Kristin Vayden

by Surviving Scotland

  She took a deep breath and studied my expression, as if searching for a weakness to exploit.” Ye must leave then. I donna want ta be reminded o’ what ye and yer uncle have done. He promised ye. Said ye had agreed to marry me Cullon. I saw ye as a daughter, treated ye as a daughter, and ye betrayed us all. I donna want ta see ye or my traitorous nephew.” The venom with which she spoke startled me.

  “Mither?” a voice called from down the hall. Immediately her countenance changed to one of benign indifference. She patted my arm as she passed me by and walked to the door.

  “So nice to have a chat with ye.” She nodded and walked out into the hall. “Here I am, Cullon. I was just havin’ a talk with Elle.”

  The sound of her retreating footsteps along with Cullon’s heavy footfalls released me from my shock. Who would see love through such a skewed perspective? My heart hurt for Cullon. His own mother was willing to forfeit his happiness for prestige. A prestige I didn’t even know I owned. I made a mental note to ask Morag or my uncle about it later, or rather sooner, since I determined to leave at first light. I shook my head, trying to dispel the image of her calculating gaze. It was unsettling in its familiarity. Before I could dwell on why, I walked to my door, intent on finding Ioan. While I knew Cullon would not wish us to leave so quickly, I knew it would be for the best. Hopefully enough time had passed for the danger to diminish, and we’d be safe to travel.

  After searching the parlor and common rooms downstairs, I headed to the stables in my efforts in finding Ioan. The smell of sweet hay and leather greeted me as I entered. Dag stood in the far stall and nickered a greeting to me.

  “I donna have a treat fer ye,” I apologized. The muzzle of his nose was like short velvet and I leaned forward to kiss it.

  “‘Tis a lucky horse.”

  “Aye, and well he knows it,” I replied before glancing back to Ioan as he leaned against a beam. His arms were folded across his broad chest. The shirtsleeves were rolled up enough for me to see the lines of his veins in his sculpted arms. My eyes traced up his spun shirt to his plaid and finally rested on his twinkling green eyes.

  “Ioan, do ye think it’s safe for us ta leave on the morrow?” I asked after a slight hesitation.

  A crease in his brow displayed his reaction to the question. He pushed himself from the beam and released his arms, striding over to me at a lazy pace.

  “Why do ye ask, Elle?”

  “Margaret requested it.” Hurt, remorse and anger flashed across his face before he settled on a weary expression.

  “When did she talk with ye, Elle?”

  “After the meal, she came up ta my room and… asked me a few questions.”

  “About?” His eyes searched mine with patient curiosity.

  “About why I donna want ta marry Cullon.”

  “Ahh.” Ioan nodded. “And she asked us ta leave…” He held his hand out, waiting for me to provide the missing information.

  “When I said that I’d no’ be changin’ me mind.”

  Ioan took a deep breath. “‘Tis fer the best, I suppose. Yer uncle will be anxiously awaitin’ news of yer comin’ marriage. He just willna expect it ta be ta me.” Ioan gave me a small smile but it ended shortly after it began.

  “Ioan…” I spoke softly, letting his name flow from my lips like a caress. With exaggerated slow movements, I traced the veins in his arm and stumbled my fingers over the roll in his sleeves. My hands flowed farther up his arm and to his neck. My eyes followed his Adam’s apple as it bobbed from his swallow. My fingers traced his ears and jaw, causing his eyes to drift closed.

  “Ye aren’t gettin’ rid o’ me, Ioan.” I leaned forward and spoke softly into his ear. He shuddered, then began to chuckle.

  “‘Tis ye that aren’t gettin’ rid o’ me, lass,” Ioan’s voice rumbled in my ear.

  “I donna want to.” I breathed the words against his neck. The shudder his body gave in response to my words gave me goosebumps.

  “I’d just chase after ye like always.”

  “Always?” I asked as I ran my nose down the sensitive flesh below his ear.

  “Aye. Dinna ye even once wonder why I always turned up around ye?” He chuckled the words. His warm hands circled my waist and pulled me flush against his solid body. Smoke and peppermint assaulted my senses as I inhaled the scent from his skin.

  “I just tho’ ‘twas your self-appointed job ta provoke me.”

