Cruising Through to Fulfilment

by Ann M Pratley

  "It is nice and cosy in here," she said, tempting him. "Come and join me."

  He kept smiling at her, before removing himself to the bathroom.

  When he returned, he took off his clothing and climbed in beside her.

  She looked at him and saw him smiling.

  "What?" she asked him.

  "This is very … different … being in this bed with you."

  They faced each other, not touching but smiling at each other. Then Tanya saw a glimmer of seriousness pass on Greg's face.

  "You can talk to me about it, Greg. Use me as a sounding board," she said to him.

  He lay quietly for a few minutes, not smiling, just thinking.

  "I really loved her when we were together - I thought she was the one and that we would get married, have a family…"

  Tanya nodded.

  "I was fooling myself, and I was made a fool of. Perhaps that is the hardest thing to accept - not that she was with someone else, but that I was ridiculed in the process because of it. How stupid could I be, to not have seen what was going on?"

  Tanya watched him and saw his eyes moisten.

  "When I saw her today I knew for certain that I could never love her again. The pain she caused me is too much - I can only take so much," he continued.

  Now he was starting to visibly hold back tears so she moved onto her back, outstretched her arm and invited him to cuddle into her for comfort. He moved willingly, loving how secure Tanya made him feel, not just now but even during their time together on the cruise. She had a soothing effect on him and he loved it. It was so different from the dynamics of being with Brigitte, who always had to make a big deal about things and start an argument in everything. Brigitte thrived on it. Tanya, having walked away twice today when around it, had no time for it. How different they were, these two women who had both caught his attention.

  He let Tanya hold him, relaxed against her, and let himself drift off.

  Chapter 8

  In the morning Tanya woke up to find Greg asleep beside her but away from her, on the edge of the bed. He had cried much when she had held him the night before, and she felt like she certainly had seen a full range of his emotions in play, in the previous 24 hours.

  She quietly made her way to the bathroom and turned on the shower, stepping in and seizing some alone time to think about things. When she let herself do that, she thought briefly about Paul. She wondered where he was in the world now - was he safely home again? She thought about him with fondness - the friend who had the same interests as her when she was on the cruise. The knowledge he shared with her about so many things. And his way of showing how caring he was. It surprised her that he and Greg were best friends - they were so different.

  She lost herself in the shower, not caring how long she was in there, or how long Greg would have to wait for the bathroom if he woke up.

  * * * *

  Greg woke up to the sound of the shower running, and embraced the time to lie back and think about the entire day before, from morning till late. So many things had happened that took his feelings in conflicting directions. Seeing Brigitte and thinking she wanted them to be in a relationship again, only to later find out she was with someone else now anyway. And with Tanya, thinking yesterday morning that he might not see her again, then spending blissful intimate time with her, and then knowing her time was upset once again by Brigitte. And still, after all of that, Tanya had the amazing ability to still pull him into her arms and make him feel like everything was okay and nothing was wrong.

  Tanya opened the bathroom door and came out, breaking Greg out of his thoughts. The sight of her took his breath away again, as it had when he had first seen her on the Glacial Sun.

  She went to his side of the bed and sat on the edge, close to him, smiling at him.

  "Good morning," she said, leaning down and kissing him. "Did you sleep well?"

  He looked at her intently, drinking in what she looked like.

  "Yes, I did sleep really well - probably the best that I have slept in a long while. It must be something to do with the arms that were around me," he said, smiling cheekily.

  "How are you this morning?" he asked her, wondering if she would have any regrets about agreeing to spend time with him this week.

  "Oh, I am full of energy," she replied, suggestively.

  He laughed softly at her. "Oh, are you?"

  She laughed with him, then stood up and pulled the blankets back to reveal him lying there naked in front of her.

  "Hmm yes I am," she said, looking him up and down from head to toe and back again.

  Still looking and appreciating the sight of her, and even without her touching him, he felt himself harden, catching her eye.

  "Oh! I see you are too, then?" she said and he blushed.

  "Well you did say you were full of energy."

  Tanya looked at him, loving the sight of him - all of him - and took the opportunity to slowly undress before him. Leaning over him to kiss him, but still standing by the bed, she felt his hand start caressing her right where she needed him to. They stayed like this as she felt herself get moist.

  "Oh Tanya…" Greg moaned, feeling her responses to him touching her.

  She looked at him and reached for a condom, slipping it on him while he continued his caresses. She could have stood like that as long as it took for her to climax, but this time she didn't care about that, she didn't need to release … what she needed was him inside of her.

  She pushed his hand away, kissed him and manoeuvred herself over him, lowering down onto him. She arched her back, sitting upright and encouraging him to put his hands up so he could take her weight on them while she moved up and down. The feeling to her was delicious … deep … and she closed her eyes to feel it completely.

  When she opened her eyes she saw Greg watching her. Since she had met him she had considered him to be very regal in his manner and looking at him in this moment, she was reminded of that. He was serene, but at the same time she could see the intense depth of pleasure on his face.

