My Tomorrow

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “What’s he unhappy about?”

  “I don’t know,” he spat out, but I knew he wasn’t mad at me. He was mad at Mr. Tashawa, but he wasn’t here to be upset with…I was. “He doesn’t like the plans. He doesn’t like the design. I don’t know what he wants, but I’ve gotta figure out a way to give him what he wants. A lot’s riding on this project,” he said, looking around again. “Maybe it’s the location. Maybe this isn’t right,” he said to himself.

  “You’ll figure it out,” I said and before I realized what I was doing, my hand rested supportively on his knee, the way his had on mine in my apartment before Ethan came home. Drew looked at my hand for a moment and then he looked up at me. I realized too late, a hand on my boss’s knee was not the appropriate way to provide reassurance and I carefully lifted it away while trying not to be too obvious. “You’re amazing, Drew. You’re amazing at what you do and this time will be no different.”

  He just grinned timidly at me.

  “You’re easy to talk to, Natalie. I mean it. You’re not jaded like most people in the city. You’re genuine and I like that.”

  “Thanks,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ear and it was quiet again for a few moments.

  I could hear the commuter train rumbling in from New Haven and a dog barking as I thought about my conversation the day before with Court and Anna Beth, taking in a calming breath before I decided to ask him about it.

  “I heard about a rumor in the office,” I began and he looked at me curiously.

  “What rumor?”

  I sighed and I started tapping my foot, a nervous habit I wasn’t even aware of half the time.

  “There’s a rumor in the office that it wasn’t my qualifications that got me this job,” I said nervously, hoping he could insinuate the rest. I glanced up briefly at him and noticed his hair blowing back in the wind and his mouth forming into a serious line for a moment before he let out a light laugh.

  “I see,” he said, nodding his head. “And I assume Court informed you of this rumor?”

  “I’d rather not say,” I said and he nodded again.

  “I assure you, it was your credentials that got you the job, but there is some truth to the rumor.”

  It was my turn to glance at him with a confused expression.

  “It wasn’t just your credentials. I’m grateful I stumbled into your interview. I’m not sure you know this or not, but there were quite a few more lined up after you,” he said, but I didn’t lead on that I was well aware of that fact. “But, after I sat in on your interview, I told Leslie to cancel those and hire you.”

  “Why?” I asked quietly, curious to hear his reasoning as compared to Court’s thoughts.

  “I consider myself a fairly good judge of character, Natalie. I like to surround myself with people I like and trust, especially when they’re going to be working as closely with me as my assistants. I have to feel a connection with them and when I spoke with you, I felt it immediately.”

  “Did you feel a connection with Court and Anna Beth too?” I asked hesitantly.

  “Yes. Court may be a bit of a goof off, but he knows his stuff and he’s as honest as they come and Anna Beth…well, you couldn’t ask for a more loyal or hard working assistant. With you, it was your refreshing take on life and the new ideas you could bring and I knew you’d be a perfect fit with our team and that’s why I told Leslie to offer the job to you. I don’t normally sit in on interviews. I let Leslie weed out the candidates and then I meet with her recommendations. I’m just glad I happened upon yours.”

  “She wouldn’t have recommended me, would she?” I asked nervously and he smiled.

  “Probably not,” he said bluntly and it was obvious he immediately noticed the look of hurt that registered on my face. “Leslie is a stickler for formal qualifications and experience and while I am too, I’m more into character and that’s what I liked about you.”

  “I’m sorry about the mistake with the purchase order. I really am trying to do a good job,” I said seriously.

  “I know you are. It’s obvious and I’m sorry Leslie spoke to you like that today.”

  “She was just making sure I was doing my job.”

  “No, she wasn’t. She wanted to make sure you knew you’d made a mistake. She won’t be doing that again,” he said and before I could thank him for defending me, he clapped his hands together and stood up. “How about some gelato?”

  “Excuse me?” I asked, standing up and walking beside him.

  “I feel like some gelato. What about you?”

  “I’ve never had gelato,” I said and his eyes practically bugged out of his head.

  “You’ve never had gelato?” he asked, obviously flabbergasted by my revelation.

