When You Know

by Archer, Kiki

  “Oww!” screamed Danielle, grabbing hold of the brake and trying to keep her balance. “My head!”

  Susan clung on for dear life as the scooter slowed to a stop. “Are you okay?”

  Danielle fell dramatically from the seat. “No I’m not okay! I’ve just been smacked in the face by a rake!”

  “Ladies, are you okay? What’s happened? What’s happened I say?” Bob was struggling down the grassy mound with Daisy and Timmy in tow.

  “Do I look okay to anyone?” shouted Danielle, nursing the red welt on the side of her head.

  “Let me see,” said Susan.

  “Hi, Madam Quinn. Hi, Madam Watts.” Daisy Button was smiling and waving a crutch.

  Susan shook her head. “No, it’s got too dark; I can’t see properly.”

  Danielle looked up at the small group congregated around her. She caught sight of Daisy’s orange face and gasped. “Daisy! You’re glowing! We need some light. Come over here and shine on my forehead.”

  “I said she looks glowing too,” said Timmy, smiling in Daisy’s direction.

  Daisy stepped up to her teacher and whispered. “St Tropez, brighter than bright. It was Margaret’s idea. Hypoallergenic.”

  Susan smiled at the white eyes. “Timmy seems to like it.”

  “I know,” she said with a giggle.

  “Is anyone going to help me?” shouted Danielle. “I need some ice!”

  “Shall I run back up to the school and get some?” asked Susan.

  Bob shook his head. “The pub’s closer.”

  “Can you make it to the Black Bear, Danielle?” asked Susan.

  “No! Of course not! I’m injured.” Danielle reached up to the scooter’s basket. “I need a sugar rush. I’m feeling light headed.”

  “I’ll be as quick as I can,” said Susan.

  “This is an emergency!” shouted Danielle. “Take the scooter!”

  “I’m not taking the mobility scooter,” said Susan.

  “Take it! I NEED that ice!”

  Susan jumped at the tone and mounted the scooter, twisting the speed dial half way and pulling on the throttle. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

  “A glass of ice cold cola would help too,” said Danielle, fanning her wound.

  “Noted,” said Susan, sticking her chin out and heading towards the school gates. She upped her speed slightly and tried not to smile at the thrill the ride was inducing. She turned the scooter left out of St Wilf’s driveway and mounted the curb, heading around the short corner towards the Black Bear. She picked up her speed and drove straight towards the doors of the old English pub.

  “Susan? Susan is that you?”

  Susan slowed the red mobility scooter and looked towards the voice. Felicity Fenwick had just stepped out of her white Audi R8. “Felicity. Hi.” Susan tried to switch off the power button but pipped the horn instead. “Sorry, I—”

  “No, I’m sorry.” Felicity dashed over, looking genuinely concerned. “I didn’t realise you were disabled. I would have come and picked you up.” She placed an arm around Susan’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you in out the cold.”

  ****

  “I can’t believe you thought I was disabled,” laughed Susan, taking a sip of her sparkling white wine.

  “You arrived on a red mobility scooter. What was I meant to think?” Felicity smiled. “At least that Danielle drove herself back up to the school on it. What a drama queen. She’d have put a real dampener on the evening.”

  “No, Danielle’s lovely. But thanks for your help. I don’t think I could have managed the ice and the cola whilst steering that thing.”

  “Hey, I only wanted a ride. I might even see if they’ve got one on my company car list.”

  Susan laughed and sighed at the same time. “It’s really good to get out.”

  “Missing Jenna?”

  “Umm.” Susan glanced around the interior of the old black and white timber building. There were a few regulars milling around the bar, and a loved-up couple at the table next to the jukebox, but it was still fairly early and the evening’s musician hadn’t even started to set up yet. She took a deep breath and found the courage to say the words. “Actually, we’ve decided to take a step back.”

  Felicity looked shocked. “Really? Why?”

  “Oh I don’t know. Because I’m an idiot.”

  “Did she end it?”

  “No, I did.”

  “Was it mutual?”

  Susan shrugged. “Probably. If I’m honest I think I’ve done her a favour. You were right. Just like everyone else was right. Long distance relationships don’t work, especially if they’re as young and fragile as ours is. Was.”