  “Ah, Elle. Donna ye understand? By keepin’ ye angry, vexed an’ on yer guard, I was able ta keep my own guard up as well. ‘Twas much harder ta be around yer smiles and flirtatious ways when I didna think ye’d ever be mine.” A quick kiss was placed to the side of my cheek and he leaned back, grinning at me.

  “Flirtatious ways? I donna remember those, Ioan. Pushin’ ye in the loch, that I remember.” Ioan’s rich laughter shook his body and consequently mine, since we were so close to one another.

  “Ye surprised me with that one. But…” His brow furrowed. “When did ye learn to fight, Elle? With a sword, no less? I tho’ yer uncle was adamant in ye learnin’ ta be a lady.”

  “I donna ken.” I shrugged.

  Forgive me, lass. ‘Tis just confusin’ at times when ye remember things, just no’ why.”

  “Ye are tellin’ me.” I gave him a wry expression.

  “Ye still donna remember anythin’, do ye?” Ioan asked the question tenderly. His hand reached out and brushed the wisps of my hair away from my face. He tweaked my nose, and then dropped his arms to hold me tight as I shook my head.

  “Nay, but...” I hesitated, unsure of how to explain what seemed to be memories that could have never happened.

  “Aye?” Ioan asked with an encouraging tone. His grass green eyes watched me tenderly.

  “‘Tis strange, Ioan. I will have these strange… I donna ken how they could be memories, but ‘tis what they feel like… but they would be impossible. I donna ken how ta make sense of it all.” My shoulders sagged and I lowered my head slightly.

  “Well, do ye mind sharin’ what ye seem ta remember?” Ioan asked, while tilting my chin up so I’d make eye contact.

  “Ye willna call me crazy?”

  “Ach, lass, donna ye know? I already tho’ that!” Ioan teased.

  I grinned and relaxed at once, spilling my strange memories from somewhere I could have never been, London. Ioan listened carefully, giving me his full attention. When I finished, I held my breath as I waited for his response.

  “‘Tis strange, Elle, I willna deny that. I can see ye are sorely vexed by it, but I wouldna worry. ‘Tis impossible, an’ who can understand how God made our minds, especially yours.” He tapped my forehead gently then leaned forward to kiss it.

  “I told ye it was strange.”

  “Aye, but ‘tis no’ makin’ me run fer the hills, lassie, unless it means I’m takin ye with me.” Ioan winked and my heart thumped wildly. I bit my lip and glanced away, suddenly shy.

  “Donna lose yer courage now, lass. ‘Tis only a bit o’ teasin’.” Ioan took a deep breath and sobered, glancing back at Dag, who was munching hay contentedly. “So we are ta leave.”

  “Aye.”

  “I’ll make the arrangements, Elle. Can ye be ready at first light?”

  “Aye.”

  “Then run ta yer room, love, an’ dream o’ the night I’ll be there with ye ta keep ye company.” Ioan pulled me forward, kissing my mouth passionately. There was not a progression of passion to the kiss, but it was immediately consuming and playful all at once. My lips wound around his in a hungry passion that drove me to pull his head closer to mine. The flavor of his kiss branded itself upon my heart and mind, imprinting itself permanently. Far too quickly, Ioan broke the kiss and spun me around to face the door. His arms steadied me for a moment, but when he released me, he patted my bum and walked by, whistling as he reached for a rope on the wall. I watched him with a knowing grin, as he winked at me in passing and headed for Dag’s stall. As I left I shook my head. Life would forever be
interesting in Ioan’s arms.

  ****

  Niall and Cullon weren’t pleased at our quick departure. They both escorted us to the stables, and the air was thick with tension. I glanced to Ioan but his focus was on Dag and another bay horse that he’d be riding.

  “Are ye sure that ‘tis safe for the lass, Ioan?” Niall asked in a low and serious tone.

  “Aye, as long as we travel quickly, no one will be the wiser. Maol made certain that it was known that Elle was seeking refuge… and a husband with a powerful family.” Ioan mumbled the last words as if wondering if it were wise to disclose that last bit of information.

  “Will it go well for ye when Maol is informed of yer… affection for his niece?” Niall’s voice rumbled in the small enclosure of the barn.

  “My affection is no’ unknown.”

  “‘Tis grand, then! But one has ta wonder why he sent Elle to me if…?” Cullon’s relieved words were cut short as his brow furrowed in displeasure and concern. “He dinna approve o’ ye, did he?” Cullen asked quietly.

  “No.”

