up. "But it's not hard to see how you react to each other. Why don't you do something positive about it?"

  "Like jump into bed with him? Someone I don't even know? Guys, I just can't do that, no matter how much I like someone when I first meet them."

  "Tanya, I'm not suggesting anything so blasé. All I wish is for you and Greg to sit down and actually talk to one another so that you can relax around each other a little bit more. Right now you're both sitting on the edge, afraid you're going to fall off. Why not just try harder to become friends, if the thought of anything else bothers you?"

  It was the first time Tanya had seen Paul look so serious and she was surprised to see that he was so sincere, although now she realised she wouldn't have expected anything else.

  Tracey spoke up. "He's right, Tanya. If you are going to be treading lightly with everything you say and do around him, how relaxing is this week really going to be for you? For any of us, for that matter?"

  "Alright, I will find a way to talk to him and try to find out what is going on. Okay?" she said and both her friends smiled and nodded. There was no more to be said.

  Tanya had just psyched herself up to ask Greg to go for a walk with her when he came back into the room. Except, as he did so, a girl came up to him and smiled as she started chatting to him.

  "Hi Greg, I was hoping you would be
here," said Lisa, the girl he had met in the gym.

  "Hi," he replied. "I'm sorry but I can't remember your name."

  He didn't want to talk to her and tried to put her off wanting to know him, but to no avail. She started talking to him, telling him about her job and about the fact that the only bad thing about it was the lack of people her own age, something that she hoped would be different this week, if only he would accept her invitation to spend the evening with her.

  Sitting back, Tanya watched with interest as Greg spoke with the girl. He had his back to the three of them, but she could see the girl, laughing and smiling at him. She turned to Paul and Tracey.

  "Actually, you guys, I don't think I am going to need to talk to our friend, Greg, now. Look," she said and subtly nodded to the two standing at the bar.

  Even Paul was surprised, although he was kind of relieved that Greg had found someone to at least get intimate with, if that was what he was after. After this many years of knowing Greg, there were still times when he didn't really know what was going on in that mind of his.

  "Lisa, you are an attractive girl and I don't want you to take this personally but I don't want to get involved with anyone right now," Greg said to Lisa and she turned on him a cat-like smile.

  "Greg, I'm not asking you for involvement, I'm asking you for a quiet evening together, just the two of us," she said, moving closer to him.

  He stood there for a moment, thinking he should be enjoying the view down her top right then, but it wasn't right and he knew it. He moved away.

  "I'm not ready for an involvement which means that I certainly am not going to sleep with anyone. To me these things go together and I'm afraid that I have to go now. I hope you find someone for the night, Lisa," he said with a slight sound of disgust to his voice.