  “And Jenna’s fine with this?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve asked for some space. I just hate the way I’ve been feeling. Always anxious about what she’s been up to. Feeling like I’m holding her back with my neediness.” Susan shook her head. “No, I’m right. I’ve done the right thing.”

  Felicity ran her finger around the rim of her wine glass. “So you’re back on the market then?”

  Susan coughed. “Well, no. I-I-I wouldn’t quite say that.”

  “You’re not single?”

  “Well, yes. No. Well, I guess I am.” Susan shook her head. “I’m not sure actually. I’ve asked for some space, but yes, it’s far too early for me to start thinking about dating or anything.” She laughed. “Well no, I’ve never even really dated before.”

  “Do you realise you’re cute when you stumble on your words?”

  “That’s what Jenna says. Said.”

  Felicity moved a mound of flame-red hair to the other side of her head. “What else did Jenna say?”

  “About what?”

  “About you.”

  Susan felt her ears starts to flush. “Like what?”

  “Oh you know. Does she tell you how much you’ve changed since school? How you’ve sort of done this Supergirl transformation, from someone you might not even have noticed, into someone you simply can’t take your eyes off.”

  Susan tucked her hair behind her ears and looked down at the table, immediately moving her hands back up to re-adjust her hair and hide her ears that were now really quite red. “I haven’t changed that much.”

  “You hooked Jenna James! Trust me you’ve changed.”

  “She was the school’s resident hottie, wasn’t she,” said Susan with a smile.

  “She sure was.” Felicity angled her body towards Susan’s. “You’d give her a run for her money now though.”

  Susan coughed again. “No, no. Tell me about you. I’ve been talking far too much.”

  Felicity was smiling. “The way you can’t take a compliment. That’s cute too.” She paused. “Susan, are you uncomfortable with me chatting you up?”

  “Don’t be silly. You’re not chatting me up.”

  “I might be.”

  Susan gulped a large mouthful of wine. “Shall I get us another?”

  “Please,” said Felicity, keeping her eyes on Susan.

  Susan lifted her purse from the table and walked towards the bar, fully aware that Felicity would be staring if she turned back around. She slotted herself in front of a stool and jumped up, trying to look as casual as she could. What was happening? Why was Felicity flirting? What could she do? How could she handle it? Where would it lead? Susan paused her thought as she spotted Angel thanking her final customer and knew she had to focus. She would be over in a minute. It had to sound spontaneous. An off-the-cuff question. Nothing serious. No accusations. Just a quick comment that should evoke a response, and hopefully appease her concerns. Susan thought back to this afternoon’s strange encounter once more, replaying what she thought she’d heard Angel say. Marcus couldn’t possibly want her to dress up like a sch—

  “Madam Quinn! That sounded so funny when my mister smoochy pants said it, didn’t it, honey?” Angel was leaning over the bar. “I’ll have to get used to calling you that if my Tammy and Tanisha start going.”<
br />
  Susan cleared her throat. “Do you think they will?”

  “Oh yes, honey. My mister smoochy says anything’s possible. It’s just such a shame I didn’t get to see the whole school. I had to get back up here for my shift, didn’t I, honey. But he’s promised me he’ll show me his apartment in the staff living quarters next.” She clicked a piece of chewing gum between her teeth. “So what can I get you?”

  “Two glasses of sparkling white wine please.” Susan watched as the barmaid reached up for the glasses. “Sorry, I tried to catch you earlier when you were leaving my room. You made me laugh actually. Was that a Britney Spears song I heard you singing?”

  “What, honey?”

  “In my classroom. To Marcus. I’ve just not heard it for a while. It always makes me smile.”

  Angel rolled her eyes. “Are all teachers like this?”

  “Pardon?”

  “You want me to sing it for you too, honey?”

  “No, no.”

  Angel filled the second glass. “I’m teasing you. That’s her best song. Dressed up like a school girl and all that.”

  “He’s asked you to dress up like a school girl?”

  Angel looked shocked. “I didn’t just say that. Did I just say that? I’m not meant to say that. My mister smoochy pants is very particular about keeping things private.”