  “Then he is a foolish man, Ioan.” Niall’s confession startled both Ioan and me. Though true, I didn’t expect Niall to state favor of Ioan’s character over my uncle’s. “‘Tis the truth.” Niall huffed at Ioan’s and my started expressions. “Ye certainly think so or else ye wouldna be attached ta the boy!” He gestured to me with a powerful arm.

  “Aye, but ‘tis grand ta hear it from ye,” Ioan spoke with gratitude.

  “Donna get me wrong, lass. Yer uncle is a great man. But even great men, or women…” he turned to glance at the castle meaningfully, “…donna make the best decisions at times. Pride fails us all at one time or another.”

  “Aye,” I murmured.

  “Send word when ye arrive.” Niall’s voice boomed once more as he slapped Ioan on the back and took my hand and kissed it lightly. His heavy whiskers prickled the flesh on my wrist, and I barely resisted the urge to scratch away the tickling sensation he left once he released me. He grasped his son’s hand next and reached in to embrace him. Ioan and I cut questioning glances at one another. As Niall walked away, Cullon stepped forward.

  “We best be off.”

  “Aye… but ye mean us, no’ we…?” Ioan asked carefully, watching his cousin sling a saddle onto a grey mare.

  “Nay, I mean we as in ye an’ I an’ the pretty lassie there.” Cullon spoke the words over his shoulder as he tightened the straps and tied a bag onto the saddle.

  “I donna understand…” I spoke tentatively.

  “Ach, lass, I expected such a slow response from me cousin there, but no’ ye. Ye are supposed ta be the smart one! Clearly his kisses are muddlin’ yer brains,” Cullon teased while winking at Ioan.

  “Cousin, ye donna need ta accompany us.” Ioan took a step forward.

  “Aye, I do. ‘Tis another sword ye need. While her tongue is sharp at times, I doubt it could draw the blood of a brute.”

  “Ye—” I began and then halted, immediately settling on a scowl. Any words I spoke would simply prove him correct. Ioan chuckled at my response and shook his head in defeat.

  “‘Tis true. Then I thank ye, Cullon.”

  Cullon paused and studied Ioan for a moment.

  “An’ it willna hurt ta have me affirm yer story when ye speak to Maol about yer affections for one another…” Cullon added meaningfully.

  “‘Tis true.” Ioan sighed heavily and I reached up to place my hand on his shoulder.

  “We best be off,” Ioan called and took my hand, leading me to Dag. With ease, he tossed me onto the beast’s back and patted my leg while raising an eyebrow suggestively. I swatted his hand and glanced to Cullon.

  “Ye need a chaperon as well,” Cullon called as he mounted his mare.

  “Aye, the lass may still try ta steal my virtue. Wouldna be the first time, cousin,” Ioan spoke as he swung onto his own mount.

  “Perhaps I should reconsider ye, Elle. Are ye that attached ta the ugly goat? I’m far more handsome…”

  I rolled my eyes and kicked Dag’s flanks gently, urging him into a walk.

  “Aye, an’ I seem ta remember ye admittin’ ta me bein’ too stubborn for ye.”

  “‘Tis true, ye canna handle the lass. I, on the other hand…” Ioan wagged his eyebrows as I turned in the saddle to glance back at the two men wearing giant grins.

  “Ye are a rogue. Both o’ ye.” The sound of Ioan and Cullon’s laughter reached my ears as we began the steep descent from Dumbarton castle. About halfway down I glanced back at the high, imposing structure that had almost become my home. Once again I was thankful for Ioan’s love saving me from the type of life the cold stone castle promised. Sisterly affection and a strident mother-in-law were not what I wanted. With Ioan, I may not have the wealth, but I’d be far richer in what mattered. Love.

  Chapter Nine

  Ever vigilant, Cullon and Ioan scanned the trees and shore as soon as we were on our way, not once stopping ‘til we saw the Carnasserie Castle in the evening mists. The grey sky melted into hazy purples and oranges as the day began its decent into night. As we approached the gate, I glanced about for guards. Through the mist I saw two men standing on either side of the gate. At our approach they readied themselves in a defensive position that relaxed once Ioan called out to them.

  Dag followed Ioan’s mount through the gate, and Cullon’s followed mine. The courtyard was welcoming in its familiarity, and I sighed contentedly. It was wonderful to recognize something. But as soon as the blissful sensation came, it left, and in its wake was a wary trepidation. I wasn’t looking forward to my uncle’s reaction to my desire to marry Ioan.

