My Tomorrow
Page 3
Her words were like a punch to the gut and I had to stop myself from hanging up on her.
“Mom, I’ve only been out of college four months. Things will happen for me, so please try and relax.” I heard her sigh again and I knew the conversation was over. “I love you, Mom, but I need to go.”
“Natalie, don’t hang up.”
“I can’t talk about this anymore. I know that I’ve turned into this enormous disappointment to you, but I don’t need to keep hearing about it. I’m sorry I’m not living my life the way you want me to.”
“Don’t twist my words,” my mom said, her voice laced with frustration and it was quiet again for a few seconds. “It’s okay to come home…if things get too hard. We’ll buy you a ticket and you can come back.”
“I won’t need that ticket, Mom,” I said, trying to remain calm. “Let’s just talk later.”
“As you wish, Natalie,” my mom finally said in that voice that meant she was just tolerating me and then I heard the click of the phone. I shook my head, closed my phone and hit play on the movie.
I rolled my eyes a minute later when the phone rang again. I figured it was probably my mom calling back to rehash our conversation. I definitely didn’t want to talk to her anymore, but then I looked down and saw an unfamiliar number on the display.
“May I speak with Natalie Vasser please?” a woman’s voice came through the receiver when I picked up.
“Speaking.”
“Hello, Miss Vasser. My name is Leslie Graham from Taylor and Saben Architecture. We got your name as a candidate for an office assistant.”
“Oh, hi, yes,” I said excitedly.
“We have an opening for a temporary assistant for one of our partners, Andrew Saben. Would you be interested in coming in tomorrow to speak with us?”
“Yes, definitely,” I said quickly. “What time would you like me to come?”
“Ten o’clock.”
“Sounds great. I’ll be there.”
“We look forward to meeting with you. Do you have a pen to take down the address?”
“Yes,” I said, scrambling for a pen and paper, finally finding one in a kitchen drawer and jotting down the information. “Thank you so much. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said and hung up the phone, giddy with excitement.
It was only an interview, but it was something. I was eager to tell someone and I started to dial Ethan’s number, but then stopped, knowing I couldn’t disturb him at work. I’d have to wait a few more hours till he got home.
I set the phone down and rushed to the bedroom and began scouring the closet for acceptable interview attire, but frowned as I slid past each piece of clothing, knowing nothing would work for an interview at a New York City architecture firm. It was all too Midwestern. Not chic enough. Not hip enough. I had to find something though and I finally pulled out a pair of black slacks and a white blouse. It might work if I paired it with a pretty scarf and some nice earrings. I quickly peeled off the sweatpants and t-shirt I’d been lounging in and put on the possible interview outfit. Once dressed, I looked in the full length mirror hanging on the closet door and frowned. No. This would definitely not do. The pants were too faded and the blouse was too simple. Quickly taking it off, I threw both pieces on the bed in frustration, not bothering to put them away. I flopped myself onto the bed next to the pants and shirt and stared up at the ceiling, realizing I had to get a new outfit. There was no question about it. I had no money, but I did have a credit card whose balance was too high, but it was my only option. You have to spend money to make money, right? I thought as I went back to the closet and removed my sweats and t-shirt again, this time replacing it with a pair of jeans and a sweater. I slid on my boots and grabbed my purse and headed into the hallway.
Doris was sitting outside her door reading a Jackie Collins book, while Gene’s too loud TV poured out into the hall.
“Natalie, my dear,” Doris smiled. “You look like you’re on a mission. Where’re you headed?” her raspy voice asked.
“To get a new outfit. I have an interview tomorrow.”
“Congratulations,” Doris replied with a smile.
“What’re you reading?” I asked, gesturing towards her book.
“It’s a classic and the only action I get now.” She burst out laughing and I did too.
“Any idea how to get to Bloomingdale’s?”
“Take the B train downtown.”
“Thanks. See you later, Doris.”
“I’m sure I’ll still be here when you get back. I can’t concentrate in there with that damn TV up so loud,” she said, rolling her eyes and I just laughed and waved to Doris as I headed downstairs and out onto the street.