  “But he’s asked you to do it?”

  Angel handed over the drinks. “We’re not at that stage yet, honey. I told you before; I want to take it slowly with this one. Too many broken hearts and all that.” She winked. “But I love a bit of dress up, don’t you?”

  Susan frowned. “But he’s a teacher.”

  “Fantasies are fantasies, that’s all.” Angel looked puzzled. “Honey, are you trying to say something?”

  “No, no. Sorry. That song just made me smile.” Susan handed over a ten pound note. “Thanks, Angel. Keep the change.”

  “He’s a good guy is my mister smoochy.”

  Susan picked up the glasses. “Is he?”

  Angel smiled knowingly. “Reminds me of you actually, honey. Very similar. Both slightly misunderstood.”

  “I don’t think—”

  “Sorry, sweetie pie, I’ve got a customer.”

  Susan watched as Angel tottered her way to the other side of the bar. Similar?

  “Are you okay?” asked Felicity as Susan finally made her way back to the table. “You look a bit pained. Was that barmaid chatting you up as well?”

  “Angel? No, no. I’m fine. It’s fine.” She put the drinks down and took her seat. “Well no, actually it’s not fine. Can I ask you a quick question?”

  “Sure.”

  “But don’t read anything into it.”

  “Okay.”

  Susan settled herself down and tapped her teeth together. “Is it wrong for a teacher to want someone to dress up like a school girl?”

  “Hit me baby one more time.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Everyone loves a bit of Britney.”

  “Do they?”

  Felicity nodded. “If you asked me to dress up like a school girl then I’d do it.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, but I look much better in a sexy SWAT outfit.”

  “What if it was a male teacher asking someone to dress up like a school girl?”

  Felicity pulled a face. “I’d think he was a filthy bastard.”

  Susan laughed. “Sorry, this isn’t funny.”

  “What’s not funny?”

  Susan paused for a moment before shaking her head. “No, it’s fine. Forget about it.”

  “I’m a good listener.”

  “So am I. Tell me about you. What have you been up to since our days at St Wilf’s?”

  Felicity smiled. “No, come on, talk to me.”

  Susan lifted her glass and shook her head. “No, you go; I’m thirsty.”

  “Okay then, well, I’ve calmed down, grown up, trained as a nurse, then a vet.” She paused. “Gave up on both. I joined the police for a year, gave up on that. Now I’m selling pharmaceuticals for the UK’s largest pharmaceutical company.”

  “And how’s that going?” said Susan with a smile.

  “It’s good actually, but I think I might be getting a bit bored.”

  “You could always become a teacher.”

  “And get you to dress up as Britney?”

  Susan blushed. “No, I meant—”

  “You’re so easy to tease!” Felicity was laughing. “I think I’ll keep doing it because you’re so cute when you blush.”

  Susan took another sip of wine. “Jenna calls me an animal in bed.”

  Felicity almost fell off her chair. “What! Where did that come from?”

  “I’m not sure I like the label cute.”

  “Are you flirting with me, Susan Quinn?”

  Susan caught hold of herself. “No, no no. Sorry no.” She thought of Jenna and felt a pang of remorse. “No, sorry I wasn’t.”

  “Well I’m flirting with you,” said Felicity, leaning over and kissing Susan full on the lips.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Susan stepped out of the shower, still feeling the pain of deep remorse. She hadn’t asked Felicity to kiss her. She hadn’t expected the come on. She hadn’t encouraged the flirting. Susan paused as she flicked her head upside down and wrapped her hair in a towel. Or had she? Had she given off a vibe? Was she to blame? Her mind followed the same train of thought that it had taken last night. Is this what had happened to Jenna? Was Jenna really not at fault? Susan swallowed, still feeling physically sick. She had hardly slept a wink, and her late night attempts to call Jenna had ended with an automated message telling her that this person’s phone was switched off. Susan picked up the second large towel and wrapped it around her body. She walked out of the bathroom and stepped up onto her bed, sitting down on the throw in the corner and drawing her knees up to her chest. She felt dirty. She felt guilty. Susan shook her towelled head at herself. She felt like she’d been unfaithful. Her message tone pinged and she reached out quickly, swiping her phone from the bedside table, but moaning in disappointment when Felicity’s name flashed up. Susan read the message. It was the third one that morning, apologising once more for misreading the situation and hoping they’d still be able to continue their chat and catch up as friends, as it had all been going so well. Susan took a deep breath. It had been going so well, and Felicity would possibly make a really great friend. She’d be close. She’d certainly be exciting. Susan paused. But she’d tried to kiss her. Susan shook her head. Felicity wouldn’t do it again though, especially not after her dramatic dashing from the pub and wailing that she wanted Jenna. She started to type: I over-reacted. I’m sorry. I’d love to catch up again soon.

