My Tomorrow

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “No.” The word came out in one forceful syllable and I was startled by his lack of playfulness.

  “C’mon, Ethan,” I continued to beg as he retained the grip on my wrist. “I need you.”

  “I said no, Natalie. I can’t do this right now. I have to get to work.”

  “I miss you, Ethan,” I said and he sighed, but I couldn’t ignore the slight roll of his eyes.

  “Don’t make me feel guilty for going to work.” He seemed a little angry and I didn’t say anything as I stepped back from him, his grip loosening until I was free of his grasp. We didn’t say anything to each other. He just kissed me before grabbing his keys and heading out. The apartment was quiet and I was alone, again.

  ~~~

  It was nearly six o’clock and I’d just finished watching the second season of Mad Men on Netflix. I didn’t think I could stand another moment of TV, but I had nothing else to do. This reclusive life was getting old fast. I shut my laptop and made my way into the kitchen, scouring the cupboards for something to eat. Nothing looked appetizing. I was craving Chinese food from the restaurant down the street, but knew I shouldn’t. Take out cost money, which was something we had very limited amounts of at the moment and the foreseeable future since I’d blown the first and only interview I’d had. I pushed the craving aside and instead decided on spaghetti, or my version of spaghetti. Ground beef was expensive, so my spaghetti would just be noodles and an off-brand jar of sauce. We were too poor to even afford Ragu.

  I sat myself down with my dinner, staring at the red slop, suddenly wishing I was at home enjoying one of my mom’s delicious home cooked meals. Even if she did piss me off, there was no denying she was an amazing cook. Chicken and dumplings sounded good or maybe the eggplant parmesan she made with the homemade sauce recipe she’d learned from my grandma. My mouth watered just thinking about it and anything would’ve been better than this lame attempt at a meal. It was sustenance at least and I twirled it onto my fork, eating it reluctantly as I resumed my Mad Men marathon.

  I was engrossed in my show and eating the last few bites of my pasta when the phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number. It had a Manhattan area code though, and I picked it up curiously.

  “Hello?”

  “May I speak with Natalie please?” A voice came through the receiver. It was familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

  “This is her,” I replied.

  “Hi, Natalie. This is Leslie Graham from Taylor and Saben.”

  “Oh hi, Leslie,” I said, my heart pounding as I came to terms that this was it. It was the moment of truth. I’d either be elated or crushed by the end of this phone call.

  “I’m calling to offer you the position you interviewed for today,” Leslie said in a flat voice.

  “Oh,” I said, my tongue suddenly tied and I struggled for a moment to formulate more words. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon.”

  “Well, the decision was easier than I expected.” Leslie’s voice didn’t offer any feeling. I still couldn’t read this woman. “I take it you’d like the job?”

  “Definitely. Thank you!” I said, trying to tone down the excitement in my voice. I wanted to sound professional, not desperate.

  “Would you be able to start tomorrow? You can come in and meet with HR to fill out paperwork and get oriented with the office.”

  “Yes. I can come in tomorrow no problem. What time should I be there?”

  “Everyone usually gets here around eight o’clock, so if you could be here around 8:30, that would be good.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  “Alright. We’ll see you tomorrow. Welcome to Taylor and Saben.”

  “Thank you, Leslie. See you tomorrow,” I said and hung up the phone, slamming it down on the table, standing up and doing a little dance, unable to contain my excitement. I got the job! I didn’t know how, but I got the job and I couldn’t wait to tell Ethan.

  ~~~

  I knew I should go to sleep. I actually had to get up early in the morning, but I couldn’t sleep, not without telling Ethan. I’d nearly forgotten about the tension between us when he’d left for work. That didn’t matter now. I just wanted to tell him.

  I was lying in bed, in the middle of a book that was a little too scary to be reading while I was home alone late at night, but it was good and it made the time pass. I heard the doorknob turning shortly after midnight and I could hear him tiptoeing in the living room, trying not to wake me.