  “No, I haven’t,” I confirmed and he sighed playfully, grabbing my hand.

  “Well, we’re going to take care of that then,” he said, leading me to the curb to hail a cab.

  ~~~

  Drew led me into a small shop in the Little Italy section of New York, the Brooklyn Bridge off in the distance. There were a few customers at tables and a heavy set woman behind the counter when we walked in.

  “They have the best gelato in the city here,” he said as we walked up to the counter.

  “Mr. Saben! It’s so good to see you!” the woman behind the counter said jovially when she saw him. Her accent was thick and her smile was wide.

  “Hi, Maria,” he said with a warm grin. “My friend, Natalie, here just informed me she has never had gelato, so I had to bring her here to get some of yours.”

  “You’ve never had gelato?” Maria gasped and I shook my head. “Where did you find this girl?”

  “Iowa,” Drew said and then he and Maria both started laughing.

  “Well, let’s take care of this little problem right now,” Maria said, reaching for a cup and then began scooping what looked like strawberry ice cream into it.

  “Don’t I even get a say in what flavor I want?” I whispered.

  “No,” he laughed.

  “For you. Fragola. Strawberry.” Maria was reaching her chubby arm over the counter to hand me the cup.

  “Thank you,” I said, taking the gelato.

  “And for you?” Maria asked, looking over to Drew.

  “I’ll take lemon, please.”

  Maria busily scooped up Drew’s serving.

  “And limone, for you,” she said as she handed him the cup.

  She rang up the purchase at the register. I clearly saw the total came to $6.50, but Drew handed Maria a twenty dollar bill and refused change.

  “That’s too much, Mr. Saben,” Maria argued.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said and winked at Maria who just giggled.

  Once at a small table near a window, Drew was smiling eagerly at me.

  “Why the grin? You look like the Chesire Cat,” I laughed.

  “Just anxiously awaiting your reaction.”

  I nodded and scooped the gelato into my mouth, fully aware that Drew was watching my every move. It was sweet and smooth like a mixture of ice cream and ice and I instantly loved it.

  “Well?” he asked.

  “Mmm,” I said, turning the spoon over in my mouth and slowly removing it, getting every last bit of it.

  “I take it you like it then?” he said, taking a bite of his.

  “Uh, yeah,” I said sarcastically, spooning in another mouthful. “It’s delicious.”

  “Told you,” he smiled and then held out his spoon. “Try some lemon.” I looked at the spoon hesitantly. “I don’t have any communicable diseases that I’m aware of,” he laughed. “Just try it.”

  I took it from him, our fingers brushing as I did so, and spooned the gelato into my mouth. It was sweet and tangy.

  “That’s good too. I think I like the strawberry a little better though. Wanna try some?” I asked, holding out a dollop to Drew.

  “You’re right. That’s good,” he said, handing the spoon back and then out
of the corner of my eye, I saw Maria approaching us. She set a cup on the table with two spoons.

  “Such a beautiful couple,” she smiled, looking between Drew and I. “You need to share some of this. Cioccolato al latte. Milk chocolate.”

  I felt myself blush at Maria’s assumption and my eyes met Drew’s.

  “Um…we’re not…” I stammered, but then I felt Drew’s hand on mine and he smiled playfully at me.

  “Thank you, Maria. That’s very sweet of you.”

  “Don’t let this one get away,” Maria said, grabbing Drew by the chin for a moment. “I like her and you look happy.” Maria turned and winked at me and I just blushed again.

  “Well,” I began once Maria was gone. “She’s not very insightful, is she?”

  “No, I guess not,” Drew laughed. “Then again though…maybe she is.” He grinned and I looked away for a moment as my heart beat a little faster. “You seem embarrassed actually.”

  “Perhaps I am, a little.”

  “Is it that humiliating to be mistaken for my girlfriend?” he grinned.

  “No!” I said quickly. “That’s not what I meant. I was just saying…” I stuttered, but his laughter stopped me.

  “You’re so easy to fluster. Regardless though, it’s fun to pretend on occasion. To pretend to live a life you don’t really. Like right now. You and me. Everyone here assumes we’re a couple. I could pretend to propose to you right now or we could get in an argument and you could throw this gelato here in my face. To everyone else, it would all be real and we’d be the only ones who know the truth.” The grin on his face was playful, but I saw something more behind the smirk when he held out a spoonful to me. “And as your pretend boyfriend, I insist you take a bite.” The spoon was hovering just inches from my mouth and I opened as he slid the spoon inside. My lips closed around it and then he slid it slowly out. I swallowed, but my eyes never left his and he wasn’t smiling anymore as his gaze drifted to my mouth and we were quiet until he spooned himself some.