  He lowered his hands, bringing her down to be closer to him, and kissed her. Now she moved differently - forwards and backwards instead of up and down, and her whole body was rubbing against his. He wanted to make it last - for her. But she quickened her pace, revealing her level of excitement in the sounds coming from her.

  He couldn't hold back any more and let go, holding her tightly to him as he groaned his release.

  When he opened his eyes she was smiling down at him. He kissed her again, passionately, and smiled also.

  "You keep surprising me, Miss Beautiful Tanya," he said, embracing her.

  "Oh I see ... do I? Well now I am hungry so I am going to go to the buffet," she said, smiling at him as she untangled herself from him and started to dress again. "Join me if you like."

  He jumped up and grabbed her again. "In the shower?" he asked, suggestively.

  She laughed at him. "No! I am going to eat - I am starving!"

  Tanya pulled away, finished dressing and headed toward the door as Greg made his way toward the bathroom.

  * * * *

  Heading down to the hotel restaurant alone, Tanya smiled to herself. It felt good to be sexual again - invigorating, exciting - even addictive. She had never been shy about it, but her overconfidence in it had pushed away some in her past, with them not being able to handle her not being timid. Thinking pleasant thoughts, she entered the buffet area, grabbed a plate and viewed all the delicious things before her.

  Someone tapped her on the shoulder and she turned, expecting it to be Greg. But it wasn't.

  * * * *

  Turning around, Tanya saw she was face to face with someone she now stared at in disbelief - Brigitte. Tanya was too stunned to be able to think of what to say, and for a moment considered that there was a possibility that Brigitte might not even know who she was.

  She was wrong.

  A finger raised, pointing, close to her face. "He is mine. You might think th
at he is interested in you, but he is only passing time until he is with me again," Brigitte said, quietly but definitely forcefully.

  Tanya, now starting to regain some composure and having her thinking processes slowly restoring, looked at this woman - Greg's ex girlfriend. She was quite beautiful - there was no doubt about that - but in her eyes Tanya could see something. Fear? Anxiety? Jealousy?

  Not wanting to engage with Brigitte, Tanya took a deep breath, looked her aggressor in the eye and simply replied, "Okay," before turning away to resume her selection of food for breakfast.

  Tap on the shoulder again.

  "Don't ignore me! I came here to get back with Greg, and that is what I am going to do!"

  Tanya turned to face her again, and behind could see Greg approaching. She shook her head at him, trying to silently tell him to not come forward to her, but he only looked confused. From his viewpoint he couldn't see who Tanya was facing and having a conversation with.

  As much as Tanya tried to send a silent signal to Greg, not to come forward, he just couldn't see it. He stepped up to them both, leaning around Brigitte to greet Tanya, without realising how close to his ex he was. After kissing Tanya on the cheek, he turned to look at who she had been speaking with, and was horrified.

  "Oh my fucking God! What are you doing here? Are you following me?" he asked her loudly and with obvious distress in his voice. "What do you want?"

  "I'm here to fight for you, Greg. We are meant to be together," she said, sounding desperate, with a look of fear in her eyes. "She can't give you what I can. She can't love you like I can!"

  Tanya watched on in disbelief and resignation. It was enough to make someone want to laugh hysterically, or cry out in frustration, at the craziness of the situation. If ever there was a sign - or in this case, a group of signs - that said she was not meant to be with someone, surely this was it. It was like an unending soap opera unfolding before her eyes.

  Greg let out a deep sigh and Tanya could see him fighting to maintain calm as he looked around him, aware of the other guests, and very uncomfortable.

  He turned to her, with a downtrodden look on his face, as if he also now wondered if fate were making sure they didn't spend time together.

  "I'm sorry Tanya," he said before grabbing Brigitte's arm tightly and turning, leading her out of the restaurant.

  * * * *

  Tanya stood and watched for a moment, wondering what was going to be the next chapter to appear before her. After watching them until she could not see them anymore, she turned back to the buffet, keeping her head down so that she couldn't see other guests, in case they were watching her.

  She filled her plate with food, feeling like she was in her own little bubble, and when she sat down and brought her head up, relaxed after seeing that no-one was watching her - probably no-one else had even noticed the discomfort of a few minutes before. She started eating, letting her mind wander into the unexpected situation she had found herself in. When she was on the ship the only thing that had concerned her was that Greg wasn't serious about staying with her for the week - that it would turn out to be some kind of mean joke. Ironically, now it did feel like she was party to some kind of joke, but of course it wasn't Greg's doing. It was like fate was laughing at her - not letting her just have some peaceful happiness for even one short week.

  She took her time eating breakfast, not knowing what she would do after she finished since she didn't know whether she was expected to wait for Greg, or just move on and do what she would have been doing anyway, if he hadn't been there. Thinking about that - what her plans had originally been to enjoy Vancouver for a week - she started to let herself feel happy again. She was still here, in the city that she had wanted to spend some good time in - why would she waste another moment being sad or upset at how things had panned out so far? She had plans - and she jumped up to go back to the hotel room, get organised, and start putting them back in place.