  “You don’t have to be quiet. I’m awake,” I called to him and he appeared in the doorway a moment later looking exhausted. His shirt was unbuttoned enough at the top so I could see the tan skin of his chest peeking out. His hair was disheveled in that way that turned me on and he was looking at me curiously, obviously noticing the wide grin on my face.

  “What are you doing awake?” he asked, walking into the room and sitting down at the foot of the bed.

  “Couldn’t sleep.”

  “Why do you look so happy?”

  “Because,” I said, my smile growing even wider. “I couldn’t go to bed without telling you that I got the job.”

  It was my turn to watch the grin spread across his face so wide the dimple in his left cheek appeared.

  “You’re serious?” he said quietly and I nodded.

  “Dead serious. Leslie called tonight and offered me the job. I start tomorrow.”

  “What the hell? You said you bombed it!” he exclaimed excitedly.

  “I did bomb it! They must’ve been desperate.” We both started laughing and I set my Kindle down as Ethan climbed towards me on the bed, kicking off his shoes before pulling the covers back and getting in beside me.

  “This is fantastic, Natalie. I’m so happy for you.”

  He leaned in then, pulling me to him and kissing me, slowly at first and I felt myself easing back onto the pillows, sinking in and pulling him on top of me.

  “I’m so relieved,” I said between kisses.

  “I told you everything would be okay,” he said softly as he pulled away from my lips and began planting kisses down my neck and then onto my collarbone. My fingers were undoing the buttons of his shirt a moment later and then I was pulling it off of him and tossing it to the floor before I felt his hands inching my tank top off and it joined his shirt a second later. It didn’t take long for our pants to end up on the ground too.

  “This job is going to change everything,” I said as his body moved over mine and he sat up, staring down at me, his dark brown hair hanging on his forehead, his eyes peeking out and a half-smile pulling up on his face.

  “I told you everything would be okay. Even if you hadn’t gotten the job…it would’ve been okay. I’ll always take care of you, Natalie. Always.” I watched as his eyebrows furrowed and a straight, serious line replaced the smile that had been there only moments before. “I love you, Natalie. So much.”

  I didn’t have time to say anything because his mouth was on mine before I could reply and our bodies began to move with each other. I couldn’t think about anything else. Not today. Not tomorrow. Just now and him and the way he felt and how much I loved him.

  Five

  The alarm went off at 6:30. Ethan was still sleeping, but when I pulled the covers back, he began to stir and his eyes slowly opened. After I’d told him and after the fun we’d had in bed, we’d stayed up talking, the way we used to before we’d moved to New York and real life smacked us in the face. It was nice sitting with him, laughing and joking. I was still giddy from the job offer and he had indulged my incessant babble. Needless to say though, the late night had left us both tired. At least he still had a few more hours to sleep, but I had to get up.

  “I’ve gotta get ready to go,” I said, climbing out of bed.

  He smiled and nodded and turned over on his side and fell back asleep.

  I watched him for a second. I’d always thought he was so cute when he slept, but then the clock caught my eye again, reminding me I needed to
hurry and get ready. I walked to the bathroom and realized I wasn’t as tired as I should be after our late night. I was too excited about my first day. I took a quick shower and slipped on my white terrycloth robe before blow drying my hair, running a flat iron over it and then pulled it into a stylish ponytail. After putting my make up on, I tiptoed into the bedroom. I could tell Ethan was still sound asleep by his deep breathing. I slipped on a black skirt and white blouse before sliding on my black pumps. I stared into the mirror and knew this look would fit right in at Taylor and Saben. I needed to get some more outfits though. I only had a few things I could wear to work and I could only mix and match so much before everyone realized I was wearing the same outfits every day.

  “See you tonight. I love you,” I whispered into Ethan’s ear and kissed him on the cheek as I got ready to leave.