  Once the horses were stabled, we began to walk toward the large wooden door that led into the main hall. Ioan reached for my hand and squeezed it. When I glanced up at him, he gave me a confident smile, but his eyes were wary. I squeezed his hand back then wrapped both hands around his arm and snuggled up close to him as we walked, knowing I’d have to separate myself from him once we entered the hall.

  The evening meal was being served, and we could smell the bannocks and hear the dull roar of conversation. As we walked in, Ioan released me and waited for me to enter first. I nodded and did as he asked. The men glanced up at my arrival with curious expressions. No doubt my uncle had said I was gone and likely already married to Cullon. The urge to berate him for his foolish lie almost overcame my good sense. Ioan stepped beside me, and Cullon took the other as we scanned the room. My uncle stood when our eyes met, and he opened up his arms in a welcoming gesture. His expression was openly curious until he glanced to Ioan and narrowed his eyes. For a moment I wondered what had caused his apparent suspicion, but then I remembered that my uncle hadn’t expected Ioan to return at all. I led the way to my uncle’s table and nodded in respect when I arrived.

  “‘Tis a wondrous thing ta see ye, Elle. I’ve missed ye so.” The tone of my uncle’s voice was deep with emotion. As much as I was angered at his pride and judgment, I couldn’t deny that he did love me. His eyes misted slightly and he cleared his throat before he addressed Cullon.

  “‘Tis wonderful ta see ye, Cullon!” My uncle nodded as he grasped Cullon’s wrist and shook it mightily.

  “‘Tis grand ta be here,” Cullon spoke mildly, his usual nature subdued.

  “Ioan.” My uncle eyed him before hesitantly reaching out to grasp his wrist as well. I watched as Ioan’s jaw tightened with tension at the hesitant welcome. How could my uncle harbor such dislike for him, when Ioan had given up so much to help protect me, protect that which I loved? Anger welled within me, and I took a quick breath to address my uncle’s lack of welcome, but Cullon reached out and grasped my wrist, shaking his head slightly. I nodded reluctantly, and watched my uncle’s brown eyes scrutinize Ioan’s green fathoms.

  “I dinna expect ta see ye, lad.”

  “Aye, I know. ‘Tis best if we speak of it in private.” Ioan let the words linger and waited for my uncle to make a decision on
where and when that discussion would occur.

  “No doubt.” He glanced from me to Cullon and offered a knowing smile.

  “But let it wait ‘til the morrow! Ye are likely worn by the journey. Enjoy a hot meal and take some much needed rest. Yer news can wait, can it no’?” My uncle winked at Cullon, ignoring Ioan’s “yes” to his question. “After all, I want ta be able ta celebrate. Good news deserves a grand feast, aye?”

  Ioan hesitated but I spoke quickly.

  “Aye, uncle. There truly is reason ta celebrate.” I offered him my brightest smile. Ioan glanced down at me with an expression of wonder and amusement. Uncle Maol didn’t notice the exchange, but Cullon did. He coughed in an effort to hide a chuckle. A moment later, I excused myself from the company of the men and went to my room. Ioan’s eyes followed me. The searing heat from his gaze almost melted my resolve to turn and run back into his arms, but it would be better to wait. Today had been a hard journey and we all needed our rest.

  ****

  Shortly after arriving in my room, a tap on the door interrupted my effort in untying my boots. With one boot on and one off, I hobbled to the door and opened it slightly.

  “Evenin’, lassie. ‘Tis good ta see ye,” Morag spoke joyfully.

  The door swung open as I ushered her inside and gave her a hug. She returned the embrace with surprising strength for such an old woman. The scent of lavender and smoke clung to her clothes. Once I released her, she shut the door behind us and sat down by the fire, pointing to the other chair for me to sit as well.

  “Are ye indeed engaged ta the young Cullon Campbell? ‘Tis a handsome one,” Morag began, but the twinkle present in her eyes earlier had lost its sparkle.

  “Can ye keep a secret, Morag?” I leaned forward.

  “Aye.” Her eyes danced.

  I leaned back in my chair once more.

  “No, I’m no’ ta marry Cullon, but…”

  “Aye?” Morag leaned forward in anticipation.

  “I am ta marry… someone.”

  “Are ye now…” Morag’s grin spread across her weathered and wrinkled face.