  When she came to enter the room she was hesitant - what if Greg was there - with her? But of course he couldn't be - he didn't have a key. She opened the door and relaxed at the sight of the room as it had been when she left earlier. Her things were still there - and so were his. Of course they had to be - how would he have possibly have been able to remove them.

  Walking over to the bed, though, she saw something was different. Laid on the bed was a package, with a large ribbon and bow around it. She sat down and looked at it, wondering what to do with it. Was it even for her, she asked herself. But of course it was - even if he had run away with his ex, he hadn't expected Brigitte to be at the hotel, let alone in this room.

  Tanya picked up the box and slowly pulled open the ribbon, then slid the top of the box off. Inside there was soft tissue, which she lifted gently up, revealing the gift underneath.

  She reached inside and pulled out a large dream catcher - not a commercially made one but one that had been made from hand by a craftsman. And it was beautiful. She held it up, breathless at its impressiveness. She had, of course, seen many dream catchers on her travels on the cruise, in souvenir shops, but this was something else - and Greg had singled it out as a gift for her.

  Suddenly she felt incredibly sad. Then one tear threatened. And then another. And then she was lying on the bed, letting all her emotions flow out as she cried heavily. For Greg, for people who had come and gone in her life, for how it seemed she was never to find real love … it was all too much all of a sudden, and crawling into bed and hiding from the world was an option that appealed far more than any other options for what she could do right then.

  She let herself go - let it all out, crying heavily for a long time, and when she was done she lay in the bed, looking out the window. Her senses came back to her and she started to focus on what she could actually see. It was sunny outside - the sun was shining brightly - and in the distance she could see the harbour and the mountains.

  She climbed out of bed and went to the window, taking time to really look outside. In doing so, she started to feel like she was waking up again. She looked up toward one of the hills in the distance and remembered things she had been hoping to do while in this glorious city.

  Taking a deep breath, she let herself smile before going into the bathroom to tidy herself, taking a moment to look in the mirror at herself and cringing at her red eyes. Oh well, she thought to herself, and gathered up her things and left the room, headed for the concierge desk.

  * * * *

  Stepping out of the elevator and walking toward the front desk area, she was overcome again with thoughts about Greg. She quickly dismissed them - he had made his choice and now she had to get on and do things she wanted to do.

  When she approached the concierge and asked if there was any kind of tour she could go on shortly, the gentleman behind the desk smiled at her and handed her a small brochure.

  "Your timing could not be better if you are interested in going up to Capilano - we have a bus coming in 15 minutes to pick up some other guests. I am sure we could get you on that if you like," he said warmly.

  Tanya nodded eagerly. "Yes please."

  He went away to make a call and came back, still smiling. "That is all arranged. The bus will be here in the next few minutes."

  "Thank you," she smiled at him, starting to feel excited at seeing something new. Always when she found life challenging, escaping to a new place and experiencing something new was something that Tanya had found to be effective in helping her thoughts move on and into a healthier place.

  While waiting for the bus to arrive, she stopped and looked at other brochures on display. She still had a few days until she was due to fly home, so picked out some other activities she wanted to do.

  * * * *

  The bus pulled up outside the hotel doors and the concierge called out to her softly, inviting her to move out of the hotel doors and board the bus.

  As she stepped onto the bus she took a moment to look around. Was he still at the hotel, she wondered. But he was nowhere to
be seen at this moment. Whatever he was doing with Brigitte - wherever the two of them were - they were not in her immediate view right now, so she pushed them into the back of her mind.

  The bus pulled away, bringing out in Tanya that wonderful, exciting feeling of leaving something uncomfortable behind. She relaxed back in the seat and took in the views nearby and in the distance, as she let her mind think over the crazy past two weeks.

  Looking out the window, she was confronted with the memory of Paul - all the knowledge he had shared with her, and how he had found what she had to share with him just as interesting and exciting. She found herself wondering what he was like to be involved with - she had not felt attracted to him even though he was a very attractive man. She had instantly been drawn to Greg, like they were meant to be naturally paired together. But was that how things were meant to be really? Did physical attraction really mean that two people were meant to be in a relationship together, or was it only a natural state that meant that two people were meant to physically mate, like animals in the wild, choosing their mating partner but it not necessarily leading to a long term pairing on all levels. Why would a woman choose a man who she was physically attracted to but not share any interests with, over someone she could see she would always have great conversation with about so many things? Tanya's mind churned things over and over, looking at things that had happened, and asking questions that she then endeavoured to answer herself.

  Before her the landscape changed from buildings to mountains and greenery, slowly bringing her out of her pondering state and back into this reality - this amazing place she was in. She shook her head, as if to shake away any other thoughts that tried to linger.

  The bus driver's voice spoke over the speaker, saying they were going to soon be stopping at their destination, and Tanya smiled to herself, getting excited.

  After the bus stopped, all disembarked and she stood still for a moment, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Being out in amongst nature, with fresh air all around, was invigorating. She opened her eyes and blushed as she noticed a man near her, looking at her and smiling.