  “Love you too. Good luck, babe. Call me when you can to let me know how your day’s going,” he said groggily and I turned to walk away, but then I felt his hand on my arm, pulling me back to him. He looked exhausted, his head resting against the pillow, but his eyes were looking at me seriously. “You’re going to be awesome today because you are awesome.”

  I felt my cheeks blush a little. I didn’t know why Ethan loved me so much or why he had so much faith in me, but I wouldn’t question it because he did love me and that is what would get me through this new journey.

  “Thanks,” I said, kissing his cheek. “See you tonight.” He smiled and I could feel him watching me as I walked out of the room. I grabbed my purse and a bagel to eat on the subway and opened the door to head out, only to see Doris sitting across the hall.

  “Don’t you look smart,” Doris said with a warm smile as I shut the door.

  “Thanks.”

  “Where are you headed so early all dressed up?”

  “To work.”

  “Work? When did this happen?”

  “Yesterday. You’re looking at the new office assistant at Taylor and Saben,” I grinned.

  Doris let out a low whistle and shook her head.

  “Fancy Shmancy,” she laughed.

  “Today’s my first day and I don’t wanna be late, so I’d better get going.”

  “Good luck, Natalie.”

  “Thanks, Doris. I’ll see you tonight and I can tell you all about my first day.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  I smiled and practically skipped down the stairs and into the cool morning air. I made a mental note to purchase a nice light coat to wear to work with my first paycheck.

  I picked at the bagel on the train, but could hardly eat it. I was too nervous about my first day. I didn’t want to mess this up. I couldn’t mess this up. I needed this job. Ethan needed me to do well at this job. We needed me to do well.

  I tried my best to ignore the nerves swimming in my stomach when the subway reached my stop. I pulled myself together, stood up, brushed bagel crumbs from my skirt and walked onto the platform. I found a trash can and threw the bagel in before climbing the stairs to street level and was greeted with the same hustle and bustle as yesterday. Businesspeople were clambering all around me, the only difference today was that I was one of them. Well, maybe not a businessperson, but I worked for a businessperson at least. I could pretend I was important.

  I walked quickly towards 435 and found it without any trouble, unlike yesterday. I walked confidently into the building and brushed by the grumpy old man at the desk, smiling, but he just sat there and ignored me. I wasn’t going to let Mr. Grumpy bother me. Not today because today was going to be a good day. I had a job. My life in New York was picking up and I was happy.

  The elevator doors opened and I squeezed in with the crowd. I couldn’t believe so many people could pack into one elevator. I doubted it could be safe, but I just shook my head, trying to stop myself from focusing on safe elevator capacity and on what mattered: making a good impression on my first day.

  When the elevator reached the fourteenth floor, I walked out with another person. He walked straight past Christa at reception and I figured he was an employee. I, however, walked nervously up to the desk. Christa smiled when I approached and I wondered if she remembered me from yesterday.

  “I’m Natalie Vasser. I’m starting here today.”

  “I heard you’d been hired. Congratulations. Welcome to Taylor and Saben. I’ll let Leslie know you’re here.”

  “Thanks.” I smiled and sat down in the same gray chair as yesterday. A few minutes later, Leslie appeared. Today her curly brown hair was pulled back and she was wearing a gray suit with a pink blouse. I wasn’t sure why, but she intimidated me more today than yesterday.

  “Good morning. Please come back,” Leslie said and I stood and followed her into the maze of the office. “How are you today?” Leslie asked as we walked past the conference room we’d met in the day before.

  “I’m great. I’m very excited to be here.”

  “We’re glad to have you,” Leslie answered, but I didn’t think her feelings matched her words. “James, he’s head of HR, is on a conference call right now, so I’ll show you to your desk. You can meet with him once he’s done.”

  “Sounds good,” I replied as we kept walking past my engrossed co-workers. They all looked focused and I wondered if it was always this serious.