The sun was already setting so I’d have to be quick. I doubted I’d ever get the hang of the subway system, and as I searched for it, I did my best to look like I belonged here. I was certain the real New Yorkers could see right through me though. I told myself it didn’t matter. All that mattered was finding Bloomingdale’s and getting a great outfit for the interview.
I eventually found the subway entrance a few blocks away and after a couple of wrong stops, I finally found Bloomingdale’s. As I walked in, I knew it was just a department store, but I was still in awe as I saw customers walking around holding the iconic brown bags. I took a deep breath and wandered around till I found the women’s department.
I started in the predictable pants suit section, grabbing a classic looking black blazer and matching pants. I tried it on and I felt good in it. It made me look confident, but then I wondered if I should go with something that made me stand out a little more. I was certain everyone else would be wearing a pants suit and I took it off, putting it back on the rack and began browsing the dresses.
After fifteen minutes of searching, I found four dresses I thought might be possibilities and headed back to the fitting room. I looked through them again before starting to try them on. The first three were cute, but I didn’t feel the least bit comfortable in them. The first was too tight and showed too much skin. I liked the second one, but I thought the green fabric paired with my auburn hair made me look like a Christmas decoration and the third one was just not me. It bunched at the chest and the uneven hem line was too trendy for my taste. Then I pulled on the fourth one. It molded perfectly to my body and I knew I liked it before I even saw my reflection. When I turned to the mirror, I smiled. It was an aubergine French Connection jersey dress with a deep v-neck that hung just above my knees. Ruffled cap sleeves and a black abstract print finished it off. It looked hip and modern, while still professional. I knew it was the one until I glanced at the price tag. $128. I didn’t really have $128 to spend, but I needed the dress to help get a job and I talked myself into the purchase, doing my best to push the price to the back of my mind and quickly got dressed.
I wasn’t done with just the dress though. By the time I left Bloomingdale’s, I was the proud owner of a new pair of polished pumps with a heel that was a little high for my comfort level for another $75 and a chunky black necklace for $50. I refused to let myself think of the price though as I headed back to the apartment.
I walked quickly up the stoop and fumbled with the key and walked inside. It still amazed me how dead the building always seemed. I expected some sort of activity, but it seemed as if there was hardly ever any. Reaching the top of the stairs, I noticed Doris was no longer outside and I couldn’t hear Gene’s TV. Either he’d finally agreed to turn it down or Doris had had enough and killed Gene. I chuckled to myself and bet on the latter scenario.
Our apartment door swung open swiftly as I approached and Ethan stood in the doorway looking distraught.
“Where have you been?” he exclaimed.
“Shopping,” I said, holding up the brown bag from Bloomingdale’s, sliding past him into the apartment. He shut the door and I set the bag on the table. “What’s the matter?”
“I’ve been worried sick. I’ve been trying to call you.”
“You have?” I aske
d. I hadn’t heard my phone ring, but when I pulled out my cell, there were three missed calls from him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even hear my phone.”
“I was scared to death,” he said with a shaky voice. “I came home and you were nowhere to be found. It’s dark and you shouldn’t be out alone when it’s dark.”
“I said I was sorry, Ethan. I didn’t expect you home yet.”
“You should’ve at least texted me to tell me where you were going!”
“I didn’t want to bother you.”
“A text is not bothering me!”
“Stop shouting at me, Ethan. I said I was sorry and I am.”
He sighed and ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair.
“You can’t just go off without telling me where you’re going. I’m responsible for you, Natalie.”
“You are not responsible for me. I’m responsible for myself,” I fired back.
“I know that,” he said, his voice calming a little, but I knew he was still frustrated. “I know you’re responsible for yourself, but I feel a responsibility to keep you safe and I can’t do that if you don’t tell me where you’re going. We just moved here, Natalie. You’re still not used to the city.” He was talking low and seriously and it hit me how worried he’d actually been. “I kept imagining all this awful stuff having happened to you. I don’t know what I’d do if something ever happened to you.”