  “Now that,” he said, pointing to the gelato. “Is good.”

  “Yeah, it is,” I said and I wondered if I was the only one whose heart was beating fast.

  We were quiet for a few moments as we continued to eat and then I had to say something to break the silence.

  “I love chocolate. I could eat anything chocolate all day, every day,” I said, taking another bite. “It doesn’t matter when. When I’m sad, when I’m happy, as long as it’s chocolate, I’ll eat it. Not dark chocolate or white chocolate though. It’s gotta be milk chocolate.”

  “You’ve got a sweet tooth then?”

  “Yes, especially when it comes to chocolate. I love Hershey bars with almonds and I could devour a huge bag of M&Ms in one sitting.”

  “I find that hard to believe.”

  “You shouldn’t,” I laughed as I heard a beep coming from Drew’s pocket. He pulled his phone out and read a text. A scowl crossed his face and he shoved it back in his pocket.

  “It’s Leslie. I’m needed back at the office.” He stood up, holding onto both the lemon and chocolate gelatos. “We’ll finish these in the cab.”

  Outside, I couldn’t help but laugh as Drew tried to hail a cab with the gelatos still in hand. I offered to help, but he insisted he was fine. A cab finally stopped and we climbed inside. As we drove, we each finished eating and then shared the chocolate one till there was nothing left.

  “I wish we didn’t have to go back to work,” Drew complained once we’d arrived back. He hardly sounded like a partner in an architectural firm. Instead he sounded like a kid not wanting to go to class.

  “Well, you’ve kinda gotta go. You are the boss,” I grinned.

  “Sometimes I’d rather not be,” he grimaced.

  “You’ve gotta admit, it’s got a lot of perks though,” I added and he nodded. “And those perks have to outweigh the cons.”

  “True,” he agreed with a smile as we headed towards the door. He held it open and we walked to the elevators. “I had fun today. Thanks for getting me out of my pissy mood. I owe you.”

  “No, you don’t,” I said, resting my hand for a moment on his sleeve and I watched as his gaze drifted down to my hand then up to my eyes again.

  “Yes, I do,” he said softly and I couldn’t help but feel the heat on my cheeks as I grinned nervously and looked down at the floor for a second before we returned to the office.

  “Can you type up those notes?” Drew asked once we got back to my desk. I nodded as he took off his trench coat and hung it in his office before disappearing to meet Leslie.

  I sat at my computer, but I couldn’t ignore the gazes from my co-workers, who, I decided, would in no way, shape or form learn of my sharing gelato with Drew.

  “What’d you guys do at the site?” Court finally asked from his desk.

  “He wanted to make some changes so he blabbered out some ideas and I wrote it all down. Now I’m typing them up.”

  “And that took two and a half hours?” he asked doubtfully.

  “I guess it did,” I said, glancing down at the clock on my computer, surprised at how late it was.

  “Two and half hours to get there, take some notes and come back?” Court continued.

  “What are you getting at?” I asked, whipping my head away from my computer to glare at Court.

  “I’m not getting at anything. I’m just making an observation,” he smirked.

  “Well, don’t. Now, I’ve gotta get these typed up,” I said sharply, turning back to the computer and I began typing quickly.

  Maybe I should’ve just told him that we’d stopped for gelato. I had nothing to hide, so why should I have to lie? I’d done nothing wrong. My boss had been stressed out and had wanted to treat me. He’d basically dragged me there. I couldn’t refuse. Maria had mistaken us for a couple and given us some free gelato. I couldn’t very well refuse that either. It’d be rude. It had been an innocent snack with my friend. No, it had been an innocent snack with my boss. But then I closed my eyes for a moment, thinking back to the little shop and the spoons we’d shared, and wondering if it had been so innocent as I was insisting, then why did I suddenly feel so guilty?

  Twelve