  “Here we are,” Leslie said, stopping at a small oak desk. There were two other desks near mine and their occupants looked up when they heard Leslie’s voice. “This is Natalie Vasser. She’ll be filling the temporary position as one of Mr. Saben’s assistants. Natalie, this is Court Mayhew and Anna Beth Yang. They can fill you in on daily routines and responsibilities and I’ll let you know when James is available.”

  “Thanks, Leslie,” I said and Leslie smiled before turning and heading back to her office.

  I just stood there feeling like a sideshow circus freak as Court and Anna Beth stared at me. I hadn’t expected Leslie to just drop me off. I expected some more guidance, some kind of orientation, but she’d just left and now I didn’t know what to do. I thought for a second and then decided I’d start by placing my purse on the desk I assumed was mine.

  “So, you’re our new team member?” Court said, standing up and walking over to me. He was tall and skinny, with perfectly manicured blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He had a baby face with deep dimples when he smiled. His gray slacks were pressed perfectly and his black shirt and silver tie coordinated exactly.

  “I am. Good to meet you,” I said, trying to sound more confident than I felt.

  “Likewise,” Court said, holding out his hand to me. I shook it and I knew I was going to like Court. “Like Leslie said, that’s Anna Beth.” Anna Beth had pencil straight black hair that hung to her shoulders and dark almond shaped eyes.

  “I’ll bet you didn’t expect an Asian girl named Anna Beth,” she looked up with a half-smile from her desk. “My parents moved here from China before I was born and wanted me to have an American name. You can’t get more American than Anna Beth, although I feel like I should be wearing a prairie dress and milking cows all day.” We all started laughing and I thought I’d probably like Anna Beth too.

  “Yes, Anna Beth and I both have name issues,” Court piped in.

  “What’s your name issue?” I asked. “I mean, Court is a little unusual, but what’s wrong with it?”

  “It’s short for Courtney,” he grinned. “It’s an old family name. They might as well have named me Lisa,” he laughed. “And they wonder why I turned out the way I did.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

  “He’s gay,” Anna Beth chimed in.

  “Oh, that’s cool,” I said, again not knowing what kind of a reaction he expected. I didn’t care about his sexual orientation.

  “It figures,” Anna Beth continued. “The cute ones always are.”

  “She wants me. She has since she first started working here.”

  “One more thing you should know about Court is that he’s crazy,” Anna Beth sa
id, rolling her eyes and I just laughed.

  “Stop denying it.”

  “In your dreams, Court.”

  “In your dreams,” he teased and then turned back to me. “Has Leslie shown you around at all?”

  “No. I just saw a conference room yesterday and now this.”

  “Well then, I’ll take you around. Be right back, Anna Beth.”

  Anna Beth just flipped her hand towards us and concentrated on something on her computer. I got in stride with Court and he showed me around the office. It wasn’t as big as I first thought, but it was still a good size and everyone continued working busily. I wondered if anyone ever had any fun in this place.

  “Is it always this serious in here?” I whispered as we walked.

  “Not always. In the morning, everyone’s asses are always clinched, but it usually lightens up. Plus, everyone’s busy working on this big new project Drew’s heading, some Japanese funded cultural arts center. Everyone’s all tense and nervous, hence the need for another assistant.”

  “You don’t seem nervous.”

  “I’m not because Drew is a rock star when it comes to this stuff and he always pulls off amazing work.”

  “Is he easy to work for?”

  “Usually. As long as you do your job, he’s cool. Hard to concentrate around though.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Have you seen the guy?”

  “He sat in on my interview yesterday.”

  “He did? He usually leaves that stuff up to Leslie.”

  “He walked in accidently. I don’t think it was planned.”

  “Well then, you see what I’m talking about then. He’s one of those alarmingly attractive people.”

  “Alarmingly attractive? That’s a new one,” I laughed.

  “You know what I mean, the kind that is just so beautiful you can’t believe they really exist,” Court laughed and I joined him. I couldn’t deny that he was right though. Mr. Saben was alarmingly attractive as Court had said. “C’mon. Don’t tell me you didn’t notice.”