  Susan dropped the phone back down. Is this what Jenna had done? Ignored the misdemeanour and moved on? Amber was Jenna’s colleague, Jade was Jenna’s customer; of course she had to keep them close. Susan dropped her head into her hands, feeling like a total fool. Someone could kiss you, and it didn’t have to be your fault. Someone could cross the line, and you’d choose to keep them close. Susan bit her bottom lip and held back a tear. “What have I done?” she whispered into the silence, pulling her towel tighter around her body and sliding deeper into the bed, hoping it would swallow her whole. She lifted her head momentarily, thinking she’d heard a noise, but dropped it back down when she realised she hadn’t. Life was so difficult, she thought. So hard to get right. Why wasn’t there a manual? Why didn’t— She lifted her head again, this time freeing an ear from her towel. Yes, there had definitely been a knock. A knock at the door. She pulled the towel back over her ear and sank her head into the pillow. There was nowhere she had to be. No one she had to meet. Whoever it was could just go away and take their issues elsewhere.

  Susan heard the knocking again. She took a deep breath and rolled herself off the bed, checking she was still all tucked in. Maybe there was an emergency in the dorms, she thought, as she wal
ked up to the door. Maybe Daisy Button was having an allergic reaction after plunging herself into a tar pit. She unlocked the latch and yanked on the handle. Maybe Champagne and Priggy—

  “Jenna?” gasped Susan, as she pulled the door open.

  “I’m sorry, I just—”

  “JENNA!” shouted Susan, as she threw the door wide and grabbed hold of her girlfriend.

  “Can I come—”

  “JENNA!” screamed Susan, as she squeezed her in close and clung on for dear life.

  Jenna managed to swing her holdall from the penguin position she’d been forced into, dropping it inside Susan’s apartment. “I really am—”

  “Stop,” said Susan, smothering Jenna’s neck, face and lips with kisses. “It’s me, I—” Susan found herself unable to talk as Jenna’s hands clutched her back and her lips met her mouth, Jenna’s tongue pushing harder against her own. Susan staggered backwards, pulling Jenna into the apartment. She slammed the door shut and changed her direction, driving Jenna backwards against the door. The contact between them was hard and searing, and both knew they couldn’t stop the moment even if they tried. Susan grabbed Jenna’s neck, tilting her head upwards, forcing her own tongue deeper into her girlfriend’s mouth. “Need you,” she murmured, unable to control herself, thrusting her other hand up Jenna’s top and squeezing her breast.

  Jenna ripped the towel from Susan’s body and pulled on the bare buttocks, drawing Susan in even closer. “Feel the energy,” she whispered, in between the rough urgent kisses.

  “It’s more than energy,” gasped Susan, removing her hand from Jenna’s neck and plunging it down the front of her jeans, immediately tilting her fingers upwards and forcing herself inside. “You’re so wet,” she cried.

  Jenna screamed out in pleasure. “Yes! Take me deeper.”

  Susan yanked her hand out of Jenna’s jumper and thrust it against her mouth, silencing her screams. “You have to be quiet.”

  “I can’t,” cried Jenna between the fingers, as Susan pushed even deeper.

  Susan tightened her grip over Jenna’s mouth and pressed her body against her girlfriend’s, slamming her naked breasts into Jenna’s chest and using her thigh to thrust her fingers further inside. “Take more for me,” gasped Susan, watching her girlfriend’s eyes widen as she readjusted her hand.