“Hey,” I said, stepping over to him, taking his hand in mine. “I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to worry you and I won’t do it again.”
I didn’t want him to worry about me, but I knew he only did because he loved me. I wrapped my arms around him and I waited for him to do the same to me. He hesitated, but then I felt his arms around me too, resting his chin on my head. I loved when he did that. I wasn’t exactly sure why. Maybe it was because he seemed so powerful dwarfing me like that. It didn’t matter why, just that I did. He truly loved me. I didn’t know why he did, but he did.
“I really am sorry, Ethan,” I whispered and he kissed me on the head. It was quiet for a few moments and I could tell he was still upset.
“I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“What are you doing home so early anyway? I didn’t expect you back for a few hours,” I said a few moments later, pulling back and leading him to the couch.
“It was a little slow tonight, so, being the low man on the totem pole, they sent me home.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, snuggling into him.
“It’s fine. I’d much rather be here with you,” he said, leaning down and kissing me. “Who needs to eat anyway?” He tried to laugh, but I knew it was forced. Those few hours of pay we were missing out on was not a laughing matter, but since it was out of his control, that was all he could do.
I rested my head on his chest, listening to the gentle rise and fall of his breathing. I was dying to tell him about the interview, but since we’d arrived in the city, it felt like we’d hardly had any time together and I just wanted to enjoy this moment with him for a little longer, the way it used to be back in Iowa, before he worked twelve hour days and we were scraping by on Ramen and peanut butter sandwiches.
“So,” he finally said. “Shopping?” He gestured towards the brown bag. “Did you forget that we’re poor?”
“I needed some new stuff.”
“For what? Lounging around the house?” he laughed and even though I knew he was joking, it hurt anyway.
“No,” I snapped back. “For my interview tomorrow.”
“What?” he exclaimed, sitting up. “You got an interview?” I smiled and nodded as a grin spread across his face. “Tell me about it. When did this happen?”
“They called late this afternoon. It’s for an office assistant at an architecture firm.”
“Really? That’s great,” he said and I couldn’t tell which of us was happier.
“I’m so nervous, but I’m excited. I doubt anything will come of it though,” I said and I could feel my smile from earlier turning into a frown.
“Well, yeah, with that attitude nothing will come of it. Stop being such a downer. Have some faith in yourself and I’m sure they’ll see how amazing you are.”
“I wish I believed in myself as much as you do.”
“That’s why you keep me around, so I can put things into perspective.”
“True, very true.” I laughed as I looked into his dark eyes, grazing my finger tips over his cheek.
“I’m happy for you, Nat.”
“Wouldn’t it be great if it panned out? Then you wouldn’t have to be my sugar daddy anymore.”
“I like being your sugar daddy,” he said, pulling me close to him.
“You smell like garlic bread, ya know that? You need to get this off.” I grinned at him coyly as I began unbuttoning his black work shirt.
He didn’t fight me. Ethan never fought me and I continued to undo each button. As my fingers moved over the fabric, I could feel his breathing picking up and when I brushed over his bare skin as his shirt fell open, a mass of goosebumps exploded on his chest. Soon, all of the buttons were undone and the shirt fell open. Slowly, I moved my hands over his chest and then peeled the shirt off so he sat in just his black slacks, looking entirely too sexy. My fingertips traced over his skin, his stomach tightening as I brushed over his abdomen. I watched as his chest began to rise and fall even faster and then suddenly he stood up, staring down at me before scooping me in his arms and walking me to the bedroom.