  I put the afternoon out of my mind as best I could, but I knew Court hadn’t. He continued to eye me the rest of the day and I knew exactly what was running through his mind. I didn’t talk to Drew either. Whatever Leslie had needed him back at the office for kept him busy and all I saw of him was his profile in the conference room, staring down at something on the table, his brow furrowed in what I could only think was distress, as I left the office for the day. I didn’t see him much either the next day, but when I arrived at work the following morning, there was a large bag of M&Ms waiting for me on my desk. He was nowhere to be found, but I knew they were from him. He was the only person I’d told about my love of M&Ms and he’d obviously been listening. I immediately opened the bag, devouring a handful and getting to work.

  “Thank you for the M&Ms,” I told him when he’d finally made an appearance before lunch.

  “You’re very welcome, Natalie,” was all he said and he’d disappeared into his office for most of the afternoon.

  It’d been a busy day and it was almost six o’clock when I decided to head home. Drew was still working and Anna Beth and Court had already left. I slid on my coat and knocked on his open door. He looked up from his desk, but his left hand remained poised with a pencil and it appeared as if he’d been sketching something.

  “I just wanted to say goodnight,” I said to him.

  “Come here, Natalie,” he said, motioning me over to him. I walked into the office and made my way to the front of his desk. “Come around here.” He gestured to his side and I did as he asked. “What do you think of this?” He looked up at me as my eyes focused on the large sketch. I could tell he’d been working furiously on it by the way the strokes seemed to move hurriedly across the page. Despite the obvious rush, it was an amazing drawing...so lifelike
it almost jumped off the page at me. The building was modern and sleek, lined with a wall of windows. I thought it was beautiful.

  “I think it’s great. Is it for Mr. Tashawa?”

  “Yes. Every design I send for his approval gets sent back and he never tells me why. If I don’t get this right, he could very easily take the project to someone else and then I won’t be nearly as rich as Court believes I am.” I knew his last comment was meant to be a joke, but neither of us laughed. I’d never seen him look quite so nervous. He’d been worked up that day of the gelato, but he seemed almost in a panic now. Not a panic that everyone would notice, but one that I could pick up on because I knew Drew and what was normal for him at work. He was always calm and collected. He was neither of those things now.

  “What if you went with something less modern?” I said timidly, hoping he wouldn’t find me presumptuous by offering someone like him advice when I knew absolutely nothing about design. He looked up from the sketch, his brow creasing in obvious curiosity and I decided I should keep going. “It’s for a cultural arts center so why not bring an old world feel to it? Bring the past back? Maybe he’d like that?” My voice was quiet and I felt ridiculous for even trying to give him advice.

  “It’s so different than what I normally do though. I mean, he hired me because he likes my designs. I should stay with what I do.”

  “It was just a suggestion,” I said quickly. “You’re right though. Stick with what you know.”

  He turned his head back to the sketch, eyeing it for a few quiet moments.

  “Thank you, Natalie,” he said and I took that as my cue to leave.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, Drew. Have a good night.”

  “Thank you. I’ll be heading out myself soon. I can’t stare at this much longer.”

  “Don’t stress yourself out,” I said, and I rested my hand on his shoulder to reassure him. “You’ll figure it out.”

  He didn’t say anything. He just picked up his pencil and I walked out of his office, turning once more to see him rip the page off his sketchpad and begin again.

  The sun was almost set and the bright lights of New York City lighted my way home before I descended underground to the subway. I was surrounded by people, but I felt alone as I waited for the train that would take me home. It squealed to a stop and I got on, finding an empty seat and staring out into nothing as I rode in no hurry to get home to an empty apartment again. Then I heard the stop announced for 42nd Street and I stood up, heading towards the door, even though I was nowhere near my stop. I missed Ethan and I’d yet to see where he worked. Maybe I could grab a bite to eat and watch him in action and not miss him so much for a little while. Even if I couldn’t be with him how I wanted, at least I could be in the same room with him.