He didn’t say anything as he laid me on the bed. His dark hair was hanging on his forehead and the fire in his eyes as he stared down at me was hot. He yanked at my pants with more force than I expected and a second later, they were on the floor. Taking my hand, he pulled me up so my feet hung over the side of the bed. He was on his knees before me a second later and then his hands were on me, pushing up my sides, running over my skin. I didn’t stop him when he encouraged my hands over my head, lifting my shirt off me, tossing it to the floor so I was sitting before him in just my bra and panties. He stood up then, quickly sliding out of his pants and then he was kneeling in front of me again, pushing my legs apart, settling in close to me as he reached around me, unclasping my bra before slipping his fingers in my panties, inching them off slowly. His lips were on the skin of my inner thigh as he encouraged me to lie back onto the bed again. I closed my eyes, putting everything behind us…all the stress we’d been under since we moved to New York. I couldn’t take it anymore as his lips continued to dance on my skin. I sat up and he was looking at me from his knees and I couldn’t wait any longer. I pulled him to me, smashing my mouth against his as he fell on top of me and for the first time since moving to the city, I felt that anything was possible.
Four
The alarm went off at seven a.m. Ethan was still sleeping, the sheet draped over his legs, leaving his bare torso exposed with one arm resting across his chest while the other was sprawled on the pillow, obviously spent from our activities the night before. I grinned to myself and blushed when I thought about what we’d done. I felt good though. It’d cleared my head and I almost felt ready for the interview.
Ethan hadn’t even flinched at the alarm though and I did my best not to wake him as I crawled out of bed. He looked so peaceful and he needed to sleep. He’d been doing nothing but working since we arrived in New York and I hoped I would be too after the day’s interview.
I grabbed a bowl of cereal before hopping in the shower. When I was done, I dried myself off and slid on the new dress. I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering if I’d made the right choice. There was no doubt it was cute, but was it right for the interview? Perhaps I should’ve gone with the pants suit. I just shook my head. There wasn’t anything I could do about it now. The pants suit was on the rack at Bloomingdale’s and the dress was on my body.
After my make-up was on and I’d dried and flat ironed my hair so it was long and sleek to the middle of my back, I put on the new necklace, slipped on the new pumps and spra
yed a little perfume before looking one last time in the mirror, taking a deep breath and walking into the living room.
It was just past eight-thirty and I needed to head out so I wouldn’t be late. New York was still a mystery to me and I didn’t want to take a chance getting lost. I’d looked up the right subways to take online and I prayed I’d get there without incident, but with my luck, I knew anything could happen.
I grabbed my purse and peeked into the bedroom. Ethan was still sleeping, only now he was stretched out on his side. Tiptoeing inside, I leaned down, kissing him softly on the cheek. His eyes stirred and opened a moment later.
“I’m heading out. I just wanted to say goodbye,” I said quietly and he rubbed his eyes and sat up.
“Wow,” he said in the rugged voice I always found so sexy in the morning. “You look fantastic.”
“You think so? You think this is okay for an interview?” I asked, the doubt creeping in again.
“Seriously. You look hot,” he said, rubbing his eyes again.
“Stop,” I said, playfully smacking his arm.
“Whatever you spent was worth it, even if we get our electricity cut-off so we can pay for it,” he laughed and then he smiled, his face softening.
“Good luck, Nat. You’ll be great.”
“I hope so,” I said softly, my eyes drifting down as the nerves kicked in. I felt him sit up and then he was gently tilting my chin so our eyes met.
“You’re amazing, Natalie. Just remember that,” he said, his voice unwavering and then he kissed me, his lips lingering just long enough for me to want to throw the whole interview aside and jump back into bed with him.
“I’ll try and remember that,” I said when he’d finally pulled away. “If I’m not back before you leave, have a good day at work.”
“Will do. I love you,” he said from the bed and smiled and waved as I headed towards the door.
“Love you too.”
I could hear him lie back down and curl up in the blankets. I wanted to join him. I wanted to crawl back under the warm covers next to him, but I had more pressing matters to attend to: landing a job. I did a quick check to make sure I had everything and then stepped out into the entryway. All was quiet at Doris and Gene’s and I had to admit I was a little disappointed. I looked forward to Doris’s smiling face when I left the apartment and some of Doris’s cheer sounded good right about now to pump me up for the interview. It was probably good she wasn’t in the hallway though. I couldn’t afford to get caught up in a conversation and be late.